Atlas
by Kagaseo
Summary: "My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I don't have chakra. I can't walk on walls, I can't breath fire, and I certainly can't make a clone of myself. Who cares? I'm awesome anyway." Can Naruto be a good ninja in a world where everyone BUT him has superpowers? Yes. Yes he can.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1:**_

_**Only Human?**_

One morning, a very unusual scene caught some attention in the Hidden Village of Konoha.

It all started with an old man, in the merchant district. Some unremarkable fossil in his sixties, with grayish hair and kind blue eyes. He presented himself as a former farmer, now looking for peace and visiting his family in town. He was dressed with poor clothes, and needed a cane to walk straight.

He was polite, friendly, and wise. He quickly became a favorite of the merchants there, narrating anecdotes about trees and crops. He could talk hours on how life was at his farm, so much he started a debate with another one that had arrived to sell his products. All over whether pigs were better income than chickens or not.

Nobody suspected anything wrong…

Until the ANBU crashed the party, encircled the man, and slammed his face on the ground, restraining him.

It was then, and only then, when the citizens fearfully asked what was happening, that a ANBU used a water technique to wash away the man's face. As it turned out, he had dyed his hair white. And used makeup.

A lot of makeup.

In ten seconds, the old man left place to a fifteen or so years old blonde teen. He grinned ear to ear, and only spoke a single sentence.

"I'm so going to kill the guy who sold me this crappy hair dye... oh, and nice work, it took you, what, two days to find me. And no excuse: _I left you hints_."

Nobody truly understood what had happened that day, even if all the citizens of adult age knew the blonde boy as Uzumaki Naruto, the single most hated teen in the country. For civilians, it was all a prank. To the ANBU, it was a humiliation. To the Hokage, it was an amusing moment.

To Naruto, it was his long-awaited graduation.

* * *

_**Hokage's Office**_

The Sandaime was deeply conflicted between laughing over the situation or sighing in disappointment.

Peace had worn his people's vigilance. The Forbidden Scroll been stolen, by a _genin candidate_, of all people. "Now, tell me, Naruto, how did you manage to steal the Forbidden Scroll, kept by the ANBU and the Inuzuka police force, _without_getting thrown in jail?"

"Easy." The blonde didn't seem bothered by the fact the ANBU present were glaring potently at his back and leaking killing intent. He was perfectly calm, and still wearing the old clothes Sarutobi had given him for the sake of his 'graduation test'. "The third patrol always takes a break of ten minutes near one o'clock in the afternoon, to drink coffee. I just had to slip in and replace the scroll with a replica."

Sarutobi had actually chuckled when he had opened the fake scroll and discovered it completely blank, save for the boy's signature. He had been deeply impressed at that moment… before realizing a _teen_could easily steal one of the village's most prized weapon and get away with it. "The Inuzuka didn't pick up your scent?" He silently promised himself to have a word with the third patrol, who were shifting uncomfortably in the background.

"I put the scroll in the trash and disguised myself as one of the workers in charge of emptying them," the blonde grinned, crossing his fingers in a bossy manner. "Some perfume and the dogs didn't recognize me. Makeup, faking a cough and a different way of walking fooled their human partners."

Hidden in plain sight, indeed. "And the scroll?"

"Gave it to Iruka-sensei, playing the role of the accomplice. He could have left Konoha anytime and nobody would have been fooled. By staying in the village and leaving hints I was still present, the police focused on tracking me and didn't consider I had actually handed the scroll to someone else first and was only buying him time."

Naruto then proceeded to humiliate nearly all the ninjas present with two fingers and three sentences.

"Took you two days to catch up. And remember: _I left you hints_. I _signed my crime_."

As killing intent skyrocketed in the room, Sarutobi calmed everyone into obedience with a glare. The mere aura of the God of Shinobi forced every ninja in the room to back down in fear, including the blonde braggart. "Get out, all of you. Naruto is mine to punish."

In ten seconds flat, the door closed, leaving them alone.

The Hokage stared at the teen.

Naruto stared back.

After a short silence, they broke off laughing.

"Too bad I can't see past their masks, their faces must have been priceless," the blonde chuckled, having dropped his former aloofness. "Ne, we're both wonderful actors, aren't we old man?"

"I must ask… did you mimic anyone?" Sarutobi chuckled. "Or was it all yours?"

"The _'I'm so awesome I can boast you to death anytime' _moment?" The prankster smirked widely. "All mine. I did steal a few faces from Uchiha 'asshole' Sasuke."

Sarutobi shook his head. He could understand the bitter enmity between those two. Sasuke was everything his adoptive grandson had ever wanted to be, and would never be. The Sandaime had almost fired the examiner who had proposed putting these two in the same team.

True, it was a tradition to put the rookie of the year and dead-last in the same team for balance, a tradition _many _had criticized due to the usual bad chemistry between those two places. The resulting tension was sometimes appeased by the middle genin, or ended with teams dissolving. Sarutobi had taken no risk this time. Sasuke and Naruto would be at each other's throat within a day if left together.

It was especially problematic since the last Uchiha needed protection, for his lineage had to be preserved. The Village's biologists had attempted to safeguard some genetic material to recreate the clan in time, but the progresses in the field weren't important. A living heir able to procreate would have more results.

Sasuke Uchiha had to stay alive until puberty, and being in Naruto's team would reduce his lifespan… drastically.

"I must tell you this, Naruto… I am impressed." He hadn't taken the teen seriously when he had assured him that he could steal the artifact without anyone noticing. In fact, the Sandaime had thought it to be an impossible occurrence. Of course, the Uzumaki had always had access to the Hokage tower, so had more knowledge than most infiltrators.

Sarutobi had to convince himself it wouldn't happen again.

"Then, old man…" Naruto crossed his fingers, his eyes full of hope. "Does it mean I pass?"

The tone carried a fear laden undercurrent. Sarutobi couldn't blame him. The boy had failed the exam two times already, and the Hokage was pretty convinced he would have failed again had he taken the usual academy test. Due to his… peculiar state, the blonde lacked the latent Taijutsu potential the examiners had recognized in Rock Lee, which, combined with his good academic grades, had allowed him to pass and join Maito Gai's team.

Naruto, by all margins, couldn't be a ninja.

Yet, Sarutobi believed in him. He could see the determination, the potential, the sharp mind under the usually carefree demeanor. Naruto would at least be a good ninja, perhaps an excellent one.

As such, when the teen had come to him directly for a chance to be judged on the Hokage's terms and not the academy's program, Sarutobi had tasked him to steal the Forbidden Scroll. The old man hadn't expected his adoptive grandchild to succeed, but he would have examined his efforts and evaluated them at their worth.

Oh _boy_, he hadn't been disappointed.

"Yes." The word was simple, and Naruto beamed in joy. "Yes, you pass. With flying colors."

Carefully, the Sandaime took off his own headband and handed it to Naruto. The now genin's face was priceless. "It's yours."

"Mine? You mean, like, _mine_?" His eyes were wide open. "The Hokage's headband?"

Sarutobi quickly gave a correction. "Sarutobi Hiruzen's headband. I received it from the Nidaime Hokage, and now, I believe it would be justice for you to receive it. You deserve it."

After all, Naruto had been chosen as sacrifice since birth, and was only rewarded with a demon's curse and loneliness. He deserved far more than just a headband.

The genin took the gift with utmost care, staring at it for minutes in silence. Some part of him wanted to say he didn't deserve such honor. He would wear this precious headband with pride and dignity, and take it as a sign of eternal success.

He had waited years for this. Two times had he made a grab at graduating, only to fail both times. At fifteen, two years later than the average genin, he had become a full Shinobi. He had been humiliated, exhausted, but he had made it to the end of his curriculum. "I will not fail," he spoke, putting the headband over his forehead. "I will become unrivaled under the sun. I promise."

Sarutobi smiled. "Do you remember the Nindo?"

"I don't remember the Nindo. I _am _the Nindo." The blonde crossed his arm and started reciting his personal creed.

"_Be efficient. Be determined__. Always have a plan_."

* * *

_**At Ichiraku's Ramen Stand**_

"I did it, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto proudly showed the instructor his new headband. "I _**fucking **_did it! All thanks to you!" The new genin had decided to wear a 'work only' outfit for this occasion.

The costume was composed all black and made of cotton, and composed of boots, trousers, a jacket, a belt, and protective arm-and-hand sleeves. Iruka was aware the outfit had many pockets hidden everywhere, and needed a hood to be truly completed. it was something he had gifted to the boy one year ago, as consolation for his second failed graduation.

The mysterious, full bag he was carrying, however…

The Chuunin gave him a warm smile, deeply happy for his student. "I didn't do much," he admitted, scratching the back of his neck in an awkward manner. To be honest, Naruto skipped most classes, save for the kunai throwing and Taijutsu lessons. Avoiding classes that would not have helped with his graduation at all. "What you did, you did it on your own."

Naruto shook his head. "I couldn't have gotten as far as I did without you, sensei." As Ayame and Teuchi came to the bar to hand them free ramen bowls, the blonde smiled at them two. "And neither would have I without your support."

"You're too kind," Ayame grinned widely. "I hope you intend to drop by from time to time? If you're on missions, you might be away for months."

It was obvious. Naruto liked to deign himself as an infiltration-oriented Shinobi, and as such would probably be sent on long-term spying missions. "I will return as often as I can," he promised.

"You're always welcome, as our best customer," Teuchi suddenly cut in. "And… because I like you personally."

Naruto was touched. He hadn't made many friends due to his… little demonic tenant. Scratch that, the only people he could call friends were the Hokage, the people present for this little celebration and a team that should arrive soon. Plus, he wasn't a fool. He knew his presence had affected the restaurant's reputation, and insisted on paying the two back.

He stared around himself, sure no one would interrupt the moment, and opened his bag. "Here are little gifts I brought for you all, for being all around nice people." A golden bowl for Teuchi, a bouquet of flowers for Ayame, and an hot spring life membership card for Iruka.

"My favorites!" Ayame blushed slightly, humming the perfume. "How did you know?"

Naruto grinned and struggled to find a good lie.

In fact, he had basically stalked her, asked everyone she knew on her preferences, sometimes under disguises, and then went on to ask advice from Ino. Which had been a horribly bad idea, as she kept pestering him on his 'secret girlfriend' for hours. The next day, the entire class was speaking about it when he bothered not to skip lessons.

Why were gossips so goddamn _fast _at spreading rumors?

"I have my ways." _Ominous tone? Check. Arising her suspicion? Check too._

"If you want to date my daughter, you only had to ask," Teuchi teased him ruthlessly. If Ayame's angry expression was of any indication, she didn't appreciate her father's remark.

Truth to be told, Naruto had some sort of crush on the older girl. How couldn't he, she was the only girl willing to spend time with him when he was Naruto, and not some disguise. He had thought about actually trying to court her and 'practiced', but something always prevented him from making a move.

He was a demon.

_Demon vessel, _he mentally corrected himself. The whole town was making the same mistake, and the restaurant already had a bad reputation due to his frequent visits there. If Ayame was willing to date him (and that was a big if) there would inevitably be bloodshed due to him.

So no girlfriend.

"Naruto-kun!" A familiar voice caught his attention. A boy in green spandex landed -yes, landed - right next to him. "Dynamic entry!" Rock Lee shouted, completely oblivious to everyone's shocked face, and presenting a thumbs-up. "Sorry, sorry, I'm so late!"

"Naruto-kun!" A older, certainly _not _wiser version of Rock Lee entered the restaurant, backed by two genin. Team 9 had finally arrived. "My apologies for the delay! We had to make a report to Hokage-sama on our latest mission!"

"That and I convinced them not to give you a spandex suit for your graduation," Tenten deadpanned, politely greeting the blonde and the rest of the people present.

Hyuuga Neji simply gave a sharp nod to the new genin. "It seems it was indeed your fate to succeed, in spite of your shortages," he whispered, making Naruto twitch. The two had never really gotten along, as Naruto disliked the Hyuuga's arrogance and natural talent, finding him to be everything he would never be. That, and his fatalistic beliefs were truly annoying.

Of course, it didn't prevent the both of them from having some ounce of respect for the other. Naruto admired Neji's will to succeed, even if he was only considered a slave by the Main Branch, and Neji had told him he was impressively talented for someone born to fail.

It was the closest thing to a compliment Neji could ever give.

"I must congratulate you for your graduation!" Maito Gai smiled widely, giving the teen the 'nice guy' pose. "Naruto-kun, your fires of youth shall shine brightly!"

"Naruto-kun, I expected nothing less from my rival!" Rock Lee spoke. "Our next spar shall decide our fate!"

"Let's show him our fire, Lee!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!"

The scene was followed by a horrible sunset genjutsu set to incredibly bad music. As the spandex monsters started hugging each other with tears in their eyes, the rest couldn't help but cringe. _When you think of it, it's really the only genjutsu Gai ever mastered, _Naruto mused.

Tenten lost no time in teasing him. "So, I guess your spars are fifty-fifty? What was it last time, staying still as long as possible?"

"Actually, it was scroll-log-shuriken." Of course, Lee always asked crazy stuff like running around Konoha fifty times on one foot, so Naruto balanced with simple, sometimes random activities. According to Gai, his personal rival had a similar outlook on their 'youthful competition'.

To sum up: spandex made people completely out of their gourd.

"Anyway, I would like to thank you all for your support and the remedial classes you gave me," Naruto announced, remembering the many, many times he had participated with Team 9's training exercises. In fact, he could almost be considered an extra member.

The new genin, after his first failed graduation, had found himself in their class, last year. The only one he befriended during school was Lee, after finding him training alone. Naruto couldn't really put a name on how their friendship started; he guessed it had been natural for dead-lasts to stick together. Even more since they had a similar condition, although Lee at least had chakra to reinforce his muscles.

Naruto didn't even have that.

After Lee graduated thanks to his latent potential for Taijutsu and good grades, Naruto kept meeting him, and was introduced to his team. Gai had apparently been informed of his curse, and had taken an immediate liking to him. The jounin had even given supplementary Taijutsu classes. True, the blonde would never surpass anybody competent in the field due to lack of strength, but hey, it was the thought that mattered.

Tenten had been easy to befriend. They had never talked at school, due to mutual lack of interest in the other. When Lee had introduced him to Team 9, she struck him as the most _normal _member. She didn't wear spandex, and didn't have an enslaving seal over her forehead. As she was the daughter of one of the weapon seller in town, he usually met her when he was on errands. Her father had warmed up considerably to him when he saw the two bickering playfully, and proceeded to lower his prices a bit.

Naruto had become his best customer hereafter.

As for Neji… when the first thing he had said was 'worthless failure', he had earned a broken nose and a blow to his pride. They had proceeded to beat the crap out of each other until Gai separated them.

Yes, what a fantastic way to start a friendship.

Because it was a friendship. True, anyone outside the team would only hear insults or thinly veiled death threats. However, the Hyuuga and the Jinchuuriki shared a thing in common: being born with a seal that screwed their life over since the very beginning. They expressed their bitterness in different ways, not being wealthy enough to take anger management classes.

After a few months of regular jabbing spars, punches and kicks, they managed to reach some level of understanding under the sun, bloodied and bruised. Or maybe was it the multiple blows to the brain that made them a little more warmer, mixed with some exhaustion-induced crappy dialogues and revelations about the nature of the universe.

So, they went from enemies to _best _enemies.

"I've got gifts for you all." For a second, remorse and shame almost made Naruto back down. It was cruel, horrible, nasty, crazy. Neji and Tenten would hate his gut and never talk to him ever again.

… _nah, they're just going to sulk in a corner for a month or so._

"The youthful gift that will make the fires of your youth even brighter!" Tenten's expression crumbled in horror, and Neji's eyes widened.

"Orange Spandex for all of you!"

* * *

_**The next day, in the Hokage's Office**_

Sweat dropping from his forehead, the Hokage deepened on his seat. The graduation photo was _horrible_.

"Naruto," he whispered, trying to chase away the terrible image from his mind and forget it altogether. "Did you really have to _cross-dress_? This photo will follow you for a long, _long _time."

"What, don't you like my _'sexy no jutsu'_?" The teen had dropped the sinister, shameful disguise for an equally horrible orange jumpsuit too small for his size, and a green bag. "I put some effort into it."

Sarutobi repressed the urge to cringe. Anyone would have been fooled indeed. The wig, make-up, and fake breasts had turned the prankster into a cute, adorable girl… which made it ever _creepier_. The Hokage made a mental note to prevent Jiraiya from ever learning of this event.

"I have both bad news and great news for you." The Sandaime took his breath. "The good news is, you're not going to be in Sasuke's team."

"Yes!" Naruto jumped on place. "Which team do I get? Kurenai's? Do I replace Kiba in the roster?"

The Sandaime's eyes narrowed. The temperature had dropped to near zero. Yet, the blonde didn't seem bothered in the slightest. "Naruto, who told you the team's formation." Only the jounin and instructors had access to this information. Whoever blurted out the beans would soon be in a world of hurt.

"Simple deduction, actually." Naruto took a black book from under his jumpsuit. Sarutobi instantly recognized a reproduction of the Bingo Book. "From what I had gathered on Kurenai Yuuhi, she's an expert at Genjutsu and infiltration, but had stated more than once her desire to teach. After analyzing the profiles of my comrades, I realized Hinata Hyuuga, Shino Aburame and Kiba Inuzuka would make an excellent scouting and tracking team. A Genjutsu expert would complete the formation, and your reaction just confirmed my suspicions. I guess I was drafted in Kiba's place?"

"No." The teen had been right on almost everything. The Sandaime had figured any tracking team needed some cover, which Kurenai could provide by casting a Genjutsu on her team. Plus, due to her mother-like personality, he believed she could have the Aburame and Hyuuga grow out of their social inexperience.

Seeing the Hyuuga heiress' position, a mother-figure would be _very _welcomed.

"Due to your peculiar skills, you are oriented for stealth operations, infiltration, and assassination." The Hokage locked eyes with the boy. "Activities that must never be made public. If the rest of your class is the tree we show to the world, you have to be the root in the darkness, supporting it."

Having caught his adoptive grandson's attention, the Sandaime gave details. "Most people think we Hidden Villages are composed of showy mercenaries doing heroic, story-inspiring deeds. This is wrong. This is only one aspect of the Village. The smokescreen that hides the secret war we are waging everyday with our competitors. To preserve peace and the prosperity of our citizens, we have to dirty our hands.

"Our economy is built on attracting clients that would hire us instead of neighboring states like Sunagakure. As such, we have to show our talent and efficiency through Chuunin Exams. Our prodigies, like the last Uchiha and Neji Hyuuga are the showcase of Konoha. They are good, some of them will be renowned ninjas… but they won't be anywhere as useful as some other Shinobi the world has never heard of."

The blonde nodded. "The ANBU."

"The ANBU is the elite of the secret army of Konoha, the one never shown to the population. They are many, they are everywhere. Spies, assassins, saboteurs, black ops. They are the reason why Konoha hasn't collapsed, and we must stay weary if we want to secure our place in the ninja world. And this army needs you. An individual who does not kill with fireballs, but with poison. Who steals secrets for us to feed on. Revealing you to the world would be… unwise."

"And the Kyuubi? Aren't we supposed to show we still have it?"

"Naruto, foreign Kage learned of your existence the _very day _I passed the law of silence." It was inevitable. Konoha had been infiltrated, and still was. Just as Konoha had agents in other countries, foreign powers had ears and eyes inside these walls. "We have the Kyuubi and a mature container. Just as Kumo has more than one. They won't expect you to be trained as an undercover agent, and you could be a trump card if the nine-tails is deployed inside enemy borders."

"I doubt the fox bastard would do anything for us." Naruto's head jerked to the side in an uncomfortable manner. "It already gave me the middle finger the moment I was born."

Sarutobi couldn't help but wince. He had been present during the fateful medical examination that had crushed all Naruto's hopes of becoming Hokage. He had had his medic-nins repeat the process twice for the same result.

According to them, the Kyuubi's chakra was leaking into the boy's system, as the Yondaime had probably expected. Sarutobi wasn't the best sealmaster around, Jiraiya having taken the spot, yet he was somewhat familiar with the Uzumaki arrays. Minato had based the Dead Consuming Seal off of the one Kushina had bore; like Kushina's, the seal would allow the Kyuubi to help in case of extreme danger for its host, or to start rampages.

However, the Kyuubi had apparently learned the lesson well enough. Its chakra had deteriorated the tenketsu points to complete uselessness. Even if he could walk, even if he still had the Kyuubi's chakra giving him a healing factor by running in his deteriorated system in small amount, Naruto couldn't produce any chakra of his own.

In short, Naruto was a human born without chakra.

It had been a complete disaster. A demon vessel without chakra, save what the Kyuubi could provide, wasn't as useful as Konoha's secret weapon should have been. Danzo had even proposed to remove the beast and put it into another container, a notion Sarutobi rejected. Konoha in its entirety had a debt toward the blonde's sacrifice, and the Hokage was going to honor it no matter what.

That, and if the Kyuubi could do it once, it would happen again.

The reason behind the Kyuubi's actions had been clear. The demon probably intended to make its host dependent on it to defend himself, increasing its chances of escape. That, or it did it out of sheer spite. Either option was believable.

Sadly, the news had devastated the blonde. Sarutobi had found him crying and depressed, unable to find a reason to move on. The Hokage consoled him and gave him hope.

It was this day he introduced him to the Nindo.

Back when Samurai ruled supreme and the great Sage hadn't taught the world Ninjutsu, the original Shinobi were nothing like the current generation of ninjas. Their strength was nothing greater than what a civilian could achieve, and they served as assassins and spies for the warlords of the era. They were non-entities, nameless shadows crawling in the dark. The documentation on them had been scarce, and few accounts of their prowess had reached their successors.

Fortunately, their Nindo, the code of conduct that guided their discipline, had reached them. It was this Nindo that inspired Naruto to persevere in his efforts.

"Be efficient, be determined, always have a plan," Sarutobi spoke. "Tell me, Naruto, what is your goal?"

The blonde shrugged nonchalantly. "To live up to the Nindo. To prove I am not powerless. To become the best. To kick your ass."

"Then I shall offer you a chance to reach your dream." Sarutobi closed his eyes, inwardly chuckling. "Infiltrators are never allowed to form teams, for they might be identified by turncoats. They are formed under the regime of apprenticeship: a Shinobi of Konoha specialized in the trade will teach you, and you will serve under this instructor until your promotion to Chuunin by said examiner. If you are promoted and impress me, and I know you will, I shall consider you for joining the ANBU, even with your shortages."

Naruto looked like a man with a life-long dream in sight. "How long will it take? To become a Chuunin?"

"As long as your tutor sees fit." Seeing _who _had been selected as the boy's superior, Sarutobi had the feeling it wouldn't take long. Either she failed him, or forced an intense, accelerated training regiment on him. "You will have to endure, I'm afraid."

Naruto winced. "Why do I have the feeling I'm in for a world of pain?"

"You are," Sarutobi chuckled. "Your superior is an excellent kunoichi, efficient, and renowned for her sadism. She's the tough kind of teacher." The very, _very _tough kind. "If you have read the Bingo Book, you should be able to guess who I'm talking about."

Naruto paled in dread. "You didn't."

"Yes. Yes, I did."

At that instant the chosen tutor decided to crash the party. By breaking through the window and landing on the Hokage's desk.

"Head up boy!" A woman shouted, much to Naruto's amazement and Sarutobi's amusement. "I'm your tutor, Anko Mitarashi! I don't have time to waste, so let's take a little, easy, Anko-style test!"

Sarutobi would cherish the memory of Naruto's face until his death.

* * *

_**Forest of Death**_

The Hokage was going to _pay _for this.

Anko didn't like teaching. After her disastrous study period under the snake bastard, she had cast aside any thought of leading a team. She feared becoming a just a tutor that was just as bad as Orochimaru had been, and her personality wasn't a pleasant one. She was blunt, straight-to-the-point, sarcastic, and not a people person.

Yet, the Sandaime had insisted she tried to pass on her secrets and take an apprentice. All those who had been proposed had been wimps who quickly abandoned any idea of working under her.

Naruto Uzumaki would be no exception.

"As I don't like introducing myself to someone I may not keep, here is the deal: I will assess your skills, intelligence, resourcefulness. If you impress me, I keep you, we present each others, and you get to buy me some dango."

"No, I only buy ramen. I don't like Dango.""

"Everyone loves Dango, for Dango is awesome," Anko shot back, glaring at the orange target as if he had just said a blasphemy. His horrible jumpsuit was truly getting on her nerves. Maybe she should paint it red?

"I beg to disagree, ramen gives meaning to an empty life." The runt sighed. "So, since we're in a bad place, as it's called the Forest of D_eath_, I suppose it's a survival exercise, crazy sensei?"

Anko grinned ear to ear. Crazy sensei, eh? He would be hurt a lot. "It's simple, really. I give you a head start of ten minutes. Afterward, I hunt you down, and we beat each other with lethal force. If you survive, I keep you."

Naruto laughed. "And if I... accidentally... kill you?"

"Then you get promoted to jounin immediately." Why did she get the feeling she was going to regret those words? The boy's subsequent smirk was somewhat creepy. "So… three, two, one… go!"

He ran away.

Anko proceeded to patiently wait for the next ten minutes, observing her surroundings for any hint of orange. She hadn't even bothered to read the reports on the teen, and had no idea of his abilities. In her mind, a live test was always better than academy reports. After all, supposedly 'talented' genin generally chickened out quite fast.

Plus, she had the advantage of knowing the forest perfectly. She had impressive knowledge of the fauna and flora, the location of the best hiding spots… as she stared at the big trees, the special jounin truly felt in her territory.

The very second the ten minutes ended, she heard the distinct sound of a projectile flying through the air towards her back.

Spinning on herself, Anko deflected the attack with a shuriken. The projectile, which turned out to be an arrow, landed a few meters away from the Kunoichi, piercing the muddy soil…

Anko suddenly realized it was laced with a dozen explosive tags.

Jumping as fast as she could toward a tree's branch, the lady barely avoided the massive explosion that followed. _Why didn't I sense- oh, I see. He didn't use chakra to activate the tags, he lightened them manually. He must have a lighter on him. _Moving quickly, she approached the area where the arrow came from, and noticed an orange spot on a tree's bark. Wary, Anko discreetly tossed a few shuriken at it, expecting a trap.

Boy, Not only was it not the brat, just a log dressed with the jumpsuit, but resting alongside it was an explosive belt, full of what Anko identified as _dynamite _by scent.

After the ensuing explosion destroyed the nearest trees and causing them their remnants to collapse towards the forest floor, Anko decided to take the blonde seriously from that point on. "I admit, I didn't expect dynamite!" She shouted, trying to goad him into giving away his location. "You do know it's highly impracticable, right?"

Dynamite was the stereotypical mining tool, and mostly used by civilians. Powerful and efficient for large scale destruction, it was however far less precise, handy, and a lot heavier than explosive tags. Most explosion-oriented ninja favored customized tags over such explosives, as they could be just as strong and easier to manipulate. Using dynamite in open air generally didn't work well, in fact, as the force dispersed instead of being focused on a point.

She guessed this genin didn't get the memo. Or didn't have good tags.

Gracefully regaining her footing on the soil below, the kunoichi noticed the strange softness of the ground. Performing a Shunshin and switching places with a remote rock, she managed to avoid death by landmine. _He trapped the whole field? In ten minutes?_

Anko gave into a psychotic laugh. Yes, this would be amusing.

A slight movement in the bushes, and a dagger pierced the air aiming for her throat. Dropping her previous laziness, the female ninja focused and caught the attacker's arm. The runt had dropped his orange jumpsuit for an outfit covering all his body, save the eyes, which were protected by goggles. The outfit's color meshed well with the vegetation, an excellent camouflage.

Alright, he had common sense.

The teen's uncaught arm sprung, a kunai in hand. It was a perfect motion for gutting bellies open. Truly, it was all beautiful: the speed, the gracefulness, the killing intent…

Anko swiftly released his arm and kicked him away. The genin grumbled and silently assaulted her again, swinging his weapons. A wise move, as knives and daggers gave a better reach and caused wounds more easily than punches. Unfortunately for the runt, Orochimaru's former student was far more experienced than he was. With careful, fast strikes to the runt's wrists, she forced him to drop his weapons.

He replied with a Gai-style roundhouse kick to her face.

The sheer force of the surprise attack propelled her away from him, causing her to land on her back. Hitting the soil, the Kunoichi immediately regained her momentum, rolling to avoid a volley of Shuriken. She gritted her lower lip… and tasted her own blood.

As it turned out, the kick had been powerful enough to draw the first blood.

"Alright, no more joking around," she snarled, taking a drop of the crimson nectar and using the Summoning Jutsu. A powerful, green boa popped up in a cloud of smoke and sprung, its maw opened. At the same time, Anko threw a kunai at the speed of the wind, pinpointing the runt's chest.

When she realized she was using lethal force on a _genin_, worse, the Village's _demon vessel_, she cringed…

Only to see the runt pull something incredibly awesome.

First, he welcomed the snake with a _second _roundhouse kick. The poor reptile was sent crashing into a tree's trunk.

Next, still spinning on himself, Naruto dodged the kunai.

Then, he extended his arm and caught the weapon's handgrip _midair_.

Finally, he threw it _right _at Anko's face, who barely dodged. The lethal projectile splintered a tree's bark upon impact.

"Alright, it was… impressive." The kunoichi crossed her arms. That stunt could have killed her, if she didn't have excellent reflexes. "I'm keeping you. No need to continue fighting." He didn't drop his guard. "Drop your guard."

"Sorry, ma'am, I've read your Bingo Book entry. Since I kicked you in the face, I will assume it's a tactic to gut me until the Sandaime Hokage personally confirms I'm now your apprentice and safe from your blood thirst."

Anko gave into a psychotic smirk. "Boy, someday, I will taste the blood from your cute little cheek, and you're never safe from me." Of course, she didn't really enjoy blood… well, not _that _much. It was mostly done for intimidation. "Now, present yourself completely. Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, goal in life…"

The genin shuddered. "You're insanely creepy. And I have seen Gai. Well… I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen, the best color of all, orange, chemistry, weapons, and socializing. I dislike pricks, most bloodline wielders, and laziness. My hobbies are training, pulling pranks, inventing things, botany, blowing up walls, and looking for platypuses. My goal in life?" He chuckled through his hood, the sound a mere whisper. "Kicking everybody's ass, starting with yours."

Anko laughed, amused by the teen's galls. "You still have a long way to go. I wasn't fighting seriously. Scratch that, it was a cakewalk."

"Neither was I… but I admit, in a straight fight, you would have trashed me." He snorted. "Fortunately… I never fight straight, crazy sensei."

"The name is Anko Mitarashi." She was _so _going to give him a horrible nickname. "I like Dango, snakes, sharpened kunai, and I'm starting to like you-"

"Somehow that creeps me out even more."

"I dislike being interrupted," she glared at him, "and I like castrating guys. Especially guys who interrupt me. Hint?"

"Well and duly noted."

"I also dislike… well, jerks, orange, ramen, and socializing. My main hobbies are conducting tea ceremonies and my goal in life is to kill my former teacher with my bare hands."

"Orochimaru?" He cowered at Anko's sudden potent glare. "What? Mitarashi Anko's entry in the Bingo Book mentioned you were his apprentice before he turned turncoat. I can understand how you feel, I've got a homicidal grudge against some demon myself."

He knew of the Kyuubi? Even if a part of her struggled to tell him he would never understand what she had been trough under the snake bastard, another, more rational, pointed out he, like her, had had a seal applied to her body and that ruined most of their career.

For all his nastiness and insanity, Orochimaru hadn't chosen her as apprentice for nothing. She had been the top Kunoichi of her generation, a child prodigy with a great talent for learning. Under the snake's tutelage, she had progressed. She had strived to succeed and surpassed all expectations.

Until he infected her neck with the Cursed Seal.

The shameful taint forever marked her as unreliable, for Orochimaru could always manipulate it from afar. As such, her progress in the hierarchy slowed to a near stall, as a possible unwilling spy for the snake. Worse, the Cursed Seal's recurrent interference with her chakra had forced her to redo most of the basics, to start back from scratch. Her reputation been nearly destroyed and had alienated her from most of the population. In fact, she could count her friends on the finger of a hand.

Their respective situations were disturbingly similar…

"Well…" Anko forced a smirk on her face. "Why not discussing revenge plots around dango? You bring the food, I bring the ideas."

"Deal."

* * *

_**Naruto's Apartment**_

_Name: Anko Mitarashi __(may have aliases; code name is Viper)_

_Birthdate: October 24_

_Gender: Female_

_Age: 24_

_Height: 167 cm_

_Weight: 45.8 kg_

_Blood type: A_

_Occupation: Chūnin Examiner __(Probably cover for other activities; obvious infiltration specialist)_

_Affiliation: Konohagakure_

_Team: Former apprentice of Orochimaru __(suspect links with the ANBU)_

_Ninja Rank: Special Jounin __(Again, probable smokescreen)_

_Ninja Registration: 011226_

_Academy Grad. Age: 10_

_Chūnin Prom. Age: 12_

_Affinities: Fire and Earth_

_Ninjutsu 3.5 __(strange, she seems better at it than Genjutsu)_

_Taijutsu 2.5 __(good, but not exceptional; Lee would kick her ass in a Taijutsu spar)_

_Genjutsu 4 __(haven't seen it in action; then again, Genjutsu doesn't work on me. Lacking chakra has advantages, when illusions work by using the enemy's against him)_

_Intelligence 2 __(I would say 3.5 passing as 2 to be underestimated)_

_Strength 3 __(again, good but not exceptional)_

_Speed 3 __(may be 3.5-4, she has good reflexes)_

_Stamina 4 __(nearly as much as myself? How the hell is it possible? Must investigate)_

_Hand seals 3 __(above average)_

_Total 25 __(more likely around 29-30; probably hides skills for infiltration purposes)_

_Techniques: Snake summoner; poison, weapon, and trapping expert. __(Infiltration expert, good at intimidation, may have experience with torture; who the hell wrote this crappy entry and forgot that?)_

_Personality Assessment: shows hints of Sadistic and Histrionic Personality Disorder. Shows extreme lack of maturity. __(Attention seeker: the fishnet is too revealing, she's letting people see. Obvious bloodlust, probably not faked. May get perverse, sinful pleasure from pain. Must keep distance and show no wound: may try sucking my blood like a vampire. Probably tactic for intimidation. Or she's a vampire. A female snake vampire ninja hybrid.)_

_(Useful notes 1: Show signs of fake cheerfulness. Boisterous façade. Has issues and obsessive grudge against Orochimaru. Must never mention him. Snake fetishist, Dango addict. Must approach Dango stores with extreme caution from now if I want to keep funds. Offer Dango as peace offering, in case of argument, or br_

"So mini-Gai would kick my ass at taijutsu?" Anko asked, making Naruto jump out of his seat in surprise. His chair fell on the ground, along with his pen.

How the hell did she manage to sneak up on him, especially so late in the night? It was the time nearly all his traps were activated and kicking. Worse, the kunoichi didn't even look tired or bothered in the slightest. "Is it usual for you to break into people's houses? Have you no sense of personal space?"

"Actually… _no_." Anko sat on the table, next to Naruto's updated Bingo Book. "I'm your sensei, remember? We're going to spend much time together from now on." She gave him a playful, disturbing smile and adopted a sensual pose. "Plus, many people would be happy to have a hot woman like me seeing them in the middle of the night…"

"Only sadomasochists. You're goddamn creepy. Sorry, I'm not interested." He glared at her. "How did you disable my traps?"

"Boy, I'm the one who invented most of the traps featured in Konoha's books," she boasted. "Of course I can disable them." The kunoichi locked eyes with him. "Explosive traps on the doors, kunai launchers in the corridors, and you reinforced your apartment's walls and gate with iron plaques. And nobody other than you lives there."

"I needed space." It hadn't been hard to buy the building. His personal apartment had been allowed by the Sandaime, and the other residents had preferred moving on elsewhere than share the place with a demon vessel. The price of the building had been reduced to a quarter of it's former value, and obtaining the place under a fake identity had been easy.

As Anko made clear she wasn't going to leave without a visit, Naruto was forced to oblige. While his apartment contained the bar minimum for a living, the others had been developed into different laboratories. One, abandoned, was his former sealing atelier. He had tried to perfect the art, but his lack of chakra and the sheer complexity of the theories behind forced him to give up.

For _the moment_, anyway...

One was mainly remodeled for chemistry experiments. Full of bottles of various chemical concoctions, alongside new types of explosives. Due to the big unpredictability of dynamite and its tendency to explode a bit too easily for his liking, he had tried synthesizing a new, more reliable substance. His pet project, which he called 'plastic', still needed improvement, but would no doubt be awesome. After all, Iwa did manage to create a variant.

His progress in creating detonators had however been nearly nonexistent. He was tired of igniting his tags with a lighter. It was dangerous for his health.

He had also managed to install a zoo… of venomous animals. Mostly spiders and snakes, much to Anko's rage. The blonde hoped to import a platypus one day and extract his venom. He had never seen a venomous mammal before.

That, and a pet guard platypus would be awesome.

Finally, he showed her his wardrobe.

"I see you have a _lot _of suits." Anko's understatement made the teen laugh. He had about fourteen variants of the black working suit Iruka had offered him. Some were customized to allow good camouflage and thermal protection in snow, or deserts. He also had a collection of civilian clothes with hidden pockets, fake priest robes, and an impressive number of disguises. Alongside nearly every weapon in existence. And makeup. And experimental latex masks that _never worked_.

"I have a garden of medicinal herbs, but it is somewhere else," he spoke. "There is also my personal study, with a lot of books on subjects going from warfare to astronomy to maps, alongside a collection of paintings I acquired for reconnaissance purpose. That should be all."

"How the hell did you gather so many toys?" Anko blurted in surprise. "An orphan like you - sorry - shouldn't have that much money. And how did you get a Bingo Book?"

"For the Bingo Book, I found it in the Hokage's tower archives when I was preparing my graduation. I read it, and copied it when I returned home. I remembered a lot of details I missed the first time." Anko's face was priceless. "I theorized the Kyuubi's chakra, outside ruining my life, also reinforced neural connections, giving me photographic memory. That, or I'm just born lucky."

The demon vessel then smirked. "As for the funds… with photographic memory, it was easy to win large sums in casinos under a fake identity. Counting cards is as easy as breathing." That, and poker was a good training for analyzing people's expressions. If her face was of any indication, Anko duly noted that little tidbit for a later use. _I just signed my eternal exploitation. _"I have invented a new ninja art…" He gave her a 'nice Gai' pose.

"Cashjutsu!"

The pun was so horrible he could hear Anko's teeth grinding against each other. For some reason, it amused him to no end.

"It seems I will have to update your sheet already," Anko smirked, taking a scroll in her pocket and handing it to him. "Here is your official Genin degree. Only I and the Sandaime have access to it, until you get registered in the Bingo Book. Some information will probably be forged in time for greater security."

Naruto took the scroll, opened it, and read.

_Name: Naruto Uzumaki_

_Codename: Atlas_

_Birthdate: October 10_

_Gender: Male_

_Age: 15_

_Height: 166 cm_

_Weight: 50.9 kg_

_Blood type: B_

_Classification: Demon Vessel of the Kyuubi_

_Affiliation: Konohagakure_

_Team: The wonderfully awesome Anko-sensei's apprentice. Maybe Uzumaki clan._

_Ninja Rank: Genin_

_Ninja Registration: 012607_

_Academy Grad. Age: 15_

_Affinities: none_

_Ninjutsu 0_

_Taijutsu 3 (shows Chuunin-level skills)_

_Genjutsu 0_

_Intelligence 4 (good trapper, has common sense, tricky)_

_Strength 3.5 (shows sign of extreme training)_

_Speed 3.5 (good agility, momentum and reflexes)_

_Stamina 5 (can pack a lot of blows without showing signs of wounds; has healing factor, which according to the Hokage only kicks in near death)_

_Hand seals 0_

_Total 19 (Chuunin level threat, ruthless, efficient, and tricky)_

_Techniques: Excellent at camouflage, trapping, planning. Freakish good aim with a bow and thrown weapons. Experienced knife fighter and good, bastardized Taijutsu style. Damned Gai. Explosive user. Still has to assess infiltration skills. Who cares about chakra anyway? Poisoned kunai are cooler._

_Personality Assessment: Ruthless, sarcastic, carefree. Shows no problem with attempted murder, may have lack of empathy. Shows some pragmatism and viciousness. Good self-control and patient. Intelligent. Complete opposite of Academy reports._

_(Added notes: Atlas shows a ramen addiction, and obsession with the color orange. Highly competitive. Must kick his ass regularly for the sake of it.)_

"Atlas, eh? Nice codename." He bugged on a detail. "May I ask you a question, before I go celebrate this magnificent moment by painting the Hokage monument in orange?" He raised his head.

"What is this _Uzumaki clan_?"

* * *

**_A/N:_** thanks ABitterPill for betaing and helping work on the concept.

Yes, another Naruto story. It should avoid many of the errors I did when I wrote my first fic, Echoes (new chapter is halfway done by the way; the story should end after two arcs with the possibility of a sequel), in term of narrative and the like.

This story is an adaptation of my 'normal Naruto' challenge. As the one writer who took it hasn't updated for a while, I guess I got tired of waiting. This story is both shorter (it won't exceed sixteen chapters of this length, I believe) and more... light-hearted. Instead of being a weak guy taking a level in badass over the course of the story, Naruto starts awesome and gets even more awesome. I have always wondered how a 'mortal, but no _mere_ mortal' guy would be in the Naruto-verse. However, due to his shortcomings, do not expect godmode Naruto. Efficient Naruto yes, but not godmode.

This Naruto is fifteen as the beginning of the story, whereas everyone else keep the pre-timeskip age. It was mostly done to give him a welcome boost in term of strength and speed. The story is rated M for language and later events. I do have a pairing in mind, but I keep the surprise.

Finally, would you kindly review, please? It helps with the motivation.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2:**_

_**Orange Mayhem **_

It first started with Team 10.

Chouji hadn't been hard to defeat. Naruto simply gave him a bag of chips laced with sleep-inducing substances and it was over within minute.

He offered flowers to Ino, under a disguise. "They come from Sasuke-sama," he affirmed, as she practically ripped them from his hands. She had inhaled them… and fainted.

Shikamaru surrendered, wisely deciding fighting was both pointless and dangerous when Naruto pulled out a knife.

Then, Naruto went after Team 8, which proved to be a tougher target.

Shino had spotted the infiltrator in less than five minutes, asking why he was being stalked in a dark alley. Unfortunately for the Aburame, the blonde had already closed the gap by the time he had finished his statement. The insect wannabe got surprised when Naruto knocked him out with a handkerchief wet with chloroform. As expected, the boy's over reliance on chakra-draining animals proved to be his downfall when facing a chakra-_less _opponent.

Ambushing Kiba had been a bit difficult, as Akamaru apparently spotted the perfume Naruto used to mask his odor. Fortunately, Kiba's cockiness made him ignore the dog's barking until it was too late.

Naruto used the occasion to try his anti-Inuzuka tear gas. The new product, extracted from chili, of all plants, had proved itself efficient in irritating Akamaru's underdeveloped tear ducts. With goggles protecting his eyes, Naruto had fought blind and confused opponents, with predictable results.

Hinata simply dropped on the spot upon recognizing Naruto. "It was… anticlimactic," he whispered upon transporting the girl to the jounin bar.

Then, he went after Team 7.

Naruto simply had to pull the same trick he used on Ino to neutralize Sakura. Her teammates were harder to deal with.

Keeping Sasuke for the very end, Naruto focused on his last teammate. The guy, called Sai, looked like an average raven-haired guy with black eyes and black clothes and black boots and probably black underwear as well. Yes, he was an emo. As if Sasuke wasn't bad enough. _I've just insulted all emos in the world..._

Naruto, however, discovered two creepy elements on the guy: first, he always smiled, disturbingly so, and the genin found nothing on him. No academy report, no family, no background, _nothing_.

As Naruto never ever saw him at school and that the Sandaime placed him on the last Uchiha's team, it was pretty obvious he was either an ANBU or someone equally dangerous. Direct fighting was out of question. Hence, Naruto took the reasonable option.

"Hey, Sai-kun, if I told you your sensei sent me to kidnap you, would you mind playing along?"

_**The Uchiha Compound**_

Sasuke wasn't happy with his new team.

He had ended with a fangirl. The worst of the lot. Sakura was completely useless, and Kakashi wiped the floor with her at the very beginning of the bell test. She showed no prowess, no bloodline, no skill. Sasuke didn't give her a week to live outside the walls.

Sai was incredibly annoying. When the guy's first line was to call him a duckling with a little penis and then explain he thought it was good for socializing, Sasuke realized he wasn't well in his head. Fortunately, he was competent, showing surprising agility, intelligence, and an interesting technique. Sasuke would stay wary of paintings from now on.

Kakashi may be an incredibly powerful ninja, but he was ridiculously lazy and late. Did he really have to arrive three hours late every single time? Worst, he didn't teach them any worthwhile techniques, simply 'teamwork exercises'. It had been three days and the team had made no progress.

Sasuke shook his head, as he sat in his empty kitchen. The group had passed the bell test only because they had managed to work together and elaborate a make-shift plan ten minutes away from the time limit. The Uchiha didn't give the team a month before it fell apart.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when someone threw a gas bomb through the kitchen's windows.

Sasuke quickly escaped into his house's hallway, only to be welcomed with a punch in the face. His eyes hurt, and he found himself crying. _Him_, who thought he had already wept enough for an entire life. Struggling with his bad eyesight, The Uchiha attempted to defend himself, but his temporary disability and the size of the hallway put him into a disadvantageous position.

The enemy was a black blur, the movements fast and flawless. Sasuke struggled not to groan, as the attacker pierced his skin with what looked to be Senbon. "Who are you?" the prodigy snarled, feeling dizzied. _Shit, the Senbon are poisoned_. "What do you want?"

"I hate your guts, Sasuke," a familiar voice replied, before knocking him out with a last Senbon to the neck. "It's as simple as that."

_**Jounin's Bar**_

"Told you he would beat them all," Anko gloated to the other Jounin. "Now give me my cash!"

"That's… disappointing," Kakashi Hatake spoke, appraising his bound and gagged genin with a sharp glare. Well, except Sai, who wasn't even restrained. "Wait a second, why are you free?"

The Root agent's smile didn't waver. "Uzumaki-san told me he was abducting me on your orders, so I decided to play along. I wanted to confirm the claim and rescue my teammates in case of danger, and fighting him was more trouble than it was worth. Staying free and observing was the best solution." _The power of diplomacy!_ Naruto inwardly mused.

"Seriously, Asume-sensei, couldn't you find another bet?" Shikamaru whined at his team commander.

The Sarutobi shrugged his shoulder, freeing his other students. "I thought you would defeat him. I was planning on using the money from the bet to invite you three to the city's best restaurant."

While Chouji instantly forgave his teacher, Ino's expression was one of pure betrayal. "You… Asuma-sensei, you wagered on us?"

"Anko bet Naruto could capture all of you, so each of us wagered our team would be the one to take him down." Kurenai shrugged, freeing the drowsy Kiba. "I didn't expect him to attack you one on one. Or deal with you so casually."

_Good thing Gai wasn't here to bet, _Naruto nodded to himself. Lee would have trashed him, and defeating Tenten would have been difficult. Neji, he could deal with, but the Hyuuga's teammates were his worst opponents to fight against. Rock Lee was faster, stronger, and insanely durable. Tenten had a bigger arsenal and had knowledge of nearly all of the blonde's tricks, having helped design most of them.

"That… that hurts…" Kiba cried, Akamaru growling. "What the… hell was that, Naruto?"

"Ah, just one of my newest anti-_you _weapons," the teen shrugged, keeping another tear gas bomb in his pocket, in case Kiba were to lose his temper. His 'civilian' clothing, consisting of orange pants, a vest of the same color with black sleeves, over a black shirt, was full of hidden weapons. Naruto didn't believe in risk, only in preparations. "Sorry for you and Akamaru, it was just business. I would have had to hurt you pretty bad otherwise."

"You cheated," Sasuke rasped, freeing himself on his own. His voice was full of rage. "You took us by surprise and poisoned us."

"I'm a ninja. I've never learned fair-play."

_**Dango Restaurant**_

"So…" Anko trailed off. "Do you want your share?"

"Nah, I want info." Naruto briefly glanced at the Dango in front of him, wondering if offering it to Anko would tame her violent urges. "I'm rich enough to buy anything I want. I didn't go through the trouble of 'capturing' nine genins for cash." He crossed his arms. "What. Is. The. Uzumaki. Clan?"

When he had asked the question for the first time, the infiltrator got no answer. So he kept pestering his mentor during the training regiment until she gave in, trading answers against his help in her latest scheme. Naruto had reluctantly agreed, as the other solution was beating her in a serious fight and extracting information the hard way, which was out of his reach for the moment.

Naruto could barely hide the wounds under his shirt. Sarutobi hadn't lied when he had presented Anko as a tough teacher. Their 'duels' had boiled down to the snake lady knocking him out in one blow. As expected, Naruto couldn't resist chakra-enhanced punches, and the jounin was way out of his league once taking him seriously. The Uzumaki's best hope was staying at distance and employing extreme overkill against her with explosives.

So far it hadn't worked.

"Alright, alright… I'm speaking." Anko glanced around herself, as if she was being spied on. "It's classified information," the jounin whispered on a low volume. "S-Rank information. I didn't get many details from my source, so you will have to deal with vagueness."

"I'll figure it out. I have spent years trying to find anything on my family without any result." He lowered his gaze. The Sandaime himself had refused to talk on the subject. "It is about the Kyuubi? Something I shouldn't hear?"

"I'm not even sure you're related to them, so it's only guesswork." The crazy jounin pushed away her dango, making Naruto shiver. Was it so important she was willing to interrupt her meal? "The Uzumaki weren't really a clan. Most clan have at least one hundred members active at a time, some like the Hyuuga reach five hundred. The Uzumaki were never more than ten at any point in their history."

Anko cupped her hands together. "From what I've learned, they were a family of expert seal-crafters, pioneers in the world of Fuuinjutsu. If my source is to be believed, they designed the original arrays used for demon sealing."

Naruto nodded. "I suppose the Yondaime was inspired by their works?"

"He more or less copied them," Anko spoke. "Simply understanding their art is already a feat in itself, let alone replicating it. Some of their seals could create artificial whirlpools they commanded to defend their Land, the Land of Whirlpool. Yes, really original."

"Never heard of that country."

"It doesn't exist anymore." Anko shrugged. "The Land of Whirlpool was a small island with a Hidden Village called Uzushiogakure. If the name doesn't ring any bell, it's because it was notoriously isolationist. The Uzumaki themselves were a clan among many living there, if a bit recognizable. One day, back in the era of the Shinobi Wars, the whole country was destroyed. As in, it sank."

"How?" How could it be possible to sink an _island_? "An attack by a demon vessel?"

"Who can tell? The survivors were scattered and most didn't remember how they managed to survive in the first place. I bet it was some kind of sealing experiment that went horribly wrong. The country was destroyed, the Uzumaki Clan wiped out, and it faded from memory altogether. The arrays causing whirlpools are still active, allowing us to guess the location of the sunken island… and that's all I know."

Naruto began to put the pieces of information together. If the Uzumaki did design demonic seals, the secrecy could be justified. Why not inform him of his lineage then? Something was wrong. "How did you get the info?"

"From an old friend of mine, living across the sea. I asked for info after… after my old teacher went crazy. Short story, he gave me something that makes me unreliable in the eyes of Konoha. It's why I've an entry in the Bingo Book, in spite of not being a missing-nin... in case I have to be taken down. I thought sealing could cure me." Anko growled, and Naruto guessed it was a subject not to be opened. "You want to meet her?"

"I doubt anyone else would answer my questions."

"Point taken. Well… I can arrange a meeting with her. I owe you one for making Kakashi drop his perverted book for a minute."

Naruto grinned ear to ear. That's why she proposed the bet, the cash was a bonus. "And what is the name of this woman?"

Anko chuckled. "I tend to call her 'bloody flower', but she prefers Mei Terumi."

The teen blinked. "Mei Terumi? _The _Mei Terumi? The S-Rank kunoichi from Kiri? The only person recorded with two Kekkei Genkai?"

"And my old pal back in my Chuunin Exam," Anko smirked. "I've kept in contact with her for years. If the Hokage allows me, we could pay her a visit."

_**Hokage's Office**_

"Denied."

"Why, old man?" Naruto fulminated.

"Because you have already been selected for a mission." The Hokage shrugged at his adoptive grandson's crushed expression. Anko simply nodded, accepting the situation. "One of the utmost importance."

Naruto calmed himself and deepened in his seat. "B-rank?"

"A-rank." The blonde's jaw dropped. "You might be surprised I chose a genin to carry out this mission, but the reason is, you have all the skills needed to succeed, and I trust you. Of course, you will be put under supervision."

Sarutobi crossed his fingers. "You have all met Mizuki, I presume?"

"The Academy teacher? Yeah, never appreciated him." Anko narrowed her eyes. "I haven't seen him for a while. He has been missing?"

"No, killed." Sarutobi replied. "The ANBU was watching over him for months, due to suspicions of betrayal. As it turned out, he was a mole working for a mysterious employer, alongside a fake genin called Kabuto Yakushi, whose current location is unknown. Mizuki managed to trade away something before his client had him murdered to cover its tracks, making it pass as a suicide." The Hokage's face turned serious. "Blood samples, and documents."

"Of the Academy's students?" Naruto guessed, piecing back the puzzle. "I see, he got them during medical examinations of students, or upon giving first aid after physical training. Including Sasuke and Hinata, I presume?"

"It's obvious the mastermind wants to get his or her hands on Kekkai Genkai, or at least analyze them," Anko whispered. "You want us to investigate?"

"No. The ANBU and our Hunter-nin division are already on the case."

"Then this is about the documents?" Naruto guessed. "What did Mizuki steal exactly?"

"Classified information on the ninjas currently working as the Fire Daimyo's bodyguards, the Twelve Guardians. Information which, in the eyes of the Daimyo, does not exist." Sarutobi lit his pipe and let the smoke fill his lungs. "I believe Mizuki's employer is planning to assassinate our main source of funding, and I have a pretty good guess why."

Sarutobi lowered his head. "In one week, the Fire and Wind Daimyos will have a summit in the Land of Rivers, and will sign a treaty confirming our countries' alliance by strengthening our economic exchanges. Mizuki's employer, a Hidden Village most likely, probably intends to have our Daimyo killed before it can happen. We need to capture the assassins to learn their affiliation."

"Since changing or increasing the escort would alert the employer Konoha is aware of the scheme, this leaves us with one solution," Naruto whispered. "Infiltrating the summit."

"Yes. You will serve as support for the ANBU officially deployed and try to assure the safety of the Daimyo." Sarutobi blew out a cloud of smoke. "I want you to focus on the investigation. Try finding who the assassins might be working for, what are their means. Check the food and drinks, the background of the staff, everything. The danger will end after the summit, or so I hope, but meanwhile you will stay under the radar. Two of our operatives will serve as back-up." The Sandaime locked eyes with Naruto. "As this is your first mission as infiltrator, you will be asked to carry on the simplest, less dangerous tasks. You will obey every order given by the other operatives. Understood?"

"Understood. Do I have the authorization to use untested yet lethal weapons in case things go horribly wrong? Please?"

"I don't micro-manage."

_**The Third Training Ground**_

"Lower, faster, target the eyes." Anko's words resonated in the meadow, as they continued their knife battle. "The breasts work too. The neck is a easier target. The jugular, cut the jugular."

"Believe me, I'm trying. You're hard to kill, crazy sensei." While Naruto was proficient with a knife, he couldn't match Anko. Worse, she wasn't attacking, simply defending, as if her student was a minor annoyance at best. He attempted to kick her legs to make her trip, without any effect.

"Smart move," Anko noted, disarming him with a precise swing. "You're good. With enough time, you may become a challenge."

"Nice, except, how am I supposed to keep up? You use chakra to increase your speed."

"If you have a better reach and corner me well, my speed won't be enough to defend myself effectively. Think like a predator, student. Attack the prey at its weakest. Flank, kill, and don't speak. Be silent and target the vital areas as soon as possible."

Naruto frowned. "Jackass, I heard you coming. Get out of the bushes."

The person grumbled, and obeyed. The blonde instantly recognized him. "Sasuke… what are you doing here?"

The Uchiha glared at him, and took the time to politely nod at Anko. "I want a rematch. Straight fight this time."

"We're ninjas, we never fight straight," Naruto sneered, Anko staring at the scene in silence. "If you can't understand that, you better drop your current job and turn civilian, bastard."

Sasuke scowled, managing to keep his calm. "Why do you hate me?"

That struck a nerve. "Figure it out yourself."

"You disliked me the moment we met at the Academy," Sasuke spoke. "We never exchanged more than insults, and you said yourself you hated me. I do not remember doing anything to you, so I would like to know why."

Naruto growled. "Isn't it obvious? I hate people like you, who act almighty because they're the scions of clans, have shiny bloodlines and never struggled to earn anything."

Sasuke's jaw clenched. "You have no idea what you're talkin-"

"Ah yeah? It took me years to master my Taijutsu moves, while it will take you, what, seconds, to learn them with your Sharingan!" Naruto spat. "Your family is made of thieves!"

He saw the punch coming, but didn't move fast enough to dodge.

Tasting the blood shedding from his lip, Naruto glared at Sasuke. "You have made the dumbest mistake of your life." He punched Sasuke's nose, and engaged him into a vicious fistfight.

Well, it was a fistfight until Naruto kicked the Uchiha between the legs. Then it devolved into a non-family friendly brawl.

They fell on the ground, kicking, punching and biting the hell out of the other. On one hand, thanks to his Chakra enhanced blows, Sasuke was physically stronger and somewhat faster. On the other hand, Naruto had far more experience in brawls and kept his ground.

In the end, Anko stepped in and knocked them out.

Upon awakening, Naruto found himself bound and tied to a stump. He glanced around himself, and locked eyes with Sasuke, trapped in a similar position. Anko was observing them with a serious expression. "Hey, crazy sensei, release me!"

"No." The snake lady narrowed her eyes. "You two are going to stay there until you're calmed. And don't make the wounded puppy eyes student, I _invented_ the trick."

Naruto sighed as she left. "I hope you're happy, bastard," he whispered to his fellow prisoner.

Sasuke snorted. "You insulted my clan, what did you expect, dead-last?"

"For you to accept the truth. You belong to a clan of leeches."

The Uchiha sneered. "You aren't the only to have had it rough."

"Oh yeah? I'm born without Chakra. I'm never going to breath fire like I've seen you doing." Sasuke's face was priceless. "What did you expect? Yes, I spied on your training. I wanted to take you on _long _before Anko asked me to. To prove myself I could beat you in spite of my shortcomings."

Sasuke's stare turned dark. Naruto didn't manage to read his stoic expression. "I see."

"No, you do not see. You cannot understand."

Sasuke took his breath. "I understand, because I have a similar goal." He stared into the horizon. "There is a man I want to kill. Someone I fear, someone so strong an army isn't enough to stop him."

Naruto understood immediately. "Your brother?"

"He _isn't_ my brother," Sasuke spat with anger, immediately calming himself thereafter. "That man is a monster. A psychopath who massacred his own parents and left me alive because I wasn't worth his time."

The bitter tone left Naruto speechless. Never before had he considered things under that angle. "I… I thought you weren't present. Info on the massacre has been scarce."

"I was present, and too weak to make a difference." Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "_Run, foolish brother. Cling to your life. Hate me. One day, you may be worth the time of a day_. He told me that, and I survived. I trained, and endured, vowing I would avenge my family one day." He stopped. "Why am I telling you this? You never had a family to lose."

While the last jab hurt, Naruto ignored it and focused. "I… well, I guess it's the tiredness that freed your tongue." With a thrust, the blonde let the restrains fall, much to Sasuke's shock. The orange genin laughed. "What can I say? I'm good at escapes."

He walked away to recover his knife, still laying on the ground. "Now, let's cut your ropes." Once done, the Uchiha let go a shiver of happiness. "So?"

"So what?"

"So do you want your rematch?"

Sasuke, for once, smiled.

_**Ichiraku's**_

"Friendship at first punch?" Ayame blinked.

"Pretty much," Naruto shrugged, whereas Sasuke simply snorted. "Think, Ayame-chan: you and Teuchi-san are the only people that haven't, at any point in your life, kicked my ass. Even the old man got around it. I believe I have sadomasochistic tendencies." Both the waitress and the Uchiha shuddered. "Not in _that _way, damn it!"

"You will have to forgive me if I have doubts," the waitress replied. Hard to blame her, both genin looked like _hell_. "You do enjoy getting hurt."

"It helps build pain tolerance." He searched into one of his pockets, finding his modified military pill. Swallowing it, Naruto ignored the bitter taste and Sasuke's inquisitive gaze. "I can't freeze in pain mid-battle. I've tried using morphine and… it ended badly. Cut myself without even realizing it."

Ayame shrugged, muttering curses under her breath. The Uchiha glanced at Naruto. "It's not a normal soldier pill."

"You think, genius? It's one of my self-made customized brands. It speeds up the activity of my cells, curing in minutes damage that would take hours to heal. Side-effects include an increased need of nutriments and limited hypoglycemia. Aka, I starve and I need to eat." He swallowed his ramen. "Standard soldier pills have better results, but unfortunately don't work on me. Yes it sucks."

Actually... not that much. Naruto hadn't been entirely honest with Anko: most of his funds weren't gained by cheating at poker, but by selling new brands of medicines to civilian companies. The genin had then proceeded to become a key investor of a large, reliable firm, which indirectly paid for most of his expenses.

"I see. Don't you see medics? They may have better results... although I doubt they could fix your ugly face."

"I hate medics." After all, they were quite rejoiced upon outlining his special 'illness' to the Hokage. "I prefer to depend on myself in a battle. Call me a loner if you want, but it's how I am. I don't go to hospitals any time I'm crying, unlike a certain someone..."

Sasuke nodded, willfully ignoring the last jab. He understood the blonde, having a similar work ethic himself. "You would be a good hunter-nin."

Naruto appreciated the compliment. "I would, if I could run as fast as most ninjas. Nah, I'm gunning for the ANBU."

The Uchiha blinked. "The ANBU?"

"Yep, it's impossible to enter it with my particularity. Who cares? I'll make the impossible possible. I will make the world give up on making me give up." He smirked at Sasuke's astonishment. "What do you want, my motto is be efficient, _be determined_, always have a plan."

Sasuke snorted. "My own is shorter: kill _him_."

"... I'm going to enjoy saying this: you aren't going to succeed. Remember, I kicked your ass by taking you by surprise and our 'straight' fight had the same results. Yes, I used tear gas each time, but frankly, don't expect he who must not be named to fight fair."

"I would love to improve, but my teacher is incompetent and my team weird." Sasuke sighed. "Why can't I get real training?"

"Oh, I can provide you training." Naruto grinned sadistically. "I have some _youthful _genin to present you."

_**Forest of Death**_

"I'm going to kill you, jerk."

"Later, jackass," Naruto replied, dodging a kunai aimed at his head. Tenten didn't waste time, throwing wave after wave of weapons at the duo. Sasuke somehow managed to dodge them, making Naruto wonder if Tenten was getting sloppy. She had overall one hundred percent chance of hitting her targets. Naruto could avoid them thanks to refined reflexes and experience, but the Uchiha had no such excuse.

In the end, the blonde tossed a smoke bomb at the kunoichi, allowing the duo to get away. They fled and hid in the brushes. Naruto opened his bag, drawing two of his green forest camouflage uniforms. "Take one. I'm not letting her beat you... I reserve the pleasure for myself alone."

"When you said we were going to do target practice, you didn't say _we_ were the targets," Sasuke grumbled, reluctantly switching clothes. "Why is she so mad at you? Is she your old girlfriend and you dumped her?"

"Well, I pranked her _hard _after my graduation and she needs to vent her frustration." He locked eyes with Sasuke and blinked. "Hey… your eyes are red."

The Uchiha's Sharingan swirled, and the prodigy smirked in realization. "I understand why I could see the weapons coming, now…"

"I suppose your eyes kicked in when keeping track of hundreds of weapons became necessary. Couldn't survive on your own, loser?" It made Naruto jealous. Kekkei Genkai were real game breakers. "Even your super-reflexes won't be enough to keep up with Tenten-chan if she unleashes her big techniques. You better take her down by surprise, while I dispose of Neji. I'm pretty much his natural predator. This will leave Lee to deal with. With a few tricks, we might take him down."

"_Might_?"

"Let's be honest: in a straight fight, nothing short of a jounin can beat Lee once he gets serious. Fighting dirty is our only hope." He noticed Neji walking in the distance. How fortunate, they were outside his Byakugan's range. "Let's go."

As Sasuke left to deal with Tenten, Naruto, his outfit meshing with vegetation, skirted Neji, going at great lengths to stay outside the Byakugan's vision. Once behind the Hyuuga, Naruto seized a kunai, strapped it with explosive tags, lit them with his lighter, and aimed at Neji's head.

As expected, the Gentle Fist prodigy saw the sneak attack coming and dodged, leaving the weapon to destroy a nearby tree. "Your tricks are getting old, Naru-" Neji shut his mouth the blonde closed the gap between them. The teen's punch barely missed, engaging the Hyuuga in close combat.

Of course, this was suicidal. The Hyuuga's style was feared for a reason, and engaging them in Taijutsu duels was begging for a trashing. With a few strikes, Neji could cripple a ninja's Chakra circulatory system, turning enemies into paraplegics.

Too bad for him Naruto's Tenkentsu never worked to begin with.

Neji's entire fighting style was centered on depriving the enemy of chakra. Of depriving one of something Naruto never had and lived without. He was, to put it bluntly, the worst opponent for a Hyuuga to face. Save the Kaiten, none of their techniques could harm him.

Of course, Neji wasn't dumb enough to rely only on his Byakugan. Gai had taught him a variant of the Gentle Fist to defend himself, adding in versatility. This fighting style focused on targetting the pressure points of a body and the nerves, which had the potential to immobilize an opponent. Unfortunately for the Hyuuga, he wasn't as proficient with it than with the Gentle Fist, and lacked Naruto's superior physical strength. Neji was a speed demon, good at dodging and unleashing fast precise strikes, but had little strength and endurance, even with Chakra. One punch from the blonde would knock him out cold.

"I've heard you humiliated Hinata," Neji whispered, going for the neck. Naruto dodged, listening to the noise in the background. Apparently, either Sasuke or Tenten had brought explosives. "The Hyuuga are in uproar. Some say this is unforgivable."

"Kicking your butt regularly wasn't enough to piss them off?" Neji didn't take the bait and stayed focus. "Crap, why don't you go into stupid rages anymore? If you say anger management classes, I give up."

"I guess I learned the lesson." Neji executed a roundhouse kick. Naruto lowered his torso, avoiding the attack. "Hanabi was crying for your blood."

"If she's weaker than you, which is a feat in itself, I've nothing to fear. Let them come, I can beat the whole Hyuuga clan by myself." Naruto caught Neji's wrist. The pure horror on the Hyuuga's visage was priceless. "Face it, blank eyes, you've lost."

Pulling Team 9's genius closer, Naruto smashed his fist into his nose. The blow was brutal enough to knock Neji out.

"Well, that was short," Naruto muttered under his breath, his head tilting to the side. A very bruised Sasuke was walking forward, carrying an unconscious Tenten in his arms. If the cuts on the Uchiha's skin were to be trusted, it had been a close call. "Who brought the explosive tags?"

"She did. I used a Fire jutsu to counter them, and managed to knock her out from behind." Sasuke deposed her on the ground and massaged his neck. "This leaves the spandex guy, right?"

"Don't worry, he will announce his presence. Dynamic entry…" Naruto shuddered. Speaking of Lee, why hadn't he shown himself? The crazy genin wasn't the kind of guy to leave his teammates at the mercy of anyone.

Naruto get his answer when Lee was tossed at their feet, defeated and unconscious.

Then, a grinning, friendly ninja landed in front of the duo. "Dynamic entry!" Anko chuckled, cracking her knuckles. "Want a _real_ challenge, student?"

"Oh shit," was the only thing Naruto found the strength to say.

In the end, the rematch only lasted a minute. Anko used her Chakra to move at incredible speed, faster than Naruto's own eyes could follow. He barely had the time to blink when she closed the gap between them, threw him on his back, and pressed a kunai against his neck.

A serious Anko was a terrifying opponent indeed.

After she ordered them to leave, Sasuke and Team 9 wisely decided to obey. Not that they didn't hesitate to rescue their rival. The blonde simply said he would be fine and used to it.

"You look like a beaten puppy," Anko told him bluntly as she helped him stand. "Do you hang out with Gai's team that often? Their training regiment is hellish."

"It's nothing like yours," Naruto shrugged. "I figure you have a good reason to interrupt our session? How long have you been spying on me?"

"Outside of congratulating you for making the Uchiha open to you? Yes." Which confirmed it: she had been spying on them all along, and Naruto never sensed her. Frightening.

She searched under her jacket and tossed Naruto a letter. "Here is the 'biography' of your alias, with forged documents. You better get into the role."

"I'm a consummate actor," the teenager replied. "And the operatives?"

Anko grinned, as two people walked toward them. Naruto carefully examined them with a sharp glance.

The first was a sick-looking man with brown hair and eyes. His skin was pale, and the dark markings under his eyes implied recurring insomnias or troubled sleep. The way he was moving put Naruto on edges. The guy was deliberately attempting to appear sloppy, but the way he was carrying himself clearly told Naruto he wasn't as frail as he pretended to be. The man had opted for grey clothes, befitting of an average civilian.

The second operative was a woman, with long, beautiful purple hair reaching her waist. It would be impractical in fighting situations, for a enemy could grab them, but Naruto had the distinct feeling it was intentional. Faking a weakness to control the pace of a fight. Her eyes were as black as night, her skin pale, her lips red and sensual. The typical infiltration kunoichi.

"Atlas, meet Gecko and Cat. Gecko, Cat, this is my apprentice Atlas."

"Charmed," Naruto bowed slightly.

"The pleasure is all mine," the woman softly replied, whereas the man gave the blonde a sharp nod. "Viper spoke highly of you."

"Really?" Anko scratched the back of her head with a grin. "I don't remember. Anyway, we're leaving tomorrow, so you better say goodbye to your pals, student."

"Of course," Naruto replied, mentally running a checklist of people to inform.

_**Land of Grass**_

After crossing the bridge, Kabuto finally caught sight of the base.

The iron, grey, massive facility was big enough to house multiple installations, the genin thought as he approached it. The organization had invested millions to build this research center, hoping to mass-produce supersoldiers, away from the inquisitive watch of the Hidden Villages.

Kabuto stopped in front of the main gate, holding his briefcase with utmost care. He had gone through much trouble to secure these blood samples, and his bosses wouldn't appreciate it if he were to lose them. If Orochimaru liked the medic enough to offer him a second chance, Sasori had no tolerance for 'imperfection'.

"Welcome home, Kabuto-san," Kimimaro politely welcomed him. The Kaguya looked a lot healthier than the last time the medic had met him: on an hospital bed. The latest operation might have finally cured his tuberculosis. "Orochimaru-sama is waiting for you."

Following him inside the grey, dimly lit corridors of the facility, Kabuto couldn't repress his curiosity. "I see you feel much better. Science Team succeeded in curing you?"

"The serum distilled from Karin's blood had results," Kimimaro replied coolly. "Science Team has hopes of mass-producing it in time. The process is currently too costly."

"And Karin herself?"

"The process is painful, but her loyalty to Orochimaru-sama is greater," he shrugged. _Oh, so they haven't put her in a test-tube yet, _Kabuto mused. Then again, her blood was the only useful thing about her, alongside her sensor abilities. He wouldn't be surprised if their bosses suddenly decided she would be better as a guinea pig than free.

They entered a large blue hall, illuminated by electric lamps above. It was equipped with nine screens, multiple computers, and chairs. Kabuto's two bosses were waiting for him.

"Welcome home, Kabuto-kun," Orochimaru smiled, his yellow eyes moving from the spy's face to his briefcase. The Sanke Sannin was elegant, with his yellow ensemble, tied by a purple ribbon. "I see you succeeded in your mission. Congratulations."

"Of course he has," Sasori grumbled with a gruff voice, waving his iron tail. It was hard to see his features under all the black robes and clothes covering his puppet body. Kabuto would give everything he had to discover what was hiding underneath. "I wouldn't have had him blow his cover for nothing."

Kabuto nodded and opened the briefcase, revealing five bottles of blood with names written on them. "Here are the samples you asked Mizuki to gather. As demanded, I 'rewarded' him accordingly."

"Oh, no doubt he has enjoyed his payment," Orochimaru joked with sadistic glee. "Akatsuki will be pleased. Take a rest, Kabuto-kun, you've earned it." The Snake Sannin dismissing Kimimaro and the medic with a hand-wave. They closed the door behind, leaving the duo alone. "Hinata Hyuuga, Naruto Uzumaki, Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame and… Sasuke Uchiha." With it, he should be able to isolate the gene he was looking for…

"I see you didn't let go your obsession with the Sharingan," Sasori whispered, moving to activate the screens, "this will cause you trouble in time." It was the first time they attempted to replicate the Daimyos' long-distance communications with satellite dishes. They should transmit information to another, allowing instant discussion unable to be intercepted. Unlike Pain's hologram communication, this network could transmit information as complex as maps and data.

As the plan's deadline was getting close, the need for better coordination had become imperative. The construction of a common database and remote control of installations would prevent resources from going to waste and the loss of critical intelligence. In the war to come, Akatsuki would keep a decisive advantage over the more archaic Hidden Villages. They needed to be a step away.

The screens brightened one by one, each picturing a member of Akatsuki. Only the ninth one didn't work. The quality was quite bad, and images distorted from time to time. Still good for a first try. "Akatsuki: online," Sasori whispered, testing the microphones.

"It's working!" Deidara chuckled, the mad bomber grinning like a child. "And I thought it would never start up."

"Told you Science Team doesn't have vapor for brains, Deidara-senpai!" Tobi replied. The masked man gave everyone the nice guy's thumb up. "Tobi looks evil on the screen, doesn't he? We are evil masterminds plotting an evil plan to take over the world!"

Sasori snorted. How Pain could have allowed that clown to join Akatsuki would remain a mystery for the ages. Orochimaru looked positively more amused, yet not to the same extent as Kisame. "It would be even worse if we used a uniform," the shark-man chuckled. "Why not a black robe with red clouds on it?"

"Giving a way for Hidden Villages to identify us? Yes, marvelous idea," Kakuzu deadpanned, rolling his green eyes. The bounty hunter was a consummate professional, in stark contrast with the more easygoing members. "Nobody should be aware we work as a single organization, remember?"

"Enough."

The voice was faint, a mere whisper, and yet enforced full silence. Leader's bright eyes locked with Orochimaru's. The Snake Sannin didn't falter, in spite of the enormous difference in power between the two. "We will begin with your report, Orochimaru."

"Kabuto safely brought the samples of Konoha's most promising genin to us, after disposing of Mizuki." The Sannin didn't like loose ends. Mizuki would have talked if captured, and didn't bring the organization any benefit. He wasn't even worth being turned into a test subject. "With Itachi's genetic material and his brother's, reproducing the Sharingan is within our grasp."

"It has been two years and Science Team never made any progress," Itachi spoke, his Sharingan blazing like an inferno. Orochimaru was secretly aware the man's sight was deteriorating, which entertained the Sannin to no end. "Why should it be different with my worthless brother's blood?"

He had a point, even if the snake hated to admit it. Itachi's sperm and blood samples hadn't been enough to clone him, as the process was still imperfect. Artificial insemination of abducted women had given birth to complete failures, as none of the children created exhibited the Sharingan gene. Like with Kimimaro, the lack of other clansmen didn't allow the organization's scientists to isolate the gene. Orochimaru believed he could, within a generation or two, succeed at created a healthy clone of Itachi or produce a new Uchiha breed.

Unfortunately, he didn't have that much time. Leader wanted results, and patience wasn't his main virtue. The plan's deadline was getting close, and an army of mass-produced super-soldiers, loyal to Akatsuki, would secure the organization's domination over the world.

Orochimaru almost regretted staying with the organization. He wasn't happy to report to anyone, and being forced to work on a few subjects he personally disliked. Fortunately, Akatsuki balanced the disadvantages by giving the Sannin access to unlimited resources and funds, knowledge beyond his capabilities, and many interesting test subjects. As a bonus, Sasori was a good fellow to hang with, and a scientist _nearly _as competent as his partner.

Of course, Orochimaru would _still_ backstab him within the year.

The Sannin was bidding his time. The organization would allow him to attain his goal much faster than on his own, and he had secretly started the construction of Otogakure. With the blood samples, the only reason he was still in Akatsuki was the help they would provide in the destruction of Konoha. "With your brother's genes to complete the DNA sequences, Itachi-kun, isolating the Sharingan gene should be workable. The enzymes produced by the Cursed Seal can transmit it to human subjects, allowing the creation of a backbone force within two years."

"The plan's final stage, is scheduled to start in three years," Zetsu pointed out, his two voices echoing. The most mysterious, yet versatile, member of Akatsuki rarely talked in meetings, except to give his own report. "This gives us plenty of time."

"I'm afraid the schedule may have to be advanced," Itachi cut in. "One of our bases in Kiri, Ushi, has been wiped out by the new government. All the staff is presumed dead or captured."

"Again? That's the third time since Terumi's takeover," Sasori rasped. "This leaves only Talon?"

"I don't give it two months before Mei storms it," Kisame chuckled, speaking from experience. He had fought her more than once. Turning turncoat hadn't lessened the respect he had for her. "She's like a shark, she never lets her prey go. She won't stop until we've been kicked out of her land."

Orochimaru honestly couldn't understand the Godaime Mizukage's obsession with destroying the organization. True, Akatsuki had exploited the civil war to abduct Kekkai Genkai wielders, yet, such determination to eliminate them, no matter what the cost, was disturbing. The Sannin had the distinct feeling Leader had wronged her fiercely.

Leader narrowed his eyes. "It may be wise to completely retreat from Kirigakure in case the new government tracks our last base down. Kisame, Itachi, you will use Talon as secondary headquarter until all the staff and equipment are moved out and shipped to base Alpha, in the Land of Grass. Kirigakure's influence across the sea has been crippled for a decade, you should face no obstacle."

"And the coast's bases?" Sasori pointed out. "Kiri may locate them, and they won't have enough firepower to resist a flotilla. Considering Terumi's grudge, I have little doubt the Hidden Mist will take actions in zones outside its jurisdiction."

"I have no fear security will deal with isolated agents. A flotilla near the coasts could threaten Konoha and cause a diplomatic accident. I have taken dispositions to prevent such a risk. We have nothing to fear." Leader locked eyes with Itachi. "Talon will be active as long as we haven't secured the Sanbi. How long will it take for you to capture it?"

"One week," the Uchiha replied. "We have located its hideout, and a container has been selected." _One loyal to Akatsuki_, went unsaid.

"Good. Sasori?"

"As explained in our latest meeting, the petroleum extracted from the Land of Earth proved itself a far more efficient energy source than batteries," Sasori added. "We have already shipped most of it to the Land of Iron, with our new generators. The new fuel should secure our technical superiority over the Five Nations when we start the plan."

Kakuzu nodded. "I have received your package. Our factories have increased the production by fifty percent, and the Land of Iron's leadership has been dealt with."

Zetsu smirked savagely, showing his white, sharpened fangs. "The Daimyo was… tasty."

Orochimaru grinned back. "So Konoha and Kumo are next?"

"I shall deal with Cloud and A personally," Leader cut in. "Suna will take care of Konoha for us. Next subject: Hidan."

"As duplicating his immortality jutsu has proved itself impossible, I have been using him as a test subject for the new brand of Cursed Seal, currently with an assessed one hundred percent chance of killing the subject." Orochimaru chuckled. "The results have been impressive. I am sure Hidan will be an efficient bio-weapon once deployed against our enemies."

"Keep him restrained under the research center until we have use for him. We can't have a superpowered lunatic running amok unless we want him to. Konan?"

"Hanzo's remnants have been crushed. Amegakure is ours now and forever, Leader." Orochimaru was almost surprised she could talk. This woman never spoke, unless commanded to. Somehow, her face was vaguely familiar to the Sannin, even if he couldn't put a name on it...

"Perfect. Deidara, Tobi, you will go to the Land of Rivers and proceed with our next operation. Lit the fires of war anew."

"Yes! Stuff blowing up, Deidara-senpai! We're going to redecorate the Daimyo's ballroom, with tomato juice!" A pause. "I'm off my meds."

"Shut up, Tobi! It's not stuff, it's art!"

Sasori looked downright murderous, throwing away all composure. "This is the stupidest thing you have ever said, Deidara. Art is everlasting, not… not _ugly_."

"TAKE THAT BACK!"

"Orochimaru." The Sannin straightened up, Leader's chilling tone silencing the bickering artists. "You and Sasori will oversee the transfer of Kiri's staff to our bases in the Land of Grass. Take the time to send me the psychological reports of the Kyuubi's container, so I can update our Bingo Book."

Orochimaru decided he couldn't let the opportunity to destroy Konoha pass. "I would like to take over our operations against the Hidden Leaf, Leader. I have a score to settle with the old senile Hokage."

"You have my authorization and my blessing. The rest of you will continue with their former missions." Leader shrugged. "I look forward our next meeting. Akatsuki: offline."

The screens shut down.

"I better get going, Sasori." The faster Konoha in ruin, the better. Orochimaru exchanged glances with the puppeteer, upon closing the door. "See you around."

Once convinced he was alone, Sasori reactivated the connection. The picture of Pain's face appeared on the screen. "Is it wise to let him run some of our operations, Leader?"

"Orochimaru is bright, but not as bright as he thinks he is. I will tolerate his treachery as long as he stays useful, but once he becomes too much the hassle, I will terminate with him personally." Pain narrowed his eyes. "Back to the important matter. I've been informed the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki will be deployed soon. Do you believe he is aware of his lineage?"

"My agents were unable to tell." Sasori waved his puppet's tail. "What is the matter? Blood is thicker than water. If he hasn't found out yet, he will soon."

"This might prove to be... problematic," Leader whispered. "Keep an eye on him."

"Of course, Leader." Sasori lowered his head. "Our will shall be done."

_**Tenten's Weapon Shop**_

"One week, maybe more?" Tenten asked, as Naruto presented her his newest invention. "You want to test this 'plastic' in the meantime?"

"The occasion might present itself." The teen grinned ear to ear. "That, and I'll take the 'Red Dragon'."

"Your names are so unoriginal and ridiculous," Tenten replied with disapproval. "'Flamethrower' sounds better to me. I have finished designing the fireproof armor by the way." She tossed him a blue, large bag. "It's inside."

Naruto examined the object, which was lighter than expected. Opening it, he found it far larger in the inside than the outside. "Sealing?"

"My newest invention: the miracle bag," she chirped. "I believe it would be a good alternative to the sealing scrolls, which needs to be activated with Chakra. Sasuke used the few seconds I needed to open the scroll to strike me in the back." Ceasing her little monologue, Tenten smiled. "This bag is made for you, Naruto: you can pull a whole armory inside."

Naruto gasped. "You made that for me? After the orange spand-"

"Do not finish this sentence," Tenten warned. "And yes, it's a gift from one friend to another." She adopted a serious, business-like face. "You're our best customer. Think of it as a reward for all the money you spent here."

"Tenten?" He hugged her, making her squeeze. "You're awesome." He stopped, realized what he was doing, and released the surprised girl. "Sorry, couldn't stop myself."

"Nah, it felt good, actually." Tenten sighed briefly, before regaining her composure. "Naruto? Don't screw up."

"I won't, no worry. I'm a professiona-"

"Dynamic entry!" Lee and Gai shouted, upon loudly opening the door. Gai's teeth were shining so much Naruto felt his eyes burn at the sight. Neji was following, unfazed by the craziness. Naruto stared at them, then at the wall.

"Holy cow… you guys used the door! You didn't smash the wall!"

"Naruto," Gai gave him the nice guy pose. "Good luck for your mission! Let the fires of your youth burn!"

"Naruto-kun, I have faith in your success!" Lee interrupted himself, remembering something. "What is your mission, by the way?"

"Oh, bodyguard duty for a civilian." Understatement of the year. "Nothing hard." The teen scoffed. "By the way, I apologize for my sensei defeating you. She's too crazy for her own good."

"Your sensei was such a youthful and powerful lady, it made me want to train even harder!" Lee clenched his fist and pointed it at the sky. "I will train until I can bring down the skies themselves! I will run around Konoha one hundred times!"

"Good Lee! We will do it two hundred times!"

"Yes Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"It's your fate to succeed," Neji told Naruto, as his teammate and teacher started hugging each others, much to everyone's horror. "There is no other way."

"Fate, my ass! I will succeed because I can." He gave a tap on Neji's shoulder. The Hyuuga briefly wondered shrugging it off, until deciding against it. "Take care of them for me, would you? Oh, and in case I'm not home when they happen… good luck with your Chuunin Exams. Not that you need it." The blonde gave them the nice guy pose. "You rock!"

Later, Naruto went to the Ichiraku's. The owners generously gave him rations of ramen they had prepared for him, and he thanked them profusely. The blonde took the time to see Iruka, who wished him good luck.

"Escort mission? Small world. Who is your client?"

"Some old drunk called Tazuna," Sasuke snorted derisively, as the two walked in the streets. "Worst first mission in the world."

"Capturing Tora was better, in your mind?"

"… you met that monster too?"

"I saw her near a roof. I believe she was contemplating suicide." Sasuke's glance almost made the blonde laugh. "Look, if I was in her place, I would do the same. I felt _bad_ when sensei and I brought her back to the Daimyo's wife. I wondered if I wasn't complicit in blatant acts of animal cruelty."

"It's a cat, it can't contemplate suicide…" Sasuke massaged his temples. "Why am I having this weird conversation in the first place?"

"Because we're going on our first serious missions, you don't feel hanging with your team, and I'm th-"

He saw it.

Inside a cage, on display. The ultimate death machine. The killing engine. The terror of the natural world. Fifty percent mammal, fifty percent water fowl, one hundred percent _awesome_. The final product of evolution stared at Naruto, whose own eyes burned at sheer magnificence of the creature. Possessed by a power beyond his comprehension, unable to keep his tongue in front of such beauty, the blonde opened his mouth.

"One _million _ryo on the platypus!"

Sasuke's jaw dropped. "You... you're that rich?"

"No, but I always wanted to say it."

* * *

**_A/N: _**thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

The one million ryo moment is a shout-out to Austin Powers. Yes. Really. Actually, expect a LOT of shout-outs.

If you wonder how Naruto can beat his entire graduation class, remember this: he ambushed them one on one, took them by surprise, exploited their flaws, and just plain cheated. That's pretty much his MO. In a straight fight, he doesn't do as well.

Sasuke and Naruto aren't friends... yet. Right now, they're more akin to rivals, but there is too much animosity between them to call that a friendship.

I at first wanted to put the Akatsuki scene on a Oil Rig, before realizing maybe it was too much for the setting's technology. Oil Fields will show up later, however.

Cat and Gecko are, as you may have guessed, Yugao and Hayate. Some might wonder why the Sandaime would send a genin on a A-rank mission... but remember: no one in the Village trusts Naruto more than Sarutobi himself.

Would you kindly add a review before leaving? It helps with the motivation.


	3. Chapter 3

First, thanks all reviewers and story followers.

Some asked questions about the Akatsuki and the more 'modern' take on them. I admit, although we all know Pain's true plan wasn't the same as the one he preached to his minions, I never understood why we never saw Akatsuki acting as what they were pretending to be, a mercenary force for hire secretly undermining the Hidden Villages. Iwa and other countries hired them, but we never saw such deals on screen.

And I never understood why, after sending Itachi and Kisame to catch Naruto and had Zetsu spy on him, they did nothing during three years. Surely, sending two teams while Naruto was walking across the continent, with only one S-Rank ninja as escort, wouldn't be hard, instead of letting their future prey strengthening himself. Heck, Pain himself could have dealt with both his mentor and Naruto without any troubles. Or Tobi could have just teleported with the boy when Jiraiya wasn't looking and kept him alive until they were ready to extract the Kyuubi. Or they could have captured Gaara when he was twelve years old and hated by everyone. I mean, if you follow canon, Tobi was able to enter Konoha and observe Kakashi with no one knowing it. Imagine how much damage he could have caused, beside the Kyuubi attack.

Of course, we all know if Tobi had just bothered to warp Naruto, we wouldn't have had a shounen series and awesome fights, but hey, I always wondered what would have happened had everyone been cheating their way to victory instead of fighting one on one and making big philosophical speeches. Atlas is built on that idea.

So I'm making Akatsuki active from the get-go instead of having a timeskip happening. That, and... to be honest, they have incredible resources that are underused. Sasori has invented the ultimate form of brainwashed moles, Zetsu's clones can copy anyone and replace them without anyone knowing it, Deidara can NUKE entire towns with his C3, the Cursed Seal can make normal people into super soldiers, if they survive... I'm simply having the villains AND the good guys using their powers outside battling, to further their agenda. As for the technology angle, I think an organization trying to take over the world should be preoccupied with having a technical advantage over competitors.

And of course, the good guys will use their abilities to their fullest potential.

LincDawg asked if Naruto could access the Kyuubi's chakra... the answer is yes. Yes he can... but since his chakra network is underdeveloped, the process is... really nasty. And painful.

Also, Cat said Naruto is hypocritical about criticizing the Uchiha's advantages while ignoring the limitations. This is completely true. It's mostly his issues talking, and lack of knowledge. In his mind, the Sharingan is just 'instant shortcut', and he's unaware of its costs and limitations.

As for the Satellite dishes... it IS actually used in canon for the Daimyo's conference, before the Shinobi War Arc. I think chakra is involved instead of satellites, but, they exist. Kishi was always a bit vague on the level of technology. There are radios, TV, satellite dishes, but no car nor primitive rifles. The entire setting is anachronistic.

Also, about why Neji's attacks didn't have effect on Naruto's organs... it's a latter plot point. But hint: he's holding back.

Thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

* * *

_**Chapter 3: Atlas Shrugged**_

"Student."

"Yes, crazy sensei?"

"Why did you bring a fucking platypus with you into the Hokage's office?"

Naruto smiled. "I named him Perry. Like pretty." He seized the animal by the belly and gave the presentations. "Perry, meet crazy sensei. Crazy sensei, meet Perry." The animal stared confusedly at Anko. "He's timid, but Perry is a good boy. He doesn't bite people… yet. Right hand guard platypus, anyone?"

"Mmm… interesting choice of pet," Cat noted, as Gecko gently took the platypus from Naruto's hands, petting it. The creature wavered its tail in appreciation.

And the Sandaime? Trying his hardest not to laugh.

Anko massaged her noose. The whole situation was humiliating. "A Doberman, I can tolerate, it's nasty, vicious, and cool. A tiger? Badass. A snake? I would adopt you on the spot. A _platypus_? Are you kidding me? No student of mine shall be seen fighting next to this… this… this _cosmic joke_."

"You don't see the big picture, crazy sensei." Naruto shook his head in disappointment. "Perry is a killing machine. It's the proof nature can be awesomely generous."

"It's a four-legged duck that can't fly. It's the proof nature has a sense of humor."

"Here again, you can't see." Naruto intertwined his fingers. "Perry can swim like a duck, bite like a snake, has the strength of a bear and the agility of a lizard. The animal reign's most awesome abilities were condensed and combined into the ultimate reptilian slash mammal slash bird. We humans rule only because platypuses are too lazy to take over."

As Anko's expression clearly told she wasn't convinced, he grinned and put his ace on the table. "Male platypuses produce a venom triggering all the pain receptors in a human body without killing it. A man once compared the pain of having an arm amputated as a cakewalk before the refined agony of platypus venom."

"Boy, I'm aware of that, but let's be honest, platypuses aren't really the best animals to fight with, unless you expect your enemies to die of laughter. You aren't bringing it on our mission."

"A platypus is too rare to be ignored," Gecko added, the hybrid creature purring in his arms. "If people see you with one, you won't stay under the radar for long."

"Killjoy." Of course, Naruto was well aware of the importance of namelessness. To be an infiltrator, you had to be a nobody. A platypus would be akin to painting _'hey, I'm strange' _on his back. He had just brought his pet to screw with his team. "Alright, Perry, you can't come. Old man Sandaime is going to take care of you."

"Yes… it shall… prove to be… interesting…" The Sandaime took a pause to regain his breath. It was easier said than done, as the temptation to laugh returned each time he stared at Naruto's new animal companion. "You four have all memorized the identities we forged?"

"My name is Kaguya Sumeragi," Anko started, bowing slightly. She had adopted a white and yellow dress of silk, fitting of the rich noblewoman she was impersonating. She had let her hair down, dying it black, and in Naruto's own opinion, it had made her looks go from 'sexy' to 'beautiful'. Her blue contact lenses added something ethereal to her aspect. "Second daughter of a rich merchant of jewels with the Daimyo's favor. Father sent me to the court to find a husband."

"Kaname Ougi, personal bodyguard of lady Kaguya," Gecko, alias Hayate Gekko, faked a thuggish expression. He was wearing a white iron armor covering his entire body, and wielding a longsword. His hair was red, and his eyes golden. With the sadistic smirk on his face, anybody would mistake him as a psycho for hire. "I don't say a word unless allowed to. Come from Kusa's surroundings. Stole a sword and later an armor after killing the former owner in his sleep. Became a bodyguard to get money and kill people legally. I'm new in the lady's service"

Cat, alias Yugao Uzuki, took a step forward. She was wearing a grey iron mail, black sleeve and pants. She was carrying a sheathed katana on her back. Her hair were now black, as were her eyes. Make-up made her look older than she truly was. "I am Kallen Kozuki, m'lord. Come from good mother Land of Earth, mercenary. Daughter of a blacksmith, took the sword when I realized I was good with it. Got recruited by the old lady 'cause I learned to read and write. Been in her service for a year as bodyguard."

"My name is Lelouch Lamperouge, prince of the far away country of Britannia! I'm secretly the S-rank missing-nin Zero, and I have an awesome plan to take over the Land of Fire with my Sharinghax-"

"Atlas."

"Just messing with your mind, old man. The name's Suzaku, sir," Naruto spoke with a coarse, foreign accent. Sarutobi had to admit, the boy was good. "I'm the lady's personal servant. Do all the jobs she wants me to do. I've been with the old lady Sumeragi for two years, after she found me in the street in her town. I was taught to read and write to make my work easier."

The blonde had taken a red shirt, and blue pants, as his own disguise. He was wearing his orange jacket over these clothes, just in case. He had dyed his hair black as well, put black contact lenses in his eyes, and covered his whiskers with makeup. Modifying his appearance was child's play for the demon vessel.

Sarutobi nodded. "The Daimyo alone is aware of your true identity. Viper will serve as your liaison with him, as her identity allows her to communicate with him without arising suspicion. Viper will serve as the team leader for this operation and coordinates your efforts. Deadly force is allowed. Do not blow up your cover unless it can't be avoided. Understood?" The four nodded. "Then dismissed."

As they left him alone, Sarutobi crossed gaze with the platypus. The creature placidly stared back, before shyly backing down into a corner.

"Britannia… I wonder where he found that one…"

"In one of the few non-porn novels Jiraiya wrote during his service."

Sarutobi chuckled, unfazed by the man's visit. "I have a door for a reason, Danzo. You should try using it one day."

"My apologies, Hiruzen," the Root commander replied with a neutral tone. They were odd friends, yet Sarutobi had to admit the man's eternally stoic attitude was incredibly disturbing. "The matter at hand is of the highest importance. My agent has sent me his report. I have had the confirmation Kabuto is an agent of Akatsuki."

The Sandaime Hokage gave no sign he was concerned in the slightest. He seized the platypus and put it on his lap. The animal purred in appreciation, as Sarutobi started to caress his back, mostly to relieve the tension. "Has your… agent… learned what they intend to do with the samples? Or the details of their operations against us?"

"Their science division intends to replicate their bloodlines and create supersoldiers. To what end…" Danzo trailed off, Sarutobi picking the little hint of disappointment in his voice. His spy had infiltrated Akatsuki's core ten members for years, without gaining any knowledge of their main plan or the Leader's identity. "As for their current operations, my agent is not privy on the details. Unfortunately, Pain is… quite secretive."

"Paranoia is to be expected from the leader of the missing-nin syndicate." Not just _any _missing-nin syndicate. _The _missing-nin syndicate.

Konoha hadn't been aware of Akatsuki's existence until one year after the Uchiha Massacre. The members went at great lengths to make sure nobody discovered they worked as a single organization, destroying any evidence that could blow up their secrecy. Jiraiya himself had no knowledge of it, and Danzo was affirmative: Akatsuki had been working in the shadows for _at least _a decade.

According to the agent's reports, Akatsuki was at its core, an alliance of ten S-rank missing-nin united under one goal: to take over the world, although some members were in it for personal reasons or to access the organization's resources. The agent had infiltrated this main committee after a previous member, Hidan, proved himself to be a liability and was promptly relegated to guinea pig status for his trouble.

This was only the tip of the iceberg. Akatsuki had hundreds of bases, facilities, and hideouts implanted across each corner of the continent, thousands of agents ranging from weaker missing ninjas to bankers to power brokers, and financial resources as vast as one of the five main Hidden Villages. Truth to be told, Akatsuki was, in practice, a Hidden Village… one without frontier, banner or a public face.

The fact they managed to infiltrate Konohagakure enraged Sarutobi to no end. What was counter-intelligence doing, drinking coffee? "Still nothing on Pain?" The elusive leader of Akatsuki was a mystery that worried the Hokage. Anyone able to impose his authority over nine of the worst criminals in history was a threat. A _large _threat.

"Beside his codename? He participated in Ame's civil war and personally killed Hanzo and his private guard. On his own."

"It would take an army. My own students barely survived an encounter with Hanzo." No, scratch that. It wasn't an encounter, but a trashing in its purest form. They didn't land a single hint on the Salamander. For a single man to kill him _and _his elite guard…

"He did it alone, or so I was told. I find this doubtful. Some elements hint Pain may not be a single person, but a group of individuals sharing the name. Mere guesses of course. Sasori, Zetsu and maybe Kakuzu are the only people that might have answers to our questions, and none are willing to talk. Akatsuki's leader is a secondary problem right now. The protection of the Daimyo is more pressing, doubly so since Akatsuki plans to destroy us."

"I know." If Akatsuki was indeed going to attack the Daimyo summit, their goal was clear: exacerbate tensions between the two nations and spark a new Suna-Konoha war. Diplomatic relationships with the Kazekage were good on the outside, yes… and Sarutobi wasn't fooled. The Yondaime was getting desperate to find funds due to his conflicts with the Wind Daimyo, and he would go to any length to get them.

Causing a conflict wouldn't be a big deal for him, and Akatsuki would no doubt gain some profit from a war.

"Hence… I have to ask." Danzo sat in the chair in front of the desk, glaring at Sarutobi's own seat. The war hawk dreamed of taking over Konoha since the Sandaime's election, and never bothered to hide it. But he was loyal to the Hokage first and foremost. He had the option of furthering his ambitions at the sake of the Village's prosperity, yet didn't betray his former teammate. Danzo narrowed his lone eye.

"Why did you send two unstable, unreliable loose cannons on such a crucial mission?"

Danzo didn't need to raise his voice to make his displeasure clear. Sarutobi scratched the platypus' back, surprised to discover it had fallen asleep. "Anko and Naruto are more competent than you think. You underestimate them. We already had a conversation on the subject, if I remember."

"You overestimate them," Danzo shot back. "Mitarashi has psychological baggage rivaling Hatake's, is unreliable in teams, and her Cursed Seal makes her a potential sleeper agent for Orochimaru. Uzumaki has the ability to destroy mountains and none of the wisdom needed to handle that power properly. He had luck you defused the situation with the clans he insulted, after going along with Mitarashi's stupid bet. Hiashi and Tsume are bitter. It was unnecessary and stupid of him to attack their children and not expect retaliations. He is a mere _child_."

"Here again, you make the mistake everyone does with Naruto: there is nothing _mere _about _that _child. You should have understood with the Forbidden Scroll debacle." Danzo groaned. "I admit he has flaws. He has to mature, yes… but weren't _we _rash back in our youth? In time, he will become one of our best ninjas. I have faith in his potential."

Sarutobi intertwined his fingers. It was a tic of him, the gesture he abused to patronize people. Naruto had managed to mimic it to near perfection. "As for Anko, she has proved her worth a hundred time. Tsunade herself confirmed the Cursed Seal cannot allow information transportation or remote control. She completed nearly a hundred A-rank missions, two S-rank, and spent two years as a cover agent in Kumo and completed her work flawlessly. What other proof do you need to finally accept her promotion as ANBU?"

"I won't reconsider as long as Orochimaru breathes. She's a time-bomb, Sarutobi. And if by some miracle, you were right all along, it doesn't change much: Mitarashi is psychologically disturbed. How can you trust her to teach our best weapon?"

Sarutobi glared at his former rival. "Best _soldier_." The icy tone made Danzo scowl. "What were my other options? Tenzo? He has been missing in action for a year, probably dead. Kakashi? He admits himself he couldn't use the Sharingan for more than ten minutes, let alone suppress the Kyuubi. Jiraiya? We both agree this would be unwise. As far as I know, Manda is the only summon that has a reasonable chance of restraining Naruto if the Kyuubi takes over."

Danzo snorted. "She is of poor influence on your best _soldier_." The war hawk took malicious pleasure in stressing the word.

"On the contrary, he is of good influence on her." Sarutobi chuckled lightly. "Don't you understand? They are incredibly similar and both outcasts in their way. Misery loves company. The way I see it, they will be an excellent two-man squad in time."

"They won't stand a chance against Akatsuki." Unless… doubt took over Danzo's heart. "What do you have in mind, you crafty monkey?"

"Oh, nothing." Sarutobi grinned ear to ear, deeply unsettling the Root's leader. "Nothing at all."

* * *

_**Land of Rivers**_

The travel hadn't been much the hassle. Due to their cover and to avoid being identified, the group had to move the civilian way: on foot. It suited Naruto. He wouldn't have to run after his allies, unable to jump from tree to tree as easily as ninjas and monkeys.

Both Gecko and Cat had been pleasant company. Gecko was a stoic, calm and composed man. Naruto had yet to see him raise his voice. He was quite friendly, in an aloof way. Cat was warmer, obviously a good friend of Anko, and closer to Gecko, if their respective body language was to be believed.

"Nice tattoo. How long have you been in the ANBU?"

Naruto snickered at the trio's expression. "Yes, I can see it. People with this special tattoo can see it on fellow wearers. Otherwise, a powerful illusion makes it invisible, unless it's a genjutsu expert. Pity it doesn't work on me."

Anko immediately understood. Genjutsu manipulated the target's own chakra flowing through the brain to trap him in an illusion. However, as Naruto had no chakra at all, he was completely immune. The snake lady made a mental note for further use.

"I've been in it for a year." The woman stared down at him, her face neutral. "Now, I will have to kill you for learning my secret."

The tone was icy and the killing intent was impressive. Except it was nothing compared to Anko's. "Good bluff, but I don't buy it. Killing a team member in the middle of a mission is unwise, and I'm pretty sure if you're in the ANBU, you're trusted enough not to be a double agent."

"I don't have to be a double agent to kill. Maybe I just hate you and we're looking for an excuse. Maybe taking you out of the city was part of a much grander plan to have you _'accidentally' _killed without the Hokage executing us as punishment."

Naruto laughed… and then stopped, once he realized Gecko and Anko's expression was deathly scary. Gecko looked like a iceman, and Anko…

Anko was simply grinning. Which was very, **very **creepy.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's not funny."

A sword flew out of Cat's sleeve.

"Wait, wait!" Finally understanding he was in it for his life, Naruto brought out his knives. "You want a fight, _bitches_? Bring it!"

Cat let go a cheerful laugh.

As Anko roared in laughter and Gecko smirked, Naruto realized he had been conned. "You…" he pointed a finger at Cat. "You evil mastermind! You improvised on the fly!"

"You still have much to learn." Truth to be told, Yugao was enjoying herself a lot. Anko had been right: teasing the kid was a wonderful pleasure. Of course, the snake lady's idea of teasing was… unique. "Do not, under any circumstance, reveal everything you have learned about someone until the person has earned your trust. The fact we're on the same team doesn't mean you're safe. Backstabbing is all too common in the Shinobi world."

"I didn't, I just-"

"What if _I _was a double agent?" Gecko spoke. "Cat might be trusted for being chosen as ANBU… and me? You don't know who I am, my story, my abilities, and my allegiance might not be unquestionable. I'm untrustworthy. Letting me know Cat is an ANBU could have had tragic consequences down the line."

"I…" Naruto closed his mouth. There was nothing more to be said. He should have been more careful. "I fucked up. Again," he added under his breath, to himself.

Naruto was unaware his three teammates picked up that short monologue. Anko decided to have a mentor talk with him, Gecko narrowed his eyes, and Cat couldn't help but try to salvage things.

"Making mistakes is human, Atlas," she said softly. "You're very good for a newbie. Take it as a chance to improve. And… don't swear."

"Right." Naruto gave her the Maito Gai pose. "Let the fire of-"

"If you say _youth_, you're dead, student." Anko sighed. "Look, it's your first mission, so it's expected for you to screw up. We infiltrators do no start paranoid, we _become _paranoid. You must remember the single most important piece of advice I can give you: unless you can trust people with your life, never tell them everything you know."

"Roger that."

"Good." The snake lady grinned. "Of course, it's not important. Everyone here has read your dossier and learned what you're capable of."

Naruto froze. "It must have forgotte-"

"Atlas is a skilled herbalist, poison user, chemist, trap maker, weapon designer," Cat began. "Atlas is an explosives expert, created new medications, and shows signs of having photographic memory. He's good with Taijutsu, and his cooking is so bad it can be considered a biological weap-"

"Stop," Naruto interrupted, palming his face. "Do not get to that part, please."

* * *

_**Land of Rivers, Tanigakure**_

Tanigakure couldn't be called a Hidden Village.

Hidden Villages were glorified fortresses. There were civilians inside, yes… and many, many ninjas. Konoha was a base of operation, with natural protections, impressive security, omnipresent ANBU… the place was a military dictatorship and reminded it to all visitors.

Tanigakure was the complete opposite.

As the name of 'Village Hidden in Valleys" implied, it was placed in a valley, at the convergence of _four _rivers. The land was fertile, the grass green, rice fields surrounded the city, and bridges were omnipresent in the streets, necessary to cross the numerous streams. The roads were paved, the town in itself was small, and mostly composed of pagodas of varying height. The biggest, which housed the local Daimyo and welcomed Fire and Wind's courts, had thirteen floors, a majestic brown and black tower.

The architect was compensating for _something_, that was sure.

The group received a welcome befitting of Anko's fake rank. Noblemen came at her like hungry flies, servants arrived to attend to her needs, and guards recorded her and her followers' faces, names and features. Naruto was promptly forgotten after Anko's absentmindedly asked him to run errands for her, which he quickly interpreted as reconnaissance. As he saw her enter the main tower with her two bodyguards, the blonde memorized the faces of every single one of the snake lady's suitors for further investigation.

Putting his photographic memory to good use, Naruto went on to observe the streets and key points of the city. The location of every bridge, the plan of the town, the places to avoid…

From small talks with the inhabitants and shopkeepers, Naruto learned why Tanigakure was so different from the usual Hidden Village. Unlike Konoha-nins, the city's ninjas were a police force of sort, in charge of maintaining the peace and protecting the country against invasions. Taxes on the civilian populace was the main source of funding, not mercenary work. Tanigakure was the central source of food and agriculture on this side of the continent, bringing economic prosperity to the land. Rivers had been invaded only once and benefited from the protection of Fire and Wind, so militarization wasn't necessary. In fact, the populace considered it a waste of time and money.

After one hour of reconnaissance work, Naruto's tranquil walk was interrupted by a scream. He turned around in an instant, his instinct kicking in. The blonde was welcomed by a surprising, and distasteful sight.

A teen. Black hair, his face against a wall. Two thugs beating him up. No police nearby to rescue him and prevent Naruto from hesitating between maintaining his cover and doing the right thing.

Hey, he was Naruto Uzumaki. He could do _both_.

Punching the first guy from behind, Naruto knocked him out in one blow. The other thug stared at the newcomer, froze for a second, and received a knee hit to the genitals. The teen seized his hair and tossed him to the ground, proceeding to beat the crap out of him. The blonde consciously faked a crude, unprofessional trashing. He would look like a heroic, normal bystander. Not a ninja undercover.

"You're alright?" Naruto asked, offering a hand to the victim once his attackers were out of action.

"Thanks," the guy replied, accepting the help. Nearly all his face was covered with bandages, save the left eye. The teen had a deep voice, and wore a grey outfit. "Looked at them the wrong way, and they didn't like it. Thanks, mister…"

"Suzaku," Naruto spoke, upon shaking the guy's hand. "I'm a servant of some crazy noble lady from Konoha."

"The name is Dosu." The teen's gaze grew cold. "You work in the tower? For a tree-hugger? Must be tempting to pour poison down her throat."

The venomous tone didn't disturb Naruto, at least outwardly. After a short second considering the answer, the infiltrator shrugged. "Oh, I would _love _to, but got to earn money, and I'm not good at many things."

"Eh, you're good at fighting." Dosu snorted. "Hey, want a drink? My treat, gotta be even with you."

"I'd love to, but I've got work to do," he replied politely. "Going to get beaten up if I'm late, or fired. Or both."

"Ah." Dosu gritted his teeth, before loosening the pressure. "Well, it was a pleasure to meet you. I got the feeling we're gonna meet again soon."

* * *

_**Naruto's room**_

His bedroom was huge.

Alright, technically, it was _Anko's _bedroom… and bigger than Naruto's own apartment. There was a lot of space, splendid tapestries, mirrors, private bathrooms, king size beds… As 'personal servants' of Anko, the rest of the team had graciously been allowed to stay in the suite, as long as they slept on the ground.

"Stupid guy," Naruto muttered, writing files on the tower staff for Anko to read. "Moron."

"I'm sure whoever you're talking about would _love _to hear you."

Naruto froze, as Anko walked in front of him, grinning. The blonde massaged his temples. "I trapped the door. Locked it. Trapped the windows too. Added microphones, just in case. So _why do you keep_ sneaking up on me?"

"I'm that good," she shot back, crossing her arms. "You're talking about Gecko? Look, I know it had had to hurt your pride, and took it badly due to your over-competitive streak, but Cat is one of our most promising ANBU and Gecko a Kenjutsu mas-"

"Cat and Gecko? I was talking about the Wind Daimyo." Anko blinked in surprise, and her student scowled. "Over-competitive streak?"

"Er, don't try to switch subject!" the snake lady accused him, childishly trying to cover her mistake. "We will have a moment of honesty later, don't think you can avoid the subject, but back on the Wind Daimyo!"

In Anko's mind, the problem with her student was very simple: Naruto had a compulsive need to prove himself better than others. Much like Gai and Anko herself, the blonde was over competitive, but took it to extremes. Naruto hadn't thought twice about challenging and beating nine genin, or accepting an A-rank mission from the Hokage. Most people would have turned down the offer, but not Uzumaki. He had to show he could do anything.

As a result, he didn't take failures and mistakes well.

Naruto face palmed, and obeyed. "I've worked on the background of the staff of the Fire Daimyo, nothing out of the norm. As the guards are checking if people entering the tower are wearing Henge or using Genjutsu, the enemy will come from the inside. Probably from Wind's court."

As Anko made no comment, Naruto carried on. "I spoke with the Wind Daimyo's staff, and many people are unhappy with the treaty. Land of Fire's products are cheaper than their own, and Suna is afraid the end of taxes on transport would be a crushing blow for their economy. Wind's resources are mostly minerals, and their food is more costly than other countries thanks to less fertile grounds. Opening the frontiers would kill the little agriculture they have left and make them dependent on Rivers and Fire for provisioning… and it enrages the Kazekage. The Wind Daimyo is making an enemy out of the strongest military leader of his land, who has the means to kill him easily. He's an idiot."

"The Wind Daimyo has drastically reduced Suna's funding over the last decade," Anko whispered. "He has outsourced many missions to Konoha. As he does not have a clear successor, his assassination might cause Wind to fall into civil war, preventing the Kazekage from simply removing him altogether."

"Yet, Suna's ANBU isn't present at the submit, whereas Konoha has sent at least a token escort. The Daimyo trusts his personal guard alone to ensure his safety. Unfortunately, Suna isn't the sole possible perpetrator. Our enemies wouldn't like to see us reinforcing ourselves." Naruto crossed his arms. "What do we do next?"

"Negotiations will go on for weeks until the treaty is finalized and signed. This leaves plenty of time for assassins to sneak in. From now on, you will study the background of any newcomer, and investigate on the Wind's court."

"Deal." Naruto coughed. "The summit's opening is tonight. Am I supposed to attend?"

"No, you have another assignment." Anko took one object from her own bags and tossed it to her student. Naruto identified it as a wireless radio upon catching it. "You will find an excuse to get out of the tower. Wanting to party, visiting family, I can't care less. You will spend the night outside. You will find yourself a roof, and watch over who gets in and out of the place. Cat will stay on standby and you will exchange info with these radios. If you see someone suspicious enter, Cat will tail them."

"Alright…"

* * *

_**Outside, Roof**_

_Where is the red light district please?_

_Best excuse to sneak into the night with a bag and without _arousing _the guards' suspicions. I need to use that pun somewhere, _Naruto thought.

Finding a roof hadn't been hard. Climbing to it, however… fortunately, the bag contained all the blonde's useful stuff. Shrugging his civilian clothes for his night uniform, Naruto turned into a shadow. With a grappling hook, patience, and hard work, the blonde reached the top of a six floor pagoda, half a kilometer away from the main tower. Discreetly checking out nobody lived underneath the roof, Naruto started to install himself. It would be a long, long night without sleep.

Fortunately, he had brought _a lot _of coffee.

Searching inside his bag, Naruto brought out a telescope. He might have keen eyes, but the blonde wasn't a hawk and didn't have night vision. He had figured out that a telescope would be a useful tool for nightly-assassinations and recon. Fortunately, the doors guards were keeping torches, and the weather was good. The full moon above the city provided a useful source of light.

"Atlas to Cat," he whispered through the radio. "Someone?"

"Cat to Atlas," a familiar voice replied. "I have to check out your identity. What did you call me when I pranked you?"

"Evil mastermind. I should have chosen _brilliant jerk_."

"Alright, it's you. You're in position?"

"I'm watching," Naruto said, looking through the telescope. "Nothing to report yet. And you?"

"It's quite calm. The Fire Daimyo and his Wind's counterpart are going to make a speech very soon on furthering their alliance, and negotiations will open tomorrow. The Guardian Ninjas and the ANBU are not letting the Daimyo's out of their sight. Same deal with the Wind Daimyo's guard. Both Daimyo have yet to eat anything."

Ah, so they were afraid of poisoning. "To be expected. The rest of the team?"

"Viper is attracting a sizable bunch of males and feeding them lies. Gecko is not far away, silent as a stone."

Cat fell silent. Naruto briefly wondered if the radios didn't work anymore. The female ANBU spoke once again. "How is the moon?"

Startled by the question, Naruto shrugged. "Full and beautiful. Why?"

"Watching it is a hobby of mine," she replied. "Here it is. Look at the third floor. The balcony."

Naruto did as he was told, and noticed Cat standing near the edge, alone. She was staring at the moon, seemingly lost in her thoughts. Her face was easy to see under the moonlight. "See you. You do know the ballroom is on the second floor? Shouldn't you check it?"

He saw her smile. "I'm taking a break. Do you have one? A hobby?"

"Training and planning to defeat everyone I meet," he deadpanned. "You're top on my list."

"Could you wait after the mission to try? You might bite off more than you can chew." She stopped. "Why did you said 'again'?"

Naruto immediately understood, and cursed under his breath. "You could hear me?"

"Please. The entire team heard you. You didn't answer my question."

Naruto snorted. "Why bother? It's unimportant."

"It's about your shortcomings isn't it?"

The blonde almost crushed the radio with his bare fingers. The interrogation had struck a nerve. "I am going to be the strongest ninja in the world. Yet, even the worst Shinobi has an advantage over me. If I want to keep up, I have to be the best at everything. The best actor, the best archer, the best killer. I can't tolerate mistakes. _Any _mistake."

Cat fell silent. "I see. Atlas, there is a limit to what one man can achieve."

"Oh true," he replied, continuing his watch. "But how can I know my limits, if I don't try surpassing them?"

Days repeated themselves. Naruto continued his investigation, watched the tower's entry ways, slept, and repeated the process.

Nothing noteworthy happened. The negotiations continued, the nobles entertained themselves with visits, hunts, and Shogi. They discussed, took their time, and delayed the accord's signature. Anko and company gathered as much information as they could on the staff and court. Half of it belonged to the Daimyos' themselves, and the rest was above suspicions... in theory. But since the unseen blade was the deadliest, the team was keeping an eye on _everyone_.

However, there were main suspects. Anko had noticed at least three people who had definite reasons to dislike either of the Daimyos present, be it because they lost family thanks to Konoha, or out of rampant nationalism. In Naruto's mind, the attack would come from Suna itself. The Kazekage hated his leader with passion and wouldn't find seeing him gone.

Overall, the mission was pretty boring, and Naruto was seriously getting impatient.

It changed when he met Dosu again, at the exact same spot he saved the boy from being bullied. "Tell me, Suzaku," he started, "Would you wish to be a ninja? To be strong?"

The blonde laughed. "For the power to walk on water? I would do anything. Unfortunately, it's an impossible dream."

Dosu glanced around himself, and started whispering to his ear. "Not anymore." Naruto waited for him to elaborate, and he did. "I met people that can make you strong… stronger than any ninja. They're looking for teens with attitude, and they're recruiting. If you want, I can introduce you to them. They might give you a chance."

It sounded shady and was probably a joke, but Naruto had nothing better to do with his time. It may prove to be amusing. "I'm in."

One hour later, they entered a big, magnificent pagoda, protected by two samurai guards. They silently appraised the two, and let them pass. Dosu opened the wooden door and invited Naruto inside a corridor. The scarred boy opened the second door to the left, and the duo found themselves in an office.

"I see you brought our new candidate, Dosu-kun." The man had short black hair, eyes of the same color, and an unremarkable face. His voice was soft, and he was wearing a black business suit. He looked like some friendly, affable salesman. "What's your name?"

"Suzaku."

"Suzaku-kun… fu, fu, it's a nice name." The man's smile was unsettling. "I like your eyes. I can see your whole life inside… you were a victim and toughened up, isn't that it? You have determination, smarts, guts… and no power. Do you seek power?"

"I was told I could gain it here."

"Only if you meet my standards. You will have to pass a psychological examination, to see if you have the… right mindset, and later a physical examination, to see if you are not too frail to be of use."

It was pretty much the usual tests to enter Ninja Academies, so Naruto nodded. His interest was growing. Perhaps was this guy a missing-nin looking for some muscles?

The man showed him a seat, and Naruto sat in silence, taking the opportunity to examine the office. The walls were yellow and decorated with tapestries representing dragons and phoenixes. It had no windows, and the door seemed reinforced to prevent sound from getting out. The businessman dismissed Dosu with a hand gesture, and the teen closed the door. "I will say a series of words, and you will have to answer with one of your own. Suna?"

"Desert."

"Konoha?"

Easy. "_Assholes_."

The man laughed at that. "Ninja?"

"Powerful."

"Murder?"

"Solution."

"Work?"

"Necessary."

"Authority?"

"Obedience."

"Jinchuuriki?"

It took everything for Naruto not to pale. "Enemy," he said, after a short blank. The man locked eyes with him for minutes, creeping him out, before asking a new question with a frightening smirk.

"Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Awesome." The man chuckled, and the blonde glared at him. "Who are you exactly?"

"Oh," he hissed like a snake. "I am certain Anko-chan spoke fondly of… her old teacher."

… _I'm so very, very dead. Gotta find a way out- _

"Your reveal is lame. Did you take it out of a Princess Gale movie?"

It actually made the disguised Orochimaru blink in surprise. Naruto took it as an invitation to continue. "Yeah, I mean, it's so cliché! You invite the student of _your _former student, probably to tempt him to the dark side, and then do a 'we can rule together' speech! I have seen that times and times again, it's getting old!" Naruto left his chair and moved toward the door, as the Sannin watched at him blankly. "See ya around once you find a better scenario. Oh, and SMOKE BOMB!"

Throwing, well, smoke bombs taken from his pockets at the older ninja, Naruto brutally opened the door, prepared to run out for his life-

And someone applied a ether-laced handkerchief to his face, quickly knocking him out cold.

"Tobiman is awesomely surprising," the masked man said, taking the unconscious blonde in his arms. The Akatsuki member glanced at Orochimaru's office. "Is Dr Snake fine?"

"Yes, yes," the Sannin said, emerging from the smoke. "It seems Anko taught him psychological manipulation of the highest level. I admit, this trick was… unexpected." The missing-ninja then glanced at his ally. "Did you place the bomb?"

Tobi nodded. "Deidara-senpai made a _big _petard."

* * *

_**Hours Later, **_

_**Somewhere in the Land of Rivers**_

"Hugh…" Naruto scoffed, opening his eyes slowly. "Now I know how my victims felt…"

"Did you have nice dreams, Naruto-kun? Hopefully yes."

The blonde jerked his head to the side, noticing Orochimaru grinning at him. As expected, the Jinchuuriki was restrained to an operation table by tight chains, unable to move the rest of his body. Apparently, the Sannin was too smart to use ropes.

Naruto stared around himself. The place was dark and illuminated by candles, and it was pretty much like a mad scientist's lab. It was full of bottles containing questionable-looking substances, dead animals kept from decomposing by a green liquid, and scrolls. Orochimaru himself had dropped his former business outfit for a white surgeon grown… and revealed his true form. His skin was as white as milk, his hair long and black, his eyes golden and freaky. In them, Naruto didn't notice any hint of humanity.

"Looking for an escape?" The Sannin gave his prisoner a smug smile, before showing Naruto his sealing bag. "I'm afraid without your tools, it might prove to be difficult. Especially since I have a few hundred men handy… and I am no weakling myself. Impressive sealing work, however. I might replicate this object for my own use one of these days."

He caressed his cheeks, upon placing the bag near other potions. "Since I am your teacher's teacher… maybe it would be better if you were to call me Orochimaru-sensei or Orochimaru-sama, don't you agree?"

"I was going to call you Snaky, to be honest," Naruto deadpanned, sarcasm being his only option for now. Perhaps could he talk his way out?

"I see Anko-chan failed to teach you politeness… then again, she never learned it herself." The man narrowed his eyes at the teen. "I admit, your infiltration was flawless. If I hadn't been informed of your arrival and your disguise, I wouldn't have recognized you, _Suzaku-kun_."

"You were informed?" Naruto guessed instantly. "How long was I under surveillance?"

"Since you were old enough to walk. Unfortunately, ANBU were too omnipresent for a kidnapping to happen, and Tobi's power has limits I have yet to understand. So Sasori focused on keeping you under our radar, waiting for an opportunity to snatch you away from Konoha… which Sarutobi gladly provided." The man snickered. "Sending a demon vessel outside the Village, in peace times, without an escort? Seriously, I wonder if my old teacher isn't going senile. I guess his age finally caught up with his atrophied brain."

"Sasori? As in, Sasori of the Red Sand, the legendary spymaster? And what do you mean by _our _radar?" As the Sannin simply grinned, Naruto creasedhis eyebrows. Since he would get no answer on the subject, he asked another question. "I suppose the incident with Dosu was staged?"

"I wanted to get a better grasp on your personality before kidnapping you, and between your psychological test and your rescue, I have found… flaws, to exploit." Orochimaru shrugged. "Dosu-kun is a good ninja. Obedient, reliable, courteous. I thought you would get along, and when he would give you an offer, you would walk into a trap without much forethought."

"If you were watching me, why didn't you kidnap me sooner? And why are you taking me? To extract the Kyuubi?"

Orochimaru searched in his substances. "Why now, you wonder? The confusion caused by the bomb will occupy Konoha, instead of your disappearance."

"_Bomb_?"

"As for why we want you…" Orochimaru trailed off, blatantly ignoring the question. "To be honest, Naruto-kun, I didn't care about you in the slightest, until I learned Anko had taken you under her wing. Is she doing well? Reports on her tend to be conflicting. Sometimes they say she's a sexual deviant, and others explain she's never seen with anyone."

Naruto glared at the missing-nin. "I don't know what happened between you and her, but apparently, it wasn't nice. Don't pretend you care to gain my sympathy."

"Anko was my finest student," the man replied, bringing it out a syringe and filling it with a solution. It was a green serum, kept in an iron canister, which Orochimaru closed right after finishing his work. "Did you know she was the top kunoichi of her year? Her grades were even better than those of Neji Hyuuga and Sasuke Uchiha. She never disappointed me. Out of ten people, she was the only one to survive my Cursed Seal. It was impressive."

_Cursed Seal… gotta remember that term. _"And yet, you abandoned her."

"Well… yes." Orochimaru chuckled callously. "I could have killed her to cover my tracks, but… it would have been a waste of human worth. I couldn't bring myself to kill her. Since she was unfortunately too traumatized by my latest… experimentation… I was forced to leave her in Konoha. Is it so hard for you to imagine I might be interested in learning how my legacy is doing? I am a sentimental man."

"Sentimental man?" Naruto snorted at the blatant lie. "You don't see her as a person, do you? You're just curious about what happened to your guinea pig."

"Perhaps." The Sannin turned around, the syringe ready. "To return to your question, an extraction would take too much time, and to train a container into using the Kyuubi's power is… bothersome. So, we want… to recruit a full grown Jinchuuriki. You. With enough body-alterations, you will be able to master the Bijuu's chakra and use it for our benefit."

Naruto grinned. "It would be a pleasure to join you. I never really liked Konoha anyway, since they, you know, hated my guts since I was born. Free me, and I'm all yours."

Orochimaru smirked. "I would be a fool to trust someone so… _happy_… to switch sides. Fortunately, we have many means to turn you into an… obedient soldier."

"Like?"

"For example, Gai and his team may never return from their next mission outside Konoha's walls, if you try backstabbing us." The Sannin leaned over Naruto's face to better read his reaction.

The blonde managed to keep a straight face. _Oh the hell does he… ah yes, I have been under watch. FUCK._

"Kumo hasn't forgotten the Hyuuga affair. One word from me, and they will send a squad after this 'prodigy' and his team. Oh, and… what are their names… ah, yes." Orochimaru licked his lips. "Teuchi and Ayame, isn't that? Civilians are always vulnerable to accidents. It would be a _shame _if they were to fall down some stairs and break their necks. Truly a shame…"

The Konoha-nin would have enjoyed wiping that grin from the bastard's face, if he could have gotten past these chains. "Alright…" he said, understanding the man wasn't above killing one of his loved ones to see whether or not Naruto cared for them, "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing hard. Killing people, launching Bijuudama on targets, that sort of things. Of course, you will be handsomely rewarded." Orochimaru showed him the syringe. "You came here for power, didn't you? Here it is."

Naruto glanced at the liquid. "What is that? Ooze?"

"I was told you were unable to use chakra," Orochimaru whispered softly, his prisoner scowling in answer. "Here is the cure to your condition. This is a serum composed of enzymes, modified proteins, and special cells. A performance enhancer developed to create super-soldiers, the new stage of the Cursed Seal. Codename: Samsara. Sasori was always good with nicknames."

Naruto glanced uneasily at the substance. A performance enhancer? "How is it supposed to help me?" he asked, unable to hide the hint of interest in his voice.

"It will allow your body to achieve its true potential, and no doubt it will cure your ailment." The scientist prepared to pierce Naruto's skin. "Of course, there are… side-effects. Like a dependence on the product. Yet another way to make certain you will obey."

Naruto tried to free his arms from the chains, in vain. Orochimaru raised his tool…

An earthquake shook the room, and the Sannin staggered. The man groaned, and touched a ring he had on his hand. "Deidara, what is happening?" he spoke to thin air, making Naruto doubt his sanity. Unless it was sensor-induced communication. Yamanaka were able to pull it off.

Orochimaru's expression progressively worsened, until he was seething with rage… and then he grinned devilishly. "I see." He released his grip on the ring, and posed the syringe among other solutions. "If you will excuse me, Naruto-kun," he said, leaving the blonde's sight, "It seems my old teacher has decided to pay me a visit. Please stay quiet while I welcome him."

Naruto heard the sound of a door closing. He glanced at his sealing bag. If only he could reach it, it would be easy to get rid of the chains…

Minutes passed, and a few earthquakes shook the room in quick succession. _It seems the Old Man managed to track me, _he thought. _But so fast… he was supposed to be in Konoha, coming to the Land of Rivers in such a short time… there is only one possibility._

Naruto had been a bait.

"Old Man, you _magnificent _bastard!" The prisoner shouted to himself, in awe before the ruthless plan. "You knew Orochimaru knew I would be sent to the Land of Rivers!" Sarutobi never intended for his protégée to help foil the Daimyo's assassination… simply to attract the snake's attention and trap him. _The Hokage must have a way to track me down, _the Shinobi guessed. _Maybe a function of my seal…_

He heard the door opening, and someone walked into view. Although she was wearing a cat mask and the standard ANBU uniform, Naruto instantly recognized Cat. "Before you ask, no, I haven't been molested," the blonde joked.

"Wait," she said, unsheathing her Tanto, "I will free you."

"What happened?" he asked, as she channeled chakra into her blade. "Orochimaru mentioned the Hokage paying him a visit. And a bomb. And where are we exactly?"

"The Sandaime, a full platoon of ANBU, and nearly all the forces stationed in the Land of Rivers," Cat corrected, cutting the chains in one precise strike, leaving her teammate free and unharmed. "This is an underground base located in the countryside. We wouldn't have been able to find it without the Sandaime's guidance."

_So he has a way to find me when he wants to… probably only him, or else I would have been arrested after one of my pranks, or during the Forbidden Scroll's theft. _

"As for a bomb…" Cat trailed off, as Naruto's feet touched the ground. "Short story, someone had a bomb explode during a public conference between both Daimyos. How they smuggled it into the building, we have no idea, but there are at least two dozen casualties, including the Wind Daimyo."

"And the Fire Daimyo?" he asked, recovering his sealing bag. A good thing Orochimaru had been too focused on finishing off his former teacher to take it with him.

"The Daimyo always sends a body double during public apparitions," Cat shrugged, "A precaution that saved his life, at the cost of his copy. Unfortunately… evidence… implicates the participation of Suna, and I am afraid the terrorist attack started a diplomatic crisis. The Fire Daimyo is accusing Wind, and tensions are escalating."

_A false-flag operation. _"Orochimaru all but admitted being linked to it."

"You will share this information with Sarutobi-sama once we find him", Cat said, turning her back on him. "Fights are happening throughout the complex. It would be good if we were to participate."

"Two seconds." Naruto looked at the drugs, and found the canister he was seeking. _Samsara, _he thought upon reading the kanji on it, and placing the substance in his bag, _you're coming with me._

"What are you doing?" Cat asked, opening the door. "Hurry."

"Yeah," he said, bringing out his bow, "Let's go kick some asses."

* * *

**_A/N:_ **yep, I'm totally having Sarutobi act like the ruthless military commander he's supposed to be behind the kind grandfather act. And that includes using people as baits.

Most of the Daimyo plot is set-up for the future invasion of Konoha. I mean, if the Kazekage wanted to take out a competitor to get the Daimyo's funds back, why didn't he simply have him replaced with someone more... obedient? The Wind Daimyo could have merely outsourced missions to Iwa had the invasion been successful, and Suna would have suffered heavy losses.

As for the performance enhancer, it's basically the new form of the Cursed Seal. I mean, if one subject out of ten survives, it is... quite costly. Surely Akatsuki would try enhancing it to create a loyal mercenary force. Or use it to keep Jinchuuriki on a leash. I mean, if they can only extract the Bijuu in a specific order, surely making the Jinchuuriki obedient and turning them against their home (and after years of abuse, it shouldn't be hard to convince them to lash out) would be a good alternative to letting them in the hands of the Hidden Villages. Or using the captured Bijuu to create new demon vessels that would obey to the organization only.

Would you kindly review and give your point of view? It fuels my motivation.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Announcement**_: you're _all_ cool. Well, except the guest who said the story was shitty because s/he didn't like the premise. S/he isn't cool.

But the rest of you readers are awesome.

* * *

_**Chapter Four:**_

_**Escalation**_

Kidomaru was having a bad day. Not bad as in 'pretty bad, but not the worst I've had', but bad as in 'fuck this can't get any worse'.

He and the rest of the Sound Four were currently outside the base, fighting with Orochimaru against the freaking _Sandaime Hokage _and two of his men. One was sick-looking guy wielding a sword who was good enough to hold his ground against the Sannin in a blade duel, whereas the other was a snake-summoning girl with apparently no sense of decency. Seriously, how could she fight with that attire?

_Yet_, it was the toughest battle Kidomaru had ever fought. Considerably worse than Kimimaro's legendary trashing.

_In his case, it was a hopeless boss fight, but here… it must be the final boss, _the gamer thought, shooting arrows at the enemy team while being protected by Jirobou's ramparts of earth. Meanwhile, both Sakon and Ukon were struggling with the snake girl, who was unleashing volley upon volley of explosive kunais at their faces, and Tayuya was preparing a sound-based genjutsu.

It should be noted all the Sound Four had unleashed the full power of the Cursed Seal. _And then, the old Hokage is probably going to adopt a monstrous monkey-based super form… a final boss always does that shit. _

Fortunately, Tayuya's illusion finally took effect by paralyzing the sword guy on place. Kidomaru instantly seized the opportunity by firing three arrows at his target's head, heart, and spine. The golden projectiles impacted with a sickening sound, forming bloody wounds. The man fell from the strikes, dead before he hit the ground.

"One down, two more to go," Kidomaru noted, finally feeling like a winner. _I must have leveled up… _"Now, gotta get more XP-"

An arrow covered with explosive seals hit Tayuya's back, causing a large blast.

For a second, the spider-man was at loss of words. "Wait, it wasn't me… so…" He turned around, as one blonde archer emerged from the base, switching from the bow to a strange device. "Oh come on, not new flunkies!"

Jirobou groaned and made hand-seals to crush the new threat… only to be cut into two dozen pieces by a masked ANBU, wielding a sword and wearing a cat mask. The Tanto was wrapped in wind, and would probably cut even stone.

"FUCK!" Tayuya swore, recovering from the sneak attack. As she moved her flute to her lips, her attacker activated his device, a long metal rod connected to his bag by a cable. In an instant, it unleashed a long, bright stream of fire at the girl, making her scream in agony as her clothes and skins started burning.

"Atlas' Secret Technique!" The blonde chuckled maniacally. "Ninja Barbecue!"

Yes, it was all about psychological warfare and Kidomaru knew damn well it was meant to be intimidating, but the hint of sadism in the guy's voice was all too real to ignore. That, and Sakon and Ukon were getting strangled to death by snakes, leaving the spider-man as the only guard still standing. _Gotta escape, gotta escape-_

At that moment, the masked ANBU noticed her dead teammate, her killing intent flaring fiercely. She stared at the golden arrows, then at Kidomaru's bow, and finally at his face.

_I'm so screwe- _Was his last thought before the sword of a very angry woman sliced him in half.

* * *

_And it started so well, _Orochimaru inwardly cursed, dodging a blow from his sensei's monkey staff. Pushing back the old geezer with a Wind jutsu, the Sannin wondered how the hell his teacher could have been informed of his presence in the Land of Rivers. _A mole, _he decided, _there is a mole in Akatsuki. And what is Sasori doing-_

Snakes sprung toward him, an attack he easily countered when his own reptiles emerged from his sleeve. "Anko-chan!" he chuckled at his former pupil. "How long has it been since we crossed path together? Twelve years?"

"It feels like a century for me… and _far too long_!" The lady threw a dozen kunai at his face. "You used me as a guinea pig!"

"What can I say? You weren't fit to serve as my new body, I had to go seek a better one! Can you imagine the time _I _lost because of _you_?" he shot back, trying to anger her in hopes she would slip up, while countering the projectiles with his Kusanagi. As expected, Anko snarled and entered the range of his control.

"Yes!" he shouted, activating the Cursed Seal on his student's neck…

And apparently failing, as Anko shot a fireball at him, unfazed. Creating a wall of earth as protection, the Sannin quickly guessed the reason of his failure. "You had Jiraiya place a seal to contain mine?"

"It was an experiment from Danzo, actually," Sarutobi said, leaping next to Anko and making hand seals. "Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Bullet!"

"Wind Release: Heaven's Breath!" the snake lady added, as the streams of wind and fire fused into a large, deadly inferno.

"Rashomon!" Orochimaru snarled, upon summoning the gigantic gate as protection. _I have no choice, _he thought, _I will have to use the Edo Tens-_

A cat-masked ANBU attacked from his left side, attempting a vertical slash that would have probably cut him in half, hadn't he been faster. Parrying with the Kusanagi, Orochimaru shattered her mask with a punch and prepared to behead the woman, while she was dizzied from the blow.

Unfortunately, Naruto-kun fired an arrow at his face, which he barely avoided. "Get away from her!" he shouted, upon preparing a second shot. The ANBU seized the opportunity to regain her momentum and prepare another strike.

_This is getting too complicated to deal with… besides, I have to secure my experiments, _Orochimaru thought, dodging both a sword swing and a second arrow. _Sensei, it will have to wait for another time… but I'm going to leave a mark of my passage._

"As you wish!" the Sannin snarled, upon closing the gap between him and the blonde with a Shunshin. Before the boy could blink, the missing-nin shoved the Kusanagi thought his chest, cutting through ribs and spilling blood. Then he callously tossed the body to the side. _Now, if the Kyuubi wouldn't mind speeding up…_

"Brat!" Anko roared, upon seeing her apprentice's state. Her killing intent increased and turned nearly unbearable. "You will pay for that, old asshole!"

"Yes, yes," Orochimaru snorted derisively, smirking when his plan started working. Red chakra surrounded the bloodied blonde, adopting the shape of a beast. "Maybe you focus on your apprentice first! Who knows, he might shed his skin, and turn into a fox!"

As expected, the group became more preoccupied by the Uzumaki than by Orochimaru, who vanished through the earth. "Next time…" he whispered, as Sarutobi rushed to Naruto's side. "Next time, old geezer…"

* * *

He was in a sewer. A fucking sewer. And he had one hell of a headache.

"Hello, is there someone here?" Naruto shouted, before arriving in front of a large, dark cage. "Hey, is this some kind of underground zoo?"

Claws _nearly _went past the bars, much to the blonde's amazement. _**"Pitiful maggot…" **_a deep, inhuman voice resonated, as two giant red eyes shined in the dark. _**"I would gladly kill you if I could get past this damnable seal…"**_

"Well, the feeling is mutual, _asshole_!" Naruto glared at what was most obviously the Kyuubi. "You ruined my life!"

_**"I saved it, arrogant worm!" **_The fox leaned its head against the bars, glaring at the teen. _**"Without my chakra you would be laying in your blood! So you will treat me with the respect I deserve!"**_

"Respect? Respect is earned, not given. And you've done _nothing_ to earn respect from me. Your chakra sabotaged my body, you jerk!" Naruto pointed a finger at the beast. "And why did you do it, in the first place? To make me dependent on you? As revenge for being sealed? Answer me, you old fox!"

The creature stayed silent a few seconds, and then exploded into roaring laughter… and increased the volume once Naruto creased his eyebrows. After a long laugh, the beast calmed itself, and answered with the most derisive tone possible.

_**"To spite you."**_

Naruto's eyes snapped open at that comment, and he left the sewer for a white hospital room. "You furry little piece of-"

"Atlas, please do not finish that sentence as long as I am within earshot." Cat leaned her head over to lock eyes with her teammate. She had dropped the ANBU uniform and mask for a black, sleeved robe. "And please calm yourself. You are still weak."

"You should listen to your teammate, young man." Sarutobi Hiruzen opened the only windows, and then sat next to the blonde's bed, on a small chair. "Especially since you were under anesthesia not so long ago."

Naruto took his breath for a few seconds, dizzy and confused. After managing to calm himself, he stared at his limbs. He was wearing a hospital gown, and had bandages over his skin. "Where am I? And how long was I out?"

"You were comatose for around three days," the Hokage replied softly, "We are in Konoha's hospital. You were transferred here as fast as I could. Fortunately, your days aren't numbered."

"I remember a flash of red, pain, and… and power and blood." The memories were disjointed, as if he hadn't been in full control back then. "It was the Kyuubi's chakra, I think."

"When Orochimaru stabbed you, the seal responded by allowing the Kyuubi to send you some of its power." Cat took his hand gently. "Due to your… undeveloped chakra pathways… the process both caused internal damage and accelerated cellular multiplication. The chakra hurt and cured you at the same time, so... you must have lost a few years to live."

"Nice," the blonde deadpanned, slightly feeling uneasy about the physical contact.

"It was the lesser evil. The Kusanagi's poison is lethal, but fortunately, the Kyuubi's chakra expunged it from your bloodstream." The Hokage snorted. "However, your body was so tired it entered a state of deep sleep after the demon's chakra receded into the seal."

"I see… got to do some exercises," the ninja said upon pushing Cat's hand away and rose from his bed.

Sarutobi creased his eyebrows disapprovingly, as his protégé's feet touched the ground. "You should rest a bit more."

"Three days is already too long in my book," he shot back while doing some stretching. "What happened to Orochimaru? And Gecko? Did he-" Cat's depressed expression told it all, and Naruto suddenly realized she was dressed for _mourning_. "Oh shit… I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's nothing," the ANBU replied stoically. "It's… nothing."

Sarutobi's expression worsened. "Cat, would you kindly leave the two of us, and get some rest? You haven't slept enough, and I have to talk with the boy privately."

"As Hokage-sama wishes," she said with a sharp nod, bowing slightly before leaving the room and two men in silence.

The old man sighed, and brought his pipe out from under his robes. "She is deeply wounded. Those two were lovers, and Hayate Gekko's funeral happened this morning."

"I… I see…" Naruto lowered his eyes, upon learning the man's real name. "I didn't know this Hayate Gekko enough to befriend him, but… it's sad he's leaving a loved one behind." His eyes widened. "Wait, the funeral was this morning… how long had she been watching over me?"

"Since after she took an hour to mourn over his grave." Sarutobi lit his pipe. "You received your wounds saving her life, so it isn't that surprising."

"Shouldn't you avoid smoking in an hospital?" Naruto's eyes flickered toward the window. "And who else came to see me?"

The old man grinned like some affable grandfather. "It shall be our little secret. Anko visited you as many times as she could, along with Iruka, Gai's team came, Ayame too, and even Sasuke Uchiha."

Memories rushed to his mind, making the blonde panic. "Oh hell, I forgot! Orochimaru spoke of someone called Sasori, and said I was under _'our' _radar. I think more than one missing-nin is involved, and they have been observing me long enough to know who I am friends with. Snaky threatened to kill them if I wasn't obedient! They may be in danger!"

Sarutobi scowled. "Counter-intelligence isn't what it used to be," he noted dryly. "I will do what is necessary to protect them. ANBU watchers should be good. I would ask that you reduce your social activities, but that may tip off the moles that you _do_ care for them. Go ahead and visit the Ichirakus, your team, Gai's team, and maybe Iruka Umino and Uchiha Sasuke. The latter is already under closer surveillance by my men but please avoid _everyone else_. We wouldn't want a growing list of hostages."

_Too true… _"Then… how did you guess Orochimaru would-" He blinked. "You have moles among his men?"

"I have moles in _every _organization worth infiltrating, young man." Sarutobi released a cloud of smoke from his lips. "I see you guessed why I arrived so quickly to rescue you."

Narto nodded darkly. "I was a bait for the snake, wasn't I?"

"Yes," the old man replied bluntly. "I had been informed he was looking forward to sabotaging the Daimyo summit. Hence, I sent you to it. My student was too greedy to miss the opportunity of capturing a bijuu so easily, and too proud to realize it was all part of a grander plan. I didn't inform you, or anyone else on your team, because I was afraid Orochimaru might have seen through your acting. Whereas genuine surprise…"

Sarutobi glanced at the teen's belly. "Soon after your birth, one of my most trusted friends and one of our best seal crafters, Danzo, added a failsafe to the Yondaime's seal, allowing the two of us and my remaining teammates to track you, should you be abducted. Since Kumogakure has a penchant for kidnapping young Shinobi, we thought it would be for the best to keep a way to keep track of you, should the ANBU not be enough to protect you."

The old man narrowed his eyes. "I apologize for using you. But you must understand, it was a calculated risk. I never imagined my student would rather see you dead than not in his hands."

"Hey, you're the military commander, and we soldiers are supposed to take risks," Naruto replied, secretly preparing his revenge. "Yes, you used me as a bait, but I'm sure it was worth it. If I want to be in the ANBU, I have to expect being sacrificed for the big picture."

Sarutobi blinked. "You are taking this far-"

On a whim, Naruto attempted to kick the Sandaime between his legs… and hurt his feet. "Ouch!" He cursed, as the Hokage grinned ear to ear. "It feels like iron!"

"These are _steel _underpants," the old man corrected proudly. "You don't think you're the first who tried this dirty trick on me, do you? My baby grandson attempted that a week ago." He let go a disappointed sigh. "I expected a better prank from you."

"Sorry, I was in a rush." Naruto sat on his bed and massaged his foot. "I will do better next time. Yes, I'm angry to be turned into a pawn, but, since I'm pretty sure the plan paid off, I won't complain. You're the boss, it's your job to make difficult decisions."

"Unfortunately, a difficult choice is a possibility all ninjas can face," Sarutobi whispered sadly, "And if you are to serve in the ANBU, you will struggle with it your whole life. The plan was a heavy blow to Orochimaru's activities in the Land of Rivers. His private guard has been exterminated, his staff captured and being interrogated, and his installations secured. Unfortunately, my old student got away, and his research findings were smuggled away during the fighting."

_Except that substance… _Naruto kept to himself. He would have to give it to the Hokage if he were to talk, and he had plans for it. "Orochimaru all but admitted being the one who bombed the summit."

"Ah, so you were informed… truth to be told, even if I were to inform the Kazekage about it, without any evidence to back it up, he would not believe me. He thinks we caused the bombing and put the blame on Suna as a pretext to start a conflict or as a ploy to increase frontier taxes to further wrecking his land's economy." The Hokage snorted. "Diplomatic relationships are such a mess… with enough luck and efforts, we might avoid a conflict, but my student has successfully weakened the Konoha-Suna alliance."

_Alright… _"What do we do next?"

"I will take care of a delicate diplomatic crisis," the old man chuckled. "You, on the other hand, will take a break, until I find you a new mission to undertake. You will receive payment for an A-Rank mission due to your services… and an additional reward."

The teen raised his head in interest. "Which is?"

"I was told you asked Anko about… your heritage."

Time stopped for a split second, before Naruto found the strength to answer with a nod. "Why are you keeping it a secret?"

"Because I thought you didn't have the maturity yet to accept some… _distasteful _facts about your family." Sarutobi intertwined his fingers. "But… the more I see you, the more I think you are ready. However, I must warn you… you won't appreciate everything I'm about to reveal."

"I'm not some kid whining when told painful truth." Naruto crossed his arms. "Anko told me the home of the Uzumaki clan, the Land of Whirlpools, sank for no reason."

"A reason called _Bijuu_." The Hokage lit his pipe and brought it to his lips. "The Uzumaki and Uzushiogakure had developed sealing arts with the potential of calling entities like the Shinigami, or binding the Kyuubi, and foreign countries had grown afraid of them. The Sanbi, the Three-Tailed Turtle, destroyed Uzu with a gigantic tidal wave. I am convinced the Third Mizukage released the beast for this purpose, although I cannot prove it. Where there was once a proud Nation and people, only floating ruins and eternal whirlpools remained."

"So the Yondaime did indeed copy their techniques?"

"He was _taught _these techniques by your mother, Kushina Uzumaki." Naruto's eyes widened at the name. "She was one of the few survivors of the disaster, and she came to live in Konoha later. She was a close friend of Minato Namikaze, and…" The old man dropped the bomb.

"And she was the Kyuubi's former prison."

The former- "She was a _Jinchuuriki_?"

"As was Mito Uzumaki, the wife of the First Hokage." Sarutobi shrugged his shoulders. "Uzumaki and Senju had close bonds, before both clans nearly died out. Hashirama's wife followed him to the Valley of the End, and when Madara Uchiha controlled the Kyuubi to kill his rival, she had it sealed in herself. Later, at the end of her life, she passed the burden to your mother in secret. Few in the Shinobi world were aware of this."

The Sandaime nodded. "Uzumaki are gifted with a strong life force and longevity. As such, they make the perfect containers for the Tailed Beasts. I cannot be sure you inherited this blessing, yet, the family curse was passed to you when you were born."

"But… if my mother was the previous container…" Naruto trailed off. "Then… how did it escape?"

"The seal was weakened during her childbirth," Sarutobi said. "I cannot be sure of what truly happened, due to a lack of living witnesses, but it appears the seal broke soon after your birth, and the Kyuubi was unleashed upon our city. The Yondaime was overseeing your birth, and managed to seal the beast into you before it could destroy all of Konoha… at the cost of his life."

Sarutobi carefully left out some details about the _other _side of Naruto's family. The ninja was still recovering, and too much information might cause him to commit thoughtless actions.

"So… my mother was a Jinchuuriki… must explain I couldn't find anything on her by myself." Naruto raised his eyes. "Do you have… a photo? A picture?"

"I have a few I was keeping for you, when you were of age. Come to my office tomorrow, and I will give them to you… along with her dossier." Sarutobi sighed. "Since her home was destroyed during the Kyuubi's rampage, I am afraid it's the last mementos we have from her."

Although he was angry at the man to have withheld this information for so long, Naruto realized something was amiss with the Sandaime's explanations. "The fact my mother was the former prison of the Kyuubi's prison does not strike me as _distasteful_. I mean, if she was willing to run the risk of releasing the beast by bearing me, she must have loved me a lot!"

Sarutobi smiled kindly. "Indeed. She loved you with all her heart." He placed his pipe on his lap, his expression turning serious. "As for the distasteful facts… you are not the only descendant of the Uzumaki still alive to this day. There is another confirmed as such. Your cousin, actually."

Naruto froze. "Another… I... I still have a living relative?"

"You share the same grandfather," Sarutobi explained, scowling. "But… he is a renowned war criminal and mass-murderer wanted across the continent. I was afraid if you were informed too early, you might foolishly try seeking him out for knowledge I did not have… and face a terrible fate for your trouble."

"War criminal?" The fact his only relative still alive belonged to such kind was shameful, and painful. "Would you mind… giving me his name?"

* * *

"You have been too careless, Orochimaru. And why did you harm the Uzumaki? You were supposed to keep him safe until _I _could speak with him."

The Sannin snorted at his partner. If he had come faster to the base, none of this debacle would have happened. "I was curious about Anko, and I wanted to make clear we had the means of causing him pain, should he defy us. I couldn't guess my old sensei had put a tracker on him. As for the wound, I wished to see if he could be of use to us, by tapping into the Bijuu's chakra."

Sasori narrowed his eyes dangerously. "You have wasted some of our aces," he complained, "You have revealed sensitive information that should have stayed between the two of us. Especially the Samsara, the bomb, and the fact we have eyes in Konoha. Pain will be very, _very_ angry."

Although Orochimaru couldn't care less about his superior's comfort, Leader was a force to be feared and handled with care. "On the contrary, it will benefit us," he replied, "Konoha will think we placed the bomb on our own… and as such, will not suspect the Kazekage of being in our pocket. The invasion will be facilitated."

"This is a risky game you are playing," the puppeteer countered, "It could have gone wrong in many ways."

"There is no victory without risk. One must know how and when to gamble... unlike my old teammate." Orochimaru crossed his arms. "As for our eyes in Konoha… Sarutobi-sensei will drive himself paranoid trying to identify them, without success. In the same way Leader will be obsessed with finding _Konoha's _mole."

Sasori nodded gravely. "Only the ten rings were aware we intended to attack the summit. Meaning _at least _one of them is a traitor. The two of us, Zetsu, Leader and Konan are above suspicions, I cannot see Deidara or Kisame doing it… Kakuzu, Itachi, and Tobi are the most likely suspects. I will investigate further."

The Sannin smiled inwardly at the _'above suspicions' _comment, since they were all wanted war criminals and traitors, but didn't comment. "As for Samsara… Naruto-kun won't say anything. He stole the substance from my lab."

The puppeteer's head jerked to the side, much to Orochimaru's morbid amusement. "You believe he might keep it for himself?"

"If he informs Sarutobi, the substance will be confiscated, and all his hopes of gaining chakra of his own will die as well. If he informs Sarutobi without telling he has the substance, my sensei will grow suspicious." Orochimaru smirked. "He is obviously affected by his shortcomings… it's only a matter of time before he tries the drug on himself, gets addicted and comes begging us for more."

"Uzumaki cells are used in the serum, along with your special enzymes, so we cannot guess what kind of side-effects might happen with him," Sasori noted. "Regardless, until we have found a way to remove Naruto's tracker, we aren't to start any action against him. Better focus on the other Jinchuuriki… and on further testing the Samsara."

Orochimaru grinned wickedly. "I have the perfect test candidate ready…"

* * *

After leaving the hospital and getting his clothes, bag, and weaponry back, Naruto moved to visit Konoha's memorial, and pay his last respects to Gekko's soul. Afterward, he wandered aimlessly, thinking about what to do next. He should visit Cat, that was obvious. She was probably depressed about her loss and emotional support would probably be appreciated.

The problem was… he had no idea where she lived.

"Finally awake," Sasuke's voice resonated, as the boy jumped in front of him. The Uchiha was covered with bruises, but his face contained a hint of happiness at seeing his rival standing.

"I was playing sleeping beauty, and waited for a princess to wake me up with a kiss. So far, I have been unlucky," Naruto deadpanned. "As you can see my latest mission roughed me up a bit."

"Not so much as mine," Sasuke shrugged. "I've got the feeling we're going to compete for the most astonishing story."

And they _did _compete. Although Naruto left out some details and pretended he and his sensei had simply been caught in the crossfire of a military operation.

"So, let's make it clear in my mind," Naruto began, once the Uchiha finished. "The bridge builder you escorted lied about the mission? In fact, he was targeted by some powerful businessman who had taken over the Land of Waves by installing a blockade? And Sai managed to send a message to Konoha about the situation with an _animated painting_?" Sasuke nodded. "And Gato sent _Zabuza of the Mist_, one of the most notorious missing-nin from Kiri, to kill Tazuna? And your team managed to beat him on your first meeting, before an accomplice disguised as a hunter-nin faked his death? And that same hunter-nin was a boy looking like a girl called Haku, and he could use an ice-based bloodline limit?"

"He approached me passing for a civilian," Sasuke shrugged. "I managed to see past his act with the Sharingan analyzing his body movements and… we talked about… our respective pasts. He had a pretty shitty life, and in the end, I let him go."

Naruto didn't voice the fact he would have probably killed the boy to avoid further problems, but let the Uchiha continue. "He and Zabuza attacked the bridge later, but Team 8 and 10 had arrived by the time And then, predictably, you wasted these two."

"Kakashi managed to kill Zabuza with a ball of lightning, while Kurenai was trapping him in a genjutsu. All genin ganged up on Haku, and although he almost killed Ino and Chouji, _you_, fighting against your pity for the boy, managed to kill him with a fireball. _Then _Gato got the bright idea to crash the party with an army of mercenary to kill everybody. And predictably, the jounin butchered them all without breaking a sweat."

"You should have seen it. I _almost _felt bad for the guys, to be honest." Sasuke shrugged. "The bridge was finished and called _'the Great Leaf's Bridge' _for our trouble."

"Mmmm… it's definitively a more astonishing story than mine."

"Depends. You participated in an operation against the second greatest missing-nin of the Leaf, killed one member of his private guard, got stabbed by Orochimaru defending an ANBU _and _managed to live the tale about it," Sasuke resumed. "It's a lot more impressive."

"Well, to be truthful, I kind of shot that girl in the back and burned her alive two seconds later. Had it been a straight duel, I think she would have kicked my ass. And getting stabbed is nothing to brag-" He stopped, upon noticing a familiar pink-haired girl approaching. "Oi, Sakura-san! How are you?"

"Naruto-san…" Her displeasure was clear. Judging by her eyes moving at Sasuke, she had probably planned to hang out with him and been surprised by the blonde presence. "I am fine, thanks…"

"Still angry at me for defeating you?" Naruto guessed, causing her to scowl. "Nothing personal, it was a bet, and I had something to gain out of it. I had nothing against you."

"It's not to _me _you should say that," she complained angrily, "It's to _Hinata_."

It actually made the blonde blink. "What about Hinata? She just fainted on the spot before I could do anything…"

Sakura stared at him blankly. "You have no idea she has a crush on you, do you?"

Naruto laughed at that… and stopped upon realizing she was serious. "Oh come on! She, the Hyuuga heiress, having a _crush _on _me_? The no-name _dropout_?" Suddenly, the fainting made sense… the girl had a abysmal lack of confidence in herself, and certainly, the fact he even _approached her _had been too much to bear.

"Yes," Haruno confirmed, "The _one _girl that had a crush on you. And due to her loss to a _no-name dropout_, I was told her clan was punishing her with extra training."

Naruto paled. "So, I humiliated a girl with no confidence who had a crush on me… and I didn't realize it until now…"

"Dumbass," Sasuke summed it up nicely.

* * *

The Hyuuga compound was a nice place where to live, in Hiashi's not-so-humble opinion. It was large, peaceful, with a huge garden, ponds, and training grounds. Only Hyuuga were allowed entry into this sanctuary away from the troubles inherent to great cities.

Hiashi, head of the Hyuuga clan, was currently overseeing his eldest daughter's session while drinking some tea. Hinata was sparring against Neji… and loosing badly. Not that it was surprising. Hizashi's son was a genius, and Hiashi's daughter… a constant disappointment.

After her humiliating defeat against the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki, Hiashi had increased the pace of her training and took all her free time away. In his mind, he had been too lenient with her, and should have pushed her harder. The fact he had focused too long on Hanabi had left him blind to his eldest child's shortcomings, and he intended to correct that.

If a teen without chakra could defeat her so easily, then she would get killed quickly on the field, and Hiashi wouldn't lose a family member. Ever again.

The session could have gone peacefully… but then a blonde cockroach crashed it without warning.

"Excuse me," the Uzumaki scoffed, appearing out of nowhere. "Can I interrupt this for a few minutes?"

Hiashi glanced briefly at the teen in anger. How could he have passed the security so easily? What were the guards doing? "What do you want, Uzumaki?" he asked icily, while Hinata suddenly stared down like a beaten puppy, and Neji exchanged polite nods with the newcomer.

"I would like to apologize to your daughter for what happened last time we crossed paths," he replied, bowing deeply before Hinata, much to her shock. "Please excuse me. It wasn't nice on my part."

While his daughter was too astonished to reply anything and blushed heavily, Hiashi glared at him. "You attacked my daughter in broad daylight, for a bet, of all things. Be happy the Hokage convinced me not to take actions against you for this."

The blonde cringed. "Er… alright."

"It is good you realized your mistake, but you should be punished for your immature behavior, and learn to consider the consequences of your actions. As a father, I will give you this lesson." Hiashi set his tea aside. "Since you have illegally entered clan grounds, I, as the Clan Head, challenge you to a duel."

If the blonde was surprised or intimidated, he didn't show it. In fact, he seemed to expect it. "Where and when?" he asked.

"In two hours, at the stadium for the Chuunin exams," the Clan Head replied, intending to punish him in front of as many people as he could. "Refusing to be present will equal to a surrender."

"No way," Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Clan Head or not, I'm going to-"

"Hiashi-sama," Neji cut in, "May I be allowed to speak with this dropout before the fight?"

Hiashi nodded and dismissed them both with a hand gesture. The Hyuuga prodigy took upon himself to bring back his rival to the gate, before speaking bluntly. "Surrender. You cannot win."

"Of course I can," Naruto replied infuriated. "He's a Clan Head, yes, but he's all about the Gentle Fist. Against me, this is-"

"It will be useless until he decides to target the organs," the prodigy shot back. "Due to your lack of chakra pathway system, none of us Hyuuga can paralyze you or defeat you by closing your tenketsu… but we can surgically inject our chakra in your organs _without _relying on the pathways. It is far less precise, and as such, more dangerous."

Naruto scowled but said nothing, letting his friend continue. "Without a pathway to direct our chakra, these strikes cause internal damage which can be permanent. Hiashi will not hesitate to resort to this when he realizes he cannot defeat you the cleaner way. Hence, since he's a jounin, surrender, or your entire career might end in two hours."

The blonde's expression had progressively worsened. "You can do that too, isn't it," he accused him, "You were holding back all along! _Why_?"

"For the same reason I hold back against Lee and Tenten: because I might accidentally cripple you permanently if I get too careless." Neji locked eyes with his friend. "Look, you're a failure… but you are also dear to my heart. It won't be my fate to end you."

Naruto stayed silent, before grinning. "Ah… so you do care about me!" The blonde gave him a light tap to the back. "Well, then… I will have to go straight to plan B."

Neji blinked in surprise. "Plan B?"

"By this point, you _should _know I never have _just_ one plan." He glared at the genin. "Make no mistake, our conversation isn't over. Once I have beaten your uncle, you and I will fight, and we will see who's the strongest… and this time, no holding back."

* * *

"Oi, Dosu," Zaku snorted, upon seeing the town. "That's the place Orochimaru-sama asked us to burn? It's not that important-looking."

"You're missing the big picture." Had the idiot forgotten this city was under Suna's jurisdiction? The bandaged genin searched inside his bag. "I waited _years _for this moment…" Now, it was _his _turn to burn people. _It's payback time, tree-huggers… you should have killed me when you had the chance, instead of burning my skin and leaving me to rot… 'cause I'm going to make your life miserable._

"How many ninjas are stationed here?" Kin asked, sounding worried.

"Three dozen, mostly Genin on permission and a few Chuunin," Dosu snorted, bringing out a Konoha-headband and a syringe. He put the former on his forehead, and prepared the latter. "At the first sign of trouble, the news will reach Suna in a heartbeat."

"And… it's only the three of us?" Zaku paled. "That's insane."

"No," Dosu corrected, injecting the ooze-like product into his veins. "It's only _me_. You two are just here to warn me should reinforcements come."

As he felt the _'Samsara' _filling his body, Dosu groaned. "Just watch… and _learn_."

* * *

Much to Naruto's surprise, not many people were present at the stadium. He had expected at least a hundred people present merely to see the hated Kyuubi reborn humiliated, and they were three dozen at best. Sarutobi, who had Perry sitting on his lap, an old one-armed man sitting next to him, team Gai, team 7, team 8, team 10, Cat, and finally, Anko.

Oh, and all the parents of the genin he beat. And Kiba's sister. It was hard to miss her.

"He's the guy who kicked your ass?" Hana Inuzuka asked her brother. "He's cute, but he doesn't look that tough."

"Sis!" Kiba whined, while Akamaru growled. "He looks harmless, but he's a sneaky, cheating, arrogant bastard!"

"Technically, it is not arrogance, since he beat all of us," Shino noted. "He _is _stronger than you."

Sai nodded. "Your dog is smarter than you, if you truly expected him to play fair," he said, exemplifying his lack of social skills by angering Kiba even further.

"Oi, brat!" Anko shouted. "I bet one million ryo on your ass! So you better show the stuff you're made of!"

"I'm with you, Naruto-kun!" Lee jumped in place.

"Lee!" Gai clenched his fist. "We must ignite the fires in him with our encouragements. Louder!"

Tenten cringed, quickly imitated by all of Team 10. "Are they always like that?" Ino asked their teammate, who nodded in a depressed manner.

Finally, Hiashi entered the stadium, and, as expected, he hadn't activated the Byakugan. _Perfect, _the blonde thought, as the man walked into the trap, completely unaware he had lost the fight before it started. _Now, __Let's get this party started_…

"Before we start, Hokage-sama," Naruto shouted, attracting everyone's attention, "I would like to ask something to my honored opponent."

There were some words in the audience, and the old man nodded. Naruto locked eyes with his opponent. "Would you mind activating your Byakugan to defeat me? Think of it as a last request."

Hiashi said no word, but gave a sharp nod. "Ready?" The Hokage asked. "Start!"

Silently, veins pulsated around Hiashi's eyes…

And he paled in horror.

"Here are my conditions, and they aren't negotiable: first you surrender. Second, you swear on the Hokage's head to take no further actions against me. And thirdly, you cease to push your daughter around for having been defeated by a an opponent that just beat _you_. You have five minutes before I activate them. And don't try anything rash. I will detonate them if you even _fake _trying to close the gap. And since this is a duel recognized by the Hokage, I will walk away free if you die or are maimed. Think wisely. Think quickly." He would have asked him to remove the seal on Neji's head as well if he could... but if Naruto were to ask too much, Hiashi would probably refuse. _It will be for another time._

While Hiashi's pure fury and killing intent entertained Naruto to no end, the reactions of the assistance topped it. "What?" was the most common word. Sarutobi merely smiled, and the one-armed man nodded sharply.

"Told you he would win without lifting a finger," Anko gloated to Kurenai.

"I see," Cat was the first to catch on. "Ingenious."

"What happened?" Ino wondered, frowning in confusion.

"Easy," Shikaku Nara sneezed, having guessed the second Hiashi paled. "He trapped the field before the match began. Dirty, but smart."

"Hinata," Shino whispered softly, "Could you activate your Byakugan please? Tell us what your father is seeing."

The girl shyly nodded and obeyed. The second her bloodline kicked in, she gasped. "Hun-" she took her breath. "Hundreds… explosive tags… and… dynamite…"

"You guys can't see it because they are under two feat of earth, but this entire arena save the area surrounding my current location is trapped with explosives… and if they detonate, which I can cause at will with a remote detonator hidden under my heel, the entire field will blow up, while _I _will be relatively unharmed." Naruto smiled. "So, Hyuuga-sama, what do you decide?"

"This… this is cheating…" Sakura whispered, before her eyes widened. "Wait, how did he manage to place them without it being noticeable?"

"Certainly he got some assistance," Kakashi eyed Anko, who grinned wickedly. "I see... you used a Doton technique to hide them underground?"

"Hey, there is no law _against _being helped trapping a field with explosives one hour and half _before _a match begins," Naruto made a mock reverence, "I'm a mere law-abiding citizen. It's not my fault if my opponent didn't think outside the box and wasn't careful enough to activate his Byakugan beforehand. As for cheating… we're Shinobi. The only law is to win… and I did. The Kaiten's activation time is slower than the detonation, meaning at best you will lose a leg trying to resist."

Hiashi radiated killing intent… and then calmed himself, briefly narrowed his eyes, and adopted a stoic expression. "Indeed," he admitted, much to Naruto's surprise, "My hubris took the better of me. I should have remembered you were a Shinobi, and that all Shinobi are to be feared… no matter how young they are. I will take this as a lesson of humility."

Then, he bowed, albeit only slightly.

The importance of the gesture wasn't lost on Naruto, whose jaw dropped. The reactions in the audiencewere similar. "I hereby surrender," Hiashi said, upon straightening up, "And swear on the Hokage not to take any action against you, and to be less strict with daughter from now on… for I understand now she had no chance against you from the very beginning. I see why Sandaime-sama respects you so much."

"Er… thank you…" was the only answer Naruto managed to muster. _Damn… I didn't see it coming…_

Sarutobi started clapping, quickly imitated by everyone else. Then, Hiashi used a shunshin to appear next to the Hokage, and they, along with the one-armed man, began to discuss. With a hand gesture, the old man invited Anko and Cat to join them. _Alright… I got the feeling this is going to blow up in my face… _the blonde thought, upon leaving the field and taking the detonator with him.

Upon reaching the spectator seats, he was quickly welcomed by Gai's team and team 7. "Impressive showing, Naruto!" Gai shouted loudly. "See, Kakashi! I have won our bet!"

"Did you say something?" the copy-nin asked, his nose in a Icha Icha book. "I wasn't listening."

As Gai went into a long tirade about how he was the only one taking their _'youthful rivalry' _seriously, Naruto gave a light tap on Neji's back. "Why not tomorrow?"

The Hyuuga smirked. "I will check the field beforehand."

"Congratulations, Naruto-kun!" Lee gave him a thumb up. "You were awesome."

"Congratulations on using _my _explosives," Tenten smirked. "You must have wasted most of your stock here."

"Who cares? I can get new ones… oh, and the flamethrower is awesome." Naruto grinned wickedly. "Nothing can beat the scent of fires in the morning."

"You sound like a psycho," Sasuke sneezed. "Still it-"

"_STUDENT_!" Anko shouted for all to hear, leaping in front of the blonde, and hugging him. "I'm promoted! Promoted, you hear me!"

"Promoted?" the genin repeated. "You're a jounin, how can-" _Ah… the ANBU. She must have been promoted to ANBU. _"Congratulations, crazy sensei!"

"Congratulations for your victory, Naruto Uzumaki," Cat added, upon using a shunshin to appear next to him, "No doubt you will earn your promotion soon enough."

_Damn, they're such show-offs- _His eyes snapped wide. "… did you say _my promotion?"_

Anko chuckled, upon tightening her embrace. "You thought you could beat a jounin in front of the Hokage and _not _be considered for promotion?"

"Hiashi-sama told the Hokage someone with your skills shouldn't stay a genin any longer, and Sandaime-sama agreed." Cat locked eyes with him. "Danzo Shimura, the ANBU commander, said he was favorably impressed by your _'Shinobi view of a fight' _and that he had _'underestimated your potential'_, and said he would consider adding his vote to the proposition. You might become a Chuunin of Konoha very soon, although you will stay under Anko-san's tutelage as part of a two-man squad regardless of your rank."

Between the shock of the news and the lack of air caused by Anko's hugging, Naruto didn't find the strength to react beside short nods.

"Alright, let's go to the nearest bar to celebrate!" the snake lady released her student, who fell on the ground, gasping for air. "My pay!"

* * *

Sarutobi watched, amused, as Anko seized her apprentice in happiness. "I am surprised you _finally _accepted her promotion," he told Danzo, once the two away from everybody else.

"Since my experimental seal can contain Orochimaru's, I see no reason to exclude her anymore." Danzo adopted a calculating look. "Imagine if we manage to pierce the secret of the Cursed Seal. By combining it with my own, we could-"

"I refuse to sacrifice nine of our Shinobi for one success," Sarutobi cut in, "Especially since the side-effects are… unpleasant."

"Point taken." Danzo observed Naruto. "I admit… I underestimated his potential. If he could learn true discipline, he would become a welcome addition to our forces… eventually."

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, and his old friend elaborated. "He has the intelligence, I will not deny it, and quite inventive... but he lacks wisdom, and is blind to the consequences of his actions in the long run. He is lucky Hiashi is wise enough to take his loss well, or your protegee might have suffered retributions no matter the man's promises. He needs more maturity and foresight, and I am afraid Mitarashi will not teach it to him. We cannot allow him to become a Chuunin until he wises up, but... I am no longer opposed to a future promotion."

"Hence, why you accepted Anko's entry in the ANBU," Sarutobi guessed. "As her apprentice, he will inevitably spend time with the group's members."

"Oh, I had a better idea in mind." The war hawk smiled. It was brief, and out of character, putting the Sandaime on edge. "Akatsuki has become a threat too large to be ignored. It needs… special attention." He turned to face the Hokage.

"I think it is time we create a new division."

* * *

Fires were consuming the city, and smoke filled Zaku's lungs. Yet, it could barely hide the scent of fresh blood and burning flesh.

Then, crossing the gates, _he _returned. _He_ was barely recognizable, his clothes were red and dirtied, and his breath was heavy, but it was _him_.

"Dosu…" Zaku shyly asked. "Are you… are you alright?"

"Zaku…" the monstrosity grinned, with fangs instead of teeth. "I'm just getting started."

* * *

_**A/N**_: thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

Before anyone ask on the Uzumaki's slightly altered history and Danzo being ANBU Commander... this story _is_ AU. Although in this case, it's more about expanding things canon stayed vague on. As for Naruto's living relative, it is a canon major character and I believe I dropped a few hints already. Guess who it is.

For Atlas!Naruto's main flaw, it is, ironically, shortsightedness, among other things. It's going to hurt him later. As for the fights... due to his fighting style, he either wins quickly if he is prepared, or loses quickly. He isn't made for long shounen fights, but for ambushes, trapping, sniping, poisoning... aka closer to a real life ninja than the mercenaries they're portrayed as in canon.

I am also going to focus on minor characters and develop them, like Yugao, Dosu, the Jinchuuriki, and others later. I believe they have a lot untapped potential fanfics rarely exploit.

Next chapter is going to explain a few things, like the Kazekage's motivations and the consequences of Akatsuki's actions.

Would you kindly review? It fuels my motivation.


	5. Chapter 5

Took me longer to publish this chapter than I thought it would, but... here we go.

**Disclaimer:** if you're reading this, you're awesome.

* * *

_**Chapter Five:**_

_**Laying the Trap**_

"There is a mole among the Ten Rings," Sasori spoke, locking eyes with the fellow missing-nin, "And I think it's _you_."

It took everything Itachi had not to blanch and confirm the puppeteer's suspicions. Years of training in the ANBU gave one a potent control over emotions, but the puppeteer was skilled enough to detect any subtle tell that a person might have. "Absurd. I abandoned this place long ago." It _was_ the truth… however he doubted Sasori would believe him so easily. The puppet master had no doubt revealed his suspicions to better see the genius slip and blow his cover…

He would be sorely disappointed.

Sasori stared for a long time at the Uchiha's face, his mechanical eyes conveying its owner's suspicions. What kind of sick monster was hiding inside this armor of wood, Itachi had no idea. "You're the only one of us with a possible motive," the accuser replied with a cold tone. "Was it the price to keep your brother safe, I wonder? Information on us in exchange for his safety?"

He guessed right, unfortunately, but Itachi wasn't going to confirm any of his suspicions. "I let my brother live because he was not worth my time," he stated coolly. "Your suspicions are misguided."

"Let me tell you a story, Itachi." Sasori shook his puppet's head. "When the organization was young, Hanzo the Salamander was defeated and caught by Pain. The proud, powerful leader of Amegakure, who defeated the three Sannin decades ago, was defeated soundly. His old age dulled his skills and he was no match for our all-powerful leader." There was an ominous pause. "Do you know what kind of punishment Pain exacted upon him for resisting his will? He chained the man to a rock, and then brought his entire family before him. His sons, his daughters, his wife, his grandchildren… even his cousins."

Itachi said nothing.

"Then Pain strangled them all. One by one. With his bare hands. Hanzo begged for mercy, said they had nothing to do with his actions… and Pain replied, on that day, Hanzo would forever understand the meaning of the word _suffering_. The man was so traumatized by the experience he did not even resist when Pain snapped his neck in a brief moment of mercy." The puppet's tail wavered slightly. "It would be a shame if it were to happen to you, don't you agree? Perhaps your… _worthless _brother… would be the one brought to you. The Sharingan would make you remember the scene until the very end of your life… if Pain lets you live, that is."

Itachi did not know Pain well enough to decide if the story was true or not, but considering the self-proclaimed god wannabe ruled over Akatsuki with an iron fist, it was most certainly not an empty threat. And Madara probably had a nastier punishment waiting in his sleeve should his difficult student prove to be a traitor…

It was Kisame who came to his partner's rescue. "Sasori, I was with Itachi all the time this month," the shark man cut in. "He couldn't have warned Konoha. I would have noticed it."

"Or perhaps did he simply put you under a genjutsu," Sasori countered with a stoic tone, before switching subject. "No matter. I have come for the jinchuuriki, first and foremost."

Kisame shrugged, and tossed the beaten old man at the puppeteer's feet. "That's the Yonbi's container, Roshi of Iwagakure. We ambushed him while he was resting in the forest. Didn't stand a chance against the two of us. Do we extract the Bijuu immediately?"

"No," Sasori replied, seizing the broken ninja with his tail. "You have another assignment. I laid a trap for the Gobi's Jinchuuriki at these coordinates." He tossed a scroll to the shark-man. "The Nanabi's vessel has also been sighted in the area. Capture her if possible, but the Gobi is your priority."

"Three Jinchuuriki in the same day? Did you hit the jackpot when I wasn't looking?" Kisame asked with a chuckle. "That's going to be the most exciting day of my life. You don't mind if I rough them up a bit?"

"As long as you capture them alive, I don't care if they lose a limb or two." Sasori turned around, but gave a potent glare at Itachi. "I hope you will remember the side you're on, Uchiha," the puppeteer threatened him ominously, "Because I will keep your back in sight."

The Uchiha stayed silent, as the man vanished from his view. Once he was certain Sasori was far away, he glanced at Kisame. "Thank you."

"No problem. What happens between us, stays between us. I'm not the kind of guy who would rat out a friend. Especially when he's still loyal to his homeland. Kill them maybe, but not rat them out." The shark-man shrugged his shoulders. "But seriously, I don't think you will be able to stay undercover for long now that Sasori is suspicious. How the hell did you inform Konoha by the way? I'm curious."

"I did not."

Kisame raised an eyebrow. "Look, Itachi, it's not like I'm not aware of your true allegiance, and to be honest, I don't give a fu-"

"I _did _intend to inform Konoha, but I found no way to do it in time," Itachi cut in. "It's someone else who sold the information to the Leaf."_ But who? _he had no idea.

The shark-man said nothing… and then chuckled. "So Sasori managed to overlook _two _moles in Akatsuki? Eh… eh… eh, that's so funny! He knows everything but missed something that big!"

Itachi rolled his eyes, as his partner exploded into uproarious laugher.

* * *

Fuu was bored.

It had been a year since she left Takigakure for the roads, trading a cage for freedom. At fourteen, after years of abuse, insults and cold stares, she decided to screw everybody and leave for a better life. It wasn't as if they tried to restrain her. In fact, in spite of the Bijuu she contained inside her body, they seemed glad to see her gone.

Of course, the fact she was the fifth Jinchuuriki of the Nanabi in the Village's history to lose control over the beast at least once probably helped. They gave up on creating their little walking apocalypse and didn't bat an eyelash when she left through the main gates with a travel bag on her back.

Even her mom didn't come to tell her daughter goodbye.

"Fuck them all," she told herself. If she continued thinking about her former life, she might descend into depression, perhaps turning emo in the process. The fact her travels didn't distract her from her problems didn't seem to help either… _How can the outside world be this freaking boring? The other girls just want to marry some nameless loser and the boys think I can't kick their ass 'cause I don't have balls! Some days I regret not being able to let Nana show them who's the biggest baddy on the continent…_

And here she was, wandering aimlessly among green fields of grass with an empty stomach, no money, and no idea what to do next. "Perhaps I should go find work in the nearest city… I wonder if they're looking for ninjas to hire…"

With her appearance, she wouldn't need much effort to pass a weird missing-nin. Her tanned skin, green hair, and amber eyes were quite unusual. She was wearing a kunoichi attire composed of a shirt with a fishnet armor underneath and red pants. Her belt was covered with special pockets containing all her weapons.

Before she reached any destination of note however, she stopped. Blinking in some confusion, she put her hands in her pants' pockets and frowned. "Who the hell are you?"

A man was standing still in the middle of the field. He was a giant standing at nearly eight feet tall with strange brown eyes. He was wearing a massive red armor covering his entire body, save for aforementioned eyes, a black shirt and gloves. He was also wearing a ridiculous large rounded hat… and a slashed Iwa-headband.

He was immobile, staring into the distance, like a statue.

"Hey!" Fuu waved her hand at him. "What are you doing?"

"The Han is waiting for a friend," the man replied with a deep tone. "Please do not disturb the Han. The Han likes silence and to be in tune with the cosmos."

Yes, the guy was _that _weird. Fuu narrowed her eyes. "The Han? What's that bullshit?"

"First person cannot convey the magnificence of the Han," the giant replied. "The Han cannot be limited by _I_, for the Han… is _the _Han."

"You're a fucking weirdo."

"Yours words are pitiful howls in the wind compared to the iron will of the Han. Cease to bother him, or the Han will kick your ass with his steel boots."

This grated Fuu's nerves. The fact the guy talked in third person, she could tolerate. To some extent. But being looked down upon always made her go berserk. "Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can beat me? I kicked the butt of a jounin before I graduated as a genin!"

He shouldn't have tried to assassinate the vessel of a mighty Bijuu in her sleep…

"When the Han is going to beat you within an inch of a life, your last words won't be an appeal to the gods… but a thanks for the Han's merciful trashing. And next, the Han shall send you to crash into the moon with his bone-shattering spanking move. So do not test the Han's patience, for the wrath of the Han is limitless fury and unbending fire!"

"Alright, that's enough nutcase!" Fuu snarled. "I'm going to show what the strongest Jinchuuriki in the world can do!"

"The Han is unimpressed, for the Han is the strongest demon vessel in the entire _galaxy_." He nodded, upon noticing Fuu's surprise. "The Gobi is the Han's sidekick, for the Han is second to _no one_."

"You're the vessel of the Five Tails?" Fuu's jaw dropped, before she quickly corrected her expression. It was the first time she encountered another demon vessel, and… she had no idea how to react. "I… I see, sorry. I thought you were some haughty jerk."

"The Han accepts your apologies." The man narrowed his eyes at Fuu. "The Han would like to know which demon do you keep at bay, and what is your name."

"The Seven Tails." She grinned warmly, happy to meet someone who shared her situation… even if he was completely nuts. "I'm Fuu."

"The Han is glad to meet you, Fuu. The Han wonders what a mighty kunoichi like you is doing in the Land of Fire, so far from Taki."

_Mighty kunoichi? _Fuu beamed at the nickname. Finally, someone was recognizing her worth in spite of her gender. "Well, I was traveling after saying 'fuck you' to my village. Long short story, I've got nowhere to go."

"The Han understands. The Han gave the middle finger to Iwa himself when the Tsuchikage did not recognize how awesome the Han had become. If she wishes, Fuu can travel with the Han. He would be glad to have company of a fellow cursed one as he travels across the world."

"Really?" Fuu jumped on her feet. It was the first someone _ever _proposed her friendship… "But… aren't you waiting for a friend?"

"The Han is waiting for Roshi, container of the Four Tails and drunkard extraordinaire." The giant crossed his arms. "The Han discussed with him through letters, and he finally decided to leave Iwa to travel with the Han at the Han's urging. But the Han is growing impatient and suspicious."

Fuu raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"The Han has been waiting for four hours. Roshi might be a drunkard, but a late man he isn't. And _who_ would dare make the Han wait?" The giant shrugged. "The Han hopes his friend isn't in trouble."

"Well… maybe he's in a city nearby?" Fuu suggested. "Maybe he's staying in Konoha?"

"Mmm… it is true Roshi is plagued with thirst and may have succumbed to the lure of an open bottle and the scent of fresh sake. Fine, the Han is going to grace the Leaf with his presence." He advanced toward the east. "The Han will shatter their walls as a conqueror and-"

"Dude…" Fuu pointed a finger toward the west. "Konoha is in the opposite direction."

The madman stopped briefly. "The Han knew that," he replied, backtracking. "The Han was just testing your sense of orientation. The Han is proud of you."

Fuu palmed her face and groaned.

* * *

"You are all gathered here today because I'm awesome!" Anko boasted, as she drank the sake. "Gaze upon my holy figure and worship me!"

"Sorry, you aren't goddess material." Naruto deadpanned.

"Folly!" If Anko wasn't drunk, she wasn't far from it. "I am supremely divine! What could be better than me?"

"The Ramen Emperor of Mankind."

Everyone glanced at Naruto in a mix of confusion and, in his teacher's case, alcohol-induced rage. The snake lady had invited her student, Gai, Asuma, Kakashi, Kurenai, and their respective teams for her celebration. Well, she didn't invite the _genin_, but apparently Chouji menaced to go on a rampage if denied free food and Anko wanted witnesses for her _'coronation'_.

Sometimes, Naruto wondered who the hell decided to teach destructive jutsu to _these _people in the first place. Was he the only sane person around here? "The Ramen Emperor, sitting on his orange throne, has been protecting mankind from the dangers of hunger for eons! With his mighty recipe, he defeated the junk food gods themselves and created an army of space cooks to bring the peace of ramen to all!"

A heavy silence followed his declaration, and Perry barked on his knees. For some reason, the animal had taken a liking to resting on his lap while his owner was sitting. _Sarutobi, you evil mastermind, you corrupted my pet when I wasn't looking!_

"Meh," Anko snorted, "The Ramen Emperor is nothing before… the SNAKE EMPRESS!"

"_Blasphemy_!" Naruto pointed a finger at his sensei. "Burn the witch! Suffer not the unclean to live!"

Many people cringed at the declarations. "Let's just pretend this never happened," Tenten proposed.

"I will drink this scene into oblivion," Sakura deadpanned, bringing sake to her lips. As genin were legally adults in the Village, it was probably her first celebration of the kind.

_Guess it would be quite hypocritical to teach children to kill each other and then deny them access to alcohol… _Naruto pondered, before noticing the girl he was looking for, backing into a corner, fearful of others. "Tenten, could you look after Perry for me?" He asked while already deposing the platypus in front of his pal.

"What?" The girl blinked in confusion, but her friend already left her alone with the animal.

"Er… Hinata-san, can I speak with you?" He approached her, doing his best to avoid Kiba's venomous glare. "Privately."

The little Hyuuga became so red at the word _'privately'_ Naruto feared she had misunderstood his intentions. She however nodded and followed him, as he sat around a table isolated from the others. "Please take a seat," he asked, and she obeyed.

The blonde waited for her to say anything, but she merely narrowed her head, too shy to speak to him. "Look… Sakura told me about your crush." Somehow, she turned even redder. "First, I'm sorry about what happened… I hurt your feelings, but… you must understand… you have to drop it."

As her expression turned into one of pure despair, Naruto put a hand on her shoulder in a fraternal way. She gasped slightly at the contact, but it lessened her tension. "It's not against _you_," Naruto explained, "I have no interest in romance, _period_. I can't explain why, but in my current situation it wouldn't be wise for me to pursue any girl. Or guy."

He released his grip and laid back. "That, and… well, look at us. I'm an orphan with a really, really bad reputation in this town. My best friends either wear green spandex or are complete and utter assholes, and my teacher is an attention whore. And let's not talk about the debacle with your dad.

"_You_, on the other hand, are the heiress of the most preeminent clan in the Leaf now that the Uchiha kicked the bucket. Your standing is vastly above mine, and you're going to be one of the most powerful women in town. If your father knew about your crush, it would cause a scandal and give some of your family members… distasteful ideas. Neji told me about what happened to _his _dad, and I don't want to see you get a seal because of me… in fact I don't want to see you with a seal at all. So… please just move on and try pursuing someone else."

The girl said no word, but nodded slightly. "Naruto-kun… it's…"

"Look, I don't even understand _why _you have a crush on _me _in the first place. I don't get it… how could a girl from your standing even pay attention to a dropout is beyond me."

"Because…" She crossed her fingers. "Because I admire you."

Naruto opened his mouth, and yet no word came out of it. He was left speechless by the admission. "What?"

"I… with the Byakugan, I…" The Hyuuga lowered her head. "I know… I know why you never use ninjutsu…"

Naruto blanched. _She knew, _he realized, _she knew all along. Of course! A mere glancing from the Byakugan would be enough to learn about my condition. _"I see."

"I… I saw you train… you had every reason to give up… and yet you did not." She intertwined her fingers. "Whereas I… I feel ashamed by my weakness… so… your courage inspired me."

"Hinata," Naruto whispered softly, making her gasp. "I am touched. Really, it's… it's the first time someone admired me. Look…" He smiled at her. "The fact I can't return your affection does not mean we cannot be friends."

He presented her his hand. "What do you think of it? I would also be glad to help you become a better ninja, if you wish."

She looked at it, and after a moment of hesitation, shook it. "Alright… Naruto-senpai."

_Senpai? _It warmed up his heart. "Deal, Hinata-_kohai_." He rose up and gently led her with me. "Let me present you somebody you should look up to…"

When they reached Tenten, the girl was glaring potently at Perry. "Sit down," she ordered, and the animal obeyed. "Rollout!" The platypus rotated on place. "On your feet! Bipedal mode!" Much to Naruto's amazement, the pet hurriedly did as it was told.

The blonde glanced at his pet, then at Tenten. He blinked, glanced at Perry, and then locked eyes with Tenten. "How the _fuck _did you- I left it to you _five minutes ago_!"

"Motivation." The girl glanced at Hinata, smiled, and saluted her. "Hi, I'm Tenten. Nice to meet you."

"H-Hi… I'm Hinata." The Hyuuga suddenly found the floor to be of a very peculiar interest, and it did not leave her sight.

"Tenten, Hinata has serious self-esteem problems. As a kunoichi of talent and unquestionable sanity, I believe you are the most capable person to solve the problem. Give her…" He grinned. "_Motivation_."

Tenten's jaw dropped in surprise. "Me?"

"I've been training with you long enough to know you're the one keeping your team together." In Naruto's humble opinion, hadn't Tenten been there as mediator, Neji and Lee would have probably come to blows long before they could develop a friendship. "Heck, the only other person I know who can motivate others easily is _Gai_, and… yeah. Imagine into what he would turn her into."

Tenten shuddered, the image of a spandex loving Hinata coming to her mind. "Fine," she said, with a light grin. "But you gotta do something for me in return. Private lessons are costly nowadays…"

"You sneaky… and charity? The love of your fellow?"

The kunoichi raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "I'm the daughter of a weapon seller, remember? I would be a moron to not profit when I can. Don't worry," she gave him a devilish smirk, "I won't ask for much."

Since it was pretty much the same grin Anko used each time she prepared to beat him up, Naruto discreetly looked for the restaurant's nearest exit. "Fine, fine… how much do you want?"

"We'll deal with that later." She gave a light tap on Hinata's back and took her outside, much to the Hyuuga's obvious uneasiness. "Let's teach you a few lessons about confidence and girls' superiority over boys…"

Observing the two as they left, Naruto caught Perry and noticed a friendly face drinking at the bar's counter. She was clad in a civilian black dress, and away from the rest of the guests. Naruto sat at her side and ordered a coffee. "You're not enjoying queen Anko's coronation, I presume?"

"Not so much." Yugao Uzuki smiled sadly. "I've never been comfortable in parties, to be blunt. They aren't my thing. Yeah, I'm happy Anko is joining the corps, but…"

_But I still think of my boyfriend, _was left unsaid. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"If I hadn't been captured, he…" Her face did not change at all, which disturbed Naruto. "It's my fault, indirectly."

"It's Orochimaru's fault," she countered stoically. "Look, Atlas… nobody could have foreseen it. Hayate died in the line of duty, which is all too common in the Shinobi world. We were both prepared for it when we started dating. In fact, I expected to be the one to die first. ANBU take the most dangerous missions. I swore on his grave I would avenge him, and I intend to fulfill this promise. Agonizing over the past… blinds you to the present."

"A wise bit of advice not everyone has the strength to follow, I'm afraid," Kakashi's voice reached their ears, making the duo turn around. He sat at their side, his lone eye trapped into a frown. "Yugao, I have bad news. We just received a report from one of our teams posted on the frontier. There has been a massacre at a town in Wind."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. Could it be a consequence of the summit debacle? "What happened?" Uzuki asked, clenching her fists.

"I only have vague info." Kakashi crossed his arms. "This morning, a lone individual entered the town and started throwing bombs at houses. An inferno quickly spread and the ninja present attempted to arrest him. Unfortunately they were inexperienced genin and chuunin, and the attacker killed every single last one of them. Then he butchered all the civilians he came across before fleeing to who knows where. Casualties are estimated between the hundreds and the thousand, thanks to the fires. Our men couldn't give a precise number."

"What did he look like?" Naruto cut in. "It might be one of Orochimaru's men."

The blonde half expected the jounin to ignore him, doubly so since he had humiliated his students a few weeks ago, but surprisingly the man simply nodded. "It was the first thought that crossed my mind as well, and the ninja's description… he had claws instead of fingers, and he was seen snapping a sword in half with his teeth. He evidently suffered from heavy body modifications, a specialty of the snake. But… that's not the worst part."

Yuugao raised an eyebrow, and blanched. "He was wearing one of our headbands, right?"

Kakashi nodded grimly. The implications horrified Naruto, and the copy-nin added salt on the wound. "He also kept shouting it was _'payback for their attempted murder of the Fire Daimyo' _and that it was _'Suna would pay' _among other threats. You don't need many brain cells to guess Wind will be pissed at the Leaf when this massacre becomes common knowledge."

"It's definitively Orochimaru," Uzuki whispered. "After the failed summit, our relationships with the Wind are at their lowest. This will exacerbate the tensions."

"Even if some in Wind will guess it's a false flag operation," Naruto guessed, "The populace at large will be out for our blood. The chances of a war starting just increased." _  
_

"Are the Chuunin Exams going to be annulled senpai?" Uzuki asked, the honorific surprising her blonde friend. "I heard rumors about it."

"No." Kakashi shook his head. "The Hokage wants to defuse the situation with the Kazekage and the Exams present a perfect opportunity. The Fifth Mizukage is also scheduled to attend to it, in order to take back Zabuza's corpse from us."

"Kiri elected a Fifth Mizukage?" Naruto put the information in a compartment of his mind for a later use. "Who is it?"

The Hatake shrugged his shoulders. "No idea. The region isn't completely stabilized yet, and news have sometimes been contradictory. But whoever it is, the new Mizukage wishes to confirm Zabuza's death, and probably use the Exam as a way to rebuild old alliances."

"It would also remind the world Water is still a force to be reckoned with." Yugao crossed her arms. "It seems everyone is on the move lately. I don't like it."

"Neither do I." Kakashi shrugged. "Call me a pessimist, but I fear a new war is on the horizon. The signs don't lie." He blinked, upon glancing at where Anko was. "For the love of… she's actually putting a crown on…"

And he left them in a blink.

Doing his best not to look at Anko's newest drunken joke, Naruto glanced at Yugao while drinking his coffee. "Senpai, eh?"

"He was my captain in the ANBU," she admitted. "Kakashi… you have to look underneath the underneath with him. You scratch past the foolish persona and you discover a war veteran. Dig some more and you find a troubled individual."

"I've noticed." As it became increasingly clear Yugao was getting bored, Naruto coughed. "If you don't like Anko's party, I can escort you to your home, or we can go out doing… I don't know, talk, train, do origami, anything."

The ANBU chuckled. "Weren't you supposed to avoid human contact as best as possible?"

"The old man informed you." It wasn't a question, but a fact. "Do you have an idea who could have spied on me?"

"The list is too long to give." Yugao sighed. "It's a good thing Hinata Hyuuga is already kept under scrutiny by the ANBU, for your interactions with her could have turned her into a potential target."

It wasn't surprising, considering Kumo tried to kidnap her when she was very young… "The old man said I could still frequent my team," he said. "We're still a team, right?"

The ANBU stayed silent a few seconds, before nodding decisively. "Yes… yes we are."

* * *

"Hokage-sama," Inoichi coughed. "I have bad news, and worse news."

"It can't be worse than what happened this morning," Sarutobi shrugged sadly, rereading again the report one of his agents in Wind sent as fast as he could. _Who could have ordered this massacre? _The Sandaime pondered. _Onoki? A? They would benefit from a war between Suna and Konoha, true… but no. My guts tell me my former student has a hand in this… this shameful atrocity. _"Go on."

"The captive 'Tayuya' is no longer able to endure further questioning," the interrogator admitted. "I attempted to enter her mind and extract information as soon as the medics reanimated her, but… Orochimaru apparently added a failsafe seal in her brain. The second I activated my jutsu, it destroyed her mind and memories. The hope of salvaging any information for this empty husk is… nonexistent."

Sarutobi clenched his jaw. Her survival after the burns she suffered from Naruto had been nothing short of a gift from heavens, and now it had been all for naught… "At least we can vivisect her body and examine her Cursed Seal," he noted. "You said _worse _news?"

"Ibiki interrogated some of Orochimaru's staff we jailed during the attack, and roughed them up a bit." The Hokage did not need a memo to understand the implications. "They… testified they received information from moles in Konoha. We managed to identify three of them…"

"Who?" Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. "If the Counter-Intelligence missed them-"

"Hokage-sama…" Inoichi cringed. "The moles are _from _the Counter-Intelligence department. We believe at least some of its heads are compromised."

The Hokage stayed silent briefly, until he lit his pipe, inhaled sharply, and locked eyes with the Clan Head. "I had my suspicions for a time," he admitted, his fears confirmed. "Konoha was totally clueless about the recent troubles in Wave, and Kakashi and the last Uchiha were sent in a C-rank mission to it… which turned out to be A-rank. I have been wondering if the error wasn't an attempt at subtly crippling our strength."

"So what do we do?" Inoichi crossed his arms. "The moles we identified are probably only the tip of the iceberg."

Sarutobi brought the pipe to his lips and let the smoke fill his lungs. "I'm decreeing a purge."

The Yamanaka actually blinked. "Hokage-sama-"

"The ANBU," he cut in, "Will arrest all the members of Counter Intelligence. Your division shall then interrogate them and identify any individual with possible ties to the enemy. Konoha does not know it yet, but I am afraid a war is near, and we cannot afford for our Counter-Intelligence to be non-functional when the time to defend our country comes."

"I… I will be ready," Inoichi stated.

"Yes. Yes, _we _will."

* * *

"So?"

"Everything is going as you planned, Orochimaru-dono," the Yondaime Kazekage replied with joy upon welcoming the Akatsuki member around a table. "I have convinced the civilian representatives. With the little stunt your agent performed on the border, the populace is convinced Konoha is preparing to attack. The threat of civil war will be postponed until the more immediate threat is dealt with."

"Nothing reforms a divided population better than the threat of invaders," the Sannin mused. "If you assume, _temporarily _of course, the occupation of the Daimyo post, some will protest… but the sanest members of the nobility along those answering to my organization will support you for the sake of presenting a facade of unity before the foreign nations. This should give you a few months to prevent a succession crisis."

"With the time gained, I will be able to put a new _loyal _and competent Daimyo in that cursed traitor's place," the Kazekage nodded to himself. "Since Konoha will guess you are linked to the both the massacre and the bomb incident, I will simply have to put the blame on you, slowly defuse the diplomatic crisis, and turn Suna peaceful and stronger than ever before. The Daimyo's funds will turn back to the Village, and your organization shall be handsomely rewarded for your help… without Konoha's knowledge of course."

Orochimaru. "Actually… that's not going to happen."

The Kazekage frowned. "I gave you the S-"

_"A man chooses. A slave obeys."_

The Yondaime's mind ceased to function and he blacked out. His eyes wandered aimlessly devoid of life and will. Orochimaru smiled at this reaction. The trigger sentence had worked perfectly. Now, it was time to give some subconscious instructions and place this pawn on the chessboard.

"The concession you gave us was most appreciated, Kazekage-dono," the Sannin explained kindly. "But I am afraid you misunderstood your role. You will not keep Suna peaceful. In fact, while you pretend to try to solve the crisis and accept Sarutobi's explanations, you shall secretly gather your forces to strike during the Chuunin Exams, leaving your nation unprotected. We must start the Fourth Shinobi War. Kumo and Iwa are weak, while your country is strong. With Akatsuki's help, victory is assured. You must not consider the possibility of failure, and silence everyone speaking against our project. Is this fine for you?"

The Yondaime nodded, unable to control his actions. "Then… _Sasori sends you his regards_."

At the trigger's activation, the country leader's eyes snapped open and drifted aimlessly. Orochimaru faked a worried expression. "Kazekage-dono, do you feel alright? You seem sick…"

"Yes, I was simply pondering an alternative." The man regained his arrogant confidence. "Why not fake peaceful negotiations, and instead prepare to strike Konoha?"

"A wonderful idea worthy of your tactical genius," the Sannin agreed happily, lying through his teeth. "Marvelous. Against our combined forces, Konoha will surely fall."

"With Gaara, we will destroy the country without suffering any losses, allowing Suna to rule the south unopposed." The Kazekage snorted scornfully. "And then, we shall start the Fourth Ninja War. Kumo and Iwa have been too much weakened by the last conflict to resist, and Wind will impose its hegemony over the continent."

"Nothing would make me happier…"

Afterward, the two leaders started elaborating battle plans and as expected, the brainwashed Kazekage was walking straight into Akatsuki's trap.

_If the invasion succeeds, good. Konoha will be destroyed, Wind will be weakened, and either Iwa or Kumo will try taking advantage of the situation by invading the Land of Fire, while Suna shall fall into chaos, _Orochimaru mused inwardly_. If it fails, no doubt the results shall be the same. Konoha will not survive without losses and their enemies might get ideas anyway. In __either case__, the Fourth Shinobi War will __start__ with Akatsuki profiting from the event, in more ways than this puppet can imagine._

After leaving Sunagakure, Orochimaru was welcomed by his partner in the desert away from notice. "Tell me, my dear scorpion," the Sannin grinned, "How long has our dear Yondaime been under your control?"

"Ever since he became the apprentice of the Sandaime Kazekage." The puppeteer snorted. "He was useful to trap his teacher and since he had a high probability of being chosen as the man's successor, I had him sabotage investigations and blame Iwa… sparking the Third Ninja War."

"Oh, so you have been sowing chaos from behind the scenes for nearly two decades?" Orochimaru made a mock reverence. "I am impressed. And now you are up for a repeat performance…"

"I never do the same trick twice," Sasori replied. "This war will be my greatest performance… the total annihilation of the Shinobi World as we know it."

"A worthy goal," his partner nodded. "But tell me, Sasori… why are you a part of this? My motives are a mystery for no one, but you… what could you gain from Pain and his gang? Humans to turn into puppets? Revenge? Or perhaps is it amusement?"

The mad artist snorted. "Your curiosity will kill you one of these days."

"On the contrary, curiosity is the essence of survival, my dear friend of wood." The snake Sannin crossed his arms. "Speaking of survival, how is your investigation going? If you need help to subdue Itachi, I would be glad to lend you a hand."

"Oh, I am certain you would _love _to take over his body as your own," Sasori snorted. "Unfortunately… I have the feeling Itachi is not the only loose cannon we will have to deal with..."

* * *

Once he returned to his office, Danzo was welcomed by an annoying sight.

"Want an apple?" The man told him, presenting a red fruit with his right hand. "You must hungry after all your work. Give in…"

Danzo's expression did not change, although he inwardly desired nothing more than kick that criminal out of his lair and have him hanged. Considering he was probably stronger than the old man and needed to ensure Konoha's safety, the war hawk simply glared at his guest.

"Don't we look like bad guys, the two of us?" The madman chuckled with a fake, childish laugh. "A dark office… _alone_… masked… it screams evil conspiracy."

"I do not care for your mockery, Madara," Danzo snapped, closing the door behind him. "What do you want?"

The masked man snorted, his Sharingan swirling in his one exposed eye socket. "Perhaps I am here to congratulate you for laying such a good trap for Orochimaru. Of course, I helped somewhat, so… where is my reward?"

"Your information was welcomed." Danzo had no idea what kind of sick game the madman was playing, but no doubt it involved destroying Konoha at a point. Why the Uchiha was feeding Root's leader with information was beyond the man's understanding. _Then again, living for a century with the Uchiha's curse… he may not be sane anymore. _"However, I do not remember promising you anything for your cooperation."

"Danzo is a _bad _boy… and a _liar_." The masked man lounged on the desk mockingly. "You owe me Edo Tensei."

The war hawk snorted. They _did _havea bargain involving the technique's secrets, one Danzo had no intention of honoring. "Pain is still alive. As per our alliance, you shall not receive Edo Tensei as long as he breathes."

"Still afraid of Nagato's revenge?" Madara narrowed his Sharingan. "Perhaps you are afraid he will track you down for helping kill his friend? I wonder how Sarutobi would react to this knowledge… or what Pain would do if I convinced him to pay you a visit."

The threat was blatant, and Danzo did his best to ignore it. The war hawk had gladly allowed Madara to 'help' in the destruction of the Uchiha clan, and then sent Itachi to spy on him with the orders to kill him at first opportunity. It was his standard procedure, getting rid of allies before they could turn into threats. Especially considering in spite of Madara's vocal protests of the contrary, Danzo was certain he had a hand in unleashing the Kyuubi on the Leaf.

But the masked Uchiha had seen the betrayal coming and warned if Danzo ever tried to move against him, information about his cover-up of Orochimaru's experiments, his secret interference in Ame, Root's unauthorized operations, and dealings with Madara himself would reach Sarutobi's ears… which would probably result in Danzo's hanging and the disbandment of his organization's shadiest branches.

And while Danzo did not mind dying to keep Konoha peaceful, an ideal he lost his eye and arm for, he and Root were still needed to keep the Leaf safe, especially in such troubled times. A conflict with Sarutobi would weaken the country, and had to be avoided at all costs.

Fortunately Madara, although one of the main members of Akatsuki, apparently did not hold Pain in high regard, and did not bother hiding some important facts from Itachi, who he _had_ to suspect of treason. In fact, the masked criminal sometimes informed the Root leader of some of Akatsuki's newest plans, illogical actions that were impossible for Danzo to understand.

_Either he __loves__ pointless chaos like Orochimaru, _Danzo guessed, _or he is playing a game I have yet to grasp. _"No dead Pain, no Edo Tensei."

"You are a harsh friend, Danzo…" Madara teleported behind the war hawk purely for amusement. "You gotta give me a bone, or you will find me poor in info next time Pain prepares to screw you over. Or perhaps I should inform little Sasuke of our arrangement…"

"I paid you that… _service_… with the Sharingan of the massacre's victims." Not _all _of them, of course, but a sizable quantity. Danzo had been wise enough to keep a third of them and have his scientists try to reverse-engineer the bloodline. "Isn't it enough?"

"Of course not." Madara vanished with a breeze and reappeared, his back turned on Danzo. The opportunity to strike was golden, but the Shimura knew better than try. Obviously it was a trap. "I want Sasuke."

"I promised Itachi I would not lay a hand on him," Danzo replied, although once again, he had no intention of holding this bargain. Should Itachi prove to be unreliable, his brother's life would be on the balance to ensure he did not switch sides.

"Oh? So the king of liars is going to fulfill a dying man's wish? How hypocritical." The criminal mused. "Itachi has tuberculosis, and not long to live. You better find a more believable excuse."

Danzo snorted. Whether or not Itachi was indeed dying did not change a thing. "Give me Orochimaru, and I will consider your proposal."

"Afraid he'll reveal your secrets to foreign nations?" Madara glared at his foe potently. "You think the shadows protect you, fool, but they only make it easier for your enemies to fight you. One day… you shall be forced to step into the light, and none of your knowledge will protect you from the wrath of your own pawns."

"Is it a threat?"

"It is a prophecy." The Uchiha warped space around his eye, vanishing into a hole. "A snake for an Uchiha? A trade I shall consider…"

The war hawk glanced at his desk. The red apple had been placed on it.

No doubt it was poisoned.

* * *

"Explain to me," Yugao began, wearing civilian clothing, "Why do you intend to leave Konoha for hours, days after a failed kidnapping attempt?"

"I need herbs for a medical procedure and they aren't available on the market," he answered with tact. "Since Orochimaru now knows the old man can track me down anytime, I doubt he will try anything so close to the Leaf. Besides… I trust you to ensure my safety."

The woman rolled her eyes, much to Naruto's amusement. He had been quite happy when the Hokage had assigned her as a constant watcher. Anko was going to be unavailable for days being introduced to her division in the ANBU. Yugao was a good buddy to hang out with, and a friend's presence would be good for her.

After leaving Anko's celebration, Naruto had discovered Yugao's home, a small apartment in Konoha's outskirts. It was smaller than the blonde's own, but the genin suspected the woman also had quarters in whatever building hiding the ANBU's HQ. That, and apparently, the neighborhood apartment belonged to Kakashi Hatake.

He figured the team would stick together.

A coffee later, they had parted ways and Naruto had entered his laboratory, intending to do something he had in mind for some time: examine the Samsara.

The ninja wasn't dumb enough to test the product without learning what it contained, and although his equipment wasn't as advanced as Konoha's hospital, it was enough to do some guesswork on a few of the solution's components. Mysterious enzymes, chemical muscle enhancers…

And human cells.

Besides the obvious no-no of having an unknown individual's DNA in his body, Naruto was curious about its source. The herbs should help him isolate these cells from the rest of the solution, and perhaps allow the identification of the donor.

The sound of shouting at the town's gates snapped the blonde out of his thoughts.

"I told you," a guard protested to a giant in red armor and a green-haired teen, "I have no idea who you're talking about!"

The giant lowered his head and muttered something to his partner's ears. "Han says it's the one town he could have stopped by," she said.

"He doesn't speak common language?"

The giant whispered once again to the girl's ear. "He does," she explained, "But not to _you_."

"Would someone explain me what's going on?" Yugao asked, as the guard's jaw dropped in shock.

"They have been pestering me for hours!" The Konoha-nin protested. "It's as if they feed on my annoyance!"

"The Han requires no misery to survive," the giant spoke out loud with a deep, regal voice, "The Han feeds on the fear he inspires. And sometimes the blood of his enemies."

"You're lying," the girl snorted, "I saw you eat noodles when you thought I wasn't looking."

"You dreamed, but the Han does not blame you. Being around the Han for too long can cause awesomeness-induced hallucinations or a pathological desire to worship the ground the Han walks on. Sometimes both."

_Alright, why is everyone I meet either a psycho or a weirdo? _"Look, the Han… since being around you is harmful," Naruto started off slowly, "Why don't you tell us what do you want so we can resolve this issue nice and quick."

"Naruto-kun," Yugao coughed, "I don't think he's sane-"

"The Han is pleased to meet someone with a brain," the giant cut in. "The Han is looking for a red-haired drunkard who probably assaulted the nearest bar with lava and smoke, perhaps without pants."

"He's looking for a friend," the girl translated. "I'm Fuu, and he's called Han. Please ignore his antics. Preferably by not talking to him."

Naruto pitied her for a second. Being around that guy must be a constant challenge for one's nerves. "I'm Naruto, and the dark beauty here is Yugao." The woman smiled briefly at the compliment. "From what I've got, you're looking for a drunkard."

"Roshi, an old man apparently with an attraction for all things alcoholic. Also likes to smoke with a pipe." Fuu coughed. "Han says he can fly at 5 million miles an hour and shoot a laser beam called Kamehameha from his hands, but I think he's just messing with me."

_It's confirmed, the guy is completely out of his gourd. _"And what make you think he could have stopped at Konoha?" Naruto asked.

"Han thinks he stopped for a drink, resulting in him missing his meeting with his friend." Fuu shrugged. "Han is worried."

"The Han thinks Roshi might have stopped to meet the Nine Tails' Jinchuuriki," the giant said, locking eyes with Naruto. "Did he approach you?"

The temperature dropped heavily, as both Yugao and Naruto glanced at Han in a mixture of worry and horror. _How the hell does he-_

"Wait, you're the Kyuubi's container?" Fuu's jaw dropped. "Really?"

"Fear not, we wish you no harm," Han explained, apparently realizing Naruto's expression wasn't the nicest of all. "The Han keeps a dolphin tamed in his belly, and Fu is a green beetle's container."

Yugao stayed still a few seconds. "Alright," she said. "I think the Sandaime will be pretty happy to discuss your problems."

"No pressure though," Naruto promised. "He's nice… well, most of the time."

* * *

**A/N:** thanks ABitterPill and Third Fang for betaing.

It took me so long because I wasn't happy with my first spins on Han and Fuu, so I remade them multiple times until I was satisfied. Since they were the Jinchuuriki with the less screentime, and that I've seen only two stories that really developed them (Fuu in 'The Cost of Living' and Han in 'Yet Again', and in the latter's case it was as a major antagonist), it was basically making them unique characters without any canon or non-canon info to help. I hope the final result is satisfying.

That, and the second Bioshock Infinite was out, I jumped on it. And it is awesome. Sure the ending is left for interpretations, but the storyline and battles are excellent. But the 'bosses' (Handymen, the Siren, Airships, the Motorized Patriots, and the final battle) _WILL_ murder you if you're not careful or low on ammo.

Sasori is officially upgraded to major bad guy material. I thought with the mysteries surrounding him (the murder of the Kazekage, starting the Third Shinobi War, brainwashed agents in Suna and Konoha...) and his ability to brainwash others, he could make a truly dangerous villain if used right. The trigger phrase is of course a nod to the first Bioshock game. Heck, all of Atlas is filled with nods to the Bioshock series.

I considered expanding Tayuya's role before realizing she was already used in too many stories, and I would better give her screentime to Fuu or Yugao.

Tobi is going to be slightly more unstable than in canon... alright, he _is_ insane in canon (between having a volatile sense of identity, being delusional, and trying to destroy a town on a whim), but here it's going to be more obvious (and at times, disturbing). He's just less good at hiding his madness.

I'm a bit disappointed the recent flashback arc did not expand on how Hashirama met Mito (and how she became a Jinchuuriki), but I guess it leaves me more room to alter the backstory.

Would you kindly leave a review before leaving?


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** reading this means you're awesome.

* * *

_**Chapter Six:**_

_**Pulling the Strings**_

Sarutobi was growing too old for this.

"So, Fuu-san, Han-san-"

"_The _Han, Hokage-sama. With a _the_."

"The Han-san," the Hokage corrected himself, refraining the urge to slam his head against his desk. "I am sorry to say Roshi was not sighted anywhere near Konoha. This is a shame, but I cannot help you."

"The Han is disappointed," the giant madman whispered with a deep voice. "But the Han is content to have met the Nine Tails' vessel. He is a good boy."

"I'm right here!" Naruto complained, sulking in a corner. "And how did you know about me?"

"The Tsuchikage gave your photo to the jounin of the Village," the Han snorted. "They had orders to kill you on sight if possible should they run across you, as enemy Jinchuuriki are by default considered S-Rank threat to national security."

While the blonde blanched, Sarutobi was barely surprised. After all, he himself had sent spies to monitor foreign demon vessels. His spies in Iwa, however, failed to mention the Gobi's… peculiar personality. Fuu's jaw dropped. "You're a jounin?"

"No. The Han never made it past Chuunin, but the Tsuchikage thought the Han, as awesomely powerful and marvelously spectacular as he was, would better be ready to fight Konoha's own demon weapon." The giant shrugged. "Sucker."

Sarutobi wasn't privy in the circumstances that had led to the Gobi's desertion, and to be honest, he doubted the demon vessel would ever enlighten the old man. "However, I must ask you something… are you _certain _these letters were from Roshi?"

"The writing was his own," Han shrugged. "Why is the Hokage doubtful? Is there something the Han should know?"

The old man glanced at the people present in his office. Naruto, Fuu, Han, and Yugao. The first three were directly concerned, and the last one could be trusted. The Hokage briefly hesitated, before deciding perhaps it was time to share some information. "What I am about to reveal you is extremely sensitive."

The four ninja tensed slightly, ready to listen. Sarutobi inhaled from his pipe sharply, releasing its smoke into a small cloud. "The information will not be made public, but multiple attempts to abduct Jinchuuriki have happened in the past few months. We suspect at least one, Kirabi from Cloud, has been captured and his Bijuu forcefully extracted." The Raikage's attempts at recovering his brother had not been especially subtle, although he had no idea who or what was the source of the kidnapping. "The Sanbi and the Rokubi might have been captured as well, but the information as of this moment unconfirmed. And then in the last weeks, Naruto, here present, has been the victim of such an attempt."

"Orochimaru?" Naruto frowned. "He's trying to collect the Bijuu?"

"The organization he belongs to," Sarutobi corrected, drawing everyone's attention. While Han and Fuu were foreigners, the infamous reputation of the Hokage's former student was international in scoop. "Has any of you heard of 'Akatsuki'."

Han, surprisingly nodded. "They're a band of S-Rank missing-nins secretly working as mercenaries for the Tsuchikage," he explained. "He offered them lands in exchange for their service, if the Han remembers. It was one of the Sandaime's dirty little secrets the Han uncovered."

Sarutobi filed the little tidbit of information in a corner of his mind for a later use. He had briefly considered informing the rest of the Kage of the threat presented by Akatsuki, but apparently, at least a few of them were working with Pain. Which was bad news for the future. "This is a cover for much more nefarious purposes. The Akatsuki is an international crime syndicate working to topple the current powers of the ninja world… and they have a particular interest in the Tailed Beasts. Their members include, among others, my renegade student Orochimaru, Deidara of the Rock, and Kakuzu of the Waterfall."

"Kakuzu? _The _Kakuzu?" Fuu gasped, as if the man was some kind of boogeyman. Which wasn't surprising, since the man had a nasty hobby of hunting Taki-nin and looting them afterward. "The Heart Reaper?"

"The Han is not surprised the psycho bomber decided to work for an anti-government faction," the giant shrugged. "He always liked his explosions loud and flashy."

"Currently, our information on Akatsuki is truly limited," Sarutobi scoffed, "And as such no coordinate international response is in the works. The Jinchuuriki are completely unprotected for the time being. I would suggest you to travel together or stay in cities instead of wandering alone in the wilderness."

"Roshi might be threatened…" Han crossed his arms. "The Han must inform him."

"Hey, if you want to stay in the Village, my door is open," Naruto pointed out cheerfully. "It would be an honor for me to welcome you under my roof for a few days."

Han and Fuu locked eyes briefly, before the girl bowed respectfully. "Thank you very much! We won't be too bothersome I promise! Well… in _my _case anyway…"

"The Han is going to honor you with his presence," the giant told him, before grabbing both teens by the collar and dragging them outside. "But first, the Han wants to go on a walk!"

Sarutobi grinned briefly at Naruto's discomfort, before glancing at Cat. "Please stay here for a minute," he told her.

"Hokage-sama?"

"Did Han say anything else of note on Naruto?" As the ANBU shook her head, Sarutobi shrugged and dismissed her. "Keep an eye on them. They may be unaffiliated with our enemies, but it does not mean they are allies."

As the woman vanished with a shunshin, the Hokage frowned.

If Onoki knew about Naruto's demon… did he know about his family's legacy as well?

* * *

This was going to be a _long _day.

"That's Ichiraku's," Naruto explained, continuing the visit. "The best Ramen stand of the town. You wanna eat? Go there." He stopped briefly, upon realizing Han wasn't listening. "Han?"

"_The _Han." The giant was writing a letter, which he rolled into a scroll. "Here we go."

"That's a message for Roshi?" Fuu asked.

"A warning about Akatsuki and a demand he hurries meet the Han in Konoha," the ninja replied, before beginning a jutsu, cutting his finger to get some blood. "The Han's Beautiful Summoning!"

Apparently, his inflated opinion of himself applied to his techniques as well. As he slammed his hands to the ground, Naruto narrowed his eyes, curious. As the smoke vanished, he prepared to see what kind of creature the Han could summon.

… it turned out to be a dove. With a strange engine on its back. As both Fuu and Naruto face palmed, the giant gave it the message. "Bring this to Roshi and then his answer," he said, as the bird caught the scroll with its claws.

Suddenly, the engine on the bird's back activated… and in a deafening explosion sound, it sent the dove high in the skies, where he vanished before the other Jinchuuriki could blink.

"You… _you put a reactor on a dove_?" Naruto's jaw dropped, amazed by the insane action.

"The Han prefers the term of flying feathered dinosaur," the red man shrugged. "To answer your previous questioning, no, the Han does no feed on ramen, but on fear."

"Liar," Fuu crossed her arms. "Anyway, I admit I'm not such a fan of ramen… or eating, in fact. Is there a training ground nearby? Or organized tournaments?"

"Tournaments? There is the Chuunin Exams that is scheduled to start tomorrow, but I doubt you can enter it." Many foreign genin teams had already arrived with their instructors, forcing the Inuzuka police force and the ANBU to patrol the streets repeatedly. Even the Ichiraku's was crowded.

"You don't do tournaments in Konoha?" Fuu raised her eyebrows. "In Taki, genins, chuunins, and jounins do scheduled tournaments every three days to keep their skills sharp."

"Konoha prefers building its teams, cooperation exercises, and D-missions for this," Naruto told her. "The Leaf thinks organized competition leads to resentment and in-fighting." As she lowered her head in disappointment, he decided to cheer her up. "But we can beat up each other, if you want. There's a place called the Forest of Death dedicated to that."

"I'm afraid this is impossible," Yugao told them, as she manifested next to them with a shunshin. "The Forest will be the place where the second part of the Exams is going to take place. The ANBU closed the place until the end of the Exams." She crossed her arms. "However, the Third Training Ground is unoccupied, as far as I know."

Fuu frowned slightly at the arrival of the newcomer. "You're an ANBU, right?" she guessed, although Yugao was wearing formal clothing and hadn't her mask over her face. "Are you his handler?"

As both Naruto and Yugao frowned, Han decided to enlighten them. "It is a custom for most Jinchuuriki to have an ANBU watching them all the time, to prevent them from releasing their Bijuu and going on a rampage," he explained. "The Han had many, but for some obscure reasons they always ran away from the Han. Strange."

Naruto had a fairly good idea why, but kept his mouth shut. "Nah, Yugao is a friend, and a bodyguard. I almost got kidnapped some time ago by Orochimaru and Akatsuki, so the Hokage decided to increase my security. Nice stuff."

"What happened to your handler?" Yugao asked Fuu with a frown.

"He… tried to kill me during my sleep," Fuu admitted, "The Nanabi took over and ripped him in half."

Banishing the disturbing image from his mind, Naruto shrugged. "He had it coming," he said, before deciding to switch subject. "Well… why not head to this training ground?"

* * *

Anko's first mission as ANBU was boring and uninteresting. Even her newest awesome snake mask did not improve her mood.

She and her new team had been tasked to investigate on the Genins arriving for the Chuunin Exams. In itself, the mission was important: more than one Hidden Village had tried to disguise Jounin or ANBU among the candidates in the past, to infiltrate their enemies, and with the current international troubles, the Sandaime expected a recrudescence of such actions.

But it was so goddamn annoying it hurt.

Anko lived for excitement, and missions like this were dull. Observe team, check their behavior, see if they were suspect… so far, none had been extraordinary, and the snake woman longed to return to Konoha and meet her student again. The routine was killing her.

Anko was actually surprised by the thought. A few months ago, she wouldn't have thought twice about anyone else but her few friends, who could be counted on one hand… and now she cared about Naruto enough to look forward to seeing him again. Beyond their similar personalities, she guessed they had managed to form a sort of bond over the last few weeks.

Anko banished the thoughts. She had to focus. Her newest target, a team from Kusa, was within sight.

… mangled and laying on the ground, drowning in their own blood.

The ANBU stopped, carefully glanced around her, just in case it was a trap, and upon seeing nothing was wrong, she stepped in to check the bodies. The damage done was… their skin had been ripped off their muscles, harvested for a sinister purpose.

"The face stealing jutsu…" Anko blanched behind her mask. There was only one person sick enough to use this shit and-

"It appears the rumors were true," a cold, emotionless voice reached her ears, nearly causing an heart attack. "You are fond of flirting with death."

* * *

Upon arriving to the training ground, the group learned that, no, it wasn't unoccupied.

"Repeat after me: never apologize when you can criticize!" Tenten told Hinata.

"N-never apologize when you can criticize!"

"You apologize I penalize!"

"Y-you apologize, I penalize!"

"You're getting better," the weapon master nodded confidently. She pointed an index at a perfect copy of Hiashi Hyuuga. "Now I want you to hit this Bunshin with everything you have. Kick him between the legs."

"B-but it's my-"

"He treats you like a pushover, so give him the once-over!" Tenten shouted the slogan, and Hinata timidly approached… before kicking the Bunshin as hard as she could, looking like she was enjoying herself.

"That's the spirit!" Tenten nodded, creating a new clone to replace the old one. "Now you're going to call him out on everything he ever did to you-" It was at this moment she noticed the newcomers. "Oh, hey Naruto! Who are these guys? Your new team?"

"It's… complicated, but they're friends," the blonde grinned, as Hinata shyly waved at him. "I see you're taking her training seriously. Nice…"

"Oh, and I'm working on your debt," Tenten chuckled maliciously. "Come to see me after the second part of the Exam. My team and Hinata's are going to obliterate the competition."

"I see…" Naruto crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping she wouldn't turn him into a guinea pig or something worse. "Euh… do you intend to keep the training ground? We were hoping to spar between each other."

"Nah, we're going to relocate." Tenten grabbed Hinata by the collar and dragged her away. "Don't forget to introduce your new friends to me next time!"

"I like her," Fuu whispered. "She's your girlfriend?"

"No, but I consider her one of my best friends." The Nanabi's vessel seemed slightly disappointed he didn't flush or something. _You green-haired sadist. _"Anyway, you want a fight or not?"

"Perhaps we should do the traditional introduction first, since you're going to stay there for a few days," Yugao suggested. "Likes, dislike, hobbies, goals in life."

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki," the blonde gave the example, "I like ramen, the orange color, chemistry, weapons, and my pals. I dislike pricks, laziness, and when Anko decides to train me. My hobbies are training, pulling pranks, inventing stuff that never works, botany, blowing up walls, and going on walks with my platypus. My new goal in life is to one day kick the Hokage's ass, which I'm working on."

"Who's this Anko?" the Han asked. "Someone nice?"

"You've got a _platypus _as pet?" Fuu raised her eyebrows. "You're… alright. Just alright."

"I'm totally _not _going to answer any of these questions."

"My name is Yugao Uzuki," the woman cut in, ignoring the blonde. "I like sword fighting, cats, and reading. I dislike smoke and parties. My hobbies are viewing the moon, sharpening my skills, and collecting rare blades. My goal in life is currently to kill a certain person."

Naruto didn't need a memo to guess who it was. Han snorted. "The Han is the Han. Not Han, _the _Han. The Han likes drawings, paintings, and racing against fast people. The Han dislikes Iwa and waiting. His hobbies are painting, catching, and trying to solve the greatest questions in life. His goal in life is to answer these questions."

"… which is?" Naruto fearfully asked.

"Is the world born to welcome the Han, or is the Han born to enlighten the world?" The giant crossed his arms. "Why is the Han wonderful and marvelous when others are not? Why is the Han so awesome? Could it be possible the world exists for the Han only?"

Three people loudly palmed their face in unison.

"Anyway," Fuu shrugged. "I'm Fuu. I like fighting things, especially when they fight back, and flying when the Nanabi lets me do it. I dislike what most girls like, aka fashion, shopping… my hobbies are collecting headbands of defeated foes, and traveling. My goal in life is to become the strongest kunoichi ever by wasting everyone else."

She slammed her fist against her palm. "So let's go."

* * *

"Nice apartment," Fuu commented, upon sitting around the table. "You own the entire building?"

"I'm hoping to turn it into a casino next," he deadpanned, putting ointment over his bruises. "I've got beds ready in the other rooms. In case you want to take a rest." He handed her the herbal ointment. "You should use it. It's extremely effective, and I made it myself."

Fuu groaned and accepted it. She was equally bruised, although most of the blows had come from Han instead of Naruto.

The blonde shuddered. He had thought the guy's ego was inflated, but as it turned, he _could _back his boasting up. Han was basically Gai by another name. No distance attacks, only punches and kicks… strong enough to shatter bones and dished out at the speed of lightning.

Han could use steam-based jutsu to propel himself, create a mist to hide his moves, and power up his blows. Naruto and Fuu had fought him together every time and had been promptly wasted during most encounters. Han had shrugged off their hits as if they were nothing, and the blonde had considered using explosive tags, although it was merely a spar.

The record was currently three to one in Han's favor, Naruto having managed to sedate him during a fight, while Fuu had blinded him with her special powder. Together, they had managed to subdue the man, while Yugao had cheered them on from the sidelines. But both teens knew in a serious fight, Han could have probably crushed their skulls without much effort.

Fuu herself was no pushover either. Naruto was fairly certain she could give some jounin a run for their money, although her fighting style didn't focus on pure power. Instead, she relied on blinding powder to dazzle her opponents, before using it as a combustible agent next. She had mastered at least a few Fire and Wind techniques, and her agility allowed her to dodge most attacks. Like Tenten, she was heavily oriented toward fighting from distance.

Having experience with that kind of opponent, Naruto had managed to tie, the record being of two wins for each of them. Fuu was fairly dangerous, yes, but she had little to no experience fighting against a trap-oriented ninja who could trick her and launch surprise attacks.

Yugao had fought each of the three Jinchuuriki separately and won against Fuu and Naruto, while she tied against Han. Using a dulled training sword to avoid inflicting serious harm, she was a truly dangerous opponent, who relied mostly on speed and lighting-fast strikes to stun her enemies, and using occasional Wind-techniques to push away the dust and steam the Jinchuuriki could produce. If she had been allowed to use her sharpened tanto, there would have been a lot of blood.

"Why didn't you use jutsu?" Fuu's question snapped Naruto out of his thoughts. "You never once used illusions nor ninjutsu. Why?"

"It's…" The Kyuubi's vessel interlaced his fingers. "The Nine Tailed Fox… kinda destroyed my chakra network when I was young. It wanted to screw with me as petty revenge for its imprisonment, and make me dependant on it. It granted me advanced regeneration, true, but… he crippled my ninja skills."

Both Han and Fuu glanced sadly at him. "Your Bijuu is a jerk," the giant pointed out.

"The understatement of the century." Naruto shrugged. "And yours?"

"The Nanabi is pretty passive," Fuu scratched the back of her head. "It is a destructive creature, make no mistake, but it doesn't bother to attack people unless directly threatened. It reacts violently to threats, but most of the time, it just wants to fly, eat, and sleep, or hold civil conversations when bored. The golden powder I use was an ability it passed to me so I could properly defend both of us against assassinations."

"The Gobi is the Han's sidekick," the former Iwa-nin proudly boasted. "It gives the Han its steam, the Han teaches it how to be cool with the cosmos."

"I see…" In truth, Naruto had no intention of learning what the giant meant by that. It was probably too weird for his sanity to handle and remain intact.

"The Han has to ask you something," the giant said. "We're leaving as soon as the Han gets an answer from Roshi. Would you like to travel with us?"

Naruto's jaw dropped at the suggestion. "You mean, going missing-nin?"

"It would be awesome if you could travel with us," Fuu nodded cheerfully. "Plus, it wasn't as if it was risky. Your fox may be an ass, but the two of us could shield you from pursuers. With Roshi, we could probably fend off this 'Akatsuki' anytime."

Naruto wasn't as confident, and the Han probably noticed it, for he locked eyes with the teen. "The Han noticed the many glares you received from passer-by," he spoke with his usual guttural tone. "The Han doubts you would be missed, or miss this place. Wouldn't it be better if you were to join people who can accept you for what you are?"

"It's… tempting, but I must refuse." The boy scratched the back of his head and grinned. "It's true I'm not liked here… but I _have _real friends who do not mind the Kyuubi. Not many, yes, but I want to keep my bonds with them. That, and Orochimaru is not to be underestimated. It would be safer for me to stay in the Leaf to hone my skills."

Both Jinchuuriki looked somewhat disappointed, and an opening door interrupted the conversation. "Naruto, I've a message from the Hokage," Yugao Uzuki said. "You're going to be among the proctors for the Chuunin Exams tomorrow."

The news made him jump on place. "But I'm only a genin!"

"Sarutobi-sama believes your evaluation skills will partly affect your promotion to chuunin," Yugao scoffed. "That, and he is worried. The teams present come from Konoha, Suna, Kiri, and a few minor Villages… and he wants you to observe them. With the current political climate and both the Kazekage and Mizukage arriving in town after the second part, he does not desire any incidents."

"Alright…" The reasoning made sense. Some teams from Suna might react badly, especially the news of the massacre had been made public. Most of the population wanted an explanation, and a large part of it, blood. "I've prepared your bed by the way. Since you're going to 'guard me' for a long time…"

"Thanks."

"Could the Han be a proctor?" The giant attracted everyone's attention. "The Han thinks it would be nice, and the Han and Fuu can be good at the job."

The question amazed everyone present, especially Yugao. "I will ask the Hokage," she said.

Naruto frowned slightly. What did the giant have in mind?

* * *

"_You're _a proctor, Naruto? How?"

"Because I'm better than you and kicked your ass," Naruto told Sakura, as the different teams each sat behind a desk for the written exam. He relished in the kunoichi's infuriated reaction, which made his day. "I hope you appreciate the irony. You had better written results than myself… except now it's _me _who's going to test _you_!"

"How can we be sure you won't favor anyone?" Someone from Kiri asked.

"Oh, don't be naive," Naruto pointed a finger at the different watchers. "This one from your Village is the uncle of a participant. The Suna proctor is the instructor of one team present here. And let's not talk about the rest of them. _Everyone_ is going to be guilty of favoritism… but as long as you behave and do not cheat, none of us will have the legal evidences to act upon it." He grinned sadistically. "Don't worry. I'm going to keep your back in sight…"

The genin closed his mouth and did his best to go unnoticed.

"No one from Taki…" Fuu whispered to his ear. She had traded her former slashed headband for a Konoha forehead protector. "They aren't participating?"

"Nah. Kumo and Iwa organized their own Exam and Taki decided to participate in that one instead." As Ibiki Morino finished explaining the rules and distributing the tests, both teens focused.

As expected, everyone cheated, some better than others. Naruto repressed a grin upon seeing his former classmates blatantly violate the rules. Hinata and Neji used their Byakugan; Sasuke the Sharingan; Ino took over Sakura's body to see her answers, as the latter was smart enough to figure the answers on her own; Sai used ink-based ninjutsu to copy the answers of the chuunin infiltrating the classroom; Tenten, that resourceful smartass, had secretly placed a mirror system on the ceiling to steal answers both for herself and the helpless Lee; Shino had his insects steal answers from him, as Kiba did with Akamaru.

Of course, Naruto ignored these attempts. The old man had been clear: the watchers from Konoha had orders not to penalize their countrymen or the ninjas whose lands were allied with the Leaf. Of course, the proctors from the other Villages had obviously received similar instructions.

Shikamaru and Chouji bothered him the most, however. None of them had written anything since they were put side by side. Either they were lazy or…

_The Nara figured it out and informed Chouji as soon as he could, _Naruto realized, guessing Ino was too far away to have received the info. Due to secret rules, anyone could pass if he stayed for the tenth question… meaning the two would pass without having to write anything. _I have the feeling Shikamaru at least is going to make Chuunin by the end of this ordeal…_

Other teams were noteworthy. A guy from Suna could manipulate sand to spy on others, while his teammate used a puppet to transfer information to the girl of the group. A Kiri-nin could turn his body into water to steal a copy…

And a Kusa-nin was glancing at both Naruto and Fuu.

The gaze was especially disturbing. The boy's emotionless face betrayed no intent, but the eyes conveyed pure, deadly fascination. The blonde shuddered when the boy switched targets, answering the test's questions as if they were a little inconvenience instead of the insanely hard problems they were supposed to be. His teammate, who looked like a transsexual, noticed the Jinchuuriki duo as well and faked a kiss, creeping them out.

"Better keep an eye on those two," the Kyuubi's vessel told his friend.

She nodded, before smirking. "I noticed a lot of cheating here. Wanna see which of us can eliminate the most twits?"

"Be my guest."

When the test was over, half the participants had been expelled. And a quarter of the teams owed it to Fuu and Naruto. "You won," the girl admitted. "It was a close call, but you got one more team than me."

"You weren't bad at all," he chuckled, as their victims sent them one last glare before leaving. Ibiki finished acting out his comedy play, and later, explained the hidden motives of the test. "Three, two, one-"

The window exploded into shards, and steam filled the room. Many genin put themselves on guard, before the mist dissipated, revealing a familiar giant.

"The marvelously beautifully awesomely wonderful _GOD_ known as the Han shall explain your next test!" The Gobi's vessel proclaimed loudly, having written his name with red paint on the wall behind him... and over the top of a few frozen examiners. "Battles to the death in the Forest… of DEATH! Blood will be shed! Bears will eat your intestines! And the proctors shall gamble on who dies! Which will be everybody who doesn't exit this classroom in the next minute!" He cracked his fists. "DEATH!"

Instantly, the qualified teams exited the place as fast as they could, running away from the crazy Jinchuuriki. As he saw them leave, Naruto proudly waved at his former classmates. They had all managed to pass.

The Kusa team as well.

"Hey, the Han," Naruto asked him, once the proctors were the only ones left. "Why did you ask to be a proctor? Tell me the reason."

"Did you notice the red-haired tanuki who could control sand?" As Naruto nodded, the giant explained himself. "He's Gaara, the Ichibi's vessel. The Han got info on him before he left Iwa, and wanted to examine him."

The teen blinked briefly, before correcting his expression. "He looks quite cold."

"The rumors said he was mad, and the Han wanted to confirm them or not." The giant shrugged. "The Han wants to speak with him, if he turns out to be a nice guy."

"I see…" Naruto frowned. "Did you receive info about one of the Kusa-nin teams? One duo especially disturbs me."

As the Han shook his head, the ninja got a bad feeling about it.

* * *

"This is boring!" Fuu complained loudly, as the Jinchuuriki trio waited before the screens. "It has been one hour and no amazing fight yet!"

"Guess we will have to wait a bit." Naruto shrugged. "Wasn't Gaara's 'fight' awesome enough?" he deadpanned.

The girl shuddered. As it turned out, the rumors of his mental instability _weren't _rumors. The guy had gruesomely slaughtered a team from Ame, _after _they had surrendered their scroll to him. And if his face was to be believed, the Suna-nin had deeply enjoyed the experience. Perhaps in a sexual way.

Han had decided not to get anywhere near him.

"Ah, my shining friend, here you are!" Gai loudly announced as he opened the room's door, a big grin written over his face. "Salutations! I see you have brought new youthful friends to the party!"

"Gai-sensei!" Naruto politely waved at him, before giving a light tap to the other Jinchuuriki. "This is Fuu, and the Han. The Han, Fuu, this is Gai, the strongest taijutsu user in Konoha."

"The Han heard of him," the giant said, "He was the champion of the international wrestling league before retiring to teach. An example for all of us."

"Oh, a fellow taijutsu user?" Gai gave them the nice guy pose. "If you wish, we can make the fires of your hard work shine like the sun!"

"The Han is pleased to see you have such wonderful friends, Naruto," the former Iwa-nin said.

"Oh no…" Fuu almost cried. "There are two of them!"

"It sucks to be sane," Naruto confirmed. "Hey, Gai-sensei, congratulations! Your team passed with flying colors!"

"Indeed! I am so proud of them… one year of tireless work paid off." He sat next to the trio, smiling. "I hope they will all make Chuunin. They all deserve such a promotion."

"Those three together will probably waste anyone in their way to the tower," Naruto whispered. "Except perhaps Gaara. But they're in opposite areas on the map, so a confrontation is highly unlikely."

"I told them to seek-out Kakashi's team in priority!" Gai chuckled happily. "This way, I shall prove to my rival my students are better than his!"

That shouldn't be too hard. In serious combat, Team Gai was a juggernaut, and while Sasuke was very good, the Sharingan wouldn't be enough to keep up with Lee. Sai would be a difficult opponent, if Naruto's suspicions were correct then he would keep his strength hidden to deal with more dangerous threats to the Uchiha's life.

"Speaking of Lee…" Naruto pointed a finger at one of the screens. "It appears he has engaged an opponent."

The green wild beast of Konoha was currently dodging explosive kunai, while Neji and Tenten were hiding in the trees, using their teammate as bait to catch their attacker. "Their enemies seem fond of bows," Fuu pointed out, as arrows flew before the camera.

Naruto found the scene strange, but couldn't explain why… until the attacker walked into the camera's field of view. He was an archer, clad in a camouflage outfit… one of _Naruto's_.

Team Lee was fighting _him_.

"The hell?" Fuu voiced his thoughts. "What's happening?"

Naruto frowned, and focused. These moves… these reactions… "I get it," he told the three others, "It's the recording of one of our old training sessions. Someone messed with the camera of the area to fool the watchers. Pretty wicked."

Gai instantly dropped his usual cheerful demeanor and adopted a serious pose. "This means something bad is happening," he whispered, "Something the responsible party does not want the Hokage to know."

"Gai-sensei, you would better warn the rest of the jounin," Naruto told him, "Fuu, the Han, you wanna see what's going on first? If we hurry, we could interrupt whatever is happening, and then get back-up later."

The two Jinchuuriki simply nodded and rose up from their seats.

* * *

Sasuke could never forget this scent. Blood. Fresh blood. _His _blood.

Sakura had fallen first, her body torn apart by a volley of explosive kunai. Sai and Sasuke had managed to last slightly longer, the former showing depths of talent the Uchiha had never suspected. His paintings grew to colossal size and in combination with fireballs, the duo seemed, for a brief instant, to have turned the tide of the battle in their favor.

Their attacker shattered the illusion the hard way. By tearing Sai in half with pressurized water, before burning his remains with a flamethrower. And then he assaulted Sasuke in close combat.

While Sasuke simply wasn't good enough to block the blows, each powerful enough to shatter his bones, the Sharingan kept track of each and every strike. The first broke his left arm, as he tried to block. A kick dislocated the bones in his right leg. And two punches ravaged his chest and face.

The last blow had been powerful enough to dislocate Sasuke's jaw.

Strings of chakra restrained him against a tree's trunk, preventing him from moving. "Easy, Sasori," a man with a deathly pale skin and reptilian golden eyes whispered softly. "That may be my new vessel you're damaging there."

"You will find a better one, Orochimaru," the vicious ninja snorted. It was a redhead teenager looking slightly older than Naruto, with beautiful, yet cold, green eyes. Both he and his partner were wearing black cloaks and hoods. "This Uchiha is nothing impressive. I'm beginning to wonder if Itachi was truthful when he told us he spared him for being a waste of his time."

Sasuke's rage awakened at the mention of his hated brother, but the pain prevented him from acting upon it. Orochimaru of the Sannin chuckled at the spectacle. "For an Uchiha who wasn't trained in the use of the Sharingan by relatives and forced to study under that failure Kakashi, he is remarkably dangerous. He has potential, which Sarutobi-sensei foolishly let go to waste."

"Well, I guess it is time for Tobi to pinpoint our location and evacuate us," the puppeteer shrugged. "I do not like to wai-" He stopped.

Orochimaru grinned wickedly, which alarmed Sasuke. "Naruto-kun…" he said to the bushes mirthfully, "It is truly bad of you to listen in on private discussions. And insulting of our skills."

The Uchiha heard a groan, and much to his surprise, Naruto Uzumaki walked into sight, looking positively annoyed he had been noticed so easily. Sasuke wanted to shout him to flee as fast as he could, but he couldn't even open his lips. "So… two S-Rank missing-nin ganging up on a genin team…" he glanced at the mauled remains of Team 7. "You're not really big on fair-play are you?"

"The single most important rule in battle is to win, point," Sasori replied, turning on himself to better face the newcomer. "But you know this the best, out of all of us, don't you? I guess it runs in the family." He glared at Orochimaru. "I told you not to attract his attention with your mockeries."

"Admit it, the face he did upon seeing me fake a kiss was priceless," the snake chuckled.

"So you _were _the creepy Kusa-nin… I'm very curious how you managed to keep your disguise for so long and did not pay me a visit…" Naruto glared at Sasori in distaste. "The displeasure is all mine… cousin."

* * *

**A/N: **thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

I originally planned to add a scene with Han giving a pimp slap to Orochimaru before the Second Part, but I guess a kiss from the Sannin was creepier.

I think new chapters will be this size instead of the previous 8,000/9,000 words. This way there should be one/two update per month while I work on my other stories.

Would you kindly leave a review?


	7. Chapter 7

The chapter is slightly longer than I thought it would be... oh well. Also, I shamelessly admit the Hinata/Tenten moment was indeed a shout out to My Little Pony. The next chapters will include shout out to works like Pokémon, Saints Row, and Looking for Group. Not in that order.

Thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

**Disclaimer: **reading this means you're awesome.

* * *

_**Chapter Seven:**_

_**Red Sand**_

"You should be more polite in the presence of a relative," Sasori of the Red Sand whispered softly, "For we are among the last of the Uzumaki… and I am the elder one. Respect is lost on the young nowadays."

Naruto was confused, and inwardly, terrified. Confused because he did not understand how the man could look like a teen when he had to be over thirty years old, and terrified because there was no way he could get out of this situation alive on his own. Sasori and Orochimaru together wouldn't need to lift a finger to murder him.

The cruel spectacle offered by the remains of Team 7 was proof enough of that.

Of course, Naruto simply hoped to buy enough time for reinforcements to arrive, or perhaps present an opening for Fuu and Han to exploit. The two containers had managed to stay hidden… either that or the duo of criminals pretended not to have noticed them. "I see you came for Sasuke instead of me," he said with faked jealousy. "And since you work for Orochimaru, I guess the kidnapping attempt on my person was your idea?"

"Yes, although my partner was slightly too… zealous," Sasori glared briefly at the Sannin, who shrugged. "I simply wanted to talk with you, like civilized men. Neither the Samsara nor the blackmail were my doing."

"Then why not talk here and now?"

"So your teammates can sneak up on us and free the Uchiha? When the ANBU are on their way?" It was confirmed, he had seen the ambush coming. "Get out of the leaves before I strike you down with fire. Both of you."

Fuu and Han jumped at Naruto's side, ready to fight. Naruto dropped all pretense of weakness and seized a kunai, calculating the distance between the two groups. "Surprised?"

"Yes. I was astonished to see three Jinchuuriki in Konoha… but one has to be prepared for everything."

Orochimaru shrugged. "It was our lucky day, indeed. Tell me, Naruto-kun, what do you want? We have no desire to fight… we will simply leave with the Uchiha and come for you later. I promise you we shall not kill Sasuke-kun."

"Sorry, but the guy, while a jerk, is a comrade and friend of mine… and I'm pretty sure death isn't the worst thing that can happen as one of your prisoners."

"What are we waiting for then?" Fuu shrugged.

Sasori narrowed his eyes. "If you will not let us go," he began, "Then there is another option: leave with us. Akatsuki would be glad to employ you."

… _is he joking? _Naruto faked surprise. "Akatsuki?"

"Do not take us for fools. Sarutobi-sensei informed you of our existence, did he not?" Orochimaru licked his lips deviously and chuckled. "I am pretty sure he deformed reality to suit his needs. He has always been a tricky monkey."

"Say the war criminal," Naruto shot back. "So what, you're going to pretend you're the good guys?"

"We are above petty notions such as as good and evil." Sasori snorted. "Akatsuki is a community aiming to destroy and replace the Hidden Villages, imposing a one world order over the entire planet. Surely you will be treated better with us than in the wilderness or in this decaying country. Akatsuki will give you the means and training needed to reach your full potential. You want power and authority? You will get it. Wealth, knowledge, money… Akatsuki can offer you the world, in exchange for your allegiance."

"Then why do you abduct the demon vessels?" Fuu pointed out.

"Only those who refuse to join us," Orochimaru grinned. "You can't expect us to take _no _for an answer."

"The Tailed Beasts are the pillars maintaining the balance of power in the ninja world. By uniting nine Jinchuuriki under a single banner, we will topple the Five Kage." Sasori glanced at the different containers. "Ask yourself. What did the Hidden Villages do for you? They send hunters after you, treat you like tools to be discarded and replaced as they see fit. Wouldn't your life be better if they were wiped off the maps? Don't you want them to pay for what they did to you?"

"The Han doesn't care for the political shit," the giant said. "The Han wants to learn what you did to Roshi."

"Who?" Orochimaru raised an eyebrow, sounding genuinely surprised. "I do not know who you're talking about."

The former Iwa-nin frowned. "Lies."

Sasori snorted and locked eyes with Naruto. "And you, Naruto? Why don't you join your cousins? Leader-sama simply seeks to complete Uzu's legacy. He is the one, the only one, who can give you the heritage that is rightfully yours by blood. Leader-sama can cure you of your illness, teach you how to control the Kyuubi. I know of your desire to be the best ninja you can possibly be. Akatsuki will help you reach this goal."

A part of him, that always desired to stop being the underdog and prove himself to the world, wanted to say yes… but the cold, reasonable part of his mind reminded him this man was an insane war criminal wanted by Suna for massacring his own countrymen.

Then the realization hit him. "Cousin_s_? As in plural? You don't mean-"

"Oh, so Leader is an Uzumaki?" Orochimaru chuckled. "Interesting."

Ignoring his partner, Sasori continued his discussion with his distant relative. "This is what your grandfather and mother would have wanted," he told the blonde. "You were not old enough to meet our grandfather… but I was. He lived long enough to pass on the knowledge of our clan."

The information caused Naruto to be genuinely surprised. "My… mother?"

"We share the same grandfather, Naruto. He lived a happy life in Uzu, with his daughter, Kushina… until Konoha savagely kidnapped her when she wasn't even five, to create a weapon of war able to tame the Nine Tails. Our grandfather lost the rest of his family in the flood that destroyed his home, and, being denied access to Konoha and his own child, emigrated to Suna. He remarried, and here I am."

"You're lying!" Naruto replied. "Mom can't have been-"

"What do _you _know?" Sasori cut in. "What do you of our clan? Do you think we were wiped out because of sealing techniques everyone had already copied? No, we had unlocked the secrets of the great Sage himself, and we had found-"

At this moment, his and Orochimaru's eyes widened, and they leapt in opposite directions right when Han attempted to crash on them from above. The giant standing next to Naruto vanished into steam, the clone having served as an effective diversion. "Fuu, at the first opportunity, take Sasuke to safety," Naruto told the girl, as Han did not wait for them to attack. Without Sasori's focus, the chakra strings restraining the Uchiha vanished, leaving him vulnerable.

"You idiot you can't take any of these two down alone," Fuu hissed.

"Then hurry to hide Sasuke and return!" He shot back, throwing three kunai upgraded with explosive tags. "The ANBU should crash the party very soon."

"I am sorry to drown your hopes in despair, cousin…" Sasori apologized softly, as he dodged the projectiles without any effort, before pointing his arm toward the Jinchuuriki. "But the Uchiha stays with us."

A cone of fire was produced by his open palm, burning the grass on its way. The trio jumped out of its range, Orochimaru instantly seizing the opportunity to punch Han in the face… and the demon vessel quickly counterattacking with a slap, whose sheer strength send the Sannin to crash on a tree a bit away.

"So you occupied our attention with a clone, so the original could sneak up on us? Futile, but smart." Sasori's arm released a volley of senbon at Naruto, who avoided them. Fuu started releasing her dust in the air, while her blonde comrade memorized the puppeteer's location. "What's next? Ah yes, the blinding powder that doesn't surprise anybody…"

Closing his eyes just as the clearing was filled with bright light, Naruto brought out a knife and raced forward, hoping to capitalize on Sasori's temporary blindness. A powerful kick to the torso, coming out of nowhere, put an end to that hope. Opening his eyes with a groan, the blonde prepared to kill the attacker with a swing-

"The hel-"

A rounded projectile of metal broke his nose and tossed him to the ground. The floating weapon aimed to crush his legs with a new blow, only for the blonde to regain his footing and dodge. The teen raised his head, and observed his new opponent.

It was the Third Kazekage. He had seen his photo in the Bingo Book.

It was his face, it was his body… and the eyes were devoid of life. He was wearing black robes, and his forearms had been reinforced with metals plates. His movements weren't as fluid as they should be, and chakra strings were linking his limbs to Sasori's hand…

Realization hit him with utmost cruelty. "No… you desecrated his corpse…"

Sasori shrugged, uttering his next words with absolute callousness. "He wasn't that hard to kill and collect. His prowess were exaggerated." As Fuu attempted to assault the puppeteer with taijutsu, the disgusting puppet switched target, pushing the girl back with a wall of black sand. "You shouldn't be bothered. His death made the Third Shinobi War possible, and helped avenge our family. You can thank me later-"

Naruto was already at his throat, a kunai in his right hand. "BASTARD!" he shouted with rage, his vision reddened. The Kyuubi's chakra was going wild in his veins, allowing him to cross the gap between the two enemies in the blink of an eye. And in his rage, the Jinchuuriki couldn't care less.

Sasori absentmindedly caught Naruto's right forearm with his hand, stopping the attack easily… and then the blonde launched his left fist forward, aiming for the skull.

A new hand ripped Sasori's cape apart and caught the punch.

Before Naruto could compute what the hell happened, a fourth arm emerged from the puppeteer's shirt and slammed the Uzumaki's torso, at the exact point where the Yondaime's seal was located.

There was no word to describe the pain Naruto experienced at this micro-instant. To his mind, it was as if his very flesh was suddenly put on fire, the demonic chakra in his veins vanishing in a blink, damaging the nerves. His previous superhuman strength was replaced by absolute and sudden weakness.

"No more Nine Tails." Sasori's words were uttered with disturbing calm and serenity. "Which makes you a _nothing_, instead of a _something_."

The palm tightened into a fist and punched Naruto's ribs with the power of a cannonball. Naruto kept a scream of pain in check, as he felt _at least _two ribs shattering. Meanwhile, the hands restraining his arms increased their grip, slowly cracking the bones. "That, cousin, is the difference," Sasori continued, "Between real ninjas, and those who play at being ninjas. The power to inflict pain."

Much to Naruto's surprise, two new arms, bringing the total to six, torn apart the missing-nin's robes and started projecting streams of fire at Fuu, who already was struggling with the Third Kazekage's metal sand. Meanwhile, Orochimaru was pushing back Han with Wind techniques, summoning snakes to keep the Jinchuuriki busy while he bombarded him from long-range.

"This is Leader-sama's power, awarded to me for my services… the power of the Asura Path." Sasori snorted, as Naruto attempted to kick his captor's torso. Each blow obviously hurt the blonde more than the redhead. "Look at you, Naruto. What are you? A pathetic, crippled kid holding on the illusion he can succeed on his own. What's your goal? To be the strongest ninja by will and training alone? You make me laugh. The only way for you to become the best would be to drag others to your level, which is impossible… or cast away all weaknesses."

His third hand caught Naruto's jaw, forcing the blonde to lock eyes with his cousin. "Let me tell you a secret, Naruto. The strength of a ninja is not conditioned by determination. It's conditioned by how far one is willing to go to gain power. I ripped my own flesh apart so I wouldn't admit weakness, while you refused the strength offered to you. Your mind and body are weak. They will stay this way, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise… the only remedy to your weakness is our help. Not your friends, not Konoha, not all the dreams in the world. It's the power _we _can offer… for a price. _This _is the _real _world. The world where the strong prosper and the weak crawl. Like Anko Mitarashi."

Naruto's eyes snapped wide. "Wha-"

"I caught and captured her," Sasori snorted. "Will she live? Will she die? Her fate is yours to decide. When Tobi comes to pick us up, I will make you see the real world. If you don't… I am afraid Mitarashi won't live long. You shall be the catalyst that will allow Leader-sama to drown in fire the old world to bring about a new order… or you shall be dirt under his-"

A green beast hit the puppeteer's torso, sending him to fly away and forcing him to release his hold over the blonde, who fell to his back. The teen could barely identify the creature, as it started to engage the mechanized missing-nin. It was pure green chakra, with the shape of a beetle, using four wings to fly. _Fuu, _he realized. _It's Fuu…_

Naruto's body was wracked with pain, but he refused to lay down. "I'm not weak…" he told himself, as he crawled in a vain attempt to rise up. "I'm not… weak…"

"Fu, fu…. Muttering to oneself now?" Orochimaru's voice was mocking, cruel, and painful for the ears. His hand grabbed Naruto by the collar and forced him to watch the Sannin. "Mmm… I like your eyes. They remind me of my own." He grinned sadistically. "It's decided! I'm going to leave you a gift. You can thank me later… if you survive, that's it."

The last thing Naruto remembered before falling into unconsciousness was a pair of fangs biting his neck.

* * *

He was back in the sewers. Again.

_**"You're weak, boyo."**_

"Shut up," he replied coolly, laying in the water. He wasn't in the mood to listen, and his head hurt like hell. His brain was literally ablaze. "I don't want to talk with you."

_**"You would prefer **_**kit**_**?"**_ the fox mocked him, _**"Admit it, you're pathetic, **_**kit**_**. You think you can survive without me, **_**kit**_**? Look at what happened when this Sasori cut you off from my chakra… you were helpless, **_**kit**_**."**_

"I would have figured something out!" he denied, angrier.

_**"What? You would have asked him nicely to release you? Brought out some little trick he would have shrugged off effortlessly?" **_The Kyuubi licked its fangs predatorily. _**"With my power, you could have saved Anko."**_

The blow was harsh, and hurt as much as if it had been physical. Seeing the boy's distress, the Bijuu continued. _**"I've the power to crush mountains and dry out seas… look at what we could do if we worked together! You could be the strongest ninja of all times! You could crush Akatsuki on your own! Heck, you could take over the world all by yourself! All you have to do is to ask! With your strategic mind and my abilities, nothing would be impossible…"**_

"And then what?" Naruto frowned distastefully. "You're going to make me destroy Konoha?"

_**"What did this place do for you?" **_The fox did not attempt to deny its murderous intentions. _**"Rejected you, treated you like dirt… your Sandaime Hokage used you as a glorified bait! Why would you care if it were gone?"**_

Naruto rose up and glared at the creature. "Just leave me alone."

_**"You can deny it all you want, but I'm the only one that understands you on the entire planet," **_the demonic being snorted. _**"We're alike you and I. And one day… you shall rip this seal off and we shall shake paws."**_

Naruto finally opened his eyes, blinded by the daylight.

"Finally awake?" Sarutobi's voice reached his ears first, but it was Yugao's face he saw first. He briefly glanced around himself, and realized, much to his annoyance, he was in the _exact same hospital room _he ended up after his first encounter with Orochimaru. Beside the Hokage and the ANBU, Han, Fuu and Sasuke were also present. The Uchiha was in a worse shape than the rest, covered with bruises and wearing an hospital robe.

"Yeah…" His neck was burning. The pain was nearly unbearable, and he did his best to ignore it. "What happened? How long was I out of action?"

"Easy," Yugao said. "You were asleep for a day, and you should rest."

"Jinchuuriki are stronger than that," Fuu replied with pride, "You collapsed after Orochimaru bit your neck."

"The pain, coupled with the brutal withdrawal of the Nine Tails' chakra, caused you to pass out," Sarutobi explained calmly. "My student attempted to capture you next, but fortunately, your two fellow hosts managed to hold him and his partner long enough for my forces to join the fray."

"The Han is unhappy they got away," the giant whispered, "That masked freak appeared out of nowhere and teleported away with them."

"Fortunately they failed to get Sasuke and the Bi-" Naruto stopped briefly, and glanced at the Uchiha. "You know, I'm guessing?"

"Hokage-sama saw fit to inform me." Sasuke clenched his jaw, as if his next words were a source of pain. "Thanks. For saving me."

"The injuries you received were severe, but the new influx of chakra provided by the seal helped you recover," Yugao whispered. "The medics did the rest. You should be out of the hospital tomorrow."

"I see…" Naruto blanched suddenly. "Wait, Sasori sealed off the Kyuubi's chakra…" Unfortunately, not enough to cut the connection off completely. "So what provided the chakra?"

Sarutobi and Sasuke both clenched their jaw, and the latter compulsively massaged his neck. The blonde Jinchuuriki immediately understood. "What did Orochimaru put on my neck exactly?"

The Uchiha shrugged off the shoulder of his robe, revealing it. A seal composed of three black curved lines. "You have the same," Yugao explained. "It is one of Orochimaru's Cursed Seals, a special enhancement increasing the physical abilities of the bearer, and giving access to a new chakra reserve. One of our seal masters managed to render the Cursed Seal of Heaven useless, but this one is another model."

"Normally, it feeds on the bearer's chakra upon activation, which results in death nine times out of ten," Sarutobi explained. "Due to your… condition… you are able to survive without chakra, which allowed you to live. The seal produced enzymes and chakra to help you recover, but unfortunately, the effects on the subject aren't documented enough to allow a safe use."

"And everything that comes from Orochimaru is bad news," Naruto said. "What about the Kyuubi?"

"A former student of mine will arrive in the Village very soon to deal with Sasori's modifications." Sarutobi coughed. "Naruto… about Anko…"

"Sasori has her." The admission caught the rest of the group off guard. "He told it to me."

"We will recover her," Yugao promised, narrowed her eyes dangerously. "What do you intend to do?"

"I'm gonna find Anko and kill Sasori, in that order if possible," the blonde replied with a strangely serene voice. "Even if it takes me decades."

* * *

Most of Naruto's time at the hospital was spent on writing a detailed report on the forest's events. When he could get out of the hospital, it was escorted by a whole squad of ANBU. They did not talk, yet the blonde had little trouble guessing the reason for the Sandaime's zeal: if Sasori and Orochimaru had dared to infiltrate the Village once, then they could come back for round two anytime.

"You're going to move elsewhere," Yugao told him, as she joined the group. "The Hokage asks you to take everything necessary and then move to your new home. Han, Fuu and Sasuke have already relocated there."

"Where are we going?"

"The Hokage residence." His surprise must have shown on his face, for Yugao instantly elaborated. "This is the safest place in Konoha with the ANBU HQ. The Hokage's ninja will transfer your lab to it afterward. Take what you need the most."

"I see…" he opened his home's door. "Just… give me two minutes. I will be back soon."

When alone inside his flat, Naruto started gathering his precious items in silence… until he found the Samsara. He glanced at the serum, wordlessly pondering what to do with it.

_"You make me laugh. The only way for you to become the best would be to drag others to your level, which is impossible… or cast away all weaknesses."_

Reacting almost on impulse, Naruto removed his sleeve, and prepared the syringe for an injection. _No one is going to mock me again, _he told himself. With it, he could be cured… he could gain what should have been his at birth.

_"This is the real world. The world where the strong prosper and the weak crawl."_

He raised the syringe… and hesitated.

Could he truly let Sasori's words affect him? Could he truly try this substance? It might cure him yes. Give him the power to beat the madman, probably. But he still had no idea on its composition, and the side effects were not to be ignored. The might he would gain, he would have to pay the price for it… he would have to play by the puppeteer's rules instead of his own.

After long minutes of indecision, he reached a conclusion.

Putting the unused serum in his bag, the teen finished gathering his belongings, and closed his flat's door behind him.

Naruto Uzumaki had a long way to reach the top, but he would do it by his efforts alone.

* * *

The Hokage residence was one of the biggest buildings in Konoha, easily the size of the Academy. Naruto had never visited the private quarters the Hokage's relatives occupied, aware it was simply out of his league and much more protected than the administrative parts. It had taken him a lot of preparation to steal the Forbidden Scroll, and as much as he hated to admit it, it had been a close call. The inhabited areas were under the constant watch of the ANBU, as the Sandaime's family would make good hostages.

"This will be your new room," the old man told him. Naruto had a hard time believing it. It was the size of his whole apartment! "Make yourself comfortable."

"It shouldn't be hard." Naruto dropped his bag, and glanced at the Hokage. "Old man… I do not want to sound rude, but… you didn't have to show me my room _personally_. I'm… honored."

"You have been protecting the Village since the moment you were born, son." The war leader inhaled sharply. "I should have taken you in years ago."

"You had a Hidden Village to manage," the blonde pointed out, inwardly touched by the admission.

"I wanted you to live a normal life… when it was obvious you would never be normal." The old man sighed sadly. "When you get older, you think you have learned from your mistakes… If I could change the past, I would do things differently."

"What is done is done… and what must be done shall be done." Naruto chuckled briefly at his own pathetic attempt at philosophy. "I don't dislike you for your choices. Everyone makes mistakes… and I'm not the kind of guy to sulk in a corner." He shrugged his shoulders. "May I ask you a question?"

"Do so."

"Why did Orochimaru and Sasori go at such lengths to catch Sasuke?" he asked. The question had bothered him for a long time. "Why risking infiltrating a Hidden Village on high alert?"

Sarutobi snorted. "Tell me, Naruto, when you want to kill a enemy, what do you do?"

Naruto raised his eyebrows. "I hide my strength to catch him off guard, then I trap and kill him before he even understands what hit him."

"Akatsuki is trying this method with other countries. But tell me, son… what would you do if your enemy knows what you can do, and is prepared accordingly?"

"I would try to intimidate him. Psychological warfare, so he would slip up." Naruto narrowed his eyes. "That's what they were trying to do?"

"This is commonly called terrorism in our jargon. Psychological warfare on a national scale and political destabilization." The Hokage crossed his arms. "If the last Uchiha, a symbol of the Leaf's grandeur, had been captured, crippled, or worse killed with his team, this would have been a heavy blow to our morale. Akatsuki failed at this goal… but their second objective has been completed. They have shown they can attack us any time and penetrate our deepest defenses. If the other Hidden Villages hear missing-nins managed to infiltrate our city, which hopefully won't be the case, they might think the Leaf is weak and get ideas. Or ambitious people inside this very city might consider I am doing a bad job and should be removed. I'm seventy after all…"

"Onoki is older than you, and it doesn't bother Iwa. You have more experience than anybody else in this country and I really can't picture anyone else behind your desk." Naruto scratched his head. "In any case, if there had to be a vote on whether or not you should be taken down, I would support you."

"Thank you." The Sandaime nodded. "Tell me, Naruto," he began, "Do you know the meaning of your codename?"

The ninja took a breath, and realized he had never bothered to investigate its meaning. "No, but I've got the feeling you're going to tell me."

"Atlas is the name of a giant from an ancient mythology which interests only old scholars and historians nowadays. As you can guess, only someone like me could think of it." The Hokage shrugged. "He was the one tasked with the burden of holding the skies and clouds in place, preventing them from crashing upon the earth below, starting the end of the world."

"Is it symbolic of the Kyuubi?"

"Smart boy. Yes, you are right." Sarutobi Hiruzen smiled kindly. "I thought with your determination… you were worthy of a giant's name."

The teen grinned, before adopting a stoic face. "Old man… I've a sin to confess. I lied to you." Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, inviting him to carry on. "When Orochimaru detained me… I stole a serum he created…"

The Hokage took his breath. "Carry on."

* * *

"Hey," Fuu's voice reached Naruto's ears, "What are you doing?"

The blonde closed the dossier, and glanced at his friends. Fuu, Han, Yugao and Sasuke all watched him with worried expressions. "Reading my mother's dossier… Uzumaki Kushina's jounin dossier."

"Your mother was a Kunoichi?" Sasuke asked, sounding surprised. He had always thought Naruto's parents were civilians that died in the Kyuubi's attack, which would explain his lack of talent in the ninja disciplines.

"A pretty good one," he replied proudly, "Sandaime-sama kept it for me to read when I would be old enough… she had one hell of a crazy life." _Although at no point is my dad mentioned, _Naruto thought. Was he the result of a one night stand, a brief affair? Or had Kushina's lover been _another _S-Rank criminal? "Unfortunately… it confirms at least part of Sasori's rambling."

The group kept the silence, leaving him to explain the details. "My mother did indeed share the same father as Sasori's progenitor, which makes us distant cousins. She was taken young from her home as part of an agreement between Konoha and Uzushiogakure. It was perfectly legal… but I can understand why my grandpa saw it as an abduction. It explains… some elements about Sasori's motives."

He shrugged. "When I hit him, I'm pretty sure it was an alloy I hit. _Metal_. Not flesh." Naruto massaged his temples. "Considering he did not age in fifteen-to-twenty years, nor show _any _emotion, there are two possibilities. Either what we fought was a remotely controlled puppet, which is unlikely, as we would have noticed strings and I highly doubt that a robot could control the Third Kazekage so… so skillfully… or he turned himself into a machine, which would fit his perfectionism syndrome."

"Wait," Fuu cut in, "The guys had six arms, his torso and face were heavily modified… no human could survive so many enhancements."

"The Uzumaki possess a strong lifeforce." Naruto glanced at the dossier. "According to an autopsy, my mother suffered an… event… which should have caused the implosion of her entire chakra system, and survived for twenty minutes after her heart was impaled by the Nine Tails' claw." A new crime piling up on the demon's head. "As long as he kept his vital organs intact, I wouldn't be surprised if Sasori replaced the rest of his body."

"Which means he can be killed if his torso is pierced," Han pointed out. "If hit hard enough, like by the Han's Apoca-Fist. Steel itself bends."

"Sure, when we'll be over with him, Sasori will be Sa-sorry."

Naruto couldn't repress a laugh at Fuu's horribly bad pun. He needed this kind of thing in such dark times. If the Seven-Tails' vessel's expression was truthful, it had been done intentionally. "Yeah…" he glanced at Yugao. "Still nothing on these two?"

"No. The research department is struggling to understand the technique they used to teleport away, and a few of our departments are currently suffering a… reorganization." Purge would have been a better word, but the ANBU avoided mentioning it. Catching the moles was a source of sweat and troubles for the Hokage.

"Then… I've something to ask you, Yugao." He got down to his hands and knees. "Please teach me."

The woman was slightly surprised. "Teach you?"

"I'm nowhere near strong enough to fight Akatsuki right now," the blonde admitted. "I need to be better. _Much _better. And you're the strongest person I'm friend with beside the Sandaime and Gai, who are both occupied."

"I… I never taught but…" Yugao paused. "Alright. But you will follow my schedule."

"It can't be worse than Gai's." He smiled and bowed respectfully. "Thank you."

Sasuke observed the scene, and reached a decision. He glanced at Han, and although asking for help was nearly painful for the Uchiha, he swallowed his pride. "Would you… would it be possible for you to teach me?"

Han raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to have a teacher?"

"Kakashi only taught me to climb trees. I need more than that if I want to protect myself and others." He shrugged. "I saw you in action in the Forest of Death. You're… you're strong. Very strong. I… I don't want to be helpless, ever again."

"Oh well…" The giant gave the boy a light tap on his back, which, due to a combination to the Uchiha's own state of weakness and the Jinchuriki's own strength, made him fall to the ground. "The Han will infuse you with a tiny part of his pure awesomeness."

After his friends left, Naruto proceeded to put two photos next to his bed. The first was his mother's portrait. He had never seen her and would never get to speak to her, but the sentimental value was too great to ignore.

The other was one he took with Anko, both members of the duo grinning at the watcher.

"I promise you…" He bowed to the photo. "I'm going to find you."

* * *

As a temporary proctor, Naruto was among the first informed about the second exam's results.

Five teams in total had made it to the tower in time. Team Gai, Team 8, and Team 10, Gaara's squad, and a trio from Kiri. Fifteen participants was exceptional, so preliminaries had been decided to cut the number by half.

After a few matches and one automatic qualification in Shikamaru Nara's case, the entirety of team Gai, Hinata Hyuuga, Gaara, and two Kiri-nin called Chojuro and Suigetsu Hozuki had made it to the final round.

Gaara had killed the third Kiri-nin during their match. By crushing his skull with his sand and then throwing the headless corpse at his teammates.

Naruto wondered how Team Gai and Hinata had reacted to his congratulation message… delivered by Han's rocket-dove. From what he had heard, they had performed admirably, and they deserved their place. He had also asked the Sandaime if he could get his hands on the preliminaries' videos, a demand which had surprised the man. "I wanna see the puppeteer's match," Naruto had explained, "One is after me. I've got to be prepared."

Naruto had spent nearly all his time confined in the mansion, either researching any info he could gather on Sasori and Orochimaru, or analyzing the videos the Hokage had collected. The Exam's puppeteer, a guy called Kankuro, had fought Hinata in the preliminaries. Activating the Byakugan, the girl had effortlessly guessed his weapon's nature, and quickly paralyzed Kankuro's hands with the Gentle Fist. Unable to produce chakra strings, the Suna-nin was powerless and forfeited.

Naruto had been genuinely surprised by the Hyuuga's attitude in the fight. She hadn't stuttered, had ignored Kankuro's attempts at psychological warfare, and performed the Gentle Fist with confidence and efficiency. Obviously, Tenten's mentoring had paid off.

However, with Sasori's enhancement, her tactic was futile. Puppeteers tended to be physically vulnerable, fighting from distance with remotely controlled machines to compensate, but the 'Red Scorpion' had turned his body into a war machine, negating this weakness. If his limbs were somehow augmented, perhaps could it be possible to cut the power-

"Naruto, focus." Yugao's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "A lack of attention is deadly on the battlefield."

"Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts." He seized his dulled blade and adopted a fighting stance. He and his teacher were training on the roof, under the watch of the moon and the ANBU hiding in shadows. "So?"

"Iaido is a sword style the Samurai of Iron developed to defeat ninjas," she calmly repeated her explanation. "It is centered around the smooth movement of drawing the blade from its scabbard and replacing it there. The motions result in the slash being faster and stronger then those executed with the sword already drawn… which allows a skilled practitioner to prevent enemy Shinobi from finishing hand-seal sequences."

"Which is how you beat Orochimaru's guards?"

"I didn't need it this time. Iaido is not truly efficient against people like you or Han, whose fighting style does not rely on hand-seals, but it is highly useful against puppeteer. If you cut their hands or strings, their entire arsenal falls apart."

"That's it, if Sasori's hands can be cut at all."

"I doubt his hands are made of metal only, or else they would not be so fluid. Wood components must play a part in this." Yugao shrugged. "If you pinpoint the weak points, it will be possible to sever the fingers. Like that."

In the next second, Naruto's hand received a nasty hit from a dulled wooden blade.

The training lasted for hours, and Naruto felt pain in each and every one of them.

"That will be enough for tonight," Yugao said softly, as she glanced at her bruised student. "You should rest, I believe. You will get new bruises tomorrow."

"That was low… and here I thought one couldn't outdo Anko or the old man in sadism…" Naruto massaged his neck. "What are you going to do next?"

She observed the sky and the half-moon in the sky. "Watch it." The ANBU glanced at her friend. "Would you like to join me?"

"Sure." Both sat on the roof, and observed the celestial object in silence. Naruto had to admit it was a peaceful experience. It was nice not to struggle or think, for a change.

"My dad liked to see the stars… his dream was to map the whole sky. I guess you know at least about the Pole Star?"

"Everyone should. How else could you guide yourself in the dark?"

Yugao pointed a finger at the sky. "It's hard to see it due to the moon and the clouds, but here there should be Ursa Major… I was once told each star was akin to our sun, and that perhaps, each of them could nurture another earth. I wonder if there are other humans out there… and what they would think of us."

"I think they would find us poor Shinobi highly amusing." Naruto had no idea why, but watching the moon… it caused him to feel fuzzy inside. _Yeah, I'm probably a werewolf. Or the Cursed Seal is messing with my brain. _"Your dad's dream _was _to map the sky?"

"He died before he could complete it. He was on a mission to apprehend Kisame Hoshigake's unit back when he was working for Kiri. The man executed his own men rather than let them be captured and slaughtered his way through the Konoha-nins. I was more or less adopted by Konoha's Intelligence Division afterward."

So she had been associated with the ANBU since she was young… "I see… that's why you joined the ANBU? To take up the mantle?"

"Yes." She crossed her arms. "You want to join the ANBU one day?"

"Why not? That or I become Hokage." He chuckled at Yugao's surprise. "Hey, can't I dream a little?"

* * *

"Hey, Naruto!" Tenten hugged him. "I'm so glad to see you're okay!"

"We heard you were grievously injured attempting to apprehend dangerous Shinobi," Neji said softly, sounding genuinely pleased to see his friend uninjured. "Was it true?"

"Yes, but as you can see, although I received a good beating, I'm alive." He glanced at Sasuke. "Unfortunately… we were too late for others."

"I would like to give you my condolences for your loss," Gai told the Uchiha politely. The genin accepted them with a nod, and did not reply anything as others followed the jounin's example.

Asuma had had the idea to invite Team 8, Team Gai and the newly created 'Team Cat' -although Han wanted to call it 'The Han's Marvelous Team'- to the Yakiniku's restaurant to celebrate their student's qualifications, and to forget the ill fate that befell Team 7. Kakashi was nowhere to be seen, and when he asked Yugao about the matter, she inhaled sharply and answered politely. "Kakashi-senpai has been reinstated in the ANBU, both to bolster our nation's strength in such troubled times, and because the Sandaime thought Sasuke might blame him for what happened." Which was partially true, unfortunately…

"I can understand why," Kurenai Yuuhi whispered, having listened to the conversation. "He only taught his team the tree climbing exercise in weeks… and then sent them to the Chuunin Exams, a deadly competition, wholly unprepared." She herself had only nominated her team after explaining them in details what the tests would entail, teaching them advanced techniques and tactics to increase their chance of survival. Kakashi's negligence was nothing short of criminal in her humble opinion.

Yugao frowned, defending her friend. "Kakashi-senpai never taught before," she explained. "He is an incredibly competent ninja, but teaching a group of genin was a new experience for him. And no one could guess his team would meet a group of experienced ninjas on their way to the tower."

"If they hadn't interfered, Team 7 would have performed well," Naruto agreed, briefly glancing at the rest of the Genin. Han and Lee were getting along extremely well, and surprisingly, Fuu and Shino had started talking about insects. Both had deep knowledge of the subject, after all…

Kurenai shrugged, and glanced at Naruto. "I would like to speak with you." The blonde raised an eyebrow. "First, I would like to thank you. Your discussion with Hinata helped her improve a great deal."

"Tenten did most of the work." The two girls were chatting together, much to the anger of Hinata's cousin. "She would better prepare herself to lose, however. Neji will not go easy on her. He has a grudge against the Main Family and it will be an opportunity for him to lash out. Just giving you a fair warning: he isn't known as a genius for nothing."

For Naruto, in spite of Hinata's improvement, there was no way she could beat her cousin in a straight fight, especially considering the hellish training he underwent for years. After beating his cousin, he would probably face Tenten. The girl would beat Shikamaru, which shouldn't be hard… considering the blonde gave her all the info he compiled on the Nara.

Ah the joy of teamwork…

Lee was probably going to beat this Chojuro, and would face Gaara in the semifinal. What would happen next… Naruto crossed his fingers, hoping his friend would overcome the psycho.

"I spoke with Tenten-san… she is a very promising kunoichi." Kurenai's face turned stoic. "I… I have learned about what happened to Anko." As the young man sulked, the jounin coughed politely. "I would like to tell you we will do everything in our power to find her and punish the responsible parties."

"I will do that myself thanks," he replied, giving her a slight nod. "If you excuse me I… gotta go."

No sooner had he left Kurenai's company than Tenten fell on him. "Naruto thank you! Kurenai Yuuhi told me I was a fine kunoichi thanks to you! _Kurenai Yuuhi_!"

"Does it means my debt is canceled?"

"No." The answer was so flat Naruto almost slammed his head against a wall in disappointment. "But don't worry, it's just a seal I want to apply-"

"Oh boy no…" the teen shook his head, "I've got two already and they're both horrible." The Cursed Seal was already difficult to tolerate, another would be overkill.

"Nah, you're going to like this one," the kunoichi replied with a smirk. "By the way, are you going to the hot springs next?"

"… hot springs?"

"Yeah, Asuma-san rented them for the day. Wanna come?" She smiled kindly. "I believe it would be good for relaxation. I don't want to criticize you, but… you look awful."

"I've had a bad week."

* * *

The water was relaxing, and the heat made him sleepy.

Naruto let himself slide into the hot bath peacefully, trying to follow Tenten's advice and let the accumulated tension go. Sasuke, Shikamaru, Choji, Neji and Asuma -who had dropped his cigarette for the occasion- were already present, and they were soon joined by Kiba and Han, Shino having refused to soak. The Jinchuuriki had kept his mask and hat, leaving the rest of his muscled body exposed for all to see. As he sat in the water, he noticed Naruto's gaze.

"The Han understands what you feel," the giant began, "Seeing the Han's perfect body made you _gay _for the Han. The Han is however forced to tell you he cannot return your affection, for the Han's one true love shall always be… the Han."

"Euh… alright." The blonde ignored his insane friend and focused on the rest of the men present. One element especially attracted his attention. "Neji… why is your Byakugan on?"

The teen seemed genuinely embarrassed, and blushed lightly. "It is to see through the steam, in case we're attacked."

"Liar." Naruto shook his head. "Neji… you're a bad boy."

Kiba snorted. "Who would have thought _you _were a closet pervert?"

"As if you didn't use Akamaru to spy on Hinata," Shikamaru pointed out, as barking were heard. "I do not understand the dog, but I'm pretty sure it is giving you a vivid description of-"

"Oh come on, I'm pretty sure you can use your Shadow Techniques in this way too! Like copying naked girls' shadow or something. And according to mom Akimichi can extend their-"

"Women are troublesome creatures," Shikamaru cut in, as Choji reddened like a tomato in shock. "They tend to be killing machines when angered."

"Sometimes I wonder why every ninja technique has a hidden perverted use," Naruto shrugged. "I mean, if you follow this logic, then Sasuke could perhaps memorize naked women forever in his brain with his Sharingan on."

The Uchiha's jaw dropped at the statement, as he had never considered that… and decided to forget this application to ensure he would live long enough to kill Itachi, hoping no Kunoichi would ever hear of it.

"Let's go Lee!" Gai shouted, upon entering with his student… both wearing green swimsuits, much to Naruto's horror. "We're going to swim until we pass out!"

"Ah, the image! My eyes burn!"

"More steam!" Han started producing a thick white mist with a technique, potent enough to save Naruto's sight from the insane duo. As a bonus, the water's heat increased slightly.

"By the way, the Han, how does your steam works?" Naruto asked. "I've never heard of something similar."

"The Five Tails gave the Han the power to fuse Fire and Water chakra to produce a Steam element," the Jinchuuriki explained. "Only the Han managed to master it. The previous Jinchuuriki ended up burning themselves with it."

Naruto nodded, and asked him a question. "I never asked before but… why did you leave Iwa exactly?"

The missing-nin stayed silent an instant. "Iwa is a harsh place where to live in. Its citizens are as cold as the rock they shape… and the Han was never appreciated due to his Bijuu. He was considered dangerous by the Tsuchikage, was denied a promotion past Chuunin, and was kicked out of stores. After a time, the Han got fed up with the Stone and left. He was not mourned, and he did not mourn anyone... except Roshi." The giant cursed. "Akatsuki captured, and probably killed him. They will regret that."

The blonde understood his situation. If the Sandaime hadn't been so kind to him, and if he hadn't met friends like Tenten, he would have probably abandoned the Leaf by now. "Didn't you have a family?" He briefly wondered if Han's behavior wasn't an attempt at dealing with a deep seated inferiority complex.

"The Han's father was the former Gobi's vessel. He lost control of the Bijuu and it was extracted from him, killing him so the Han could inherit the family curse. The Han never met his mom." The giant shrugged. "Why such questions?"

"It's just… you, Fuu and I share the same burden, and I never got to speak with someone like that before." The teen closed his eyes. "Do you think there is a place where people like us are accepted?"

"No. This is why we are strong." The giant snorted. "Time for you to answer the Han's questions. Are you screwing Yugao Uzuki?"

"Well, th- WHAT?"

The outburst caused the rest of the boys present to glance at him. Han unfortunately continued on his reasoning. "Look, you two go on the roof, under the moon, alone, and then come back panting and sweating. The Han is asking himself questions."

"This is not even remotely what you think it is-"

"Naruto has a girlfriend?" Kiba grinned wickedly. "Who is it? If yes, then it means I've got a shot with Hinata!"

"Wait… _that's _what you were doing on the roof with Yugao?" Sasuke asked, sounding slightly disturbed.

"Yugao? Oh… I'm impressed." Asuma gave Naruto a light tap on the shoulder and proceeded to tease him ruthlessly. "Older women are the best. I would suggest to offer her flowers. Ino will surely give you pointers if you ask nicely-"

"… you're all completely crazy…"

"Wow, Yugao Uzuki? Nice catch boy. Nice catch."

"Oh come on, this is not-" Naruto stopped. "Wait… who was the last voice?"

"Oh? That's me." A man exited the thick steam, standing atop a red toad. He was naked like a worm, elderly, and had a long, long white mane instead of hair. "Jiraiya of the Sannin! Sage of Mount Myoboku! Writer of Icha Icha Paradise! And mayor of a little town up the coast! The ladies bow before my awesomeness!"

His flashy introduction was met with complete and utter silence.

"No, seriously, what is your girlfriend's cup size? It would be a nice subject for my research."

* * *

**A/N: **for Sakura and Sai: 1) I do not hate them, it's just I had to show Sasori and Oro were ruthless murderers, 2) plot armor in Atlas is limited and while it won't be a bloodbath some major characters can die, and 3) Atlas is a story about minor characters. People with a major role in canon, like Kakashi or Team 10 have a reduced role so more minor characters like Sarutobi, Yugao, Tenten, Fuu or Han can have more spotlight.

Naruto being on the wrong side of a brutal one sided battle: Naruto is a rookie with little preparation. Sasori is a cyborg with two decades of experience on the field and more weaponry than a warship. There was no way their first clash wouldn't be a trashing. I keep most of the purely awesome action scenes for the invasion, after the main characters undergo intensive training.

I've seen many fics where Kakashi is blamed for only teaching his genin the tree walking exercise, but when you think about it, it makes sense: Kakashi never taught before and is himself a genius with the Sharingan, aka things come naturally to him. It makes sense he would have difficulties teaching kids. That and I doubt anyone would teach overly emotional kids like Team 7 dangerous jutsu before being certain they won't kill each other with it by accident or out of misplaced rage... which they _ended up doing_ in canon.

Would you kindly add a review?


	8. Chapter 8

If there are fans of Warhammer 40K in the room, go check out my profile. I added a humorous story on it. It's more or less the Emperor of Mankind vs Khârn the Betrayer vs the most awesome characters the setting has to offer.

**Disclaimer: **reading this means you're awesome. Or a fan of the Han. Probably both.

* * *

_**Chapter Eight:**_

_**Lucky Seven**_

"That's the Cursed Seal of Earth," Jiraiya explained, after he had finished examining both Naruto and Sasuke. "The counterpart to the Cursed Seal of Heaven. I met one or two of Orochimaru's followers marked with it. It turns them into mini-dinosaurs when they call upon it's full power."

"Can you remove it?" Naruto asked, sitting on the ground. After leaving the hot baths, doing their best not to reveal the legendary pervert's presence to the local kunoichi, the trio had relocated themselves to a training ground. "I feel like dog on a leash."

"You are." The self-proclaimed super-pervert was nothing like Naruto imagined. Of course, the blonde had seen his Bingo Book entry, learning he was the writer of the glorified porn series called Icha Icha Paradise, and one of the best ninjas on this side of the continent. Yet he seemed… bipolar. He behaved like a clown one second, then as a stern teacher the next. "Orochimaru's chakra is kept inside the seal, allowing him to locate you if he wishes… or influence your brain."

Jiraiya sneezed. "The Evil Sealing Method will reduce its influence, until I can develop a more permanent method. The dampener will be fueled by your willpower, meaning you gotta be careful to keep your emotions under control. The Cursed Seal answers to its bearers' intents, and might be triggered if the call is powerful enough."

"I can keep it in check," Sasuke stated.

"Me too," Naruto shrugged. "I've more willpower than needed."

"We'll see." Jiraiya began a long, _long _hand seal sequences. "I will also remove Sasori's additions to the Yondaime's seal. The process will be... painful."

He wasn't joking.

Naruto's skin burned, pain flaring through his nerves. The sensation was similar to being flayed alive with a kitchen knife. Sasuke was in a similar agony, but unlike the Uzumaki, his chakra allowed him to resist the procedure better.

After a few seconds, the pain was too much to bear and the blonde began to hallucinate. A vivid living dream replaced reality.

The world was blurred. The land was black and white, the buildings shapeless shades. The rain was powerful, falling down upon a crowd gathered atop a tower. A man, which was nothing more than a mirage to Naruto's troubled mind, was standing higher than the rest. His eyes were shining with a silver, inhuman haze.

"A slave once told me he dreamed of freedom," the speaker with the strange eyes explained with a strong, deep voice. It was probably enhanced by a sound-based technique, and the echo added a supernatural edge to the speech. "My father dreamed of a nice, long, happy life. A peasant dreams of the same exact existence as we speak. In his darkest roots of the Leaf, Danzo Shimura dreams of a world where Konoha rules almighty. In the high mountains of Cloud, the foolish Raikage dreams of a powerful, everlasting Kumogakure. My dream is very different."

The speaker raised his hands and clenched his fists. "I dream of a sea of fire. An inferno that will overwhelm the nations of Earth, drowning the old world in divine flames. Crimson clouds will cover the skies. The oceans will boil. The streets shall be filled with the blood of millions. The end shall come. But my dream does not end there. From the ashes of the Shinobi World, as the gods once created mankind from clay, Akatsuki shall shape a new one, better in every single way. By our will, we shall turn this blue planet, into a _red planet_."

The man extended his arms. "Why do I dream of the death of this world? The reason is simple. This is a truth that was revealed to me by heavens. _No animal is born free_. Not even man. We are born shackled with the chains of misunderstanding, hate, nationalism, pride… Through these illusions we cause war and strife. Only through pain can we achieve enlightenment. Only through suffering can we shatter our chains and free ourselves. We are a new beginning, my followers. We are the Samsara, we are the world's salvation. Through our efforts, we shall guide the rebirth of Earth. Through our will, mankind shall learn true suffering. Pain.. to the world!"

"Pain to the world!" The crowd cheered in unison, the people raising their hands to acclaim their leader, their prophet, their god. "Pain to the world!"

"Soon, the old idols shall fall. The Leaf, the Sand, the Stone, the Mist, the Cloud, the Waterfall, all of them, shall be reduced to dust before the Akatsuki's might. The nine Tailed Beasts shall be one once more, and what the Sage of the Six Paths once did, we shall undo it. None of their keepers shall escape our sight. We shall pursue them on foot, in the sky, in the sea. They can run, but they cannot hide."

The speaker glanced at the blonde. "Not even you, Naruto."

_Oh fuck he can see me, he can see me! _The next second, the blonde awoke, Jiraiya and Sasuke watching over him. "So…" the Sannin raised an eyebrow. "Was it a nice dream?"

"Yeah…" Naruto smirked sarcastically. "I think I saw Akatsuki's boss. He's a nice guy."

* * *

Writing a report about his vision was quick, although he forgot parts of the preacher's speech. _The man believes himself a prophet or deity, _he told Sarutobi. _I know, _the Sandaime had replied, unfazed.

"One line… one circle…" Naruto continued giving the instructions to his friend. "Damn it, why does it take so long?"

"A summoning array is never easy to create," Fuu pointed out, as she used foreign blood to draw symbols to the ground. "Summoners aren't that common, you know, and the art is difficult. Especially when you do not have chakra to use yourself."

"Which is why you will provide it," the teen replied, as Fuu finished. He would have asked for more assistance, but Jiraiya would never agree to what he was about to do, and Han was occupied drilling taijutsu lessons into Sasuke's skull. "According to the book I read, this should teleport us to the summon's lair, by using the summoner's blood as a focus."

"And to whom does this blood belong?"

"Anko. I stole it from the hospital's reserves." Fuu blinked. "Yes, we're going to the snakes' lair."

"Are you insane?" The girl clenched her fists. "They work for Orochimaru!"

"_With _Orochimaru," Naruto corrected, stressing their independence. "This is risky, but also the only way I have to locate Anko. The snakes might be Orochimaru's summons, but they worked with Konoha during the Second and Third Ninja War, and let's not talk about all the years Anko summoned them without causing trouble. I doubt _every single snake_ is hostile to us. And seeing how Orochimaru uses his summons as meat-shield, one or two might be willing to betray him."

"And if they inform Orochimaru?"

"The pentagram has a fail-safe," he said. "I am unable to activate it due to my lack of chakra, _but _you can. If you complete the same hand seal sequence you will use to activate it in the first place, we automatically return to Konoha."

"… this is still insane."

"Exactly. Orochimaru will never expect it."

Fuu groaned, and began the sequence. "You're crazy," she repeated.

With a cloud of smoke, the duo vanished from the leaf, finding themselves atop a mountain of gold. Literally.

They had landed on a sea of silver and golden coins, contained inside a cave of black stone. Florescent crystals provided light on the ceiling, allowing them to see the creature glaring at them: a gigantic red cobra, easily the size of a large building.

"Who are you to wake up Smaug the Devourer?" the serpent hissed dangerously, its yellow eyes shining malevolently. "Are you _thieves_?"

"We're tourists," Naruto deadpanned instinctively, before suddenly realizing just how idiotic it had been.

The reptile stayed speechless for a few seconds… and then exploded into roaring laughter. The spectacle both confused and terrified Naruto, doubly so when the creature swirled around him and Fuu. "That's… that's the first time I've heard such an answer," the animal admitted. "Amusing. What are your names, tourists? I will sense it if you lie."

"Naruto Uzumaki. The girl is called Fuu." The blonde inhaled sharply. "We attempted the reverse summoning and we ended up… where are we exactly?"

"The Ryūchi Cave, the Serpents' Realm. This area is Smaug the Devourer's nest, little one, and you disturbed my sleep." The creature shrugged. "But you're too funny to die. Feel fortunate I am in a merciful mood."

"Thanks," Fuu nodded. "Where can we find the local authority?"

"Do you think me for a tourist guide, brats?" The cobra laid on his treasure and faked sleeping. "Unless you have something to give me in exchange for my help, leave me alone before I decide to eat-"

"I will pay you 10,000 Ryo if you help us."

Smaug glanced at Naruto. As expected, his greed got the better of his pride. "30,000. In cash."

"10,000 in cash immediately, the rest after the service is done. I need to be sure you aren't trying to trick us."

"Deal." The beast chuckled. "You would make a crafty snake, Naruto Uzumaki."

As promised, the snake guided them through a long, long string of tunnels and caves, each illuminated by crystals. They crossed paths with snakes of different stature and colors. Most were normal sized, many were bigger than horses… and one's mouth was bigger than a small house.

After a walk, they arrived inside a gigantic library. Scrolls and books were piled around them, across a cave easily as big as an entire district. A _colossal _white snake was resting on a throne of black stones, inhaling the smoke of a giant pipe. He was wearing a pointed black hat and a crystal necklace, and its eyes were two crimson orbs.

"That's the White Snake Sage, our elder and spiritual leader," Smaug explained. "He has collected more knowledge than any creature alive on this earth. His wisdom is peerless, his guile legendary, his power almighty and his love for screwing with minds terrifying. Respect his authority or you will suffer." The snake shuddered. "Pecking order…"

Deciding not to delve on the subject, Fuu pointed a finger at the tunnel behind the throne. "Where does it lead?"

Smaug, much to the girl's astonishment, paled. "To the dragon's lair," he whispered ominously. The animal turned around, delivering a last sentence before returning home. "Don't forget my pay… if you survive, that is."

Naruto locked eyes with Fuu, and the girl gave him a light tap. "You go first."

Cursing, the young man approached the throne, bowed, and attempted not to piss on himself when the giant snake glanced down at him. "Greeting, honored White Snake Sage. I am-"

"You are Naruto Uzumaki, son of Kushina Uzumaki, grandson of Kiryu Uzumaki, student of Anko Mitarashi and Yugao Uzuki, follower of Hiruzen Sarutobi, Shinobi of Konoha, Jinchuuriki of the Nine Tailed Fox. Called Atlas by others. Owner of a platypus, and suspected sadomasochist." The snake released a cloud of smoke from his nostrils. "Prepare to die."

Naruto paled in dread, before grabbing a flash bomb. Fuu jumped at his side, her fists clenched. "Bring it on you old-" The serpent laughed loudly, catching him off guard. "What?"

"You should have seen your face!" The Sage teased him mercilessly. "This trick never gets old!"

Naruto dropped his jaw, shamed to have been played for a fool. Curiosity however won over anger. "Wait, this isn't the first time you pull it off?"

"Nah, I pull it on every new visitor to see how they react. If they cower I eat them for real, if they stand up, I listen to what they have to say. I can't allow weaklings in this realm, you understand." The Sage snorted. "You should be used to it. Didn't Yugao pull something like that on you once? Anko gave her pointers."

"I should have guessed Anko was behind that somehow…" Naruto crossed his arms, warily eyeing his surroundings. Fuu's eyes did not leave the animal, and she said no word.

"Nice to see you're prepared for a sneak attack, but don't worry, if I wanted to eat you, you would be in my stomach as we speak." The White Snake Sage inhaled from his pipe, in a similar way than to Sandaime's. Naruto found the scene hilarious, but managed to keep his amusement under control. "You must wonder how I know so much about you. Do you have any guess?"

"You sent snakes to spy on me?"

"Smart. Reptiles all over the world gather information for me each week. We are the second greatest spy network on the continent, behind the Spider Clan, although if you want our knowledge, you will have to earn it." The Sage locked eyes with Naruto. "Don't worry. I didn't tell Orochimaru _everything _I have on you."

"And you won't tell me everything you have on him either."

"No," the snake confirmed. "Your feud is none of our concern, us summons, although I'm not stupid enough not to keep an eye on the Elemental Nations. A war between humans is always an opportunity to expand our influence. Arranging the death of rival summons, recruiting new summoners, stealing powerful weapons… it has been our way for countless centuries, long before the Hidden Villages were founded."

Naruto smirked at the last words. Obviously, summons weren't that different from humans. They had their own wars to fight for supremacy. "You must know why I am here?"

"No. I know Jiraiya wanted you to see the toads first, however."

"Why? Because they're his summons?"

"No, because he's a _moron_. A talented moron, but a moron nonetheless. A senile amphibian smoked weed and mushrooms, prophesied you would arrive at Mount Myoboku… and here you are in the land of the Toads' bitter rivals." The White Sage snorted. "Serpents will be better suited for you. You remind me of Orochimaru when he was your age."

The comparison chilled Naruto to the bone, and the giant snake noticed. "Orochimaru… isn't who he used to be. His madness has been caused by a variety of factors whose list is too long to discuss. He used to be quite polite and… sane. Now even my grandson Manda, one of his oldest companions, is having difficulties working with him."

"I see…"

"But obviously Jiraiya isn't behind your visit." This wasn't a question. The Sage was stating a fact. "So why did you come? I admit I am curious."

"I wanted info on a friend, and maybe a counter to Orochimaru. A giant creature that would be willing to help me beat him, although without chakra this seems impossible," Naruto admitted. "I would have figured something out."

The Sage placed his pipe to the side and watched the young man carefully. "Do you know how reverse summoning works? Without using a summoner's blood, I mean."

"I am summoned before creatures with whom I share affinities?"

"Exactly. The ritual automatically sends you to the animal species with whom you are naturally aligned with. In your case, your guile, desire to achieve more power, your attempts at solving your problems with your brain and reliance on dirty fighting mean you would have either been sent to the Spider Clan or us. However… this does _not _mean any clan has to take you as a summoner."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "I guessed that already. If someone like _me _can try reverse summoning, why isn't there more summoners? I've heard most summons kill human visitors."

"True. In fact, Orochimaru was the only person in the past decades who has received a contract from us, which your sensei Anko Mitarashi signed later. We ate the rest. Smaug didn't earn his nickname for devouring chickens." The White Snake Sage chuckled cheerfully, amused by his own lame joke. "Most summoners think a contract means they can use us as they wish. Is it the case?"

"No. There is always a price to pay." Naruto crossed his arms. "You ask for something in exchange for your clan's help."

"Smart boy. The snake contract means while you can summon us, _I _can summon _you _as well should my clan need manpower. This will take precedent over any conflict you may have in the Elemental Nations. Secondly, our clan obeys the law of equivalent exchange. Unless you are respected enough among us, which currently isn't the case, you will have to pay for our help. The price will depend on the service asked. Consider a contract to be… a mutually beneficial collaboration. Finally, you won't be able to summon any other animal, until the contract is broken."

"I see…" He didn't expect anything else, having gleaned info on summons before attempting the ritual. "Can summoners summon each others?"

"No, or else Anko and the Leaf would have had Orochimaru killed by now," the White Sage answered flatly. "Since you interest me and will be useful, I allow you to form a contract with us, if you're willing. However, as you lack chakra, you will have to find alternate sources to fuel the ritual. I believe you should be smart enough for this."

"Thank you," Naruto nodded, already pondering different options. "And you said you had a spy net-"

"I will not give you any information on Akatsuki and Orochimaru," the Sage destroyed his hopes. "My clan has a non-aggression pact with this organization and as such I will not do anything that could endanger it. I can give you access to your family's history, but since multiple Akatsuki members are intrinsically linked to it, this shall be limited."

Naruto clenched his fists. "And Anko Mitarashi?"

The White Snake paused. "She isn't part of our accords with Akatsuki. I can give you her current location… for a price."

"What do you want?" Naruto asked warily.

The White Sage, astonishingly enough, grinned. "I've wanted to do this for a long, _long _time."

* * *

"That was immature. _Very _immature."

"It wasn't my idea," Naruto told Tenten, taking a coffee break together at her home. "Admit it, it was funny. I thought Jiraiya was going to have a cardiac arrest."

"Understandable. I would have had one if you teleported with a giant white snake right in front of me, shouting _'White Snake Sage, I choose you'_ for everyone to hear. How did you manage to pull that off?"

"No idea. The giant snake took a little of my blood and did all the work." He guessed it was some kind of advanced summoning. Hopefully, Orochimaru couldn't do that, or else the Leaf was screwed. "He made me sign a scroll bigger than you, but since I don't have chakra to make the summoning possible, I've been researching alternate solutions. I've read blood can be a viable alternative to chakra. This is how animals were summoned back when the Sage hadn't taught anyone how to use chakra. Unfortunately, the bigger summons need human sacrifices."

"This is completely impractical. Signing the contract didn't bring you anything. What is the point in having a skill you can never use?"

"Because it can be helpful. Yes, I can't summon anything myself... but my teammates _can_ use my blood to summon snakes themselves, which could potentially save our life."

"Have you not considered the snakes might turn against you?"

"Snakes are mercenaries at heart." Naruto crossed his arms. "The smaller ones obey a command dutifully because the summoner is stronger than them. Some obey because they are friends with the summoner… and the bigger reptiles trade for their service. At least one would kill Orochimaru in a heartbeat if I paid him enough, and Manda, the strongest of all snakes, only work against a hundred sacrifices. The toads aren't that much better. From what I heard, Toad Boss Gamabunta refuses to obey Jiraiya whenever he feels like it." Naruto shrugged. "A friend of mine summoned snakes inside Konoha for a decade and they never caused trouble. They don't really care about which flag they fight under as long as they're paid for it."

Tenten frowned slightly, as she brought the coffee to her lips. "Speaking of Jiraiya… did he… well, the rumors-"

"He peeped on you," Naruto told her flatly, making his friend spit out her drink. "I've never had the displeasure of meeting a man more perverted than him. This is… unfathomable."

"That bastard!" Tenten clenched her fists. "I'm going to castrate him!"

"I can do it for you, if you erase my debt…"

"Sorry, the pleasure will be mine alone." Tenten grinned. "Don't worry, what I've in mind is good for you." She placed a sheet of paper on the table. Naruto glanced at it. The symbol represented a complex sealing array, looking like an open eye. "I called it the Anti-Ninja Field."

"What does it do?"

"It sucks in every source of chakra within a twenty meters radius."

Naruto stayed silent, glanced at Tenten, before finally settling on seizing the paper and memorizing every feature. "How?"

"It creates an imbalance between Yin and Yang, the positive and negative aspects of energy and matter. The imbalance needs to be corrected, and nearby chakra is absorbed into the seal until the energies are balanced." The kunoichi finished her cup. "At worst, techniques should either be nullified or weakened when used within the radius. At best, ninjas nearby will be killed by chakra depletion. It is impractical for most people, as their chakra would be absorbed, killing them…"

"But I don't need it to live," Naruto finished.

"Yes." Tenten smiled kindly. "This will give you an immense advantage over enemies. I need to find a safe way to make it work, but once it is completed-"

He hugged her, making her squeal in surprise. "You're awesome!" he said, with tears in his eyes. "No, you're the most wonderful friend ever!"

"I know," the girl grinned, breaking off the embrace. "But that doesn't mean I'll go easy on you!"

"Sometimes…" Naruto smiled sadly. "Sometimes… I forget you're the sweetest girl I know."

* * *

It was while going on a walk, as the sun was almost set, that Naruto noticed it in the skies.

The creature had the shape of a giant beetle, easily the size of a human. It was strong and beautiful, its body covered with green scales. It was flying aimlessly under the moonlight… until it noticed the blonde genin. The ninja backed down in dread, when the giant beetle landed in front of him. "Don't worry, Naruto! It's me!"

"Fuu?" Naruto stared, astonished, at the creature. "What happened to you?"

**"I took over her body for the night." **While the voice came from the same source, it was different. A deep, bug-like noise. **"Enchanted. I am Chomei the Lucky Seven Tails."**

The teen blanched. _Am I speaking to a **Bijuu**? _"You broke the seal?"

"No… it's…" Fuu's voice fell silent. "We have an agreement. I let him use my body like it wants from time to time, in exchange for its chakra."

**"I wanted to fly," **the creature said flatly. **"Do you want to fly, Naruto Uzumaki?"**

"Come on, it's pretty wonderful!" Fuu insisted. "Nana will hold you and…"

**"And nothing else." **It suddenly grabbed the teen with its strong hands, flying before the blonde could resist. **"Cease to move or I drop you. Enjoy the view."**

Naruto closed his mouth and obeyed.

The sunset was beautiful from above. The lights reflected on the clouds, forming a great, wonderful tapestry of colors, almost hypnotizing. "Beautiful…" he whispered, feeling the wind blowing on his face.

**"Yes." **The Nanabi grunted. **"Fuu, give me more control. I want to blow up that ugly Hokage Monument."**

"W-wait, no!" Fuu panicked. "Why would you want to do that?"

**"It blocks my view of the twilight." **

Naruto decided not to push the issue and changed it. "So… you want to speak to the Nine Tails? Something like that?"

**"No. I never liked Kurama. He boasts the number of tails shows the order of power, and as such he is entitled to rule over all creatures." **The oversized beetle snorted when Naruto frowned. **"Nanabi, Kyuubi… they are titles men gave us. We have real names. I do not mind my title, for seven is a happy number."**

"I see…" Naruto shrugged. "So I'm not the only one to dislike the Nine Tailed Fox?"

**"He is a nine-tailed asshole," **Chomei summed up with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. **"Good to see it did not influence you. Tell me, why is this place called the Hidden Leaf? There are more trees in Taki."**

"According to history books, Madara Uchiha named the town the Hidden Leaf after the Shodai created the buildings with his Mokuton." Naruto snorted. He was slightly surprised the Bijuu could be so… _civil_. "He defected soon after."

**"You should have done the same. The Hidden Villages bring us Bijuu and Jinchuuriki nothing but suffering. We share the same boat." **It grunted. **"Is it not, Fuu?"**

The girl stayed silent an instant, and her blonde friend couldn't repress his curiosity. "What happened in Taki?" he asked.

"Nothing," she lied through her teeth. "Nothing at all."

* * *

Sasori glanced at his partner, covered with bandages. "How long until you are at full strength again?"

"A few days, I would say… aesthetic surgery isn't that bothering, and Kimimaro is surprisingly adapted to flesh alterations." A blade of bone grew out of Orochimaru's arm, which surprised the red scorpion. He had expected blood to flow. Obviously, the Kaguya bloodline reduced the damage done to the body. "With this enhanced vessel, Sarutobi-sensei will surely fail."

The puppeteer snorted and glanced at the bottles piled next to the Sannin. "Has the quota been fulfilled?"

"It has been _shattered_." Orochimaru chuckled. "We have enough Samsara to fuel an army."

"I will smuggle it inside the walls once my agents are ready." Sasori chuckled. "Deidara has finished preparing the bombs."

"Oh? I guess we will see who is the better artist soon then," Orochimaru teased his partner, who shrugged. He wasn't in the mood to discuss his rivalry with Deidara. "What about the Nanabi and the Gobi?"

"I asked for reinforcements, and we will have them."

"And Naruto-kun?"

"Alive. My agents will move when Naruto expects it the least." Sasori glared venomously at the Sannin. "What madness possessed you? You could have killed him."

"No… I was certain he would survive the procedure, and it will allow me to restrain him anytime." In truth, the reason Orochimaru had infected Naruto with the Cursed Seal was to better control him. _Once addicted to the Seal's chakra, he will come to me begging like a dog, _the snake thought with amusement. _With the Kyuubi under my control and Edo Tensei, I will be able to defeat Pain… after Konoha is wiped off the maps, of course. _Myriads of plans took shape in his mind, each more cruel than the last. _I will enjoy having Naruto rip you apart, _he mused inwardly, upon glancing at Sasori. "This was a calculated risk."

"If you keep acting like a loose canon, you might pay the price for it." The puppeteer snorted. "How many soldiers will Edo Tensei provide us?"

Orochimaru grinned behind his bandages. "More than enough."

* * *

Naruto glared at Sarutobi. "You stole Perry from me."

"It came to me first," the Sandaime chuckled, the animal resting on his lap. With this pose, the old man could be mistaken for an evil mastermind. "When do you intend to extract its venom?"

"Soon. I'm building hollow projectiles to deliver it." Naruto sat in a chair, locking eyes with his mentor. "You summoned me at this late hour to speak about Anko, am I right?"

"You will be happy to learn a rescue mission has been launched." Sarutobi interlaced his fingers. "The coordinates the White Snake Sage gave you confirm our own investigation. Akatsuki has a base near Kusagakure. Jiraiya believes this is an experimentation lab."

"You realize this might be a trap."

"I assume _every _recovery mission is a trap. Which is why you won't be part of it."

The boy's heart stopped beating briefly. "Why?" Naruto clenched his fists. "I gave you the info in the first place!"

"Orochimaru will be able to locate your Cursed Seal, warning him of the operation." Sarutobi inhaled the smoke. "And before you try to worm your way into the team, which you probably intend to, let me tell you the ANBU is on its way as we speak."

_You farsighted old bastard… _"How many people have you sent? Anko is probably closely guarded."

"I sent the best… and Yugao is part of them." Sarutobi narrowed his eyes. "As much as I hate to say it… you are too precious for Konoha to risk now. Especially since I need a counter to Gaara in town."

Here they were. The real reason he was brought to the office. "Suna is scheming behind our back?"

"Yes." Sarutobi inhaled sharply and dropped the bomb. "The Kazekage is planning to invade the Leaf during the Third Exam, in three weeks. Jiraiya's contacts informed me Gaara has been ordered to release the Ichibi on the populace during his match."

Naruto fell silent, the implications dark and disturbing. "How many forces do they have?"

"Around 8,000 ninjas have been mobilized, according to our spies. Jiraiya informed me they were recruiting mercenaries who may be affiliated with Akatsuki, so by the end, we might face an army of around 12,000 men. Half of what we have and on our territory, but if the Ichibi is allowed to roam free, numbers will not win."

"But… but you're letting the Kazekage inside our walls? And Akatsuki is behind this? Are you _insane_?" Naruto paused, upon realizing how stupid he had been to speak like this to his direct superior. "Sorry."

"Naruto… what would you do if you were in my place?"

"I would put the Kazekage under house arrest," he said after a short pondering. "Our image on the international scenery might take a hit, but the invasion could be avoided. I would have Gaara killed immediately."

"A spy of mine convinced me Akatsuki infiltrated the command structure of Sunagakure." Itachi had been quite clear on the subject. "The invasion _will _happen, with or without the Kazekage. If we capture him, the population will take it as the proof of our treachery and the war will be declared by Orochimaru's proxies. At this point, all we can do is damage control."

Naruto got it immediately. "You intend to trap the attack force, slaughtering them and keeping your losses at bar minimum?"

"Yes. And perhaps obtain the Shukaku, if things go smoothly." Sarutobi began to explain his plan. "If the operation works, Suna will be crippled and without a Jinchuuriki. An easy prey for Iwa, who will start a war with its neighborhood. Both being associated with Akatsuki, they will bleed themselves out while we focus on the string pullers."

"You will exploit Orochimaru's own plan to your advantage…" Naruto whispered, impressed by the guile, and slightly horrified. The Iwa-Suna war would be a bloody one, and thousands would die. _Better them than us, I guess_. "But what do you intend to do exactly?"

"I cannot tell you everything, only your role in my scheme." Sarutobi lit his pipe. "What do you think of Gaara?"

"He's a psychopath. Letting him roam free will result in incidents."

"He will not be removed before the Invasion's day, or else Suna will suspect we have been warned and react unpredictably. However, as unstable as he is, Gaara is a lonely Jinchuuriki. With luck, you and your friends may be able to convince him to switch sides. If he cannot be convinced to defect… you will have to remove him on the day of the Third Exam. Keep him alive, if possible, so we can extract the Ichibi. Otherwise, kill him." The old man frowned. "Do you feel able to complete this S-Rank mission?"

"Anyone can be killed with the right preparations." Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What else?"

"Orochimaru's pride will probably cause him to seek me out during the invasion," the Sandaime admitted. "And it is possible Sasori will try capturing you during the confusion. You will have to be on your guard."

The teen nodded. "What about the Mizukage? What side will Kiri take?"

"Kiri's new administration… had proved to be particularly interesting and helpful. You will see for yourself when the Mizukage arrives tomorrow." The old man grinned. "Tell me... would you mind participating in important meetings?"

Naruto dropped his jaw in shock. "You mean, with the Mizukage and Kazekage?" It was kind of the Hokage to propose him this, since he could have _ordered_ instead.

"Alongside my meetings with my advisers." Sarutobi inhaled from his pipe. "Let's be honest. Neither Han nor Fuu trust me, and considering their troubles with authorities, I can understand them perfectly. You are my liaison with these two, and the intervention of two Demon Vessels might be pivotal in the invasion. As our Jinchuuriki, you are one of the pillars maintaining Konoha as a war deterrent. I believe it is time for me to associate you more closely with our chain of command. Your presence in meetings with the Kazekage and Mizukage would remind them we have the Kyuubi, giving us the upper hand in debates."

_He's grooming me,_ Naruto suddenly realized. _For a command position. _"I am honored by your proposal, Hokage-sama. I accept."

* * *

"This is it." Yugao glanced at the black construction, near the destroyed bridge. A dark bunker of metal and steel, hidden by trees and partly dig under the earth. "Orochimaru's hideout."

"Fu," Torune Aburame told his partner, a member of the Yamanaka clan, "How many chakra signatures?"

"Ten. Mitarashi's, eight unknown, probably civilians, according to their low reserves… and Kabuto Yakushi's." Fu clenched his jaw upon dropping the traitor's name. "No one else."

"It does not appear they expect us, but let's be careful," Kakashi ordered. "Torune, Fu, behind. Yugao, you and I will be the vanguard."

While Cat nodded, she noticed her mentor was slightly preoccupied, glancing at the remains of the bridge. "Senpai?" Yugao asked.

"Sorry," he shrugged, focusing. "It brought back bad memories." This was the bridge Rin and Obito sacrificed their lives to destroy… the Kannabi Bridge. _I promise you… I won't let another comrade fall today._

"The night is upon us," Fu noted, as light faded away. "We better hurry."

The four ninjas moved in silence, entering through the base's windows. Yugao found herself briefly wondering what had pushed Danzo, the ANBU's leader, to add his own bodyguards to this mission. Could it be because he expected Akatsuki members to be nearby?

The base's interior was… deserted. There wasn't a soul inside, and in all evidence, it hadn't been occupied for quite a while. _This is too silent, _Yugao thought. _What could they be doing there?_

They finally reached a large, brightly lit white hall. It seemed to be an hospital room, with nine people laying on beds, their vital signs recorded by a computer… and the doctor operating it.

Fu instantly pushed a kunai against the individual's throat. "Raise your hands and do not try anything," he said. "This does not have to be difficult."

Kabuto Yakushi did as he was told. "Ah, my fellow Root… have you come to pay me a visit?" he asked, sounding friendly and confident. "It is nice to see you again."

Yugao ignored the traitor's words and focused on his 'patients'. They were six men and three women, different in appearance, clothing, and age. Anko was among them, her eyes wide opened, empty, lifeless… and crimson in color. "Anko, it's me…" the ANBU began, trying to wake her up.

"They suffered body modifications," Torune whispered, upon glancing at the comatose patients. "Interesting. My insects sense one of them had a few muscles replaced with metal."

"You drugged them?" Kakashi asked Kabuto. "Answer me!"

As Fu Yamanaka pushed the kunai closer to the throat, nearly drawing blood, Kabuto adopted a fake smile. "Me? I did nothing. I was simply tasked to monitor them yesterday."

"What is it? An illusion?" Yugao wondered out loud. "A Genjutsu?"

"Limited Tsukuyomi."

The group put itself on guards, as a deep, stoic voice resonated. Slowly, an individual wearing black robes and a spiraled mask walked _through _the room's wall. His demeanor was calm and serene, inhumanly so. "An illusion that reads the heart's desire and traps the victim in a convincing simulation of it. A Genjutsu so perfect, one has to sacrifice his dearest dream to escape it. To sum it up… this is a self-inflicted prison. A living fantasy where one _wants _to spend eternity within to escape the despair of real life."

"Who are you?" Kakashi clenched his fists, ready to attack anytime.

"I am so many things, Hatake… you wouldn't comprehend half of them." The masked man shrugged his shoulders. "You can say I am… a magician. I turn the impossible, into the possible."

Yugao recognized him. "It was the man who evacuated Sasori and Orochimaru…" she said, the sentence chilling the room's air. This person was the affiliated with Akatsuki's leadership, and was not to be underestimated.

"Why are you here?" Torune asked.

"I can return you the question, Root. Why did Danzo send you? Is it for Mitarashi… or the Samsara, perhaps? He wants to be strong and young once more… I am sorry to disappoint him."

Although Yugao had no idea what they were talking about, the desire to free her friend was too strong to ignore. "Release the hold you have over Anko."

"Why? In her dream, she achieved her deepest desires: defeating Orochimaru, being respected by everyone… it would be cruel of me to take her out of her ideal world." The Akatsuki member chuckled, his tone betraying his insanity. "Perhaps would you like to have a perfect life too? Your lover can be reborn in your fantasy."

It took everything she had not to cut him in half. Yugao touched her pommel threateningly, managing to reign in her anger. "Why are you here?" Torune asked one more time.

"I expected the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki to locate her eventually," the masked man shrugged. "After all, she was his sensei, and he is surprisingly stubborn. I thought he would get out of the woods to find her… I guess Sarutobi was too smart to give him freedom." The man locked eyes with Kakashi.

"Hatake, your purpose has ended… and it is time to enjoy your reward." The masked man extended his arms. "Your paradise awaits you. A world where Obito Uchiha, Rin Nahora, and Minato Namikaze are alive, an illusion where you can pretend you never failed… your dream will come true inside the Limited Tsukuyomi. To all of you, the gate to a perfect world is open. You simply have to surrender your will to me."

"No," Kakashi replied, betraying a hint of surprise at the man's knowledge of his life. "You're coming with us."

"Fair well… if you refuse my black mercy…" The hole in the mask revealed a crimson Sharingan. "You shall drown in true despair."

Anko's knife moved to slice Yugao's throat.

* * *

**A/N:** thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

_On the reviews/PM I received:_

- I do have an idea for the pairings, but I'm going to tease many of them for all their worth. This way it will leave me room to take whichever option I want if I change my mind. That and it will provide humor.

- the 'Naruto's condition being impossible' issue: it will be addressed in chapter 9, and actually has an explanation that is coherent with the manga. I'm mostly going to expand on how the Sage taught people how to use chakra and the 'Juubi is the progenitor of all chakra' background.

- Jiraiya will have a bigger role as a sort of parental figure/big brother figure than in the manga. At least there will be more on-screen bonding scenes.

- Naruto will be an 'anti-superpower' kind of fighter, like the Templar Order from Dragon Age, or the Equalists from Legend of Korra (aka someone specifically trained and equipped to take down a specific threat).

_On the chapter:_

Sorry, no Han today. Gotta focus on the other characters too. Rejoice, he appears in the next chapter.

Rare are the stories that develop the snakes beyond _'selfish greedy evil bastards loyal to Orochimaru only'_ (the excellent Daybreak series is one of the most brilliant example where the snakes are humanized and befriended by the main cast). It falls apart when you realize Anko used them for years inside Konoha without any trouble. I believe that they are mercenaries who simply happen to be employed by the antagonists.

Yep, Orochimaru had Kimimaro cured and took his body as his own (boy it sounds _wrong_). Considering he stated he would have preferred this body instead of Sasuke's, I believe it makes sense.

The Limited Tsukuyomi is actually a canon technique and the main plot of the Road to Ninja movie (I would suggest checking it out: while it in no way the greatest Naruto movie ever and it missed a lot of opportunities, like developing Menma/Evil Naruto, it provides _very good_ character development for both Naruto and Sakura). The technique is a lot more efficient and vicious in Atlas due to Tobi having done field-testing in the background.

_On the story as a whole:_

I originally intended for the invasion to start around chapter 9, and the story to end around chapter 16. Since I've added a _lot_ of things to my original mapping of the story, I think I will expand the story so it lasts around 25 chapters. The training arc will last until chapter 10, and the Invasion will start at the end of chapter 11.

Would you kindly leave a review?


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks ABitterPill for betaing. If there are fans of Warhammer 40K nearby, check out my new humor fic, _Property Damage_!

**Disclaimer:** reading this means you're awesome. Think positive.

* * *

_**Chapter Nine:**_

_**Through the Eyes of Madness**_

Even before his favorite bowl of ramen, he couldn't enjoy the moment.

"Is something bothering you?" Ayame asked, approaching him. "Your heart doesn't seem in it."

"I'm thinking about a friend," Naruto admitted. "Her life is in danger and I can't stop worrying."

"Is it about what happened during the exams?" Ayame asked, causing the teen to frown. "I heard jounin discussing you were wounded fighting dangerous ninjas near Konoha's borders."

"It's linked to that, yes." He was surprised there were rumors on the Forest of Death's events, and that they reached even Ayame. "You don't seem happy either," he said, trying to change the subject.

The young woman inhaled sharply. "It pales before your problems."

"Go on. If I can help, I will."

Ayame smiled slightly at this. "Dad and I have been thinking about expanding the restaurant," she admitted. "Adding sushi to the menu, recruiting more workers, building a bigger restaurant, but we do not yet have the necessary funds. A Ramen Stand is fun, but it doesn't make you rich."

"Oh, I can help you with it," Naruto said. "Are you free tomorrow morning?"

"It's my day off." Ayame raised an eyebrow. "What do you intend-"

"Oi, Naruto!" Lee's voice cut the discussion short, as both the spandex genin and Neji Hyuuga sat next to the blonde. He suddenly realized how impolite he had been, and bowed slightly. "I apologize if I interrupted your courtship."

Both Naruto and Ayame blushed slightly, before rolling their eyes in perfect synchronization. Neji was vaguely annoyed by the reaction. "Lee wanted to spar one more time against you," the Hyuuga coughed, after politely bowing to the waitress.

Naruto groaned briefly, before finding a nice contest idea. "A yo momma duel." Everyone glanced at him strangely. "Psychological warfare is very important in battle. The contest will teach you to resist such attacks."

"Oi, yes, it will reinforce our spirit!" Lee grinned and started. "Your mom is so fat she can't see her feet."

"That's all you've got? You mom is so ugly I mistake her for your dad all the time."

"You mom died because she saw your face at birth and had a heart attack."

"Your mom is so poor she can't pay attention to you," Naruto replied, slightly impressed by Lee's ruthlessness. "That's fun because it's true."

"Your mom is such a vixen you got whiskers."

"Alright, you force me to use _it_." Naruto adopting a threatening fighting stance. "The yo mamma-geddon."

Lee blinked. "The what?"

"A joke so absurd it makes you want to eat your tongue," Naruto explained. "I refined it through years. An insult so powerful no one can survive it. I distilled the very essence of hopelessness and suffering _in a single sentence_."

"Bring it, Naruto," Neji replied blankly.

"Your mom is-"

Due to the possible presence of kids in the audience, the narrator will skip straight to the reactions of the people present.

Neji's expression crumbled into unadulterated shock.

Lee started crying.

Ayame reddened like a tomato.

Teuchi, working in the restaurant's kitchen, wanted to eat his tongue, but couldn't find the strength to.

The ramen bowls somehow moved away from the blonde.

"Naruto-san… that was _disgusting_!" Lee complained, washing away his tears.

"I don't care, I won," Naruto boasted. "You can't possibly top that."

"Naruto, I didn't know you had such a dirty mind…" Ayame trailed off, her face colored crimson.

After paying his bill and saying goodbye to the Ichiraku's owners, Naruto left with Neji and Lee, hanging out in the night. "Tell me," he asked them, "What kind of flowers does Tenten like the most?"

Lee scratched the back of his head, slightly surprised by his friend's question. Did he _finally _catch on? "Why?"

"Well, she did something pretty nice to me and I wanted to return the favor."

"I think from _you_, she would like roses better," Neji pointed out, inwardly hoping his friend would get the hint.

Unfortunately, he didn't. "Really?" Naruto asked, slightly confused. "I didn't think she was the kind of girl to like them."

Neji glared at the Jinchuuriki silently. "Moron," he told him bluntly. "How can someone like you be both so tricky and yet so damn _oblivious_?"

"What?" He frowned at Lee and Neji. "What's wrong?"

The two genin exchanged glances. "Which of us is going to tell him?" Lee wondered.

"I'm not," Neji deadpanned. "It's not our problem."

Naruto prepared to retort something, when they were interrupted by a strange duo. "Say it," Han told Sasuke, as they walked through the street.

"No." The Uchiha had traded his usual black shirt for a white one with the sentence _'I love dolphins' _written on it. He obviously wasn't happy with it. "I refuse."

"Do you want to learn the Water Dolphin Missile Jutsu that kills everything that bleeds or not?" the giant asked him. "Obey the Han or suffer the consequences."

Sasuke inhaled sharply. "I love dolphins," he said, every word sounding painful and ridiculous.

"That's the spirit. Everything is better with dolphins." The former Iwa-nin grabbed Sasuke's shirt and dragged him away. "Now, the Han will give you the power of a radioactive shiny dolphin!"

Naruto's group stayed silent an instant. "What just happened?" the Hyuuga prodigy asked.

"No idea," the blonde sighed, rolling. "Now, what's the problem with Tenten?" Once he glanced at the spot his friends used to occupy, he realized Lee and Neji had vanished. "Bastards."

Shrugging, Naruto went on a silent, lonely walk, observing the sky. He finally spotted Fuu's transformed body flying nearby. It landed on the training ground they usually used to spar, causing the blonde to go there. Once he arrived, the Jinchuuriki had adopted her human appearance once more. "Hi," she said, once he caught up to her. "How was your meeting with the Sandaime?"

"Pretty nice. How was your flight?"

"Nice. Nana says it would be good if you were to ride me next time, it enjoys your physical contact." She suddenly realized the accidental innuendo, and ground her teeth. "Not even remotely what you think it means."

"I never said it. Trust me, I'm the victim of this kind of misunderstanding from time to time." Naruto crossed his arms. "About Taki-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Fuu cut in suddenly.

"Never did I." He put his hand on her shoulder, making her squirm in surprise. "Look… whatever happened there, I wanted to say… here at least, you are welcome. I don't know what the Taki-nins did to you, but I promise you I will do my best to be a good friend to you."

The girl was slightly surprised by the admission, but beamed with happiness next. "Thanks," she said, briefly hugging him. "You're going to return home?"

"Later. I've got to-" He suddenly clenched his fists. "Fuu, prepare yourself."

The girl immediately broke the embrace and adopted a fighting stance.

A few meters away from them, under a tree, a young boy with red hair and cold eyes was standing, motionless.

"Tell me," Gaara of the Desert spoke, without any hint of emotion. "What is your name?"

* * *

As the Yonbi was fully extracted, as life was reaped from its Jinchuuriki's body, a god contemplated his work.

Death and life did not matter to Pain. He who could raise the dead as an extension of his will, and could ruin thousands of lives in a matter of seconds, was not troubled with such trivial considerations. Roshi had been nothing more than an ant crushed under a boot. A statistic. A small sacrifice fueling a greater design.

Yet, sometimes, the deity remembered what it was to be human. To have such a fragile existence, to love, to smile when you achieved a goal, to laugh at a joke, to cry when your friends died. Pain had left that behind him long ago.

No, there was only his dream, and obstacles in the way.

_Five, _he mused to himself. _Five remain out of my grasp. And four wait in the Leaf. Could it be a coincidence? Or do the nine aspire to be one once more?_

Madara had insisted he should leave his lair for once and attack the Leaf in person. The leader of Amegakure had refused, preferring to focus on unlocking the secrets of the Sage of the Six Paths, the secrets of Chakra itself. The ancient Uchiha had cursed and stormed off.

Whether or not the masked individual was indeed Madara Uchiha or a fake did not matter to Nagato. Legendary or otherwise, he was a mere man.

And Pain was a god.

Yet, Pain knew he wasn't omnipotent. Quite the contrary, in fact. He would die one day, be it in a week, a month, a year, or a decade. He would not leave long enough to enjoy his utopia, but at least he would lay its foundations. He would die in peace then, and only then.

Nagato closed his eyes, and dreamed of paradise.

* * *

"You," Gaara whispered softly, "What's your name?"

"Naruto Uzumaki." The blonde narrowed his eyes. How the psychopath had managed to sneak up on them and why, he had no idea, but considering his personality, a fight might break out. _The ANBU watching me can't have missed it, _he thought, noticing at least one masked man observing the scene from afar.

"I'm Fuu," the girl spoke, interlacing her fingers, prepared to strike. "You're Gaara of Suna, correct?" Of course, she was perfectly aware who he was, but preferred to play fool and better surprise him.

"Yes." The madman stayed silent an instant. "Jinchuuriki. You are the incarnations of demons too."

"Demon vessels," Naruto corrected, understanding playing dumb was futile. "How did you guess? Is it the Shukaku who told you?"

"Yes," he replied, unsurprised by their knowledge. "I wanted to see your eyes."

"Happy with what you see?" Fuu deadpanned.

Gaara made no sign he acknowledged her presence. In fact, all his attention was focused on Naruto, both teens having entered a silent staring contest. "Naruto Uzumaki, what do you live for?" Gaara's voice betrayed no hint of emotion.

"To be the strongest," Naruto replied, inwardly slightly disturbed. He had the feeling the madman would sense any lie and answer with deadly force. "To be at the top of the food chain."

"So you're a predator too." Gaara glanced briefly at Fuu. "And you?"

"To become the strongest kunoichi the world has ever seen," the Taki-nin said confidently.

"Good." Gaara shrugged. "Then you will understand why I have to kill you both."

A surge of pain flared in Naruto's neck, and he started releasing killing intent. "I would like to see that," Naruto threatened coolly.

"This is the way things are. I must be the strongest. Anyone who challenges this goal is a threat to my life." Gaara snorted, sand swirling around him. "Not yet. I will seek you out later. You will validate my existence."

As the psychopath vanished from their sight in a tornado of sand, Naruto glanced at his shoulder. The Curse Seal was sensing its host's murderous intents, but his will and Jiraiya's seal kept it in check. "Psycho," he whispered.

"Naruto, be wary," Fuu warned. "Nana and I can defend ourselves, but-"

"Hey, I can defend myself too." Whatever hopes he had of convincing Gaara to join them had been thrown out of the window. The boy was too unstable to be left alone. "I will have him killed for threatening us." It wasn't a possibility. It was a fact.

Fuu snorted. "I doubt he will leave us a choice in the matter."

_The worst part_, Naruto mused darkly, _is that I could have ended up like him._

Fuu went on to return home, offering to carry Naruto there by flying. The blonde politely refused, having another matter to attend to first.

Returning to the town, Naruto decided to seek out Jiraiya. The man was most likely near the hot springs, observing naked girls from a vintage point.

As it turned out, it was _exactly _what the pervert was doing.

"Ah, I like night baths," Jiraiya chuckled, as Naruto climbed onto the roof. The man was watching his unsuspecting victims through a telescope covered with seals. When the genin pointed a finger at them, the Sannin grinned. "They allow me to see perfectly in the dark."

_Somehow I get the feeling he became a legendary ninja just to peep better. _"I see."

"I see_? _That's your answer?" Jiraiya glanced at him strangely. "Don't you even want to take a look through it?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I learned what happened to you once you attempted that on Tsunade, and I'm in no rush to be hospitalized again."

Jiraiya shuddered, his facial expression utterly priceless in Naruto's humble opinion. "That was _one _single instance where it went horribly wrong!" The super-pervert instinctively glanced around him, as if the mere mention of the event would induce bad luck. "Seriously, how can't you seize the opportunity to peep on the hottest naked women in Konoha? Then again, I'm sure you're a girl magnet."

"You mistake me for Sasuke," Naruto snorted, sitting next to the Sannin. "The guy has got more fangirls than friends. My fanclub consists of only one girl."

Jiraiya glanced at him. "You're blonde, you've got blue eyes, you've got a pretty face, and your whiskers give you an exotic appeal. If you focused on flaunting your mysterious past and developed a brooding loner attitude, fangirls would flock to you like no other. Seriously, convert to emo-ism and they will worship the ground you walk on. Go shirtless from time to time and they will kill for an autograph."

"Sorry, I'm the friendly neighborhood type," Naruto snorted. "Anyway, I didn't come for your advice, as useful as they could be." _I wonder if he could give Sasuke pointers how to get rid of fangirls. _"I expected you to be more difficult to approach."

"What? The fact I'm an excellentninja does not mean I have to be haughty or a loner. Some of us grow well-adjusted."

Naruto decided perversion was not the definition he would give to 'well-adjusted', yet kept his mouth shut. "I've got a few questions to ask you. About summoning."

"If this is whether or not you can let a giant snake materialize right in front of me, you can dream." Jiraiya snorted loudly. "Why didn't you take the toads instead? Snakes are ugly jerks. No offense to your previous teacher."

"Nah, I understand." Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "To be honest, their values and mine aren't that far apart. I think we will have good chemistry, if I could fuel the summoning jutsu, that is."

"You've got a giant chakra battery in your belly." Jiraiya pointed a finger at the genin's stomach. "I specifically designed it so the Jinchuuriki could access to maximal influx of chakra in case of need."

Naruto frowned. "You designed the seal?"

"Helped design it, with your mother and the Yondaime Hokage, before the Kyuubi killed them both. We were prepared to transfer the Kyuubi anytime should Kushina be grievously wounded or on the verge of death."

_That_, Naruto didn't see it coming. "I learned you taught the Yondaime-"

"But not that I was friend with your mom?" Jiraiya dropped his telescope and locked eyes with the blonde boy. "She was perhaps one of the only women with whom I could maintain a friendship. She taught me a great deal about Fuuinjutsu."

Naruto narrowed his head. "What was she like?"

"Physically very pretty, with shining red hair, good nipples and one of the most wonderful ass-"

"No, I mean, _personality_-wise." Naruto barely managed to refrain himself from hitting the pervert.

Jiraiya shuddered. "Hot-tempered, wild, violent, with a sweet core. She was the kind of girl who would beat you up for a vague reason, and then treat your wounds afterward. You inherited her love for chatting and pulling pranks. She was extremely determined, brave, but she had enough smarts not to rush in desperate situations. She was a good friend."

"And my dad?" Naruto asked, hopeful. "Did you meet him?"

Jiraiya's expression darkened. "Yes."

"But you aren't going to tell me who he is," Naruto guessed, disappointed.

"The Sandaime expressly forbade me from doing so. And for good reasons." Jiraiya inhaled sharply. "Look, brat… your father was a good man. A great man. But he did something you may not appreciate. I promise you the Sandaime or I will tell you who he was, but not until you reach eighteen."

"I've had enough of being kept in the dark," Naruto cursed. "I have a right to be informed, damn it! I'm mature enough to take whatever truth that can be thrown at me."

"Sometimes, people do the wrong thing for the right reason." Jiraiya decided to switch the subject. "You wanted to ask me about summoning?"

Naruto did not bother to hide his annoyance. He wanted to push the issue further, but the Sannin's eyes silently told him to drop it for the time. "I want to fuel the Summoning Jutsu without relying on either the Kyuubi or worse, the Curse Seal," he explained. "I wondered if you had pointers or a solution."

Jiraiya scratched the back of his head. "Summoning an animal works by using your blood as an anchor, and chakra to fuel the space-time alteration bringing the creature to you," he explained, "Before the Sage of the Six Paths taught people how to use chakra, summoning rituals were fueled by violent ritual sacrifices. Blood is life turned liquid, so it makes a good substitute."

"So you imply I need to bleed a lot to summon creatures?"

"Impractical. You would faint trying to summon a viper." Jiraiya grinned. "However, there is an alternative power-source: natural energy."

The blonde was genuinely in the dark, causing the Sannin to mimic touching his neck. Naruto understood. "The Cursed Seal?"

"Natural energy is a special form of chakra produced by the terrain and atmosphere. You can say it is the collective chakra of the biosphere." Jiraiya crossed his arms. "The enzymes contained in the Curse Seal serve as an anchor to this energy. I heard of a extinct clan whose bloodline allowed a similar feat, so I suspect Orochimaru to have attempted reproducing the ability. I studied Anko's Curse Seal for years trying to understand its secrets."

"So you mean this allows anyone marked with it can gather this natural chakra passively?"

"It's more complicated," Jiraiya shook his head. "The Cursed Seal indeed stores natural chakra passively, giving an additional reserve to its user. You can say it turns someone into a pseudo-Jinchuuriki. However, the human body isn't made to handle this kind of chakra. It causes severe mutations that can be fatal, or force the body to adapt a form better fit to handle it. A frog or a bird, for example."

Naruto briefly shuddered. "Since I haven't gained wings, I guess the Curse Seal has a filter?"

"Orochimaru puts a tiny amount of his own chakra into each Curse Seal, which mixes with natural energy once the victim starts tapping into the additional reserve," Jiraiya explained. "On one hand, Orochimaru's Chakra prevents the user's body from suffering crippling mutations… but on the other hand, it starts mixing with the host's own chakra, which is extremely unhealthy and allows the madman to mess with your brain."

"Why not simply removing it then? Or replace it with another source of chakra?"

"Because I've yet to find a way to do so without killing the bearer," Jiraiya responded bluntly. "What I want you to understand is that the Curse Seal serves as an passive anchor and storage to natural energy, and my protections do not affect this. The natural chakra automatically surrounds you, although since it does not mix with the bearer's chakra - which you do not even have in the first place - without going through the filter first, it does not affect you or your surroundings in any way. But with the right summoning tattoos-"

"It would be possible to redirect the passive natural energy attracted by the Curse Seal, turning it into an external power source for the summoning," Naruto understood.

"Absolutely not," Jiraiya replied, causing the blonde to palm his face. "Natural Chakra fueling a Jutsu minus personal chakra as filter would probably make you grow a tail, or worse. You're such a biological anomaly I'm not even sure you wouldn't turn a bat-man or spider-man."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Biological anomaly? Sure I've got an illness-"

"Boy, you are a living insult to nature." The Sage inhaled sharply. "Think outside the box. Chakra is needed to live. It's as important as the heart for someone to live. Chakra depletion _kills_. You survived _for years _without any chakra. Get it?"

Naruto actually never considered it under that angle. "You imply-"

"I imply nothing, I can only guess." Jiraiya clenched his jaw. "Either you have a rare genetic disorder, which the Kyuubi only made worse… or once upon a time, humans did not have any chakra and could live without it, which the Nine Tails was aware of all along. You are potentially showing our modern theory about chakra is wrong, or at least, incomplete."

The implications caused Naruto to blanch. "But how? Even civilians have a spark of chakra and can die if it is removed!"

"Because after a time, their body grow with this spark of chakra to the point their very life is linked to it. But, if we were to remove it from an infant, or surgically destroy his chakra pathways and tenketsu as the Nine Tails did while he was very, _very _young, he could, perhaps, grow up without any chakra at all. Nobody has tested it yet, and the moral implications of experimenting on babies stay my hand, unlike a former teammate of mine. The other option is that you have a genetic mutation which the Kyuubi's actions caused to manifest." Jiraiya locked eyes with Naruto. "Brat, only the fox has the answers to these questions."

"He will never give me the answers." Naruto glanced away. "Look, could we stop talking about my condition? Let's return on the summoning. If I can't summon, then what are your tattoos going to do?"

"They would allow you to keep a summon with you anytime."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, and the old man explained. "Summons, after a time, automatically return to their home because they strive on natural energy, which their homes are loaded with. That's why they're bigger and smarter than normal animals. The Elemental Nations do not have enough natural energy to support them for long. Have you never wondered why loyal summons simply don't make their nest in Konoha?"

Jiraiya inhaled sharply. "If I modify the Cursed Seal, I could turn it into a senjutsu battery a summon could feed on. An anchor that would allow it to remain in the Elemental Nations as long as it stays with you."

"I could have animal familiars," Naruto trailed off, "Who could help me anytime…"

"In a nutshell. It is _a lot _more complicated, but I think I can manage. But it takes time and efforts and I'm a busy man," Jiraiya lied through his teeth.

"Are you blackmailing me?" Naruto pondered whether or not he should threaten the pervert ninja of informing every kunoichi he could of Jiraiya's observation points, before deciding menacing Orochimaru's equal was a bad idea. "What do you want? Money? Dirty photos?"

"I'm filthy rich, and although the second proposal is interesting, I've got a better idea." Jiraiya grinned lecherously. "Since you spoke of my… one bad day… I guess you have a decent grasp of Tsunade Senju's story, right?"

"She left the Hidden Leaf after the end of the Third Shinobi War, and Gai mentioned she snapped after loosing close relatives." Naruto raised an eyebrow. "She's coming back to deal with the invasion?"

"Sarutobi-sensei wants to enlist her," the pervert seal master confirmed. "I'm pretty certain she's going to refuse and leave as soon as she can. However, I may have a solution to force her to cooperate."

Jiraiya gave a light tap to Naruto's back. "I heard you frequented casinos…"

* * *

"Anko!" Yugao struggled, her tanto parrying her friend's kunai. "Anko stop this!"

The kunoichi did not listen and attempted to punch the ANBU. Yugao took a step back to dodge, deflecting another incoming slash next. The other prisoners attacked, two of them attempting to flank Cat. Bloody blades emerged from their forearms, ripping apart their own flesh.

"She does not see you," she heard the masked man laugh mockingly. "All she sees, is what _I _want her to see."

As she struggled to stop the surprised assault, Yugao allowed herself a brief moment to observe her allies. Torune had already executed one of his attackers with a mere slap, microscopic insects assaulting the cells and brain. The technique was rare and feared, and Yugao was thankful not to be on the receiving end of it.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was casually deflecting the blows of two other _'patients'_. Their teeth had been sharpened into fangs, dripping venom. It only took him a few hand seals to burn them into ashes with fire.

Unfortunately, Fu Yamanaka wasn't doing as well. Kabuto had seized the opportunity to free himself and counterattack. Scalpels of chakra formed around the medic's hands as he attempted to slice Danzo's solider in half, his speed betraying incredible experience and skills. Yugao was certain the man had been an ANBU once, before betraying the Leaf.

"You're very stupid if you think Tobiman is going to let you win," the masked man chuckled lightly, appearing behind Fu Yamanaka by surprise. He grabbed the poor Shinobi's head and in one motion, twisted the neck. As the corpse fell limp on the ground, the mysterious Akatsuki member touched Kabuto with his index. The scientist vanished, his body absorbed by the Sharingan. "Surrender, and Tobiman will let you keep two, yes, _two_, organs of your choice!"

Kakashi attempted to kill him with a Chidori, but both the attack and its user traversed the Uchiha as if he was made of air. "Who are you?" the copy-nin roared, attempting to cut the individual in half with a wind technique.

"An Uchiha, it should be obvious," the masked man deadpanned, unfazed by the blade of air. Another possessed prisoner attempted to tackle Kakashi, breathing fire from his mouth and nose. "Itachi Uchiha? Madara Uchiha? Why not Mikoto Uchiha? Take your pick, and let me delight in your confusion."

Putting her tanto back in its scabbard, Yugao attempted an iaido move. The strike cut in half her attackers, but she intentionally stopped her motion before she could reach Anko, opting to fight defensively. "Anko, I know you are somewhere in this thick skull of yours," she snarled, dodging a roundhouse kick from Orochimaru's former apprentice, "So wake up!"

"This is useless," the masked Uchiha mocked her efforts, his tone deepening into a frighteningly monotone voice. "These soldiers are the new face of the Shinobi world. Soulless automatons, robbed of free will. They cannot disobey. They cannot question the commands of their masters. They feel neither pain nor doubt. They fear nothing, not even death. They are _weapons_. And when I am done with you guys, you will join their ranks."

"Anko…" Yugao frowned. "You can't be that weak. You can't be a slave."

Anko Mitarashi's assault briefly stopped, causing the ANBU's eyes to widen in hope. "Anko, you are strong," she said, parrying the snake lady's kunai once more. "You survived Orochimaru's betrayal. You survived a lot of things. You can't let an illusion defeat you."

The previously emotionless kunoichi's face began to twitch slightly. Clearly, she was subconsciously struggling. "You are Anko Mitarashi, a Shinobi of Konohagakure," Yugao continued. "You have friends in the real world! People who are counting on you!"

The woman dropped her kunai and grabbed her temples, as if fighting an headache. "Don't you remember Naruto? Kurenai?" Yugao gave the final push. "Can you let this man steal them from you?"

"No!" Anko shouted, her eyes returning to their normal color. "I… I am no one's slave! I… I _am_!" She glared at the masked man, her face twisted into anger. "You asshole…"

"Oh, I am genuinely impressed you managed to break through the Limited Tsukuyomi." The mysterious Uchiha clapped his hands, oozing with arrogance and malevolence. "I guess I will have to do a little more field-testing. The human mind can be such a hard thing to break."

"Do you have any idea what you did to me?" Anko snarled, instantly summoning venomous snakes to bite the man. "You… you violated my mind!"

"I fail to see why it should bother me." He casually killed the animals with a volley of Shuriken, finding himself surrounded by the Konoha-nins, his thralls having been killed down to the last man. "Free-will is nothing but a cancer. Love, friendships, bonds, hope… these are words we tell ourselves again and again, until we forget they are lies. They drive us to pain and despair. Wouldn't it be better if they were removed? This way, you can see the plain truth."

"Which is?" Anko snarled, finishing a hand seal sequences.

"That whoever has the power, decides who wins and who loses. And I decided you would lose." As he vanished, a dozen explosive tags manifested in the space he used to occupy. "Die."

Most of the group reacted in time to leap backward, saving themselves from the explosion… but not Anko. She was too close to the source of the blast to escape it.

With a sickening noise, Orochimaru's former student was thrown against a wall, flames spreading over her body.

Two seconds later, the masked man materialized once more, slamming his palms to the ground. A blue inferno spread from them, consuming the walls and causing the ceiling to fall apart. Yugao deflected a chunk of rock that nearly crushed Anko with a powerful kick, allowing Torune to reach her and extinguish the flames with a water jutsu. "We need to find Kakashi-senpai and swarm the Uchiha," Cat commanded.

"No." Torune put the injured Anko on his shoulder. "The mission was to rescue her. We leave."

"Fuck the mission, senpai is still-" The Aburame didn't let her finish and escaped through the inferno. "Stop!"

A volley of fireballs were projected toward her, forcing the ANBU to dodge them one by one. The masked man teleported multiple times in quick succession, firing a new blast of fire from his open right palm every time. A wall of earth formed between them and Yugao, shielding her.

"Kohai," Kakashi's voice reached her ears, as he stepped at her side, "Get the hell out of there."

"And abandon you?" She tightened her hold over her tanto's pommel. "Are you mad?"

"Your fighting style is useless against his intangibility," Kakashi replied, revealing his Sharingan. "Only my eye can match his own. You might get caught in the crossfire."

Yugao ground her teeth. "You told me those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash."

"By dying there, you are abandoning Anko and the comrades that wait for you at home." Kakashi locked eyes with her, as the wall of earth shook. "Leave now, or I will be forced to kick you out. I will beat him."

Yugao knew it was a lie, but right now, she truly wanted to believe it. "Promise it."

"I promise I will defeat him," Kakashi lied with fake cheerfulness. "I won't allow my comrades to die. I will protect you with my life. Now go."

Yugao reluctantly obeyed, praying whatever god who would answer to protect her mentor. "Oh, and one last thing," she turned to glance at her teacher's back. "Take care of little Naruto and Sasuke for me, will ya?"

"I promise," she said, leaving him.

Once alone, Kakashi took a step back, his Earth Wall shattered by a powerful fireball. Out of the growing flames, ignoring the crumbling ceiling as if walking through a garden, the masked Uchiha emerged.

"Pushing your friends away, so you can try some heroic last stand, how silly. You have a serious martyr complex." The masked Uchiha snorted, his Sharingan's tomoe being replaced with a new design. "You are but a deluded fool, Kakashi. You could have been a great Shinobi, and in the end, you became a great failure. You failed your father. You failed your teammates. You failed your teacher. You failed your students. You failed your sensei's son. And now, you're about to fail your kohai too."

"This eye…" Kakashi trailed off, horrified, as he recognized the eye pattern. The one his own Sharingan sometimes adopted in times of extreme stress. "Where did you get it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The masked man shrugged his shoulders, then he teleported right in front of Kakashi, ready to hit. The copy-nin barely managed to catch the masked man's sucker punch with his open palm. "You said you won't allow your comrades to die. Yet, this is precisely what you did in the past."

"No…" Kakashi clenched his remaining fist, realizing the truth. "It can't be… you robbed his grave…" He pushed the man back, attempting to kill him with a lightning bolt.

"It was stupid of you and Namikaze not to get the body back," the masked man mocked him, the attack phasing through him. "Seriously, leaving little Obito under rocks and never bothering to unearth him and his Sharingan? How stupid can the Leaf possibly get?"

"Bastard!" Kakashi roared, unleashing a powerful gale of wind at the monster. The man shrugged it off easily, teleported right in front of his opponent, and punched his chest with enough strength to shatter a rib or two. The Copy-nin was tossed to the ground, a kick between the legs preventing from retaliating. "How can you do this?"

"I told you I was a magician." The masked man made a mock reverence, as his foot stomped on Kakashi's face, breaking the nose. "However, the preparations for my greatest show aren't finished yet. A part of me wants to let you live to see it… and another _really _wants to kill you. So hard to choose…" The mysterious Uchiha appeared to reach a decision. "Be happy, Tobiman is going to let you live this time. See you soon, doggy."

"Get back!" Kakashi snarled, as the individual dematerialized into nothingness. The ANBU captain cursed, doing his best to get up and dodge falling debris.

* * *

Outside, Yugao glared at Torune, who deposed the unconscious Anko to the ground. "Kakashi-senpai can't win alone," she stated angrily.

"He will manage," the Aburame replied. "The mission is to bring Mitarashi back alive to Konoha. That's all that matters."

"No! What matters is not leaving your comrades behind like some trash!" Yugao complained. "We must go back-"

"Mitarashi will die."

The sentence, said with a chilling, flat tone, caused Yugao to pause and confirm his words. Unfortunately, this was an evidence, now Cat could see the damage the explosion caused.

The explosive tags had blown up a good chunk of Anko's torso, from the breast to the stomach. The flesh had been consumed by the heat and flames, revealing the heart. "She will have an hemorrhage soon, if the burns and concussion don't kill her first in the next minutes," Torune said without any hint of emotion. "Fu might have been able to keep her alive. But unfortunately, my knowledge of medical jutsu is limited-"

"Do something about it!" Yugao commanded, despairing over what was happening. _This is a nightmare… I need to wake up… _"Anko, stay alive please, the medics-"

"Cat…" Anko glanced at her friend, blood flowing from her mouth. "Last words are for those… who haven't said enough… so please… listen."

Yugao approached her face to Anko's mouth, listening to her weak plea. "Kill the… snake bastard…" She smiled briefly, adding another demand to her last request. "Watch… the brat…"

"I will," Yugao promised, seizing her friend's hand. "Anko… I'm so sorry, I should have…"

At this point, the words were for naught. Anko kept staring at her, her eyes devoid of life.

Yugao would have cried, if she still could. Torune, for all his blunt stoicism, did not try to tell her to move. They just stayed there in silence, as if time had stopped.

"Cat…" Kakashi put an hand over her shoulder. "Let's go home."

* * *

**A/N: **when you think about it, the fact Obito is revealed to be Tobi means Konoha (and by extension Minato and Kakashi) didn't bother to unearth his body. I think I would be bitter as well if my comrades didn't bother to try getting my body back after nearly two decades.

An Iaido move is releasing the sword from the scabbard to strike. The movement is stronger than a normal strike if executed well. Which is what Mifune does all the time.

The Yo-momma moment was a shout out to a Deadpool/Spiderman duel you should all check out. There was a shout out to Order of the Stick too. Guess where.

I personally think Pain's madness/sadomasochist tendencies come from the fact he can revive anyone, anytime. Human life just doesn't matter anymore to him: you are but an object he can repair anytime for him.

About Anko, first law of Naruto: any mentor a character has, tends to die in a very emotional scene which leads the student to take a level in awesomeness. Enough said. And the 'teleport plus explosive tags for the win' move is taken from Ultimate Ninja Storm 3. The Masked Man is seriously broken (although he pales before Deidara).

Would you kindly leave a review?


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

**Disclaimer:** reading Atlas can turn you into Batman.

**Important Info:** after receiving a PM I would like to point out, _again_, that I know Naruto isn't two years older than the rest of his class, but I made the age up to justify some physical feats. A twelve years old boy leaping from roof to roof for hours would be difficult to believe, whereas if it is a sixteen years old teen it is easier to justify.

* * *

_**Chapter 10:**_

_**Boys and Girls**_

When Naruto exited the Hokage's house, he glanced at his ultra-perfectly-scheduled agenda. He had to meet a few girls in less than four hours, and he would succeed "Let's go."

The first one was Ayame. Knocking at the door of the apartment she shared with her father, Naruto waited patiently, carrying one suitcase. The young woman opened it silently. She had dropped her waitress uniform and bandanna for a black, casual dress, which the blonde found rather elegant. "Naruto, what is-"

"Thirty million ryo," he declared, revealing the money inside the suitcase to a surprised Ayame. "For Ichiraku's."

"B-but where did you find that much money?" Ayame asked in shock, seizing the suitcase to see whether or not the ryo inside were fake.

"Short story, I gambled. Long story, I went with a crazy old man to a casino yesterday night and I kept winning so many times the owners gave me a lot of money just to see me gone." Naruto smiled cheerfully. "I'm sure it will be enough for the expansion."

"Naruto, you're… you're an angel." She grabbed the blonde by the shoulders, approached his head from her own, and kissed his cheek. The boy blushed in surprise, and the waitress smiled kindly upon releasing the embrace. "Would you like to come inside? I'd like to offer you breakfast."

"Sorry, I've got a few errands to run," he politely declined, before waving at her and leaving. "But don't worry, you can cook me a few ramen tonight!"

* * *

When he arrived before the Hyuuga Compound, Naruto glanced at his watch. He was thirty minutes behind on his schedule, which was bad. "Alright," he thought, climbing the walls and exploiting the flaws in the guards' routine to enter unhindered, "This will be quick."

Reaching the training ground, Naruto found Hinata and a little Hyuuga girl practicing the Gentle Fist. Recognizing the latter as Hanabi, Hinata's younger sister and the possible heir of the clan, the blonde decided to ignore her hostile gaze. "Hinata, I've something to tell you."

"You're the one who humiliated father," Hanabi stated, cutting in. "You have no right to be there!"

"Look I don't have the time-"

"I do," Hanabi replied, adopting a threatening stance. "I will expel you myself."

Naruto rolled his eyes, and lazily dodged a Juuken strike. "Alright, if you wish to fight me, then revel in my divine power!" Joining his hands, the blonde prepared his ultimate technique.

"ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!"

Then he put his finger in Hanabi's ass.

While the young girl shrieked at the surprise contact, it couldn't compare to her older sister's horrified reaction. Using all his strength in one motion, Naruto sent the little girl to fly. "She'll survive," Naruto told the shocked Hinata, not bothering to look where Hanabi had landed.

"N-Naruto-senpai, that… that was disgusting…"

"Trust me, it's a lot less anally violating than Anko's version," he replied, inwardly praying it wouldn't be taken for sexual assault on a minor. "I'm already behind on my schedule, so I will make it quick: congratulations for reaching the Third Exam. You did superbly."

"T-thank you."

"However, I'm pretty certain you have a rough idea of how Neji will react if you do fight him in the first round, and why." Hinata narrowed her eyes in shame. "You've nothing to do with what happened to his dad, but he won't care. He will beat you up senselessly due to his grudge against the Main Family. This is hard to say, but-"

"I won't surrender," she interrupted, her voice betraying her inner determination. "I… I have gotten this far, I will not disappoint my team and my father."

Naruto sighed. He had expected this answer. "I hoped to convince you to give up, but I respect your choice. I will try convincing Neji not to be… petty… but if it looks bad, I advise you to surrender before he resorts to extreme force."

"I have to impress my clan," she replied. "This is the only way I have to remove the Caged Bird Seal."

"Well, that's…" Naruto's eyes widened, upon understanding what she had said. "Care to repeat?"

"If I become heiress and the Clan's head, I will have the authority needed to… abolish the Branch Family." Hinata interlaced her fingers. "I hoped to remove Neji's seal after I become Chuunin… if I pass on my first try, the elders will be impressed enough to agree."

A myriad of plans took shape in Naruto's mind, until he found an interesting one. "I think I may have a solution."

After explaining his plan to Hinata, who seemed slightly skeptical, Naruto prepared to leave, and realized he had forgotten something. "By the way, you and Kiba would make a cute couple."

The Hyuuga heiress blinked. "W-what?"

"He cares about you, yet in spite of his bravado he's inwardly too shy to ask a girl out, so he tries to impress you through different means," Naruto explained. "Since he's a better match than myself, perhaps you should try dating him."

"W-wait!" Hinata commanded, yet too late. The blonde had vanished, abandoning her to her thoughts.

Hurrying as fast as he could, Naruto managed to reach the top of the Hokage Monument on time, sweating and panting. "You're exhausted to the point of collapsing!" Fuu noted disapprovingly, helping him get on his feet. "Are you sure you can do it?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired," he grinned, bringing out his tools from hidden pockets. "Sandaime-jiji is going to have a cardiac arrest when he sees it."

When they finished, Naruto was tired, and very, very late. As he raced as fast as his legs could toward the Hokage Tower, he realized there was no way he would make it on time. "Shit, shit, shit…"

"Hey, brat, you running late too?" Jiraiya suddenly appeared at his right, running as well. "What were you doing?"

"I was being awesome. And you?"

"Being _more _awesome."

"The Han is sorry to say you're both little league compared to His divine glory." The Gobi's Jinchuuriki started running next to them, coming out of nowhere. "Where are you going?" he asked his fellow demon vessel.

"The Hokage Tower, but we won't be able to reach the Sandaime's office in time."

"Oh, that?" The giant chuckled. "The Han knows a shortcut route."

* * *

"This is why I asked you to return," Sarutobi said. "Will you fight for us?"

Tsunade hadn't changed in the slightest. Of course, this was probably the result of her special henge, of which her old teacher was secretly jealous. She appeared in her twenties, wearing a sleeveless grey outfit flaunting her sizable cleavage. Her brown eyes and blonde hair, combined with her beautiful face, confirmed her reputation as one of the world's most beautiful kunoichi.

Her apprentice, Shizune, had been a little girl the last time Sarutobi had met her. She had grown into a fair and slender woman, with short black hair and eyes of the same color. She was wearing a bluish kimono and carrying a pig.

Sarutobi would have found it strange, if he wasn't occupied scratching the back of the platypus sleeping on his lap. Damned Naruto, couldn't he give him a less ridiculous animal to take care of?

"No. Sorry, Sarutobi-sensei… I can't." Tsunade shook her head. "I can heal the people injured during the fighting, however."

"This is not of a healer I need. It's a frontline fighter." Sarutobi inhaled from his pipe. Jiraiya and Naruto should have there already, with their 'perfect' solution to the Tsunade problem. What were they doing? "While your actions will save many lives, Orochimaru is an army all of his own, and I need highly skilled ninjas to deal with him."

"I've abandoned the fighting a long time ago," she shrugged. Sarutobi believed her hemophobia had something to do with it, along her general dislike of Konoha as a whole. "I don't want to do it anymore."

"If so-"

Then the windows shattered.

Sarutobi instinctively put himself on guards, imitated by Tsunade and her apprentice. Both glanced, amazed, at the people having crashed on his desk.

"Did…" Jiraiya groaned, his face and limbs covered with scrapes. Naruto Uzumaki was standing atop him, the Sannin having served as an unwilling protection and landing platform. "Did your friend just throw us through the office's windows?"

"Well, thanks for having sacrificed yourself, being my meat shield, and serving as a comfortable shock absorber." Naruto's feet met the office's ground, and he politely bowed to the people present. "Hi, I'm the Amazing Naruto Uzumaki, Konoha's soon to be strongest ninja," he told Tsunade and Shizune. "Nice to meet you, misses."

Both women stared at him blankly, unable to mutter anything.

"Sorry for the dynamic entry, but we were running late." Naruto briefly observed the legendary kunoichi, quite impressed by her assets. _Jiraiya wasn't kidding when he said she had the biggest bust in the Elemental Nations. _"So? Will we fight together against Orochimaru?"

Regaining control of herself, Tsunade snorted. "Sorry brat," she shrugged, glancing at Jiraiya. "Is this your new apprentice, Jiraiya? If I find out you tried to teach him your habits…"

"Nice to see you too, Tsunade-hime," the Sannin deadpanned, occupied at removing the glass shards from his flesh. "Bring it out kid. She isn't going to fight for us otherwise."

Naruto searched in his pockets and pulled out a contract before presenting it to Tsunade. "It's a copy," he explained. "The real one is safe elsewhere."

The Sannin started reading it. "This document is the proof," she began reading, "That Naruto Uzumaki and Jiraiya have collectively brought the gambling debts of Tsunade Senju from her debtors. Tsunade Senju, heir of the Senju therefore owes them a debt of… _three hundred million ryo_…" She actually blinked, "As she is considered insolvent, the United Casino and Gambling Association will refuse her entry to any establishments under their authority until the debts are erased."

"It was faster to pull off than we thought it would be," Jiraiya admitted, "Now, you can't gamble anymore unless you pay back your debts."

"In my case, I'm now dead broken," Naruto whined.

"But… but I don't have these funds!" Tsunade complained, trying to find evidence, any indication, that the document was a forgery.

"Well, we could erase this debt if you helped us a little," Jiraiya grinned. "Like giving us support during the invasion."

Sarutobi carefully brought out from his desk a bottle of sake. Seeing Tsunade's horrified and cornered expression, the Hokage decided helping drown her anger would be a good thing.

"Hey, see the good side of things!" Naruto smiled cheerfully. "You won't have to whore out to pay back your cred-"

Killing intent caused him to take a step back. "What… did you say brat?" the Senju asked, clenching her jaw.

"Isn't your nickname the 'Legendary Sucker'?" Tsunade twitched, but nodded. "Well… since you're a woman of legendary beauty… I thought it meant-"

Tsunade reddened like a tomato upon understanding the implications. Jiraiya's reaction did not improve things. "Oh, I get it!" the pervert roared in laugher. "Ah! Tsunade-hime, you're such a dirty girl!"

The Senju, vowing to murder Jiraiya at a later date, grabbed Naruto's throat and lifted him above the ground with one hand. "You brat!" she seethed, causing Sarutobi to ponder whether or not he would have to intervene. "Give me one reason not to kill you on the spot!"

"Read the fine print," Naruto replied calmly, putting the contract in front of Tsunade's face.

The Sannin grinded her teeth and complied. "In case Tsunade Senju is to injure and/or kill Naruto Uzumaki, the property of her debts will be fully transferred to… _Jiraiya of the Sannin,_" her eyes widened in horror, "Making her _his unwilling slave, forever_."

Sarutobi silently opened the bottle of sake, and offered it to his female student.

It took three more bottles and one hour of careful diplomatic discussions to convince her not to go on a rampage and to agree to help Konoha, which would result in Jiraiya and Naruto canceling her debt and allowing her to gamble again. When it was over, Naruto smirked at the Sandaime. Understanding he was about to be pranked, the old man caressed his new pet platypus and waited. "Bring it on."

"Look at the Hokage Monument."

Sarutobi did as he was told, and for an instant, didn't find the problem. The faces of the five Hokage were where they should be-

Sarutobi blinked. _Five? _He pondered, until realization hit him with the strength of a sledgehammer.

Naruto had sculpted his face onto _the Hokage Monument_.

"See? See? I told you I would do it!" Naruto boasted to Jiraiya. "Now, you owe me a favor."

"I admit it, brat… You've got balls." The Sannin glanced at his teacher. "Sarutobi-sensei?"

"I am torn between wanting to punish Naruto and asking how he managed to pull it off at all," the Hokage admitted. "I am indecisive."

* * *

"When you proposed to give me this seal," Naruto began, "I wondered, what would I offer you as gift in return for your kindness? Flowers? A scary impractical armor with spikes everywhere? Then I remembered you idealized Tsunade…" The Senju entered the weapon shop. "So I brought her to you!"

Tenten had the face of… scratch that, Naruto had never seen her with this expression. The kunoichi seemed entranced, paralyzed. She slowly approached and touched the older woman, as if wanted to see whether or not it was someone wearing a henge. Then she attempted a genjutsu dispelling. Then she started asking difficult questions only either a fanatical fan of the Senju princess or Tsunade herself could answer.

Naruto actually learned interesting tidbits of info. That, for example, Tsunade's favorite food was chicken breasts and her least favorite food liver sashimi. Her favorite sentence was_ 'one grab, a thousand gold'. _That she created the four rules to which medic-nins abide by.

Then, upon realizing that yes, it was Tsunade, Tenten hugged Naruto, nearly squishing him. "I love you so much!" she shouted happily.

"You're welcome… but you're… choking… me…" Naruto gasped for air, when the kunoichi released the embrace and nearly immediately asked Tsunade for an autograph. The blonde watched his friend, happy to see her in such a good mood.

It had taken a lot of time to convince Tsunade to agree to this visit. After all, she already disliked Naruto himself for blackmailing her, and simply being on friendly terms with Jiraiya. Considering the old man's habits and Naruto's own comments, she was probably convinced he was a pervert in the making.

However, after being told Tenten idealized her and wanted to be a pretty strong kunoichi _and _wanted to castrate Jiraiya, Tsunade had strangely ceased complaining, deciding to meet the girl herself.

Leaving the two inside the weapon shop, Naruto confronted Jiraiya outside. The Sannin was reading the 'anti-chakra' seal's design, genuinely impressed. "Your girlfriend will be a sealmaster," he outright told his younger friend. "She's wasting her skills on taijutsu."

"Can't Tenten be good both at Taijutsu and sealing?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "And for the third time today, she isn't my girlfriend."

"Ah yes, I forgot, it was Yugao. Or Fuu. Or that waitress. I admit I lost count." Jiraiya locked eyes with the Jinchuuriki. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Getting girls wanting to get into your pants while doing _nothing _out of the ordinary. Is it a kind of hidden technique?"

Naruto palmed his face. He had underestimated how badly Jiraiya could misunderstand the situation. "Just because you are friends with a lot of girls doesn't mean they're necessarily chasing you or vise-versa."

The Sannin snorted, unconvinced. "The Hyuuga girl has had a crush on you since you were a kid. This Tenten goes to pretty extreme lengths to help you for a mere friend, and you seem to have grown nearly inseparable of this Fuu girl and Yugao. The waitress kissed you. If at fifteen you're building a harem, I wanna see what you will be at twenty."

"You think I'm a _closet womanizer_?" Naruto's jaw dropped. "Look, Hinata has serious self-esteem problems and latched at the most determined person she set her sight on in hope of finding strength anywhere but in herself. This a deeply rooted psychological issue, and I blame her father for destroying her self-confidence. Tenten is one of my best friends and it will stay that way."

Naruto crossed his arms. "Fuu did not have a real friend before she met Han and I, and just as I tend to be clingy to the few people that do not hate me outright, she is deeply enjoying the experience. Yugao recently lost her lover and is in serious need of moral support, hence why we hang out together. And-" The Jinchuuriki briefly blinked. "Wait, how did you learn Ayame kissed me? I don't remember any other witness."

"I'm always watching over you. Especially at night."

Naruto took a step back.

"Not in _that _way moron! Ever since I has heard Orochimaru attempted to abduct you twice, I keep an eye on you anytime I'm not peeping or working for the Hokage, just in case." The Sannin coughed briefly.

"Turning back to the important subject, while you may be blind for the others, you just can't deny the waitress and Tenten like you. Why are you so adverse to romantic relationships? At your age, most teens think with what they have between the legs," Jiraiya admitted bluntly.

"That's precisely why I don't want to pursue any relationship." Naruto shrugged his shoulders at the Sannin's incomprehension. "Jiraiya-sama…"

"Call me Jiraiya, brat. Jiraiya-sama makes me feel old."

_You are old, _Naruto almost blurted, managing to restrain himself at the last second. "Jiraiya, I've never been in a romantic relationship. But I've seen others try. I've seen reasonable people do stupid things for a single smile from their crush. And a friend of mine was deeply affected by the loss of her lover. What would I do if my girlfriend was captured by Orochimaru, or killed because of me? I would probably make stupid decisions I cannot afford."

Jiraiya observed him strangely. "You're wise kid. And too dutiful to be happy."

"Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain." Naruto shrugged. "I was ready to sacrifice a potential family life when I decided to become a Shinobi. I still am."

Jiraiya inhaled sharply. "Kid, don't do that." Before Naruto could retort, the Sannin had already started explaining. "This way of thinking will make you a better Shinobi yes. You will have fewer weaknesses. But there is no greater danger for yourself than emotional repression. We're humans. We're _not _machines. In face of tragedy, we need emotional attachment to press forward. The ninjas who slowly cut off nearly all their bonds either become self-destructive wrecks, like Kakashi and me, or turned into emotionless killing machines, like Itachi Uchiha."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You're a self-destructive wreck?"

"I think it's bad news when the only people I speak with on a regular basis are Sarutobi and you," the sage snorted. "To return back to your friend's anti-chakra seal, the theory has merits. If you ignore the multiple problems I will have to solve, it could indeed be designed."

"So you can make it work?"

"Yes. When and how, however, is hard to determinate. With luck I will be able to finish a prototype before the invasion, but boy, sealing needs _a lot _of field-testing." Jiraiya snorted. "One day I saw your mom turning green and shouting 'HULK SMASHES' because one of her seals malfun-"

An explosion of smoke interrupted the discussion. A creature manifested right in front of the duo.

It was a black cobra. A _big _cobra. Naruto had little doubt the creature could crush bones with its tail, and its scales thick enough to resist arrows. The animal's eyes were just as black as its body, and the design on his hood was composed of shades of golden, representing opened eyes. It was carrying a scroll.

"My name is Apophis, Naruto-sama," the snake hissed politely, "I am a messenger and herald of the White Snake Sage."

"I swear that old reptile crashes in at the worst times on purpose." Jiraiya crossed his arms. "What does he want?"

"I have been tasked by the White Snake Sage to assist and help Naruto-sama, as a token of good faith," the creature declared, after deposing the scroll to the ground. "The White Snake Sage decided since you sought an animal familiar, I was the most fit to fill the role and teach you your duties as snake summoner. I have also been ordered to give Naruto-sama important news."

The fact the serpent elder had been informed of Naruto's desires was both impressive, disturbing, and interesting. He would have to confirm it was a true story later. The blonde handed the scroll to Jiraiya. "Is there a seal or a trap? It could be a trick."

The Sannin analyzed quickly, and handed the document back to the blonde. Silently, the teen opened it, and since his face didn't explode, he started reading it. His expression and mood worsened considerably, and he had to fight against the temptation to cry.

"Hey, what does it say?" Jiraiya asked, sounding worried.

"It says Anko was killed during the rescue mission."

* * *

When he arrived for the Kage meeting, Naruto immediately understood Sarutobi had been informed about Anko. He simply had to see his uneasy expression. "I know what happened," the blonde said with a surprising lack of emotion. He had already cried all the tears in his body before arriving, with Jiraiya as the sole witness of this display of weakness.

The Hokage had clenched his jaw and uttered a single sentence. "I am sorry."

Konoha was in high spirits, when the Wind and Water delegations arrived. The delegations were actually pretty small, no more than twenty people, most of them ANBU or advisers. Many would consider it suicidal for the heads of nations to travel with such a petty escort, but Kage were armies of one man. They would be present for two weeks and then leave.

Two weeks, and the Third Exam would start.

Two weeks, and the Invasion would start.

Two weeks, and Naruto would have a shot at avenging Anko.

The two Kage immediately asked to meet their Konohagakure counterpart. Sarutobi welcomed them in an expensive, soundproof reception hall, abiding by the old rule of bringing two bodyguards. Jiraiya had volunteered, his impressive reputation being a boon for negotiations, and since the Sandaime desired the Leaf's Jinchuuriki to be present, Naruto worked as the second bodyguard.

The Kazekage's first bodyguard was a jounin called Baki, and Gaara's jounin teacher.

The second was Gaara himself.

Which was unfortunately disturbing, as the redhead kept watching at Naruto all the time. He didn't bother to see whether or not his Kage was protected: he only smiled at the blonde demon vessel, like a hyena appraising an appetizing meal.

It was bad. If Gaara wanted to kill the genin so badly, he would probably try to ambush him before the Third Exam's deadline. In an attempt to ignore the mad boy's eyes, Naruto focused on the rest of the people present.

The Kazekage was a stern man. His traits oozed with coldness and heartlessness. The most worrying thing, however, was the family resemblance between him and Gaara. Considering the practice of creating Jinchuuriki out of family members, Naruto immediately understood the two were either father and son or uncle and nephew. In both cases, how Gaara turned out spoke volume about the Kazekage's personality.

The Mizukage's bodyguards were perhaps among the most bloodthirsty killers the Seven Swordsmen had produced during their career. Kushimaru Kuriarare and Jinpachi Munashi had been nicknamed 'the heartless pair' by Konoha, and for good reasons. These two were rumored to have killed over one thousand people during the most recent troubles in Kiri, according to Jiraiya.

Half of them were non-combatants unfortunate enough to get in their way.

The Mizukage was however quite different. Ever since Anko had spoken of her, Naruto had been searching for any info he could on Mei Terumi, probably the deadliest kunoichi the Hidden Mist ever produced. Wielding two Kekkai Genkai with incredible proficiency, she had claimed fame and glory during the last Great Ninja war by being the one to give the killing blow to the reputed unbeatable Third Raikage. When she was still a genin.

Of course, the guy had been fighting a force of ten thousand for three days, so he was already pretty weakened when she reached him, but it was the thought that mattered.

She was also famed for her great beauty, and Naruto had to agree it was no exaggeration. Jiraiya himself seemed to be struggling to not drool. With her long auburn hair, shining green eyes, and… bust… she was an eye catcher. And considering her very revealing blue dress, she wasn't above using her sex appeal to her advantage.

The discussion between the three Kage was pretty cordial, at least at first. After the usual greetings, the Kazekage and Hokage started discussing the recent troubles. Considering the Kazekage was planning an invasion, and Sarutobi was well aware of that, Naruto had to admit both were incredible actors.

He _nearly _believed the Kazekage when he declared he was convinced Konoha had nothing to do with the border attacks, and that he would maintain peace between the two countries. And Naruto _nearly _believed the Hokage when the old man said he trusted the Kazekage with his life. The sheer hypocrisy of the scene could break any heart.

This was diplomacy in a nutshell.

However, the Mizukage actually stayed silent during most of the discussion, letting the men deal with their problems. In fact, she spent most of the meeting glancing at Naruto himself. Since both she and Gaara kept staring at him for nearly two hours, the teen found the experience slightly disturbing.

He smiled at Mei, who smiled back.

Obviously, he interested her.

However, it was the Kazekage who first addressed Naruto's issue. "I am surprised your Jinchuuriki did not participate to the Exams," the man noted. "I believe it would be a good test if my son Gaara and him were to fight for the opening match of the Third Exam. This would be a show of force." Naruto quickly understood he intended to have Gaara kill him before the invasion started.

"I am afraid Naruto was promoted to Chuunin yesterday by a decree of the Fire Daimyo," Sarutobi replied mirthfully. "A chuunin fighting a genin wouldn't be fair."

While this was a polite way of defusing the situation, Naruto was genuinely surprised by the admission, although he did not show it. "Considering what Kiri's last Jinchuuriki could do," Mei pointed out, "A fight between two would cause untold damage to the region."

The Kazekage was forced to back down, much to Gaara's displeasure.

The meeting ended without much hassle, and Mei left with one last smile to Naruto, creeping him out. "The rumors say she's onto male teens," Jiraiya told him, once the three Konoha-nins were finally alone, "Lucky boy."

"Sometimes, I wonder if wearing a mask would have been easier," Naruto joked, briefly pondering if this was the real reason Kakashi was constantly masked. "She seemed subdued." He glanced at the Hokage. "I guess it was planned between you?"

"Most of our discussions were through proxies," Sarutobi coughed. "Kiri will help us during the invasion. They can't give more strength than the people Terumi brought there, or else Suna would guess what's happening, but they will give support."

Naruto nodded. The whole distant act had been planed to lessen the Kazekage's suspicions. "Why would she help us?"

"Because Akatsuki is behind the recent troubles in Kiri." Sarutobi interlaced his fingers. "From what she told me, they discovered Yagura, her predecessor, had been under the influence of a powerful Genjutsu similar to Shisui's brainwashing technique for years. The Village was already known as the Bloody Mist since the downfall of the Nidaime Mizukage, but at least some of Yagura's recent actions had been orchestrated to make abducting both the Rokubi and Bloodline Wielders easier. To what end, she does not know, but the description of Yagura's most secret and influential adviser matches the masked man's."

It wasn't hard to put the two and two together. "She wants Akatsuki gone and the Rokubi, or the Sanbi, back."

"In my humble opinion, they have been captured and sealed. Nearly all the remaining Jinchuuriki are gathered in Konoha at this very instant. Akatsuki _will _interfere personally. And we're going to trap them."

Naruto crossed his arms. "I can already see their hand in the Kazekage's demand. They want Gaara and I to be weakened, so when they arrive they will reap us like harmless flowers. I guess my promotion was a preemptive measure?"

"Considering the Kazekage's psychological profile, I guessed he would ask something like that… luckily, I can read him like an open book. Considering your services, skill level and maturity, I considered you were worthy of a promotion. Both the Daimyo and the Clan Heads seconded my request. I will give you your new jacket tomorrow."

"Welcome in the adult world," Jiraiya gave the teen a light tap. "I will explain to you the perks of being a Chuunin later, like free access to the Red Light-" A silent glare of his old teacher caused the Sannin to pause.

"However," Sarutobi took his breath. "There is one thing we have to do first."

* * *

Anko's funeral had been a quiet ceremony, with only a few people attending. Beside the Hokage and Naruto himself, Yugao Uzuki, Kakashi Hatake, Kurenai Yuhi, Asuma Sarutobi, Maito Gai, and surprisingly, Mei Terumi and her bodyguards had been present. Considering the Kiri-nin had been a sort of rival of Orochimaru's former student…

Anko's body had been incinerated, as per her last wishes. The ashes had been buried in the grave, while her name had been engraved on the memorial of the ninjas having fallen in the line of duty.

When the ceremony was over, Naruto found himself staring at the monument alone with Yugao. Kakashi had given the blonde a brief apology, which he accepted without much thought. Most of his thoughts were directed toward how he could make this masked man pay.

Violently.

Naruto and Yugao stood in silence an instant, before the latter broke it. "She made me promise to watch over you," she said. "I intend to follow up on it."

"I… well, thanks." Naruto put his hands into his pockets. "I have now a masked man on my hit list. It seems to be growing longer with each passing day."

"Me too." Yugao inhaled sharply. "I'm going to watch over you from now on. And train the rest of the time."

"Well, we have two weeks left to improve. Should be enough."

* * *

"How can the Han make you lose this depressed face?" the Jinchuuriki asked, as he, Sasuke, and Fuu continued drinking at a bar with Naruto. "The Han is worried."

"You can't do a thing." He snorted. "Although having Sasuke say he loves dolphins might work."

"You heard foxy," Han told his disciple, who shook his head. "Do you want to anger the Han, the breaker of bones and lord of all that is bad and nasty?"

"… I love dolphins…" The Uchiha ground out through his clenched teeth, before locking eyes with Naruto. "If you intend to take revenge, I'll help you in any way I can."

"Me too," Fuu said, before trying to lighten the mood. "Is it true you have been promoted to Chuunin?"

"Yep. Now I'm qualified as squad leader, and you are my loyal minions." Naruto snorted. "Guys… if I proposed you a plan... a very, very, very crazy plan... would go along with it?"

"The Han always has a one hundred percent chance of success," the giant replied. "That's why the Han is awesome."

"Considering you have a little talent for pulling off insane ideas, I guess I might, yes," Fuu replied.

Sasuke simply shrugged. "Go ahead."

"Let me explain how we're going to tear Akatsuki a new one."

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" Neji asked with a bored tone, as the two friends sat on a roof. It was late in the afternoon, and both of them were tired after intensive training.

"It seems Gai hasn't gone easy on you," Naruto whispered, pointing at the bruises. "Or was it Tenten?"

"Tenten and Hinata have taking lessons with Tsunade-hime." The admission surprised the blonde. "It appears the Senju Princess has grown fond of these two and has been giving them private tutoring. Gai-sensei accepted, both because he was happy to see Tsunade-hime take an interest in one of his students, and because it would allow him to focus more on Lee and myself."

It was hard not to notice the hint of jealousy in Neji's voice. He resented seeing Hinata, a failure by fate's decree, getting the chance of being mentored by a famed kunoichi. Naruto coughed. "I see. I actually didn't expect this when I introduced them to Granny Senju." He chuckled at Neji's outraged face. "What? It's a funny nickname."

"Sometimes, I wonder if fate did not balance your crippling handicap with astonishing luck." The Hyuuga crossed his arms. "Will you be there for the Third Exam?"

"To see you make Chuunin, you mean. I have already been promoted myself."

"Congratulations, although I saw it coming. It seems fate has a good future planned for you after all. I was mistaken."

"Ah, so my success has finally convinced you fate does not exist?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"No, simply that I misunderstood its plans for you." Neji narrowed his eyes. "What is the matter."

"It's about Hinata," Naruto began.

"I will not go gentle on her," Neji snapped, sounding bitter. "Can't you understand what the Main House did to the Branch? This is my only chance at getting back at them."

"Hinata didn't do a thing to you. She's your cousin."

"Her father sacrificed his own brother to live. In the Hyuuga clan, family means _nothing_." Neji narrowed his eyes. "Get straight to the point. What do you want?"

Naruto inhaled sharply. "Hinata intends to abolish the Caged Bird Seal once she become heiress. I am afraid a humiliating loss would destroy her chance, and turn counter-productive in the long run. I do not ask you to lose on purpose, simply to make it seem like an intense struggle and not go 'maim and kill' mode on her."

"The Hyuuga will never change. Fate decided they would be this way since immemorial times. Everybody who attempted to ease the situation of the Branch failed miserably. Hinata will learn no matter how much she struggles, she will never win against destiny."

Naruto snorted. "Neji, how can you believe free will is a lie?"

"How can I _not _believe in destiny when its physical manifestation was tattooed on my forehead when I was young?" Neji sneered. "You are the foolish one in believing you have any choice in what you are and will be. Let me prove you destiny exists. You wanted a full-blown fight against me, right? Then let's do it! I will prove you no matter how hard he tries, I was born to be a skilled slave, and you a crippled ninja."

"No."

The Hyuuga was genuinely surprised by the answer. Considering his friend's competitive nature, this was extremely out of character. "Why?"

"Because I have a more reliable way of proving you destiny is bullshit. One that does not involve me getting my ass kicked." Naruto crossed his arms. "Yesterday, I made a bet with Jiraiya of the Sannin I would have the audacity and skill to put my face on the Hokage Monument and then show it to the Sandaime."

"I've seen. It's a good thing the ANBU managed to remove it before the arrival of the diplomatic delegations, or else it would have caused unfortunate questions." Neji inhaled sharply. "What did you bet?"

"A favor. My original plan was to have him help me develop a few projects, yet Hinata gave me another idea." Naruto smirked. "I asked him to officially take you as an apprentice, and he agreed."

Neji actually gasped at the revelation. _"What?"_

"Why not? You are, for all intent and purposes, at the bottom of the social hierarchy, and the old man is fond of orphans and lost puppies." That, and considering the perverted way Neji used the Byakugan, Naruto was certain the two would get along perfectly. "Hiashi and the elders will be honored to have a Sannin take an apprentice among them, even if he comes from the Branch."

"I am grateful. I truly am, yet I fail to see what it is supposed to prove." Neji inhaled, oozing with pessimism. "I would stay a slave to the Hyuuga. It means nothing."

"No. It means nobody will complain when Jiraiya removes your Caged Bird Seal."

* * *

The training ground was silent and cold. The moon was high in the sky, and Naruto waited for Yugao to show up, conversing with Apophis in the meantime. "So you're Smaug's nephew?"

"Uncle spoke of you." The snake gazed into his partner's eyes. The King Cobra breed of serpents was rumored to have an exceptional memory, never forgetting the face of an aggressor. Naruto guessed they were alike in this regard. "He told me he looked forward to working with you again."

Naruto chuckled lightly, before crossing his arms. "May I ask you a question?"

"You can, but I may not answer."

"What is this 'dragon's lair' your uncle spoke of?" The question caused the reptile to turn briefly white. "Somewhere nasty?"

The serpent nodded. "Are you aware of the legend snakes can ascend into dragons? This is _not _a legend." Naruto blanched. "The dragon is the oldest serpent alive. Perhaps even the original one. It made his lair and nest in the deepest level of the Ryuchi Cave, and almost never comes out. It is the divine king of all reptiles. The White Snake Sage, as the second oldest snake, serves as its speaker and rules in its absence. It rarely bothers to interfere with the world, and its last flight happened two centuries ago."

"But what is it doing?" Naruto asked.

"No one is certain. Some say it is keeping an immense treasure, others pretend it is gathering strength and will one day lead the serpent to eternal victory. A few whisper the dragon is sealed, for its renewed flight would cause the world to end." Apophis snorted. "Uncle says sometimes the dragon allows worthy humans to meet him, giving them legendary weapons it has forged with its breath or priceless knowledge. Those who enter without an invitation never return."

"Nice." Naruto raised his head, picking up a sound. "You're late," he told Yugao, glancing in the noise's direction.

Except it wasn't Yugao. "I apologize, if you were expecting someone else," Mei Terumi replied softly in a friendly manner. She approached serenely, in appearance unaware of the ANBU watching hidden in the dark. _My ass, of course she knows they're there, _Naruto thought. _What does she wants?_

"Is it a real snake?" she asked, petting the head Naruto's new animal familiar.

"I am a King Cobra," Apophis replied, slightly happy to be the center of attention.

"He is, Mizukage-sama, although it depends whether you consider summons real snakes or giant mutants." Naruto shrugged at the glare Apophis sent him. "Hey? That's true."

Mei chuckled lightly, causing Naruto to cross his arms. "I am not certain Mizukage-sama has better things to do than speaking to a poor chuunin like me, especially in the middle of the night." The not-so-subtle message was: _why are you here?_

"The Mizukage can go where she wants, as I told Sarutobi-dono. I am certain this is the same for a Jinchuuriki." Aka: _I wanted to meet you._

"I am not as free as others, but then again, being a ninja, is to have responsibilities and individuals to which you answer."

"Perhaps I was looking for an handsome man to meet under the moon," she whispered with a sly smile, which would have disarmed anyone else.

But Naruto wasn't anyone. _If she wants to play this game… _"I doubt such a beautiful woman as you would have troubles getting what she wants," he replied playfully, smiling mischievously.

"Thank you." Mei crossed her arms. "Tell me, have you ever traveled to the Land of Water?"

"No, but I heard it was a beautiful place." Except for the whole bloody civil wars deal, of course.

"It is. I wonder if Sarutobi-dono will allow you to visit it. I am certain you would appreciate the Hidden Mist." Mei grinned. "Its citizens are friendly, and we try to put the past behind us. We like to welcome new Shinobi." Aka _you will have an easier time with them than your own countrymen, and your status won't bother anyone._

Before he could reply anything, Mei Terumi faked remembering something important. "Oh, perhaps I should go back to my bodyguards before they start getting the wrong idea. Maybe could you visit me? I would be happy to speak with a ninja as polite as you again, Naruto Uzumaki."

"I would gladly oblige, Mizukage-sama, if the Hokage wills it." This way, he would have an excuse to refuse, should he prefer keep his distance.

"Then let's hope he shall assent for us to meet," she whispered, vanishing with a shunshin.

The conversation had been short, but the hidden message couldn't have been clearer.

_If you ever get sick of Konoha, Kiri will welcome you with open arms._

It made sense. Kiri had lost much of its power after the civil war and the loss of both the Sanbi and Rokubi. Of course Mei would be looking to recruit a new Jinchuuriki. Especially considering it didn't take her long to notice Naruto wasn't appreciated, she would reasonably think he would ponder her offer. And who cared if the ANBU had listened? Superficially, the Hokage couldn't find anything wrong with a fellow diplomat being friendly with their Jinchuuriki.

_I wonder what would happen if I accepted? There would surely be… consequences…_

Naruto snorted, banished these thoughts from his mind, and waited for Yugao to show up.

* * *

**A/N: **for the reviews I received, I would like to point out Naruto is still a teenager. It took Batman years of training and gadgets to reach his current level of skill. Naruto started training younger, but he doesn't have the experience of fighting super-villains for years. At least yet.

I would like to say Atlas will _not _be a harem, with the teasing being for the most part, well, _humor_. Naruto will settle with one girl in the end.

Apophis is the name of a giant snake of Egyptian Mythology, which repeatedly attempts to eat the sun and often cause eclipses. For the Dragon under the snakes' cave, before it is asked, no, Naruto won't ever summon a dragon. I was simply expanding on the snakes' background. The legend about snakes turning into dragons must come from _somewhere_.

When you think about it, the 'One Thousand Years of Death' technique could be considered sexual harassment. Imagine if you were on the receiving end of it.

Next chapter will be the beginning of the invasion. Be prepared for a lot of fireworks, twists, character development, and awesome moments.

Would kindly leave a review? The more feedback, the better it helps me improve.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

**Disclaimer:** reading Atlas will make you laugh, honest. Most of the time, anyway.

* * *

**_Chapter 11:_**

_**Invasion**_

The next couple of weeks followed a simple routine. Said routine involved training, training, kicking Hanabi's butt whenever she attempted to take revenge -which was on average once per day- for her previous humiliation, and preparing tear gas. And improving his flamethrower.

Then the day before the invasion arrived.

"According to my information, Suna's army will attack from the south," Danzo Shimura explained, examining the map of the Hidden Leaf with the rest of the people present. "Orochimaru will have summons destroy the outer wall, allowing the invasion force to advance unhindered. Meanwhile, agents of their will infiltrate the stadium and cast a Genjutsu on the audience, paralyzing them as Gaara transforms into the Shukaku."

Naruto, listening to the discussions in silence, briefly wondered why the Mizukage wasn't present, and quickly understood Konoha's higher-ups did not want her to learn of their plans. It made sense, considering she could easily betray them for Suna should she find an advantage.

"Tsunade-hime and I have already placed the traps," Jiraiya explained, his female teammate nodding. "This should take care of the summons."

"Jiraiya and Tsunade will serve as my bodyguards," Sarutobi explained. "Orochimaru and the Kazekage will probably attack me directly."

"The Hyuuga Clan as a whole will be present to witness the duel between Hinata and Neji," Hiashi continued, "We'll deal with the ninjas infiltrated in the stadium, alongside the Jounin teachers of the participating teams and the ANBU."

"The rest of us will deal with the attacking force, until Danzo-sama's reinforcements flank it," Shikaku Nara proclaimed, the rest of the Clan Heads nodding.

"Which leaves only one variable: the Shukaku." Sarutobi glanced at Naruto. "Do you think you can beat Gaara before he unleashes it? Or command the Kyuubi to restrain it?"

Naruto coughed. "Hokage-sama, it isn't Gaara that worries me the most. It's Sasori. If Orochimaru is present, his partner won't be far, and he will try to exploit the confusion to capture me. Perhaps interfere with our plans. An S-Class ninja of his caliber can alter the result of the entire operation. We can, however, trap him."

"You suggest we use you as a bait?" Hiashi asked.

"Yes. If I'm with Fuu-san, he won't resist the temptation." Naruto crossed his arms. "If you have the ANBU watching us…"

"But then, who shall take out Gaara?" Danzo replied, skeptical.

Naruto smiled. "There is a fourth Jinchuuriki in town, remember? He's pretty weird, but if I ask him to be serious just this once, Gaara will be toast."

After another hour of planning and discussions, the war meeting disbanded. Naruto found himself alone with Sarutobi. "I have something for you," he said, handing him over to him a familiar potion.

"The Samsara?" Naruto frowned upon recognizing it. "Why?"

"My labs finished examining the product, and it is impossible to mass-produce. The cells inside have been identified." Sarutobi inhaled sharply. "They belong to an Uzumaki."

"Sasori?" Naruto blurted out, before quickly realizing it was impossible, the man having forsaken his very body. "Akatsuki's leader?"

"Possible. Our attempts at reproducing the cell's special abilities failed due to an exceptionally potent, abnormal chakra. We suspect the cells are linked to their source, allowing the donor to influence them from distance. Use of the serum would allow him to control the victim to a degree. Periodic injections are needed, or else your organs start rejecting the foreign cells, with fatal consequences. Since an overdose would also be lethal, this serum is more trouble than it is worth. It's a glorified leash."

Naruto frowned. "Why give it back to me then? I don't want to use it."

"I pray you won't have to either. However, sometimes sacrifices have to be made. You have seen my teammate Danzo: he lost an eye and a hand for the Leaf. One day, you may have no choice but to use the Samsara to save the day."

"I won't need that. As long as I have a plan, everything will be fine." Naruto locked eyes with his mentor. "Old man?"

"Yes?"

"Don't die. You still have to take care of Perry."

"My grandson is taking care of it, and will adopt it should anything happen to us during the invasion," Sarutobi replied, before allowing himself a small bad joke, "Naruto, don't get captured, it would give me too much paperwork."

"You lazy bastard," the blonde snorted. "Bah, you'll bail me out, right?"

"Of course. But don't make a habit of it."

* * *

The morning of the third stage of the Exams, Naruto, walking down the street, picked up a small stone that was laying on the ground, rotated, and threw it at his stalker. "Ouch!" Hanabi complained. That hurts."

"If you are so obvious to detect in the field, it's a kunai to the head you'll get next time," Naruto scolded her, before sighing. "If I had known you would be so persistent, I would have approached Hinata on another day."

"It's your fault! You assaulted me!"

"Oh, come on, I simply put my fingers in your butt, nothing to-" He suddenly stopped, upon realizing passerby were staring at him with a shocked expression. _Right, now they think I'm a pervert. Wonderful._ "Look, if you keep pestering me I'll have to spank you so hard your ass will be red for an entire year!"

"Here you continue with the sexual harassment!" Hanabi ground her teeth in rage. "You humiliated me! Defiled me! I must regain my honor!"

Naruto glanced down at the bratty girl. "You know," he started, "I've got a friend who's a genuine pervert. He showed me a special technique he uses to defeat enemy Kunoichi. It's called _'Jiraiya's Heavenly Violation of Personal Space Technique'_. It's as bad as it sounds. If you want to see a true master of sexual harassment, he's your man." He rolled his eyes. "As much as throwing stones at you is fun, you're giving me a bad reputation. Could you please stop bothering me?"

"Not until I defeat you!"

"Then come back in twenty years, maybe I'll take you seriously then." It further enraged her, much to his amusement. "In the meantime, why don't you go see your sister and cousin duel? When you reach their level, then I'll accept your challenge fair and square."

"Deal," Hanabi replied, pointing an index at him, "You're my rival now! When I've trained enough, I'm the one going to stick my fingers in your private areas!"

As she left him, Naruto briefly wondered why exactly he was attracting every psycho in the area. _If Lee wasn't a crazy enough rival, now I've got that girl,_ the blonde whined inwardly. "Naruto-san, Tsunade Senju is approaching you," Apophis hissed to his ear, hiding under his clothes. The snake's scales were cold, and the contact had been slightly disturbing at first, until Naruto got used to it. The advantage was that the serpent was a powerful partner, and with his superior smell and ability to notice small pulsations in the ground, he could detect any sneak up attempt on the Uzumaki.

"Tsunade-hime," Naruto whispered, when the woman landed in front of him, "What can I do for you?"

"How did you notice me coming before I appeared?" she asked suddenly, having recognized the subtle signs in his body language. "No matter. Tenten and Hinata have told me a lot about you."

Naruto briefly narrowed his eyes. "See? I'm a decent guy."

"I wouldn't be so certain. I've been informed of the Hanabi incident." The blonde winced. "I blame Jiraiya's influence. Anyway, I wanted to learn more about my debtor, and I put the two and two together later." The Senju crossed her arms. "You're Kushina's brat, right?"

"She was my mom, yes, although I never met her, and don't know my dad either," Naruto replied, slightly surprised. "You were friends?"

"Yes. I figured, well, when the fighting is over... you might want to talk about her. About your family."

Naruto was at loss of words. "Isn't Konoha trying to keep me in the dark?"

"I want nothing to do with this political bullshit." The Senju sighed. "When this day is over... things will change, believe me."

* * *

"Good luck, boys and girls," Naruto told his fellow Konoha-nins, as they prepared to leave for the participants' lounge. The first match, Neji versus Hinata, would start within two hours. "And remember, don't forget to fight as dirty as you can."

"Nice advice." Tenten grinned at Shikamaru. "I will take it to heart."

"Troublesome woman," the Nara commented. "I think I'm going to give up before she beats me to a bloody pulp."

"Yosh, watch out, Naruto-san," Lee gave him the nice guy pose. "We're all going to make Chuunin in no time!"

"Will you be cheering on me, I mean, us?" Tenten asked with a sly smile.

"Of course," Naruto smirked, although inwardly he had the feeling it wouldn't be possible. "When this day is over, I promise I'm inviting you all out for a drink. Believe it."

The group accepted his offer politely, and left. Neji, however, stayed longer. "Nice Tanto," he noted, upon noticing the blade Naruto was carrying on his back.

"You think?" He unsheathed the blade. "It was a gift from a friend. She said since I had progressed in our lessons, I had earned my own blade. It's shorter than a katana but easier to use."

"Interesting." Neji scratched his headband, the seal underneath having been secretly removed. "Words will never be enough to thank you. I owe you a life-debt I'll never be able to repay."

"You're welcome," Naruto grinned. "Start by dragging out the fight with Hinata as much as possible. Make it look like an intense struggle."

"I informed Hinata beforehand. She will be cooperative." Neji locked eyes with his friend. "You are about to do something very stupid."

It wasn't a question, but a fact. "I'm gonna do something crazy, yes."

The Hyuuga frowned, weary. "Naruto, if you need help-"

"No. Focus on earning your jacket. I've dragged enough people into this mess to do the same with you." He smiled. "Everything will be fine."

Neji wasn't convinced.

When the Hyuuga finally left, Jiraiya emerged from his hiding spot. Of course, Apophis had informed the blonde long before he manifested... "Good luck, kiddo," he told the blonde. "When Orochimaru is toast, I will rush to your aid. Try to survive in the meantime."

"I will manage." He touched his left forearm. "How long will its effect last?"

"Around nine minutes after activation. Afterward, it will take a full day for it to recharge. Remember this is a prototype, not the final product, so there may be... glitches." The Sannin told him goodbye, before vanishing. "Go."

Once he was gone, Naruto opened his bag and put on his equipment. Trading his jacket for a black suit full of pockets, reinforced plates of ceramic, and black metal gloves, the blonde then proceeded to check out his hidden weaponry. Once he had finished, he left the stadium.

Sasuke and Fuu were waiting outside. "You seem ready," the first deadpanned, having traded Han's ridiculous shirt for common black clothing. The Kyuubi's container was fairly certain he was hiding weapons underneath the ensemble.

"I've got enough weapons on my person to deal with a small army." Flash bangs, flamethrower in the bag, tear gas, kunai, experimental grenades… Naruto was armed to the teeth. "I doubt we'll wait long when the invasion starts. Wanna go to Ichiraku's?" He wanted to convince Ayame and Teuchi to barricade themselves at home, preserving their life.

A few minutes later, the trio sat at the ramen bar, much to Ayame's excitement. "How nice of you to have come! Are you going to watch the matches too?" She suddenly noticed the Uzumaki's attire. "Naruto, why are you wearing that?"

"Because I am the Law," Naruto deadpanned with the deepest tone possible. "And the Law is cool."

"We're going to the stadium after the meal," Fuu added. "Where is Teuchi-san?"

"He's discussing with a friend behind the restaurant," she explained, "They don't want to be bothered. So, how do you see the matches playing out?"

"I do not gamble," Sasuke replied.

"I do, but unfortunately many of my friends are participating and it would be bad taste," Naruto continued.

"Gaara is going to win," Fuu shrugged. Or rather, the _Ichibi _would crush the competition, if Gaara was pushed too far. Not that it mattered, as the tournament would be interrupted.

"Hey, Naruto?" The blonde locked eyes with Ayame. "Would you mind if we were to sit next to each other?"

"Euh…" Naruto struggled to find a way to explain her she would better barricade herself inside her home with her dad. The strange glance she was sending him didn't help either.

"There is a strange heartbeat nearby," Apophis whispered lowly, only Naruto hearing him. "This is... I have no word..."

"Sorry, he's going to sit with me," Fuu smirked, giving a light tap to Naruto's back. "Correct?"

"Really?" Ayame glared at Fuu confusing the blonde. "I wouldn't be as certain if I were you."

Naruto scratched the back of his neck in genuine confusion, and glanced Sasuke, hoping he would explain. Instead, the Uchiha was giving him a 'know-it-all' smile. _Why do I have the feeling he's inwardly laughing at me? _"I thought you would prefer to sit with Shino," the blonde told Fuu. "From what I could say, you got along well."

"He's a nice friend, but you and Han are my _best _friends," the female Jinchuuriki chirped.

"Hey, Naruto!" Teuchi's voice interrupted the conversation. "Nice to see you. Here, I've someone for you to meet. He's an old friend of mine."

Naruto and his two companions absentmindedly glanced at the newcomer, and paled in dread.

"He's a bit shy," Teuchi explained, unaware of what was happening, "But he cooks well. I'm sure he's going to prepare you nice ramen today."

"Hello," Sasori of the Red Sand greeted the terrified trio with the flattest, most deadpan tone possible. "Would you like salt ramen? It is the only kind I have learned to prepare."

* * *

"So, Tsunade?" Jiraiya smirked, as the two teammates met before reaching the Hokage. "He isn't that bad, is-"

The Senju slapped him. She didn't use her surperhuman strength to do it, considering they would have to fight soon, but the slap was still powerful enough to hurt. "How dare you?" the kunoichi hissed.

"W-what?"

"He's Kushina's son, you moron," Tsunade snarled. "A Uzumaki. My grandmother Mito was one. Senju and Uzumaki are cousins, he's a relative of mine. And you let him live alone? You didn't inform me he existed? He was Minato's son and you-"

"I know." Jiraiya locked eyes with her. "I've got no excuse, as much as it shames me. I'm not exactly the best parental figure."

"Better a flawed parental figure than none at all," Tsunade countered. "Now I realize why you're so interested in him. You want to 'catch up on lost time'. You're doing wonders at it."

"Your sarcasm will change nothing. Sensei wanted to give him a normal life, and we realized only too late it wouldn't work."

"Why didn't you send him to me then?" Tsunade clenched her fists. "You-"

"You left the Leaf at a critical time in a fit of selfishness. You have no right to criticize my failures when you are just as irresponsible as I am."

The Senju princess felt as if she had been slapped. "Don't you dare-"

"Yes, Nawaki and Dan were great people and I would have willingly died in their places so you could have had a happy life with them. They died to protect the Leaf, and I have seen you spit on their sacrifice by abandoning the Village without saying a word. But no more." Jiraiya's tone was cold and flat. "You were the best medic in the Elemental Nations. Do you know the number of people who die in our hospital each year because the one Kunoichi who could have saved them spent her time drinking and gambling? Yes, you have suffered, but everyone in this damn city has lost a loved one. You acted as if you were the center of the world and whined as if only your problems mattered."

Tsunade was astonished by the response, and couldn't find the words to reply. Jiraiya continued his verbal assault. "As if sensei would give our only Jinchuuriki to a woman who would have been labeled a missing-nin in any other country and has as many psychological issues as Kakashi. If you had felt an ounce of responsibility, you would have returned to help the wounded of the Kyuubi's rampage. The fact I had to blackmail you to help defend the thousands living in this town did nothing to change my opinion of you."

The Senju narrowed her eyes. "You don't love me anymore, is that it?"

"I never stopped. But it doesn't mean I'm blind to your flaws." Jiraiya inhaled sharply and turned into an ANBU with a henge. "I want to turn a new leaf, so to speak. To restart from scratch, to atone for my mistakes. One is called Orochimaru and is waiting for correction right now."

"Yes," Tsunade replied bitterly, disguising herself as well, "We'll work out our differences once he's gone."

* * *

As he observed the match, Gaara became progressively convinced his father's plan had been discovered.

It wasn't a suspicion. The match between the Hyuuga was staged. Their movements seemed fluid and professional, but Gaara wasn't a normal ninja. He could feel killing intent, he could sense if one wanted to harm another. It was a sixth sense he developed after surviving countless assassination attempts. These two were doing their best to drag their fight as long as possible. At this rate, the invasion force would reach the walls before the Ichibi's vessel had the chance to transform.

Having stalked Naruto Uzumaki and Fuu for days, Gaara had seen the two Hyuuga with the blonde Jinchuuriki. It didn't take him long to guess it was a trap. _Naruto Uzumaki is aware of Father's plans, _he deduced. _He wants to take me out before I can release the Shukaku. If so… I accept the challenge._

Joining his fingers, Gaara vanished in a cloud of sand. He reappeared in the middle of the arena, much to everyone's astonishment. The two Hyuuga stopped fighting, and the proctor approached, with a hint of fear in the voice. "Sabaku, back down or you'll be disqual-"

With a thought, Gaara ordered his sand to crush the man's head into a bloody pulp. The crowd shrieked in horror at the spectacle. The crazy Jinchuuriki cracked his neck. "Uzumaki, show yourself! I am waiting!"

A red ninja kicked his face so hard Gaara crashed into the opposite end of the arena. If his sand armor hadn't shielded him, he would have been killed instantly. Rising back to his feet, the redhead observed his attacker.

"Back off, his life belongs to the Han," the ninja told the Hyuuga, who vanished with a Shunshin. The newcomer was a giant in red armor, his body releasing a shroud of steam around his limbs. "Now, it's just you, and the most marvelous Shinobi in the world."

"Where is Uzumaki?" Gaara shrieked, his sand swirling around him. Mother was craving for blood, and she would not be denied. "Where is he?"

"Sorry, Foxy was occupied… so he sent the most awesome warrior ever as replacement!" The giant charged. "Prepare to become the Han's punching-bag!"

* * *

The second Gaara entered the arena, the Yondaime Kazekage attempted to kill Sarutobi with a kunai.

The old man dodged it, his two ANBU bodyguards and the Mizukage instantly reacting. The treacherous leader of Suna jumped on the roof, followed by the four ninjas. The Kazekage's bodyguards activated a barrier ninjutsu, trapping the four S-Rank ninjas inside a square-like formation. Walls of purple energy manifested out of thin air, preventing the ninjas outside it from interrupting the battle.

"Sarutobi-sensei…" Orochimaru hissed wickedly, upon removing his Kazekage's mask. His expression was twisted into a vicious sneer. "Always so tricky. I see you prepared an old family reunion. How long has it been, Jiraiya, Tsunade?"

The Hokage adopted a serious expression, his two students dropping their ANBU disguise. "It has been a while," Jiraiya noted with venom in his voice. "Still the falsely polite prick, eh? You disposed of the Kazekage?"

"A puppet having served its purpose is trash," Orochimaru sneered, "Trash deserves only fire."

"I hoped not to meet you again for the rest of my life, but I guess when this day is over I won't have to see your face any longer," Tsunade whispered.

"Ah, yes, I missed your rudeness, princess." Orochimaru glanced at Mei Terumi. "Sorry to have dragged you into this, Mizukage-san. Since we have no quarrel, I would suggest your to stay out of this."

"Akatsuki ravaged my home for a decade, so _I _have a quarrel with you." The lady glanced at Sarutobi. "I would like to keep him alive, if possible. I need to interrogate him."

"I can't promise anything." Sarutobi prepared a fire technique. "Jiraiya?"

"Yep!" Instantly, Jiraiya projected a stream of oil toward Orochimaru, the Hokage combining it with a fireball. Orochimaru was engulfed into a deadly inferno, yet made no effort to dodge.

When the dust and smoke settled, Orochimaru's opponents discovered two coffins of earth had shielded the rogue Sannin from the blast. They opened, revealing their occupants: two warrior clad in traditional Senju armors. Two former Hokage. Tsunade blanched. "G-grandfather? Granduncle?"

"Edo Tensei," Orochimaru smirked, the Shodai and Nidaime protecting him. "It's only fair play: you're four against one. I have to even the field a little."

"I was aware you had lost whatever morals you'd left, Orochimaru, but I would have never imagined you could sink so low," Jiraiya whispered.

"He must be stopped here," Sarutobi told the rest of his group. "If he is allowed to flee with this technique, he would be unstoppable."

"Do you agree, Tsunade-hime?" Orochimaru smirked viciously. "If I can bring your relative back from the dead, I could easily do the same for Dan and Nawaki. Interested?"

Tsunade spat on the ground. "And sacrifice someone for it? Nawaki and Dan would never forgive me if I were to sink to your level."

"Too bad then. Hashirama, Tobirama, please kill her."

The mindless automatons charged silently, their movements betraying not a hint of hesitation.

"Jiraiya, Tsunade, take these two down," Sarutobi ordered, preparing a new jutsu without wasting any breath, "Mizukage-dono, would you mind teaming up against my old student?"

"I would have preferred someone younger." Mei sighed, readying herself. "I guess beggars can't be choosers."

* * *

As he walked inside Root's hideout, Danzo Shimura smelled the scent of fresh blood.

The walls were covered with it. As he progressed deeper into the complex, finding no corpse, Danzo continued walking, until he reached a large, black hall. A man was present, surrounded by his victims.

"You're late," Madara whispered, as he finished absorbing dead bodies into his Sharingan. "I've been waiting for you far too long. Have you grown slow in your old age?"

Danzo tightened the grip on his cane. "So you finally made your move."

"There won't be reinforcements today. Your comrades will have to survive on their own." The masked man shrugged, glancing at the Root leader. "For an elite group of underground assassins, your agents were surprisingly easy to deal with. Then again, the true power of the Sharingan is mine to command."

The two thousand troops supposed to help the main force had been crushed by a single man? Impossible. "You brought back-up with you," Danzo guessed. "Itachi-"

"Has another target," the masked man snorted. "As for you, where did you put the Forbidden Scroll you dog? I want an answer before I kill you."

"In a place you'll never find." Danzo approached. "If we are to fight, can you tell me what game are you playing? Why help me at all? Why are you seeking Edo Tensei?"

"I need Edo Tensei because there are a few dead people to which I need to apologize." Madara shrugged his shoulders. "As for why I helped you… have you any idea just how powerful Pain is?"

Danzo clenched his jaw. He had seen for himself what the Rinnegan's wielder could do when threatened. "Yet," Madara continued, "He does nothing. He meditates, studies a civilization long dead, when he could have crushed the Leaf and captured the Tailed Beasts as we speak. I knew of your common history, and I figured if I stressed the threat you presented, I might kick him out of his comfort zone and subtly push him into action."

Root's leader let go of his cane. "So I was nothing more than a way to motivate Pain… and I failed."

"You have outlived your usefulness, and I hate useless pawns," Madara intoned in a threatening manner, warping space itself. "Time for you to sleep, _forever_."

"I will not be so easy to kill," Danzo replied, releasing the seals on his hidden arm. The Uchiha took a step back, as the Konoha-nin revealed the Sharingan implanted on it, before getting rid of the bandages around his head. "My roots run deep."

"This eye… do you have any idea of its power?" Madara chuckled. "But you can't use it, can you? No matter how hard you try, you cannot master the power of Shisui's Sharingan."

"I don't need to." The old man started making hand seals. "For the sake of Konoha… I will put an end to your life here and now!"

* * *

When Gaara started attacking the proctor, Tenten's first reaction was to move and help Hinata. Shikamaru prevented her from doing so, pointing an index at Han. "He's taking care of him," the Nara said, before glancing at the stairs. "We have a more pressing problem."

Tenten blinked. The stands had quickly turned into a battleground opposing Konoha's ninjas and Suna-nins against each other. "Ah, finally," one of the genin from Kiri grinned wickedly, "The bloodshed can start!"

"What's happening?" Lee asked him wearingly.

"You haven't been informed?" Suigetsu Hozuki chuckled. "Your town is under attack. Don't worry, we're with you." He glanced at his teammate. "Hey, Chojuro, time to slice stuff in two!"

"Y-yes!" the boy meekly nodded, as the two Kiri-nin vanished via shunshin.

Grabbing both Lee and Shikamaru, Tenten quickly joined her jounin sensei in the stands. Maito Gai was occupied pummeling a Suna-nin to death when he noticed the trio. "Tenten, Lee, with me," he ordered, his voice turning authoritarian. "Shikamaru-kun, you will join Asuma-san and the rest of your team. Evacuate the civilians first, then join the fray."

"Understood," the Nara whispered, immediately leaving.

Neji and Hinata reached Team Gai. "What is happening?" the two asked in perfect unison, an event that caused Tenten to briefly chuckle.

"We are being invaded. Someone was supposed to cast a Genjutsu on the audience, but I suppose Gaara's actions caught him off-guard. We will defeat any Suna-nin we run across, understood?"

"Funny, I intended to do the same with Konoha-nins," a civilian shot back, getting rid of his clothes to reveal a grey uniform, and a headband with a sound note symbol. He was carrying a syringe, injecting the product into his veins. "For Orochimaru-sama!"

Much to Tenten's horror, the man started to grow horns.

* * *

"I present you Sasori-san," Ayame began. "He's quite shy, but-"

"Ayame, Teuchi." Both civilians glanced at Naruto, surprised by his cold, serious tone. "Go back home. Barricade yourself. Don't open the door until the explosions are over. Leave. _Now_."

"What-" Teuchi put his hand on Ayame's shoulder, interrupting her. The young woman noticed the glares the four Shinobi exchanged. Understanding a fight was about to break out, she left, after sending one last glance at her friend.

"Do not worry, I simply want to talk," Sasori whispered with absolute nonchalance. Naruto had to admit, if he wasn't aware of the man's identity, he would have mistaken him for a random traveler. But his brown robes weren't made for travel, only to hide the inhuman body underneath. "We have one hour left before the operation _'Konoha Crash' _starts and destroys this cursed city. If you don't like the unoriginal name, blame Orochimaru. I would have preferred operation '_kill everyone with a Leaf-headband'_, but you know my partner…"

Naruto tightened his fists, putting two and two together. "You were observing me through Teuchi all along?"

"Yes. Although neither his daughter nor Teuchi himself are aware of his purpose." Sasori shrugged, continuing to prepare the salt ramen as if they were having a good time. "Through special seals implanted in the brain, I can implant hypnotic suggestions into the mind of an individual. To put it simply, I can make my thralls do anything, without them being aware of it. The best strings are the invisible ones."

He placed the bowls before the group, who of course refused to it. "A quarter of the restaurant managers, barmen, and prostitutes in this city work for me, directly or through proxies. Most ninjas, when having a good time, drop information they would never reveal elsewhere. When Teuchi created his ramen bar, it was at _my _command. He quickly attracted a clientele among Shinobi, then transferred any useful piece of information back to me, all without being aware of his role as deep cover spy. When you started frequenting this establishment, I couldn't believe in my luck."

Naruto suddenly felt like the biggest moron in the Elemental Nations. "I brought nearly all my friends there at least once," he realized in horror. _This is how he knew who to target!_

"Yes. Your cooperation was most appreciated." The redhead smiled mockingly. "A ramen bar has another use. It can be used to smuggle goods inside the city. Like, incendiary bombs or the Samsara serum, to fuel a war inside the walls."

Fuu's eyes widened. "You… you smuggled weapons inside the city's walls?"

"I have been planning the destruction of the Hidden Leaf ever since it survived the Third Shinobi War. This invasion is simply the culmination of a decade of efforts. Granted, Orochimaru helped me a lot."

Sasori started washing the dishes. "I spent years destroying the Counter-Intelligence department from within. After a time, I could work relatively unhindered. I told you I had agents in many businesses. They identified people with grudges against the Leaf, and contacted them. You would be surprised how many civilians and minor Shinobi resent the current status quo. Why should they pay exorbitant taxes to a useless Daimyo, simply because his great-ancestor happened to be a warrior? Why should they let the clans monopolize the important posts? Why should they live in fear of superpowered killers who could go crazy any time due to improper psychological care?"

Naruto had asked himself these questions more than once, and it troubled him. "Many people do not act on these thoughts because they fear reprisals. Because they do not have the power of trained Shinobi." He shuddered. "But if they were to receive this power-"

"You grasp the situation quickly. By promising everyone the Samsara's power, physical enhancements, and great societal changes, it was child's play to turn these disgruntled individuals into closet rebels. In fact, most of Orochimaru's subordinates are former farmers and orphans he made such promises to."

Since it was too late to warn anyone, Naruto started focusing on his surroundings. He quickly located Yugao and Kakashi, wearing their ANBU masks and uniforms, watching the scene from atop a roof. Cat nodded at the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki, silently telling him they were ready to attack anytime.

Sasori spotted the duo as well, and waved at them cheerfully. "They won't save you," he warned the trio with absolute serenity, as the two ANBU winced.

"We'll save ourselves," Sasuke replied, glaring at the puppeteer venomously. "You owe me two deaths."

"I had nothing against your teammates, they were simply in the way." Sasori exhaled sharply. "Why do you care? They were mere grunts without any special ability or blood bond to you."

The Uchiha clenched his fists. "Five years ago, I promised myself I wouldn't see any person close to me die, ever again. No one hurts my comrades and get away with it."

"You shouldn't make promises you cannot keep." Sasori shrugged. "No matter."

"Sasori." Naruto interlaced his fingers. "Why are you there? Obviously, you thought we would stop at Ichiraku's. While it may have been easy for you to enter the town undetected, with all the foreign dignitaries present to watch the tournament, it would have been wiser to stay under the radar until the invasion throws the Leaf into chaos. What do you want?"

The redhead gave him a strange glance. "Is it so astonishing," he began, "That I would try to convince a relative to see reason one last time?"

The admission actually stopped Naruto's heartbeat briefly. Could this man truly care? Or was it an attempt at manipulation?

"You can deny it all you want, this is true." Could Sasori read minds? "All I wish is to witness the rebirth of the Uzumaki clan. It would be such a wonderful event. You, me, Leader-sama, we are exceptional. The masses fear you because they can understand what potential sleeps in you, in your belly, in your bones. I do not understand why you crave their affection. They did nothing for you. Akatsuki can turn you into one of the greatest ninja the world has ever seen. Why stay loyal to the Leaf?"

"I am not loyal to the Leaf."

The rest of the ninjas present glanced at him in genuine surprise. "Since we are being honest people, Sasori, let me ask you a question: why did you fight for Suna? And why did you abandon it next?"

"I fought for Suna because my parent were loyal Shinobi, before the Leaf took them away from me," the puppeteer admitted, genuine sadness in his voice. "Afterward, I did not have any bonds left to that place, besides my grandmother. Only my ambitions and revenge remained. Since I couldn't fulfill either goal in the Hidden Sand, I defected."

"Then we are more alike than I thought." Naruto took a deep breath. "I don't fight for the Leaf. I fight for my ambition, and the happiness of my loved ones. I have no love for the Leaf as a whole. Being a Konoha-nin is my job, point. I do not believe in the Will of Fire. I believe in my own will alone. But unlike you, there are people I care for still living in this city. I have bonds binding me to the Leaf."

The blonde cracked his neck. "I do not oppose you because the Leaf does. I want to stop you because Akatsuki threatens the lives of my loved ones and countless innocents... because you led Anko to her death. If I did not have these bonds, I guess I could have followed the same path as you."

Sasori and Naruto were a reflection of the other. They were both orphans and the remaining members of the Uzumaki clan. Both had been mentored by a grandparent figure. Both aimed to become the best in their field.

With a little difference, their positions could have very well been reversed.

"You can create new bonds elsewhere. I wasn't twenty when I met Leader-sama. He would love to see us together. He can allow you to fulfill your ambitions." Sasori snorted. "What if your friends were to become obstacles on your way to greatness? One can't reach the top without cutting a few strings. There shall be a time when former friends turn out to be a burden, and new ones will help you fulfill your dream."

"I won't join you or Akatsuki. I won't work alongside people like Orochimaru. I will forge my own path."

Sasori decided to try convincing the blonde's teammates. "The offer is the same for you. Akatsuki can give you the power you desire, or anything you wish for."

"You can sugarcoat it as much as you wish, redhead, the truth is, if I join you, I will become a weapon for Akatsuki to use. I enjoy my freedom thanks." Fuu bit her lips. "How long will it take before you extract the Nanabi and kill me, once I outlive my usefulness? I refuse."

"The power I will gain, I will earn it. I won't have others _give _it to me. I won't be anyone'stool." Sasuke activated his Sharingan. "I won't sink to _his _level."

Explosions started resonating around them, coming from nearby streets and the town's outskirts. None of the ninjas present made any movement, continuing their discussion. "The summoners loyal to the Leaf placed summoning arrays nearby," Sasori guessed. "Smart, giant summons will help your fellows deal with the invasion force. Unfortunately, they won't help fight the traitors inside the walls, nor will they be able to fight the soldiers Orochimaru brought back with Edo Tensei."

"Edo Tensei?" Fuu asked, genuinely confused. The puppeteer ignored the question.

"Sasori… it's not too late. It's _never _too late." Naruto seized his tanto's pommel. "You can back down and walk away."

"Letting our dead relatives remain unavenged? The Leaf, no, the entire Shinobi World deserves to be purged. It is a corrupt system built on suffering and mediocrity. I will not suffer seeing the destroyers of our family prosper when we have lost our very past to them." Sasori locked eyes with his cousin. "Your father killed your mother. He ripped the Kyuubi from her and sealed it in you. For Konoha."

The statement caused Naruto to startle. "It was the Yondaime who-" He paused.

Sasuke's eyes widened. He glanced at the Yondaime's head on the Hokage Monument, then back at Naruto.

"What?" It was impossible, Sasori couldn't imply… "It makes no sense."

"Really? Have you never wondered why the Sandaime Hokage refused to tell you about your father? Why your mother lost her Tailed Beast?" The puppeteer snorted. "Minato Namikaze, Yondaime Hokage of Konoha, was your biological father. You were born as Gaara was, a weapon of war he could train from birth to be loyal to the Leaf."

"The Yondaime would never…" Naruto ground his teeth. "You're lying."

"Naruto… Jinchuuriki are chosen among the relatives of the Village's leader," Fuu whispered sadly. "This way, their loyalty can be secured… most of the time."

"Namikaze wanted a weapon, so when you were born, he attempted to rip the Kyuubi from Kushina and seal it inside you," Sasori explained coolly, "The perfect Jinchuuriki, tamed from birth, perfect to hold the fox. But the ritual backfired, and the Kyuubi rampaged, killing your mother and forcing the Yondaime to sacrifice himself trying to seal it inside you."

"That's a lie!" Naruto ground his teeth in rage. "This is a complete, utter lie!"

"Do you have another explanation? This is the most logical conclusion I reached, with the information I managed to gather." Sasori rolled his eyes. "Whatever the truth is, the consequences are the same: the Leaf lied to you. Manipulated you. Spat on the Yondaime's grave. For all their talk about putting the Village first, they were surprisingly quick to betray Namikaze's legacy. They treated you like an outcast, when they should have revered you, cared for you. Jiraiya, especially, since he was your godfather."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Jiraiya was Minato Namikaze's teacher, and he was chosen as your godfather before you were born. Then he abandoned you." The ground trembled, a bomb destroying a house nearby. "Kakashi Hatake isn't any better. He was your father's student, and he didn't lift a finger to help you when you were a kid. Tell me, why are the people inside these walls worth protecting? None of them are truly your friends."

Naruto struggled to find an answer. If this was the truth, why struggle indeed?

"I am his friend."

Sasuke's Sharingan locked with Naruto's blue eyes. "His father could be the Yondaime, the Sandaime, or Orochimaru for all I care. He's Naruto Uzumaki, the ninja who never gives up… and _my _friend. The Leaf may hate him, but I surely don't."

"Yep. Naruto doesn't need a godfather," Fuu smirked. "He has _us_."

_Guys… thanks. _"I'm going to beat you," Naruto declared boldly to Sasori, "Then, I will confirm if what you say is true or not. Finally… I will decide what to do with the truth."

Sasori smirked viciously. "I am afraid to crush your hopes. You see… I am tougher than all of you put together."

Instantly, green wings materialized from Fuu's back. She grabbed both her teammates by the collar and escaped, while Sasori calmly watched Kakashi throw a fireball at him from his roof. The Ichiraku's exploded in smoke and debris.

"Are you alright?" Yugao asked the trio, as they landed next to the ANBU duo.

Naruto wasn't fast enough to answer. A blast of air almost caused him to fall to his knees. A cloud of smoke filled the street, as a giant creature materialized on the ramen stand's former spot. It was a red scorpion the size of a building.

"You thought you were the only Uzumaki with a contract?" Sasori said from atop his summon's head, "Shall we begin?"

Naruto snorted. "Bring it."

* * *

**A/N: **finally, the Invasion of Konoha starts. Took me forever to reach it. The next two chapters will cover the main fights (Tobi vs Danzo; Han vs Gaara; Sarutobi and co vs Orochimaru; Naruto and co vs Sasori), and then the aftermath of the attack. The first half of the story will be concluded at the end of the arc.

For Tobi destroying Root, I think I dropped a few hints how he managed it, but you won't discover it until next chap.

The canon events having resulted in the Kyuubi's attack haven't been modified; Sasori simply reached the wrong conclusion it was an attempt at creating another Gaara which backfired. Considering there was no witnesses (beside Tobi) to tell him the truth, it seemed to be the most probable theory in his mind.

And yep, I made Teuchi (one of the most underdeveloped character in the manga) a spy. An unwilling, brainwashed spy. The best moles are the unknowing ones.

Sasori follows the tradition of making Naruto's great enemy of the moment a reflection of our favorite blonde. Much like Gaara, he's more or less how Atlas' Naruto could have turned out if he didn't care about anyone else but himself.

Would you kindly review?


	12. Chapter 12

Hello again! Here is the awaited invasion of Konoha! Hope you'll find it suitably epic.

About reviews of the previous chapter: Tobi didn't kill everyone alone. You'll see for yourself in the chapter below.

Thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

**Kagaseo's Advice: **I would suggest listening to a song like 'Rules of Nature' from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (hell, the entire soundtrack of this game would fit), or 'We are finally cowboys' from No More Heroes while reading the chapter, for extra ambiance.

* * *

_**Chapter 12:**_

_**Hellfire**_

It took Gaara five seconds and a fist breaking his nose to realize he was in serious danger.

The man in front of him was both faster and stronger than the redhead. He was surrounded by steam, moved faster than Baki and could hit with the power of an enraged bull. His arm raised, the red giant charged forward.

Summoning a cloud of sand, Gaara attempted to crush the man's legs from underneath, only for the giant to leap gracefully, crossing the distance between the two ninjas, and kick the Sand-nin's stomach. The sheer might of the strike propelled the redhead to the other side of the arena, crashing against a tree.

Quickly returning to his senses, Gaara summoned a platform of sand under himself, and used it to dodge a new charge by floating above the stadium. _He doesn't appear to have long-range techniques, _the young ninja noted. _If so…_

"Sand Blades," Gaara whispered, shaping hundreds of swords out of refined sand and launching them at his opponent, as a deadly rain of projectiles. Moving faster than the wind, Han skillfully dodged the onslaught, started running up the arena's walls, and used a burst of steam to propel himself through the air.

Two seconds later, his hand went through Gaara's automatic defense, the sand armor, grabbed the redhead's face, and threw him towards the ground below. A cushion of sand automatically reduced the shock and prevented the fall from killing the Ichibi's vessel outright. As he saw the red giant descend upon him like a meteor, Gaara started panicking. "The Han's Blazing Kick of Doom!" the crazy ninja shouted happily.

"Sandstorm!" A tornado of sand surrounded Gaara, shielding him from the Han's view. When the red giant landed, it was on the arena's soil instead of Gaara's face, and he found himself trapped in a thick sandstorm.

Unable to see clearly, the former Iwa-nin protected his eyes and listened. "The Han didn't think you would be such a coward," he taunted Gaara, hoping to draw him out of hiding. "Come and get your ass kicked."

A beastly roar answered his taunt. A creature slightly bigger than him, looking like a one-tailed Tanuki, emerged from the tempest, maw wide open. "I will not let you destroy me!" it declared with Gaara's voice. "I won't let you end my exis-"

"The Han's Godly Slap!" the giant replied, unimpressed, as he slapped the demonic tanuki with enough strength to break two of its fangs. "The Han is not going to destroy you. The Han is going to annihilate you to the point all that will remain of you shall be memories. Other's people memories. The Han forgets losers quickly."

"Sand Shurik-" Han interrupted the attack by punching the beast's jaw. The creature attempted to fight back with its tail, only for it to be absentmindedly deflected by a kick. The giant started beating the crap out of Gaara, easily tossing the monster to the ground.

"Let's play humanball," Han whispered, gathering all his strength and a good chunk of his chakra reserves in his leg and kicking Gaara while he was still down.

The Jinchuuriki was propelled upward, flew above the stadium, and landed in the forest outside Konoha. Using his steam to fly above the city, Han quickly found the tanuki.

He was getting bigger.

Han soon found himself staring at the fully manifested Shukaku, the creature easily the size of a building. The unconscious Gaara was sleeping on the top of its head, having allowed the beast to take over. **"You little piece of shit!" **Shukaku roared maniacally, glaring at Han. **"This is gonna suck, for you!"**

Han shrugged, and flew in the creature's direction. **"Take this!" **Shukaku started firing bullets of air with astonishing accuracy. One of the blasts barely missed Han and went on to destroy a large chunk of the forest.

Han narrowed his eyes, making hand seals midair. This was going to take most of his chakra reserves, but it would show Gaara which of them was the boss. "Steam Screen."

Han's body started producing an incredible quantity of steam, enough to create a large cloud around him. It prevented Shukaku from seeing clearly. **"Come on, get out here!" **the Ichibi snarled, as the steam cloud closed up. He would probably target the unconscious Gaara, but the Shukaku wouldn't let him get close. **"I wanna see your bloody face when you die!"**

It was indeed a face that came out of the cloud first.

A dolphin's head, with five horns of varying length. The creature was slightly bigger than Shukaku itself, a white horse the size of buildings. Its five tails waved with majesty, and the Ichibi winced. **"Oh shi-"**

**"This is for calling me 'My Little Pony' in front of dad, you asshole Raccoon!" **Kokuo, the five-tailed beast, headbutted Shukaku's stomach with its horns, knocking Shukaku on its back. Then the giant horse jumped above the tanuki. **"And this is because you're ugly!"**

**"Wait, please, don't do-"**

**"Five-mountain jump!"**

The Gobi's hoofs smashed Shukaku's head so strongly the shockwave blasted the Ichibi's body and a good chunk of the forest around them into dust.

When it was over, the Gobi dematerialized, allowing Han to regain control and land on the ground safely. _"It felt wonderful," _the horse mentally told its host. _"Can we do it again? Please?"_

"Later," Han replied, before glancing at the Shukaku's remains. "The Han warned you his punching-bag you would be."

_"Yeah, yeah, well, do the victory ritual and let's go help your pals, I'm pretty sure this energy surge I sense comes from Chomei."_

Han quickly found what he sought: the defeated Gaara, laying stunned in his own sand. "Say uncle," Han ordered, grabbing the redhead by the collar. "Say uncle, _bitch_."

"U… uncle…"

"The Han dominated you," the giant boasted, claiming Gaara's forehead protector as his own, "And that's his trophy." He put the defeated boy on his shoulder, turned around, and prepared to go back to Konoha and let the town marvel in his wonderfulness.

Two people were observing him.

"You know, Itachi," Kisame Hokage, shirtless and wielding Samehada, grinned at his partner. "I think next time I defeat you in a spar-"

"If you do that," Itachi Uchiha replied, his only facial expression being in a deadpan frown, "I won't ever speak to you again."

"It wouldn't change much," Kisame deadpanned, glancing at Han next. "You recognize us?"

"The Han would say you're a shark and a crow on a walk," Han replied. "Could you please step out of the Han's way?"

They didn't.

"Well, suck to be you."

Han threw Gaara at the two ninjas.

Itachi, his Sharingan activated, easily dodged the surprise attack, but the slower Kisame was forced to deflect the improvised projectile with his hand. Exploiting the opening and realizing he would be easier to take out than his partner, the Gobi's vessel charged at Hoshigake.

The swordsman attempted a horizontal strike, which Han avoided by lowering himself. Extending his arm, the giant had it hit Kisame's stomach. "The Han's One Man Lariat!" he shouted upon knocking down his opponent.

Such strike would usually kill an opponent in one move. In fact, the man who taught it to Han in the first place, a crazy rapper from the Land of Lightning, pretended he snapped a man's spine with it.

Kisame was barely hurt, much to the Gobi's chagrin.

_"We're all gonna die! He's a shark, I'm a dolphin, I'm lower in the food chain!"_

"I don't wish to hurt you," Itachi whispered, launching a volley of Shuriken aimed at Han's eyes. The Gobi's vessel was forced to leap away to avoid getting blinded. "Surrender and I promise we will not harm you."

"Sorry, the Han learned never to trust people who kill their own family for the hell of it," the giant replied, closing the gap between himself and the Uchiha. If the man stayed at distance and if his frail appearance was to be trusted, he could dodge blows, but he couldn't survive them.

"Fire Stream Technique!" Itachi whispered, his hands moving faster than the eyes could follow. Like a dragon, he breathed a long cone of fire at his opponent. Gathering steam around his body as an improvised protection, Han kept charging through the fire, endured the heat, and attempted to punch the Uchiha's face.

Itachi gracefully dodged the first punch…

And realized Han's second hand aimed at something else.

"The Han's Brutal Manhood Castration Fist!"

Itachi, suddenly very afraid, activated the Mangekyo.

An ethereal but very real giant fist hit Han's face, propelling him a few meters away from the Uchiha. As he landed to his feet, the giant looked up.

And up.

Itachi was surrounded by a colossal, colored armor of solid chakra. Its shape was vaguely humanoid, with strong arms, a head, and the allure of a knight. Itachi was standing inside the chest plate, glaring at the former Iwa-nin with genuine rage.

"Wow… you're compensating for something, right?"

At Itachi's expression, Han understood he should have kept his mouth shut.

The ethereal warrior's fist moved faster than the wind, smashing the spot where Han used to stand. Reacting faster, the Gobi's vessel managed to dodge, pondering his actions. _"Run like hell!" _the Gobi immediately suggested. _"I've already used a good chunk of our chakra with the Five-Mountain Jump! I need a few minutes to get it back, so put as much distances between them and you, rest a little, and come back for round two later!"_

"He's too fast," Han noted, struggling to escape Itachi's attempts at crushing him. "Can you give the Han enough chakra to go one tail?"

_"You're going to get us killed," _the Gobi complained, although he agreed to Han's suggestion. A cloak of thick white chakra surrounded the red warrior's body, creating an artificial tail behind the former Iwa-nin's back.

His speed and strength enhanced, Han circled around Itachi, stopping when he had the mass murderer's back in sight. Before the Uchiha could rotate, the red giant tackled his strange chakra armor with his shoulder. The blow failed to destroy Itachi's protection, but the shockwave threw him to the ground.

Wasting no time, Han repeatedly punched Itachi's ethereal armored plate, quickly cracking it open. Raising his two hands and joining them, the giant prepared to smash through the chakra armor and shatter the Uchiha's skull in one strike.

Then he was striped of the Gobi's chakra.

Han actually blinked in surprise at this new development, a mistake that cost him the fight. Samehada hit his red armor with enough power to snap a tree in two. The metal endured the hit, but Han was tossed aside.

"Itachi, with me!" Kisame made hand seals, his partner imitating his motions. "Water Style: Shark Bomb Jutsu!"

Han raised his eyes, and faced two dozen shark-shaped water projectiles as they prepared to land on his face.

The resulting explosion was deafening, water flowing enough to fill a pool. When the assault was over, Han laid in the water, knocked out.

"Wow… two more seconds and he would have broken past the Susanoo…" Kisame noted, unable to resist the urge to mock his partner. "It takes _balls_…"

"Kisame, if you ever speak of this event to _anyone_, I will kill you," the Uchiha promised ominously, glancing at the unconscious Jinchuuriki. "Let's get these two and continue with Sasori-san's plan."

"Right, right…"

* * *

It took Tobi twenty seconds to kill Danzo.

He had attempted to kill the masked man with a blade of wind, only for the Uchiha to teleport behind the Root leader, and pierce his skull with a kunai. The man collapsed, blood flowing from his injury. "That was… anticlimactic," the Uchiha noted, kicking the corpse to see if he was playing possum. "Strange… I expected more."

When the body vanished into thin air, only Tobi's instinctive activation of his intangibility saved his brain, as a kunai phased through his skull. Teleporting to the other side of the room, the masked Uchiha found himself staring at a very much alive Danzo Shimura. "The hell?"

Danzo replied by firing a volley of miniature bullets of air at his opponent. Tobi reacted instantly by countering them with fireballs. In doing so, he noticed one of the Sharingan implanted on the man's arm had gone blind.

Putting two and two together, Tobi smirked behind his mask. "Izanagi, the most forbidden Kinjutsu in the history of the Uchiha clan," he mused, Danzo closing the gap between them, blades of wind forming around his arms. "Why? Because overuse of it weakens the individual's grip on reality, resulting in madness. All of that to surpass Sarutobi? You can't stand being second best, can you?"

"If I can kill you here, Konoha will be safer," Danzo replied, ignoring his opponent's taunting and attempting to find a flaw in the man's intangibility. "No price is too high for that."

"You think you can save anyone, Danzo? You are not a hero. You're just a walking corpse." Tobi vanished, replaced with a hundred explosive tags. They instantly vaporized Danzo. "Why don't you do like all old men and die?"

Sacrificing another Izanagi to escape death, Danzo was quickly grabbed by the throat by the masked Uchiha. "Alright, I tire of playing with ruins," the masked man mocked, his Sharingan absorbing the air around him. "Time to vanish in the void!"

Reacting quickly before he could be absorbed, Danzo shoved an explosive kunai in the hole in space. Realizing the danger, Madara interrupted his technique and backed down. Unlike Danzo, he survived the explosion, although he was thrown across the room by the blast.

"Just as I thought, you are forced to materialize to activate your absorbing technique," Danzo noted, once more cheating death. "You cannot stay intangible _and _open the gate to whatever place you drag your victims to at the same time."

Madara groaned, getting up. His broken mask, damaged, fell to the ground, revealing the face underneath.

It wasn't Madara Uchiha.

Danzo didn't bother to hide his surprise, upon identifying his nemesis. "You should be dead," he noted flatly, before being blast apart by a volley of powerful fireballs.

"Sorry, being buried alive does not count as certain death," the unmasked Uchiha deadpanned, attempting to kill Danzo the second he appeared back. "Although I had to undergo a little plastic surgery to be presentable. The boulders did ruin my face. As you can see, beauticians did wonders with this face."

This face, it was the grown up version of a Uchiha that died in a mission, for the sake of the Leaf. An untalented boy who graduated as the dropout of his class, and as such was put in the same team as the genius Kakashi Hatake. Even if apprenticed to Minato Namikaze, the boy hadn't shown any particular aptitude. Danzo would have forgotten him, if he hadn't sacrificed his life to ensure the success of a capital mission during the Third Shinobi War. For such sacrifice, his name had been written on Konoha's memorial, and Shimura had considered him a hero.

Obito Uchiha had changed for the worst.

He had grown into a handsome man, with a pretty face and a happy smile. His left eye, extracted by Rin Nahora, had been replaced with a two-tomoed Sharingan, much different from the right one. All in all, he could be mistaken for a charmer, if it were not the fact he oozed with malevolence and killing intent.

"I am certain there is an interesting story behind your survival, Obito Uchiha," Danzo noted, firing a powerful, rock-shattering gust at his opponent. "Why are you doing this?"

"Harming Konoha?" Obito asked flatly, stopping Danzo's counterattack with a wall of flames. "Uchiha Flame Battle Encampment!"

"You died a hero, and you rise from the grave as one of the Leaf's greatest foes," Danzo replied, trying to navigate around the barrier and exploit an opening. "Is it because of Rin Nahora?"

"Please, you think I try to take over the world for a _childhood crush_? I'm not that petty, Shimura-kun." Obito teleported right in front of Danzo, gutting him with a kunai. "To be honest, I just don't give a shit about her and Kakashi anymore."

"I should rejoice he is not there to see how far his role model has fallen," Danzo replied, materializing right in front of the Uchiha. This time, the Akatsuki member didn't turn intangible fast enough. "Rasengan."

With his right hand, Danzo smashed a sphere of chakra on Obito's chest.

The powerful aftershock propelled the Uchiha against a wall, although he seemed more angered than harmed. "My own teacher's technique," Obito snarled, dodging a bullet of wind, "Minato-sensei used it too, the night of the Kyuubi's attack, after I interrupted the suppression of the Kyuubi. Almost got me too."

On anyone else, the attempt at psychological warfare might have resulted in slipping up, but Danzo knew better than leave an opening. Instead, Danzo analyzed the battle's development. _The fact he took my Rasengan and dodged instead of teleporting means he is economizing his space-time ninjutsu, _the old man guessed. _It makes sense. It must be extremely difficult and after fighting my men he must be low on chakra._

Obito apparently read his mind, for he smirked wickedly. "Our fighting styles aren't this different, which means it falls on endurance. Either you run out of Sharingan to save yourself, or I run out of chakra to dodge your strikes. The one who lasts the longest wins."

"So you indeed released the Kyuubi on Konoha," Danzo whispered. "I was right in the end, it was an Uchiha who did it. I just got the wrong ones. I regret having pushed for their destruction."

"I laughed really hard when you ordered Itachi to destroy his own clan," the Akatsuki member gloated. "I mean, come on, you destroyed mentally and physically every Uchiha except the right one! Although I helped you a little, of course."

"The only mystery is, _why_?" Danzo asked. "Why did you release the Kyuubi?"

"Technically, I didn't break the seal. I simply interrupted Minato-sensei's attempts at reinforcing it when his boy was born. Without his intervention, the seal weakened enough for the Kyuubi to crawl out of Kushina's belly on its own." Obito snorted, firing a stream of fire at the Root leader. "The Kyuubi's rampage was a complete accident. Honest."

As he dodged, Danzo listened closely to what the madman had to say. "I had come to kill sensei's boy in revenge for leaving me under rocks, but when he managed to save the brat, I settled on the wife. Unfortunately, the Kyuubi had already broken its shackles, and all I could do was watching the resulting arson and mass destruction. Bah, at least the fox killed Minato and Kushina before being sealed."

"You caused the death of thousands over a petty grudge?" Danzo snarled, showing genuine anger for the first time in the battle. "Do you have any idea how much it cost us all?"

"I don't care," he replied bluntly, closing up to Danzo. "I've left my conscience under the boulders, literally. I feel no remorse for what I do anymore, for I am a true Shinobi. You should take a few notes."

"Fool." Danzo attempted to kick Obito, only to end up passing through him. "A true Shinobi mustn't feel emotion, true, but he must still have a conscience, for his loyalty is what differentiates him from the rabble."

"You are the one to talk," the Uchiha mocked, incinerating the man with a well-placed fireball. He coughed briefly, slightly tired. "I know everything, Danzo. About how you covered up Orochimaru's experiments for your own use. How you plotted with Hanzo and accidentally created Pain. How you set up Kabuto Yakushi and his mother to kill each other. How you plotted to extract the Kyuubi from Naruto Uzumaki in clear violation of the Sandaime's wishes, backing down only because there was no seal master the level of the Yondaime around to guarantee the procedure's success."

"I did what I did for the good of the Leaf," Danzo shot back, using a shunshin to appear in front of Obito and punch him by surprise. The Uchiha staggered a little, and teleported away before the war hawk could finish him off.

"No, everything you did, was for your own ambitions, because you wanted the Hokage seat, because you wanted a Konoha in your twisted image. Liars like you anger me. At least I have the courage to recognize the truth about my own motives." Tobi reappeared a few meters away, throwing two Fuma Shuriken at his adversary. "When all Bijuu are mine, I will create a new world without feelings. A world where there is no nation, no lies, no identity, no pain. I will kill the self itself."

Dodging the projectiles, Danzo retaliated by activating Shisui's Sharingan. "Great Fireball Jutsu!" Having copied Obito's own technique earlier in the fight, the war hawk unleashed a blast of fire at the Uchiha. The man phased through it, showing genuine tiredness.

Danzo silently cursed his lack of foresight. Shisui's Kotoamatsukami could have won the fight, if it wasn't this long and hard to prepare. He should have prepared it before going into battle.

"Phew, at this rate, you're gonna win," Obito deadpanned. "You're tougher than expected. I guess it's time to stop playing fair."

Before Danzo could blink, a white maw broke past the ground underneath his feet and ripped his face off.

Using another Izanagi to materialize away from the fake Madara Uchiha, Danzo ground his teeth.

"You didn't think I beat all your men on my own, did you?" Obito snickered. "You aren't the only guy here with a personal army."

Dozens of monsters emerged from the soil and the walls of the room, all identical. They were vaguely humanoid, although they lacked clothes, reproductive organs, and hair. Their flesh was white, their teeth were fangs, and their eyes feral. He had already seen these creatures somewhere. "Zetsu."

"Zetsu was their template, the first of thousands." Obito grabbed one of the creatures, Danzo's Sharingan noticing the chakra being transferred from the beast to the renegade Uchiha. "Kill him boys."

The remaining creatures charged with a hiss. Joining his hands, Danzo pushed them back with a powerful gale. However, more rushed inside the room. One nearly killed the old man by ripping its fangs into his jugular, getting his head perforated by a blade of wind for his trouble.

"They feel neither pain nor fear," Obito commented, replenishing his reserves by draining a Zetsu Clone's. "They don't have particular abilities or tactics, but they're good at killing. There are ten thousands of them in this building. Within three years, I could make one hundred thousand of them. Quantity is a quality all of its own, a wise man said."

Biting his finger, Danzo summoned his Baku and stood at its top. The creature looked like a dark orange elephant, with tiger limbs and bandages around his head. The beast started sucking the nearest Zetsu Clones, while Danzo exploited the suction to launch new Wind Techniques at Obito.

"They slaughtered your men like pigs," the Uchiha mocked, using his space-time ninjutsu to phase through the attacks. "A few of the Root killed some of my pets, but they were swarmed in the end. And now… these creatures are all converging toward this location. All I have to do is send waves after waves of them at your until you run out of Sharingan to sacrifice. Don't worry, when you're dead for real, I will have them attack whatever Leaf-nin Sasori's pawns spared. It should be… entertaining."

A hundred Zetsu Clones dropped from the ceiling, surprising Danzo. The Baku summon was quickly swarmed and roared in pain as its flesh was ripped off. The war hawk himself died once again, his throat ripped apart by one of the creature's fangs.

Reviving once again, Danzo was forced to his knees. He had exhausted nearly all his chakra. At best, he could use one last Izanagi by sacrificing Shisui's eye.

"Finally out of chakra?" Obito mocked. "Let's make a deal: you tell me where I can find Edo Tensei, and I promise it won't hurt… much."

"If you and these creatures get away… you will harm the Leaf…" Danzo joined his fingers, deciding to activate his last ace in the hole. "If so…"

Seals covered the walls. The corridors of Root's base lightened. The entire lair shook, and in a split second, Danzo's world was swallowed by a bright light.

When he opened his last eye again, Shisui's Sharingan dying out, Danzo stood in the center of a smoking crater, under the bright sky. His entire base had self destructed, annihilating the street it was hidden under. If the charred remains surrounding the war hawk were to be trusted, then the Zetsu Clones had been destroyed to the last one. "I succeeded," Shimura whispered proudly. "I did it."

"Ha ha, no."

A kunai transpierced Danzo's back, causing him to gasp in a mix of pain and surprise.

"That was close, but I'm better than that," Obito whispered to Danzo, as he materialized behind the Root leader. "You did wipe out my pets though. Bastard. It will take so long to get new ones…"

He slowly approached his mouth from Danzo's ears. "Any last words?"

Danzo, for the first time in his life, smiled with pride.

"Thanks for being so close."

The seal on his stomach activated.

Tobi was too surprised to escape. A sphere of blackness grew out of Danzo, absorbing light, sound, matter itself. The renegade Uchiha, caught off guard, drowned in the darkness, unable to teleport away. When the jutsu was over, Danzo collapsed to the ground in exhaustion. "Sarutobi…" he whispered with his last breath. "The rest… is up to you…"

Silence fell on the battleground for a few instants, until a two-faced creature rose from the ground, having observed the battle from afar since the very beginning.

"Fuck, Tobi has been sealed!" Zetsu cried in horror. "He's deeeaaad!

**"What is sealed can be unsealed, moron… I think. Maybe." **His other half snorted. **"Let's grab Danzo's corpse and get the hell out of there."**

"And the city?" White Zetsu asked. "Shouldn't we be helping Orochimaru?"

**"Tobi's our priority. He'll have to win on his own." **Black Zetsu snickered. **"The plan has gone off the rails…"**

"Oh fuck…" White Zetsu blinked. "He's there."

**"Who?" **Black Zetsu suddenly picked up the very special chakra signature. **"Guess he was motivated after all."**

* * *

As Enma, turned into an adamantine staff, parrying the Kusanagi, Sarutobi suddenly realized he hadn't aged well.

His mind was as sharp as ever, true, but what he had gained in experience, he had lost in vitality. Hitting seventy was considered exceptional in the Shinobi world, yet old age was a terrifying foe, weakening the Hokage's muscles and reducing his endurance.

And Orochimaru fought with unmatched strength, which was odd.

"Getting tired already, sensei?" the renegade Sannin's mocking sneer caused Sarutobi to curse himself for not having killed his student, back in his underground laboratory. With a kick, the snake pushed back his opponent, and the Kusanagi extended like a spear.

The Hokage dodged the strike, while Terumi unleashed small bullets of lava at the Akatsuki member. Sarutobi was both impressed by the Mizukage's Kekkai Genka and Orochimaru's flawless agility, as he dodged the attack with grace and elegance.

So much potential had gone to waste…

Slamming his hands to the ground, Orochimaru summoned a true sea of snakes, advancing forward to consume all life in its path. Placing his staff horizontally, Sarutobi jumped on it and achieved a difficult balance, the reptiles unable to adhere to Enma and reach the Hokage. Meanwhile, Mei Terumi created a wall out of lava, shielding herself.

Sarutobi spared a glance at his other students. The undead Shodai had created gigantic roots, preventing the Sandaime from seeing anything more than a few explosions. So far, Jiraiya and Tsunade seemed to do well.

Orochimaru suddenly turned into inert earth, the real one attempting to stab his teacher in the back.

Reacting quickly, Sarutobi spun on himself and kicked Orochimaru's skull with all his strength. The bone in his leg broke upon contact, pain flaring through his nerves. The Sannin's bones were harder than steel, and he barely felt the strike.

Grabbing the Hokage's leg, Orochimaru tossed him into the sea of snakes. Sarutobi made hand seals midair, creating a pillar of rock to land on safely.

Mei chose this time to reappear, incinerating the reptiles with a powerful fire jutsu. Sarutobi, unable to move due to his broken leg, decided to give her support, creating dragons of earth to launch at Orochimaru. His renegade student dodged them, avoiding the flames that had slaughtered his summons.

Jiraiya seized the opportunity to sneak on his old teammate and hit him with a Rasengan.

The surprised snake summoner was propelled against his own barrier, crashing against it and being set on fire through mere contact. As Orochimaru shed his body to survive the flames, Tsunade reappeared at her sensei's side, promptly healing the leg. "It will hurt," she said upon placing the bone back in place, causing Sarutobi to groan. "Don't overtax it, it's only a temporary solution."

"Alright," Sarutobi glanced at Jiraiya. "The Edo Tensei?"

"Sealed," the man replied, presenting him a scrolls covered with symbols. "It will hold them until we can released the technique."

The Hokage nodded, and prepared a new jutsu. "Mizukage-dono, Jiraiya, now!"

The three ninjas all unleashed a blast of fire at Orochimaru, incinerating his flesh. The Sannin hissed, his skin falling apart and revealing the true face underneath, that of a teenager. Sarutobi blinked, upon realizing the truth. "No… you completed this abominable technique?"

"I did more than that, sensei," the man smirked malevolently, his body transforming. His skin turned brown, a tail grew out of his tailbone, and sharpened bony spikes pierced his own skin. "Let me show you the power of the last Kaguya."

Spikes of bones were projected in all directions, forcing the group of S-rank ninjas to disperse. Moving with incredible speed, Orochimaru prepared to crush the Sandaime's head with his bare hands. Jiraiya grabbed his teacher, leapt away with him, and turned his hair into needles. The projectiles didn't even pierced the traitor's skin. "What were they supposed to do?" the man mocked Jiraiya.

"They were supposed to hurt," Jiraiya deadpanned. "Guess I will have to try a bigger caliber."

"Sorry, but they'll never compare to bone bullets," Orochimaru shot back, pointing his fingers at his enemies and firing multiple, small spheres of reinforced bones. Jiraiya and his partners barely dodged them, aware they could easily pierce any protection.

Tsunade, the fastest of the group, sneaked up on Orochimaru and punched his ribs with enough strength to shatter a mountain. The traitor was propelled against the purple barrier, cracking it and causing the entire building to shake. Yet, as he rose up to his feet, he shed his body once more, reappearing unharmed. Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "This would have killed a giant summon."

"By combining this special body structure with my own regenerative ninjutsu, I am practically indestructible." Orochimaru grew a javelin out of his arm. "I can't say the same for you." Tsunade rushed forward, this time intending to crush her former teammate's head and kill him in one blow.

Orochimaru smirked, and stabbed his own arm with his javelin, throwing his red blood at Tsunade's face.

The woman instantly stopped moving, paralyzed by her hemophobia. Orochimaru laughed and launched his javelin toward her chest, aiming for the heart.

Sarutobi reacted on impulse, and pushed his female student out of the way.

The spear of bone pierced the old man's iron armor plate, went through the stomach, and ravaged the intestines on its way out. Blood was splattered on the ground, the Hokage collapsing. Tsunade snapped out of her trance, and rushed to his side. "Sensei!"

Meanwhile, Jiraiya, reacting faster than Orochimaru, smashed a giant Rasengan on the traitor's chest. The renegade Sannin hit the purple barrier, which finally shattered, and was propelled into the arena. Trusting Tsunade to save the Sandaime, Jiraiya jumped in pursuit of the traitor.

As both rivals locked eyes, each preparing the summoning jutsu, Jiraiya couldn't help but find it familiar to his last duel with Orochimaru, back when he left the Village. _This time it'll be different, _he promised himself mentally.

The arena was filled with smoke, and two gigantic beasts faced each other. This time, none of them complained about their summoner, and attacked one another in silence. Manda, the colossal purple snake, moved to bite Gamabunta, while the toad boss parried with his blade.

Moving to avoid the two titans, their summoners jumped into the audience's stands to pursue their duel. The place was covered with corpses, and ninjas were still fighting to the death. Most wisely exited the range of the two S-rank ninjas, and the unlucky ones were sliced in half when Orochimaru unleashed horizontal blades of wind at his rival. The toad sage barely dodged the attack, but it still grazed his left side and drew blood.

"I hope you realize I'm going to kill you, like I just killed sensei," Orochimaru attempted to threaten his adversary, as four snakes swirled around his hand and extended to bite Jiraiya.

"I would like to see you try," the toad sage unleashed a stream of fire with his mouth, incinerating the reptiles and forcing Orochimaru to step back.

Mei chose this time to return, unleashing an acid mist on Orochimaru by surprise. The astonished Sannin hissed in pain, both his flesh and bones dissolving, while meanwhile the two giant summons dissipated, Gamabunta due to having been bitten in the jugular, Manda because his face had been impaled by a giant Katana.

Orochimaru vainly attempted to exit the poisoned mist, only for Jiraiya to smash his nose with a Rasengan when he tried. The man was pushed inside the mist once more, cursing.

"I am the immortal Orochimaru," the Sannin boasted, preparing to shed his body again. "I am without equal!"

"I hate to break it to you, but…" Mei Terumi ignored the man's ramblings, as she fired a small bullet of lava in the mist's direction, "Women aren't always soft."

Orochimaru barely had the time to blink before the poisonous mist ignited.

The explosion's blast nearly caused Jiraiya to fall on his back. The shock caused the stadium to shake, the noise was deafening, and the renegade Sannin was torched alive. His flesh was incinerated, his blood boiled, and his organs exploded. Only the unbreakable skeleton remained, falling lifeless to the ground.

Mei waited an instant, narrowing her eyes. "Did I get him?"

After sealing the remains, just in case, the toad sage gave his answer. "Yeah," Jiraiya whispered. "We won."

* * *

When the scorpion's tail wiped out the entire street in one sweeping motion, the ninjas dispersed.

"So," Sasuke shouted, Fuu grabbing both him and Naruto, insect-like wings growing out of her shoulders. Kakashi and Yugao meanwhile jumped roof from roof, trying to dodge the creature's tail. "Does anybody have a plan?

"Kill the beast, and kick Sasori in the balls," Fuu replied. "In that order, if possible."

"Alright, let me correct this: does anybody have a _good _plan?"

"He's a freaking human puppet, he doesn't have balls… I think. Someone should check out later." Naruto bit his finger. "Fuu, I'll need your help. Summon a big one, but hopefully, not Manda. I'm pretty sure he would rather eat us than help."

"Got it." The trio landed on a distant street, and Naruto offered his blood to Fuu. The girl completed the summoning and slammed her hands to the ground. Smoke filled the entire district, as a giant cobra materialized.

"Who dares summon me in the middle of my nap?" Smaug sneered, his nostrils releasing smoke. He glanced at his summoner and narrowed his eyes. "Oh, it's you tourists. What do you want?"

"How much will I have to pay you to kill a giant scorpion without doing too much property damage?" Naruto asked.

"Not enough. If you ignore the property damage we can work on a decent paycheck later."

"Konoha will be destroyed anyway if we fail," Apophis told Naruto, the snake still hiding under his master's clothes.

_I hope nobody will take him for one of Orochimaru's summons, _Naruto mentally added. "Alright… go for the kill."

The snake charged, crawling and hissing. The giant scorpion moved sideways, its stinger launching shots of corrosive poison at the giant reptile. The creature dodged them easily and closed the gap, swirled around the arachnid's tail, and started biting it. The fangs pierced the monster's carapace, resulting in the scorpion shrieking and attempting to shrug off its attacker.

"Fuu, you're going to give Smaug air support with the Nanabi's help," Naruto ordered, forming a strategy. "Sasuke, we'll try sneaking up on Sasori."

"Good luck then," Fuu snorted, blood and green chakra mixing to create a shell over her skin. She flew upward, then dive bombed one of the scorpion's legs, crushing it and immobilizing the creature.

"How are we supposed to beat Sasori in close combat?" Sasuke asked. "It didn't work out well last time."

"I've got a trump card that could take him out, but I need to get close enough to pull it off and since it has a limited duration, we got to make it count." Naruto raised his eyes to the skies, noticing the growing black cloud above him. "You know what, I changed my mind. Let's run."

A metallic sand fell from the skies, turning into tendrils and spears. The two Konoha-nins fled as fast as they could, the projectiles flattening the houses around them. Tendrils of black sand progressed toward them, forcing the teens to dodge them with difficulties. Sasuke searched under his clothes, bringing out a small bottle, and threw it on the ground, releasing a small pond of water.

"Water Style: Aqua Projectiles!" Sasuke shouted, the water turning into small, pressurized bullets. They deflected the tendrils, giving Naruto enough time to try locating Sasori.

The man was standing on a flying platform of black sand, the Third Kazekage hovering closer to Naruto and Sasuke. Silently, the puppet's arms opened and unleashed a volley of kunai at the duo. Sasuke used the remaining water to create a dolphin-shaped missile of liquid, which impacted against the projectiles. "Han's technique?" Naruto asked, searching a projectile in his bag.

"Yeah," Sasuke admitted, glancing briefly at his friend's weaponry: a bottle full of a black liquid equipped with a handkerchief… which Naruto promptly set on fire with his lighter. "What's that?"

"A spiced drink," Naruto deadpanned, throwing it with all his strength upward at the Third Kazekage, as Sasori was too far away to be targeted directly. The projectile landed on its face and set it and its robes ablaze, much to Sasori's horror. "I guess making puppets of wood has its downsides."

The black iron shifted uncontrollably, Sasori's platform decomposing. The rest of the metal sand flowed in all directions, without aim or purpose. "The Kazekage lost control of its magnetism," Naruto noted, before realizing a literal tsunami of metal was rushing in their direction, with little way to escape.

A wall of earth formed out of the soil and stopped the attack, shielding the boys. They glanced behind them, locking eyes with their savior. "I guess I'm a little late, as always," Kakashi shrugged behind his ANBU mask.

The moment was quickly interrupted when the Third Kazekage, still ablaze, shattered the earth wall and charged toward Naruto, a buzzsaw having replaced his left arm. "Lower!" Naruto heard a female voice shout.

When Naruto threw himself to his knees, barely avoiding brutal mutilation, a tanto sliced the Third Kazekage in half. The puppet's remains crashed on the ground right at Naruto's side. "Thanks," the blonde told Yugao, as the woman put her blade back in her sheath.

"No problem," Yugao told him as she helped Naruto get back to his feet, before Kakashi removed the wall, allowing them to see Sasori.

The puppeteer was around one hundred meters away, staring in genuine surprise at his destroyed puppet. He glanced briefly at his summon, which was slowly being ripped apart by Fuu's claws and Smaug's fangs in spite of its valiant resistance

"I never thought I would lose these two," Sasori told himself, before removing his clothes, revealing six arms, a cable extending from his belly and scrolls attached to his back. "It has been a long time since I used myself."

Using the cable to lift himself in the air, Sasori seized one of his scrolls and opened it. Naruto blinked, when the skies above him were shadowed with a hundred puppets armed to the teeth. "I will show you a spectacle that brought a country to its knees," the puppeteer boasted, chakra strings forming out of his chest and animating the puppets. "Kneel before my performance!"

The hundred puppets descended, their weapons raised.

"I need to get close!" Naruto told Kakashi and Yugao, the latter instantly backing him up. The two ran toward Sasori while dodging its puppets, Sasuke and Kakashi destroying them with fireballs.

"Back down," Sasori warned, his hands starting to shoot streams of fire at the blonde. Yugao pushed them back with a powerful gale, and proceeded to cut in half an axe-wielding puppet with her tanto the following second.

Sasori wisely attempted to back down, suspicious of Naruto's plan… only for Fuu to tackle him by surprise from behind, crashing with the redhead to the ground. The puppeteer quickly pushed her back with a stream of pressurized water, but Naruto finally had him in range.

Touching his arm, Naruto activated the anti-chakra seal.

There was no flashy effect, no sparkle, no dramatic wind. Yet the effects were instantaneous. Sasori fell to his knees, the chakra flow allowing his body to move disturbed. The strings he created vanished, his hundred puppets turning inanimate. Fuu shrieked in brief pain, struggling to maintain her chakra cloak. Yugao coughed, as if she suddenly caught a flu.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked the two girls, while Sasuke and Kakashi quickly joined them. They looked deadly sick.

"I've been worse," Yugao chuckled.

"Nana's chakra is more potent than a human's, hence, I still have access to its power," Fuu replied, "Let's make it quick."

The blonde nodded and glanced at the former Suna-nin. "So?" Naruto asked, remembering Sasori's words in the Forest of Death, "How does it feel to be dragged to my level?"

Sasori didn't reply anything. He couldn't move, his body being dependent on chakra to move. Naruto and his allies carefully approached him, with Naruto being the closest.

Then he noticed Sasori's fingers twitching.

Taking a step back, Naruto barely avoided a sneak attack, a kunai barely missing his leg. Sasori, much to his cousin's shock, rose back to his feet, albeit with difficulties. "Impossible,"

"Always have a back-up is my motto," the puppeteer shot back. "I've got a battery. It's a poor substitute for Chakra, but it will work for a time." He snickered. "Interesting secret weapon, Naruto. I am genuinely surprised."

Naruto searched inside his bag, preparing to bring out his flamethrower. A fuma shuriken thrown in his direction interrupted the blonde, who instinctively dodged.

Much to his horror, Naruto realized half a dozen ninja in grey were rushing in their direction. Their headband's symbol was similar to a sound note.

"You think you're the only one who thought about bringing reinforcements?" Sasori deadpanned, before turning his back and running away.

"Shit, he's trying to get out of the seal's range!" Naruto cursed.

"Yugao, Sasuke, Fuu, take care of these ninjas," Kakashi commanded, before locking eyes with the blonde, "Care for a game of hide and slay?"

Naruto nodded and raced after Sasori, praying his friends would be safe. The three engaged Sasori's goons, while Naruto and Kakashi rushed after the missing-nin.

They quickly caught up to him inside a half-destroyed alley. Sasori used a pile of rubbles as cover and started firing small fireballs with one of his arms to keep his enemies at bay, Naruto and Kakashi hiding behind the alley's corner. Searching in his bag, Naruto quickly put on his heat resisting suit and gas mask. "At my signal, we rush in," Kakashi said, preparing three smoke bomb. "Go!" he ordered when tossed them in Sasori's direction.

As smoke filled the alley, reducing Sasori's field of vision, the duo charged inside and progressed past the piles of rubbles. Kakashi reached Sasori first, a kunai in hands. The redhead dodged the attack, grabbed Kakashi's shoulders, and propelled the copy-nin against a wall with all his strength. Unfortunately for the puppeteer, it gave Naruto enough time to close the gap and activate his flamethrower.

Sasori shrieked when flames swallowed his body whole. The wood composing his body burned, as he was brought to his knees. Naruto pursued his ruthless assault, although he felt a brief instant of sadness over killing a family member.

Then he remembered what happened to Anko, Sakura, and Sai, causing him to press the flamethrower's button more forcefully.

He would have roasted Sasori alive, had not pain suddenly raced through his arm, forcing him to stop. The place where the anti-chakra seal was located felt like hell, and when Sasori's burning form rose up once more, it didn't take long for Naruto to guess what had happened.

The seal had _glitched_.

"I hate prototypes and design flaws," Naruto cursed, as strings of chakra swirled around his flamethrower, stealing it. A metallic hand caught and tossed it to the ground.

As Sasori emerged from the flames, Naruto couldn't help but shiver.

The wood and face had been turned to ashes. The fake skin had burned. All that remained was a skeleton of metal, the armature around which Sasori's artificial body was built. A small compartment, probably containing Sasori's vital organs, was pulsating inside the ribs. The face had been replaced with a skull, the eyes with glass.

"You have been a bad brat, Naruto," Sasori whispered, his voice created by artificial lungs. "Time to get punished."

He quickly charged. Naruto instantly grabbed his tanto's pommel and unsheathed it, targeting the articulations of one of Sasori's arm, slicing it. However, he was no match in close combat for the puppeteer. One of the monster's metal hands grabbed Naruto's throat and lifted him above the ground. Even through the heat suit Naruto could sense the heat from the melting metal.

"This is very sad," Sasori whispered serenely, one of his hands turning into a buzzsaw and aiming for Naruto's arm, "But I will have to cut a limb or two. You left me no choice."

Apophis chose that instant to pierce the heat suit, swirling around the metal arm and halting its progress. The snake hissed in pain over touching the hot steel, and unfortunately, it became quickly clear the puppeteer's inhuman strength would prevail over his feeble resistance.

Naruto's eyes noticed Kakashi sneaking behind Sasori, a ball of lightning inside his palm. The puppeteer heard him, released Naruto and rotated, raising his weapon.

Blood was splattered over the ground.

Sasori's buzzsaw sliced Kakashi's throat, while Kakashi's Chidori destroyed Sasori's chest, destroying the heart inside. The two stood immobile, in a mix of astonishment and despair, glancing at their mutual mortal wounds.

"I see," Sasori whispered with a strange sense of serenity, falling to the ground with his defeated opponent. "This was… unforeseen."

Kakashi would have replied something, if he still had a voice. "Killed… by the son… of my parent's murderer…" Sasori glanced away, his body failing him. "Such a stupid way to go…"

Kakashi didn't have last words, but he had one last thought. As he started bleeding to death, his sight failing him, he pictured a face in his mind, that of a friend long gone.

_What would you think of me, Obito?_

* * *

When Naruto rose up again, he got rid of the mask and inhaled deeply. "Are you okay?" Apophis asked, the cobra sounding genuinely afraid for the blonde's life.

"Yeah," the Jinchuuriki replied, before glancing at the two dead ninjas.

After briefly checking out Sasori's corpse in case he was playing possum, and quickly realizing he wasn't, Naruto put his tanto back in its sheath and examined Kakashi. The man's heart had stopped beating, and he seemed strangely peaceful in death. Naruto sighed and glanced at the dead redhead.

"Farewell, Sasori," Naruto said, upon picking up the flamethrower and proceeding to burn to ashes any remaining organic part of his dead cousin, in case Pain had the means to repair him, "I sincerely hoped it could have gone another way. Maybe… maybe in another life, it will be different."

When the fire died down, Naruto put his flamethrower back in his bag, and with great difficulties lifted and carried Kakashi's corpse. The Sharingan was too precious to be left for any passer-by to extract, and it would allow Konoha to give Kakashi decent funerals.

"I hope Yugao and co managed to win," he told himself, before shrugging, "Of course they did."

The first thing he found, when he returned to the site of the battle, was the corpse of a giant scorpion and the remains of Sasori's goons. "Uncle returned home," Apophis told Naruto, hiding under his clothes, "I sense three heartbeats a bit farther north."

A short time later, the blonde found his friends laying on the ground, bloodied and unconscious. A man had put his foot over Sasuke's head, and locked eyes with Naruto, who instantly recognized him.

The man had orange, almost red short spiky hair. His skin was deathly pale and covered with piercings. His eyes were inhuman, a Dojutsu. His slashed headband represented Amegakure, and his black robes were covered with red clouds.

"This man," Naruto heard Apophis whisper, "He has no heartbeat. He isn't alive. You must flee-"

"You have gone farther than you should have. But then again, you hadn't crossed a god either. The ride is over, Naruto." Pain raised his hand. "Time to pray."

An invisible force sent Naruto crashing against a wall, knocking him out instantly.

* * *

Glancing down at the town of Konoha, the six paths of Pain observed the fighting. Blood was filling the street, former allies fought one another, banners were forgotten in the chaos. All that remained was the desire to harm someone, to endure and survive. Peace was a foreign notion

Obviously**,** this city hadn't suffered enough to reach enlightenment.

Five Paths of Pain left, each of them carrying a body. The Deva Path floated above the Hokage Monument, joined his palms, and uttered a death sentence. "Shinra Tensei."

And the Hokage Monument crumbled, the landside devastating the Leaf.

In a single instant, hundreds of lives were wiped out by rolling rocks. In a single second, buildings that lasted for nearly a century were crushed underneath the head of the Yondaime Hokage. As the power of the Rinnegan unleashing untold destruction, true equality was achieved. Men, women, children, civilians, ninjas, Konoha-nin, Suna-nin, were the same in death.

The grim reaper did not discriminate this day.

When the technique was finished, a quarter of Konoha had been reduced to ruins. As Pain contemplated his work, flying above the ground to return home, he found himself drunk on this vision.

_Pain to the world._

* * *

**A/N: **yep, the invasion ends with an Akatsuki semi-victory. Semi because while they captured the Jinchuuriki, many of their main members are dead or incapacitated, their resources have taken a hit, and Konoha has survived.

Many elements in the different battles were inspired by the Ultimate Ninja Storm series, especially the moves of Han and Mei.

Han's fighting style is more or less the Juggernaut's: getting close to the enemy, beating him up with physical blows, taking hits instead of dodging them... at least this is what I gathered from his brief fight in canon. Oh, and Gaara never stood a chance. _Never_.

While writing the Danzo/Tobi fight I realized their fighting style was more or less the same: all attack while using a technique to cheat death repeatedly. I think a canon duel would be a matter of who can last the longest. And half of what Tobi said during the fight were lies meant to make Danzo slip. Psychological warfare if you prefer. And I had him do a little plastic surgery to be presentable.

I've got the impression many dislike Tobito, at least after his identity and motives were revealed. I preferred to insist on his cruelty/madness to make him a nastier antagonist: less whining and ranting, more vicious and insane. Hope the small change worked for the best.

Anyway, next chapter will detail the aftermath of the invasion, and then the second half of the story begins.

Would you kindly review?


	13. Chapter 13

If there are fans of the Mecha reading this, then I would suggest seeing "Pacific Rim". It's basically a homage to the genre (you won't be surprised by the scenario, but it's still interesting to see the genre made into a movie; makes me wish we had a live Gundam, Code Geass, or Evangelion movie).

Anyway, thanks ABitterPill for betaing.

**Disclaimer:** a platypus is a venomous mammalian four-legged duck. Why? 'Cause nature was drunk when she made this beast.

* * *

_**Chapter 13:**_

_**Crimson Dawn**_

The invasion had been stopped, but at a great cost.

The day after Suna retreated, Jiraiya stood atop the outer wall, gazing morosely across the city as the first rays of dawn illuminated it. Konoha had suffered, the Hokage Monument having been destroyed alongside a good chunk of the city. While the military hadn't suffered much, the decimation of Danzo's entire regiment being the exception, he civilian casualties were heavy and the property damage severe. It would take time to rebuild, and at least years for the Leaf to return to full strength.

Jiraiya doubted Akatsuki or the other nations would give Konoha such a respite.

The faint sound of a Shunshin caught his attention. Tsunade stood at his side, observing the world below. "I thought I would find you here," she whispered. "You had trouble sleeping too?"

"I needed some time alone to think." Jiraiya crossed his arms and briefly closed his eyes. "Where did we fuck up?"

The last Senju chuckled weakly. "I would usually suggest you to drown your sorrow, but I doubt the next Hokage can afford such a habit."

"The old geezers nominated me?" Jiraiya sneered in disgust. "Sarutobi isn't even buried yet."

Tsunade glanced away, causing Jiraiya to curse his foolishness. The woman blamed herself for her failure to save her teacher. The toad sage knew with Sarutobi's age and wounds nothing could have been done, but survivor's guilt was a bitch to overcome. Especially since it was Tsunade's hemophobia that had led to their sensei's demise, and it wasn't the first time she failed to save a loved one on the brink of death.

_"Promise me, Jiraiya, Tsunade… that you will watch Konoha… for me…" Sarutobi smiled, blood dripping from his mouth. "This is… an old teacher's last request…"_

"What is done is done," Tsunade finally decided, her voice betraying her sorrow. "This village needs a new, strong leader in face of a crisis. That is what they said, word for word. And Naruto needs someone with the resources needed to locate him."

"Gaara, Han, Fuu, and Naruto have all been kidnapped," Jiraiya guessed, "By Nagato."

"Who?"

"The boy with the Rinnegan I taught in Ame." Tsunade didn't bother to hide her surprise. "Two hours ago, a few of Naruto's friends came to see me. They had brought Naruto's pet snake, Apophis, who had apparently managed to escape his owner's capture. The reptile explained me what happened yesterday, in detail. Sasori and Kakashi were both killed during the battle in the streets-"

"It wasn't hard to guess," Tsunade cut in, "We've found hundreds of his unwilling sleeper agents whose brainwashing broke after his death. As for Kakashi… are you certain?"

"Naruto's attacker took the corpse with him." Jiraiya took his breath. "Apophis' description of his eyes matches that of the Rinnegan. I thought Nagato had been killed by Hanzo in a failed uprising, but I was mistaken. I'm guessing he might be this 'Pain' who's leading Akatsuki. I can't believe I tutored our greatest enemy."

"You couldn't know how the kid would turn out," the Senju consoled him. "If Nagato is indeed Akatsuki's leader and came in person to Konoha, then he might also be the reason Danzo is missing. He might have destroyed his regiment before coming to help Sasori, albeit too late to save the puppeteer."

"All I can say is, Akatsuki hurt us badly and with four Jinchuuriki in their custody, it _will _get worse." The toad Sannin cracked his fingers. "The Jinchuuriki are most probably somewhere in the Land of Rain, or in a discreet hideout somewhere on the continent. With my spy network being nearly nonexistent in Rain, it will be a pain to find them. Doubly so, as we can't afford to waste any ninja since either Kumo or Iwa might try exploiting our temporary weakness."

"Mei Terumi has offered her help in locating the Jinchuuriki," Tsunade pointed out. "I don't fully trust her, true, but we need all the help available."

"Unfortunately, I won't be able to be both Godaime and in charge of recovering Naruto." The pervert locked eyes with Tsunade. "You _have _to be Godaime."

Tsunade observed him in silence for a brief moment. "You know it's impossible," she explained, "I abandoned this town for years, remember? They will never accept me. I've lost touch with this city for too long."

Jiraiya's stare turned cold. "Tsunade, you remember our conversation in the stadium?" The woman slowly nodded. "I'm sick of running away. I've been running away from my godson for more than a decade, and when it mattered most I wasn't there. I _need _to make up for that. I… I will never be a good Hokage, Tsunade. I've never been responsible in my life, and I would probably jump into action without a second thought. You and Orochimaru were always the brains to my brawn."

"And yet you did more good than the two of us put together," Tsunade shot back, "You should be proud of who you are, Jiraiya. I am happy that at least one of the Sannin turned out alright."

Jiraiya suddenly felt incredible joy, and cracked a smile. "Have you finally succumbed to my charms?"

To his surprise, Tsunade smiled back. "I think with the burden you're trying to hand me, I'll be mean and leave you in the dark."

Jiraiya took his breath. "Tsunade, Konoha is yours. It has to be yours. Not to someone like the elders, or a Clan Head. Yours."

Tsunade glared at him. "Even sensei's platypus?" she deadpanned, before shrugging. "Alright… I will do it. Not for Konoha, or for this post. For you. And if you wish to one day take the position, I will step down. Just… just don't let Pain kill you, okay?"

Jiraiya gave her a thumb up. "Hey, I'm still the master!" he joked. "I've got a few lessons to teach that Nagato brat."

* * *

Iruka Umino sighed, as he explained to his students how they could help the adults rebuild the village with basic techniques. Everyone had been mobilized to support the reconstruction, and the Academy was no exception.

Iruka himself hadn't seen most of the invasion. He and the children had been evacuated to a bunker hidden underneath the southern part of the city. They had been fortunate, for the bunkers placed inside the Hokage Monument had been utterly destroyed, their inhabitants nearly all killed. Iruka was grateful none of his students had perished during the battle.

Of course, there was the problem of emotional scars. Many of these kids had lost a parent or more during the battle, and as their teacher Iruka had offered to welcome orphans at his home. They reminded him of his own situation, after the Nine Tails' rampage.

Koohamaru had been hit the worst. The loss of his grandfather and role model had been a crushing blow, and Iruka had done his best to mentor him during this ordeals.

"Iruka-sensei," Hanabi Hyuuga raised her hand, "Can I ask you a few questions, alone?"

The teacher raised an eyebrow, before smiling; Hanabi had been one of his most promising, if asocial students. He blamed it on her formal demeanor. "Of course." After dismissing the rest of his class, he massaged his neck. "So? What do you have to ask?"

"Do you know what happened to Naruto-san?" Hanabi asked. "I heard you and him were close, and I haven't seen him since the invasion."

Iruka narrowed his eyes. He had heard Naruto had performed an… inexcusable behavior with the young Hyuuga, and he was slightly curious. "Why do you seek him?"

"Because he's my rival and I have to defeat him in a fair duel," she explained with all the seriousness in the world.

Iruka couldn't help but chuckle with amusement. _Her rival? My, that's the first time I've heard of this. _"I see." His face turned grim. "I am afraid to say Naruto has been missing in action since the invasion. We heavily suspect him to have been captured by the enemy as a prisoner of war. For now, I have next-to-no information on his whereabouts."

Iruka had a few hours before heard a Chuunin say either Naruto had deserted or, better, been killed in action. The teacher had punched the man so hard he nearly broke his own hand.

"I see." She appeared genuinely worried an instant, before correcting her expression. "I mean, this is a terrible loss."

"Yes. He was my favorite student in the last graduating class, to be truthful." The teacher inhaled sharply. "I hope he's okay."

Hanabi frowned. "How was he?" she asked. "I do not know much about him beside our interactions and what my sister told me."

Iruka kept his mouth shut for a few seconds, struggling to find words to describe his old student. "He was my pupil," he admitted. "Not because he was a genius in the ninja arts, or good in a special area. He wasn't as bright as a Nara or as strong as an Akimichi… but I've never seen someone so stubborn and determined, beside Rock Lee. Naruto was my best student because he didn't know when to give up and his resolve never faltered."

He chuckled. "I'm pretty sure he's making his captor's life hellish as we speak."

* * *

"Hey, Hinata," Kiba started, "Congratulations on your promotion!"

"You have performed admirably well," Shino added.

"I am very proud of you, Hinata," Kurenai finished, "I am extremely happy, and you should be too."

"Thank you," the girl answered with a blush, her new Chuunin jacket still feeling too heavy for her shoulders.

"I'm so jealous," Ino complained, "Shika and Hinata are both promoted, while all my efforts were for naught…"

"Don't complain, I've got too much work now," Shikamaru whined, Chouji offering him his chips as a gift.

"Well, with Shikamaru and Hinata being promoted as Chuunin," Asuma continued, "Tsunade-sama asked us to form a single scouting platoon. We will do missions near the borders from now on and observe movements around them, in case we see signs of activities." Inwardly, he wondered how he and Kurenai could get some… private time… without their students watching.

"What about Team Gai?" Ino asked. "Or Sasuke-kun?"

Asuma and Kurenai exchanged a worried glance. "Sasuke is still missing in action and our intelligence is trying to locate the prisoners of war," the Genjutsu specialist stated, "As for Team Gai, since they have all been promoted to Chuunin I guess they will be sent on more difficult missions."

Hinata frowned. While she trusted Tenten and Neji to take care of themselves, something was amiss. "And Naruto-san?" she asked. "What will he do?"

Asuma coughed. "Naruto Uzumaki… is missing too. But I'm certain he's fine," he hastily added.

The looks the teens sent him showed they weren't especially convinced.

_Naruto-kun… _Hinata thought, _Please be safe…_

* * *

"… and this is how, after dad remembered what… what this Sasori had done to him… he decided to surrender to Konoha and share his knowledge," Ayame explained, "Gai-dono… how long do you think they will keep him in custody?"

"I cannot say," the man admitted, "If Inoichi-san can prove he was an unwilling pawn of Sasori, then he will be freed once all useful information has been extracted from his mind. It might take a while, however, but do not despair! I'm sure he'll be fine!"

Ayame lowered her head, unconvinced. Tenten couldn't help but feel pity for the poor waitress. Her father, no, hundreds of people, had suddenly realized their role as unwilling agent in the last phase of the invasion, which had resulted in mostly guilt, and sometimes open desertion. Teuchi had been one of the few brave enough to surrender to the authorities.

After learning about it, Team Gai had come to offer their support to the waitress, inviting her to Tenten's home until Teuchi was freed. With the destruction of Ichiraku's during the conflict, Ayame needed help, badly.

Neji had been the most helpful. The Hyuuga compound had been heavily damaged by incendiary bombs, and he understood the loss of a home more than anyone. "I am certain Teuchi-san will be released soon," he told Ayame. "He's a victim, not a criminal."

"Any news about Naruto-kun?" Tenten asked, petting Apophis' head.

"No," Neji shook his head, "Jiraiya-sama told me he would bring us information as soon as he could."

As Jiraiya's official apprentice, the young Hyuuga was the closest to the Toad sage. Tenten was slightly worried he would pick up his teacher's habits, but fortunately she had yet to notice a change in the boy's behavior, beside the loss of his bitterness. Naruto had done wonders indeed.

Lee glanced at Apophis. "Can't the snakes help us, Apophis-san?"

"The White Snake Sage told me he may or may not surrender information if he believes it to be worth the risk," the beast replied. "He does not want wish an open conflict with Akatsuki."

Tenten prepared to snap at Apophis that Naruto was _their summoner _and in great danger, before being interrupted by the opening of a door. "My scout has confirmed it," Mei Terumi, Godaime Mizukage, exchanged words with Jiraiya, "Kisame Hoshigake and Itachi Uchiha were sighted fleeing with two prisoners in the direction of the Land of Rain. The captives match the description of both Gaara of the Sand and Han of Iwagakure."

"Nearly all of Sasori's agents we interrogated told us they sent their information to the Land of Rain, probably so Sasori could examine their reports first and then give orders," Jiraiya stated, "This confirms the Land of Rain _is _Akatsuki's main base of operation. Which means we'll have to infiltrate it before the Tailed Beasts are extracted."

"According to my sources, the extraction jutsu used by Akatsuki is dependent on its membership and their rings," Mei said. "I do not know how many of them are left, but I am certain with the loss of Orochimaru, Sasori, and maybe other members, they will be slowed down Jiraiya-dono."

"You're talking about Naruto-san, right?" Lee asked, before realizing who he was addressing. "Forgive my outburst, I didn't mean-"

"No harm done, I was never a fan of formalities," Jiraiya cut in, "The situation is complicated and it will take some time to explain you everything, so let's make it short: we heavily suspect the organization that captured Naruto Uzumaki is based in the Land of Rain. And your team is going to help me rescue him."

"_Us_?" Neji blinked, for once losing his stoic demeanor.

"Them?" Mei frowned. "Forgive my skepticism, Jiraiya-dono, but wouldn't it be wiser to bring more experienced troops, like ANBU?"

Jiraiya crossed his arms. "Maito Gai is Konoha's top taijutsu master. His students are among the most promising Chuunin of this year-"

"Wait, Chuunin?" Gai's eyes widened. "Jiraiya-sama, does it mean-"

"You haven't been informed? Due to their exceptional work during the Invasion, the genin who reached the third stage have all been promoted to Chuunin." The pervert chuckled at the newly promoted ninjas' expressions. "Hey, don't make those faces, all of you have more than earned it. Tsunade will hand you your jackets once she's fully instated as Godaime."

While Gai and Lee made a victory pose, Neji simply lowered his head with stoic pride. "This is an honor for me to promoted. I will do my best to serve the Leaf for the best."

"Me too." Tenten was both proud of herself for reaching Chuunin, and silently happy Tsunade would become the Godaime Hokage. Her idol and somewhat tutor would be the leader the city needed in such hard times. "You said we could help Naruto?" she said, focusing more on her friend's well-being than her own.

"Yep. Since the ANBU has taken a hit during the Invasion, the rescue of Naruto Uzumaki falls on me and whoever I recruit." Jiraiya coughed, "As you are all his friends and proved yourselves during the invasion, I decided to have Gai's team be my taskforce. Lady Mizukage will also offer her nation's support in this mission. The pet snake can come too."

"I'm _not _a pet!" Apophis hissed in irritation.

"We will rescue Naruto-kun in no time, I swear it!" Lee boasted with bravery.

Ayame narrowed her eyes. "Just… come back alive, not only with Naruto, but with his friends too, okay? I worry about them."

"I promise," Tenten smiled, although inwardly, she was anything but confident. If an organization could kidnap so many Jinchuuriki, then what were their chances?

_I've seen worse, _Tenten thought, _I mustn't lose focus__._

* * *

"If I remember well, this is the first time in the last five years we're all gathered, in the flesh, in one place," Kisame mused, sitting around the long table between Itachi and Kakuzu, "Although we lost several seats."

Deidara snorted. With Hidan's 'punishment', the disappearances of Tobi and Zetsu, and the deaths of both Sasori and Orochimaru, Akatsuki was reduced to six members, an unusually low number. "Seems like Sasori-dono found out the hard way no art is ever lasting-"

"Enough," Pain cut in, "I would like us to observe a minute of silence for the fallen, who gave their lives so our organization may prosper."

The different criminals obeyed, although in a few cases with reluctance. Kisame briefly glanced at the room around him, finding it to be equipped with a large windows showing Ame's main districts. The building itself was the highest in the city, with the exception of the memorial tower. Kisame guessed it fitted Pain's megalomania: when looking through this window, no one escaped his gaze.

After the minute of silence ended, Pain invited his underlings to report. Kakuzu coughed, and the god wannabe let him speak. "The loss of Sasori and Orochimaru will put a premature end to many of our projects," the bounty hunter observed. "With Sasori's death, many of his agents were freed of his mind control. A few might keep working with us, but many have switched loyalty already. As for Orochimaru, many of his men were loyal to him, not to Akatsuki. I'm pretty sure most will turn into roaming bands of missing-nins."

"There were deserters, true, but we salvaged most of his staff," Konan replied. "The invasion might have only been a partial success, but we can roll with it."

"Speaking of the invasion, what about Tobi?" Deidara asked. "I heard he was killed. And where the hell is Zetsu?"

"Worrying about your partner?" Kisame mocked. "I thought you couldn't stand him?"

"Oh, shut up Kisame, what kind of senpai doesn't keep an eye on his kohai?"

"Tobi and Zetsu are still missing in action," Pain told the group, "Since there has been no evidence they survived, consider them dead unless their survival is confirmed."

Itachi did his best to hide his joy, much to Kisame's amusement. The Uchiha probably hoped the masked man would be gone for good. However, Itachi couldn't help but be skeptical. Madara was harder to kill than a cockroach after all.

"I received news confirming Sarutobi's death at the hands of Orochimaru-san," Konan coughed. "Jiraiya and Tsunade were nominated, but Konoha hasn't yet designed the Sandaime's successor."

"At least Orochimaru managed to make the invasion a mixed a victory," Kakuzu snorted. "Suna is crushed. With the death of the Yondaime and most of the Sand's officers, Chiyo should be elected as Godaime Kazekage. I bet she asks for peace, if only because Onoki _will _exploit the situation to try seizing Suna's territory. Konoha suffered little damage overall."

"Define little damage," Kisame countered, "The four Jinchuuriki were captured, and between Leader's actions and the urban fights a good chunk city is in ruin. I call it a victory, albeit a costly one."

"What I mean is, while the Leaf is weakened, its military is not crippled." Kakuzu crossed his arms. "We'll be able to sell weapons in the future Suna-Iwa war, but Kumo won't risk a conflict it can't win. Especially since we captured their last Jinchuuriki two days ago." He glanced at Konan. "We have you to thank for it."

The woman did not answer, and Pain brushed off the matter. "You would be surprised what Kumo will do," he said, "The plan is approaching its final phase. Unforeseen events have caused it to progress faster than I anticipated."

The other Akatsuki exchanged glances. "I'm not a strategist," Deidara pointed out, "Yet with the Great Nations mostly standing, I'm not sure we're nowhere near the end."

"No, I did not mean Akatsuki's plan," Pain corrected, "I mean _my _plan."

Kisame frowned, just as everyone but Konan did.

"I am ashamed to say I deceived you. Only Sasori and Konan were aware the plan I fed you, the basic guidelines you followed… were nothing more than a glorified smokescreen. A trap for the Great Nations to fall in."

Pain glanced at Itachi. "I know the truth, Itachi," the god wannabe whispered, causing the Uchiha's eyes to widen in dread, "About the massacre. Where your true allegiance lays. I have known ever since you joined Akatsuki. Your role as double agent ends now."

Itachi nearly thought he would be killed on the spot, only for Pain to disabuse him. "A Kage would have you executed, but I am generous and forgiving. Since the reasons for your actions were noble, I pardon your treachery, this once."

Pain inhaled calmly. "However, this is a one-time amnesty. Should you be found betraying Akatsuki again from this point forward, I will have your brother nailed to a cross."

It wasn't a threat. It was a fact. There was no mistake in the cold tone: Pain wouldn't bat an eyelash about punishing Itachi through his sibling. The prodigy clenched his fists. _Sarutobi, I told you to protect my brother, _he silently cursed the dead Hokage.

Yet, inwardly, the person Itachi Uchiha blamed the most was himself. "Understood," he whispered weakly.

"As much as I find this scene entertaining," Kakuzu coughed, "What is the real plan then Leader?"

The god wannabe joined his fingers. "Has anyone told you why Uzushiogakure was wiped out?"

"Because their seals were feared?" Kisame suggested.

"This is only the tip of the iceberg, the veil hiding a more sinister truth," Pain explained, "The Uzumaki were wiped out because they had invented the ultimate weapon. A Kinjutsu so powerful it could destroy a country in the blink of an eye."

"That's absurd," Deidara complained, "Even Tailed Beasts and Iwa's strongest techniques can't do that!"

"The ultimate Kinjutsu can," Pain corrected, "But for it to be used, nearly limitless chakra reserves are needed. Originally, the Uzumaki intended to fuel it by building up chakra in seals over a century, but as you can guess, there is a faster, more efficient solution. The nine Tailed Beasts together can power this technique."

"Let me guess," Kakuzu snickered, "You found and mastered this 'ultimate technique'?"

"Yes. All I needed were the Tailed Beasts to fuel it. I was aware the Hidden Villages wouldn't let me capture them without fighting back, and hence, I created this organization to counter the five Kage." Pain held his breath. "When the ultimate Kinjutsu will be completed, Akatsuki shall use it to intimidate the continent into submission and establish eternal peace, through unmatched strength. A power so great no number, no tactic, no jutsu can overcome it. The flags of the nations will be replaced by a single, red one, and we shall emerge as the supreme rulers of a new world. A world without lies, without ninjas, a world of purity and stability."

Pain extended them his hand. "Who is willing to follow me?"

Konan of course accepted, while Itachi didn't have much choice in the matter. Kisame shrugged and went along. Kakuzu said as long as he got paid a shitload of money he couldn't care less what his boss' plan was, and Deidara agreed for the same reason he joined the organization: because he wanted revenge on Itachi first and foremost. Kisame inwardly wondered if the madman would find Leader's jutsu 'artistic'.

"Then this is settled," Pain finished, "We shall start the extraction of the Ichibi later, but for now… we rest."

When Itachi and Kisame left the room, the swordsman gave his partner a light tap on the shoulder. "Sorry for your brother," he said. "It's not your fault."

"It's entirely my fault," Itachi shot back, "I should have dragged him away from the fighting when I had the chance." The Uchiha glanced at his friend. "You didn't seem enamored with Leader's vision. I thought you wanted to see a world of truth?"

"I've been fed that lie too many times already, it doesn't stick anymore." Kisame shrugged. "Madara and Pain are both liars. The first wears a mask, the second pretends to be a god. Can you honestly trust a liar to create a world of truth?"

"Point taken," Itachi said, already trying to figure out how he could free Sasuke.

* * *

Once the Akatsuki members left, Pain ordered Konan to check on the prisoners while he focused on an important task. Retreating in his personal tower, the god wannabe entered a white, immaculate morgue. Hundreds of compartments contained the corpses of potential Paths, all selected for their strength, vigor, or special abilities.

Zetsu was nailed to a wall, chakra transmitters embedded in his flesh. "Bastard…" the white half cursed the Deva Path, who ignored his prisoner and opened one of the compartments. "Why… Why?"

"Because you are Madara's ally, not my own." Pain examined the newest corpse he had acquired. Danzo seemed strangely peaceful in death, the seal on his body shining on his skin. Nagato inwardly regretted not to have killed the man himself, yet found relief in the fact Yahiko was fully avenged at last. "I intended to remove you both when all Tailed Beasts were collected. Danzo's actions simply facilitated my task."

**"You betrayer…" **the black half coughed. **"What…"**

"What are my intentions?" Pain coughed. "I will keep Madara sealed and safe in this tower, in case I need him again. In your case… the chakra rods I implanted in your body will alter the frequencies of your chakra, allowing me to influence your clones." Pain chuckled briefly at Zetsu's astonished face. "You thought I hadn't done my research?"

**"You cannot…"**

"I can. Zetsu, you and I are similar. We are a single mind controlling a network of bodies." Pain's hand touched the plant man's torso, checking out his heartbeat. "It will be easy to take over your clones, to make your network an extension of mine. Of course I cannot fully control so many vessels as I do my Paths, so I will settle on rewriting the minds of your remaining clones. They shall be loyal to me instead of Madara now."

As the control of his clones slipped away from him, as he felt the rods destroy him from the inside, Zetsu found himself looking inside Pain's cold, shining eyes. "Your role is over, foolish one," the fake god whispered serenely, "Return to dust."

* * *

When Naruto woke up, it was with one hell of a headache and in a warm, king-sized bed. His eyes snapped open, then examined his surroundings.

The blonde was in a suite. Probably a Daimyo's, considering the great size and the multiple rooms. The walls of the room were bright red and golden, and clean clothes had been deposited on a large brown wardrobe for him to take. They were simple, common clothes.

All his equipment was gone.

Remembering Pain's assault, it didn't take long for Naruto to guess he was imprisoned. Putting the clothes on, after checking to see if there were hidden bugs on them, the blonde examined the suite. It contained a bathroom, a salon, a kitchen, and a cocktail bar equipped with what appeared to be a radio. The place was fitted with windows, and Naruto gazed outside through them.

The city he was currently imprisoned within was suffering from a downpour, to the point it was difficult to see past the rain. It was night, but neon lights illuminated the streets. From the black buildings to the ominous tower in the center of the city, the atmosphere outside seemed gloomy.

It took him two minutes to find the door of the suite, a closed wooden gate standing between the ninja and the world outside.

Naruto first knocked gently on it. Then when nobody answered, he knocked harder. In the end, he decided to be loud. "Hey! Hey, what's up? Pain? Pain, open that door we've got to talk!"

The door opened, forcing Naruto to take a step back.

"You should stay quiet, you _annoying brat_," a giant warned softly, entering the room and overshadowing Naruto. The creature was vaguely humanoid, and it ended there. The fingers ended with claws, the teeth were fangs. The creature's skin was slightly red in tone. His height reached nearly eight feet, his body being a mass of muscles. He was wearing bandages over the head and chest, and short black pants. He even had little horns on the back of his skull.

Naruto briefly glanced in case there was an opening, but he backed down upon realizing the giant was backed up by two masked guards. "Who are you?"

"I know I've gained a few pounds," the creature said with a deep, yet slightly familiar voice, "But I am saddened you don't remember me, Naruto. After all, am I not the one who introduced you to Orochimaru-sama in the first place?"

The blonde's eyes snapped open. "Dosu?"

"Surprised?" The monster snickered. "I told you Orochimaru could give you great power should you join us. As you can see I underwent a… metamorphosis. A pity you decided not to cast down this feeble body of yours to get an improved one. Trust me, you would feel better."

"Where am I?" Naruto clenched his fists. "Where are my friends? Where's Pain?"

"Pain-sama is currently occupied and apologizes for being too busy to give you some of his precious time," Dosu replied softly. "However, Konan-sama, his second-in-command, will visit you very soon. Until then, it would be better for you to find a way to kill time in silence, while the men behind me and I guard the door."

Naruto gritted his teeth. He hated being powerless. "You didn't answer my first questions."

"Your friends are the least of your worries right now," Dosu shrugged his shoulders. "As for the _'where'_… haven't you looked through the windows? I thought with your intelligence you would have guessed by now." The giant slowly closed the door, upon leaving the room. "Welcome to Amegakure, Naruto."

After waiting for several minutes, Naruto indeed found a way to kill time: observing every corner of his new suite and looking for a way to escape. He found none. At best he could break the windows, but the height was too great. Naruto was probably on the fifteenth floor, and the fall would kill him.

Cursing, the blonde decided to kill time another way. Reaching the cocktail bar, he started examining the radio. What was it doing here? Without tools he couldn't exploit it, so he simply turned it on.

The radio first produced some music, a song Naruto found calming. After a short time, the song ended and was replaced by a singing, masculine voice. _"Welcome on Radio Ame ladies and gentlemen! Here is your pal Mr. Rainbow! If you want to hear the news, stay tuned!"_

Naruto blinked. The hell?

_"Did I tell you that you were the most lovely, wonderful listeners in the world? Because this is the first news!" _The voice adopted a slightly more serious tone. _"Yesterday, Konohagakure was attacked by their once close allies, Sunagakure, in the middle of the Chunin Exams organized for the continent's southern countries. According to our information, it appears to be retribution for the border incident which happened nearly two months ago. Missing-nins were reported to have fought on Sunagakure's side. The authorities suspect they had been hired-"_

The voice on the radio continued to give what appeared to be a civilian report on the set of events now nicknamed the _'Invasion of Konoha'_. It was a source of good, if impossible to check out, info. Sunagakure's forces were helped by shock missing-nin troops, including the infamous Orochimaru, who was killed in action. The Kazekage was missing in action, and overall, Konohagakure's army barely lost a fifth of its military strength. Naruto was glad to hear that.

Then the voice announced the death of the Sandaime Hokage.

The details weren't clear. According to witnesses, it was Orochimaru who gave him the fatal blow. Others pretended they saw the ghosts of the Shodai Hokage do the deed through a purple wall, which made little sense. However, the Sandaime's death had been confirmed by Konoha. A Godaime would be chosen in the following, with Jiraiya and Tsunade being the most likely candidates.

Naruto wasn't sure what he felt at that instant. Sadness? Anger? All in all, it felt awful. His grandfather figure was gone, and with him, the possibilities of learning the truth about his past.

Then it got worse. While Konoha's army didn't suffer much, at least a fourth of the city had been destroyed, along with the entire Hokage Monument. The blonde blinked at that, doubly so when he learned thousands of civilians and ninjas that had been trapped in the area were dead or missing. The Hyuuga Compound had been nearly entirely destroyed.

Could that brat Hanabi and Hinata have been killed? Absurd, he told himself. Both were in the stadium at the time, but they could have been killed there too. Could Ayame and her dad have died during the chaos? Was Iruka alive?

And what the hell Pain did to his friends? Fuu was needed for Akatsuki's plans, and Sasuke had been targeted by Sasori in the past, but what about Yugao?

Naruto found the uncertainty and his own doubts more troubling than the news.

Then the news were over and the radio produced a happy melodious song, which utterly failed to improve the blonde's mood.

"Hello, Naruto-san."

So lost in his thoughts, the ninja hadn't heard when someone had slipped in. His eyes drifted until they found the voice's source, a woman in her mid thirties, with short blue hair and amber eyes. She was wearing black civilian clothing and very beautiful, but her emotionless face chilled Naruto to the bone.

"This is a pleasure to meet you," the woman bowed politely, "My name is Konan. I am Pain-sama's second-in-command and assistant."

"It's a pleasure to see a wonderful lady visiting a poor boy such as myself," Naruto faked a smile, doing his best to hide his tension and fear. If this woman wanted to exchange fake politeness, he would answer in kind.

As expected, Konan was not disarmed in the slightest and moved behind the bar. Naruto did not let her escape his gaze. "Would you like some refreshment?"

"Does fresh air count?" Naruto deadpanned.

"You will get outside, eventually. I hope you understand we did not go through so much troubles to bring you here, only to release you on the spot." She placed a glass full of a mix of fruit juice and alcohol. Aware she could kill or drug him anytime without him being able to fight back, Naruto reluctantly brought the liquid to his lips. "I am certain you have questions."

Naruto did the only thing he could: glare at her. "What did Pain do to my friends?"

"Nothing. They are alive and safe in other areas of the city. We prefer to keep you in different buildings, to prevent your from organizing a possible escape attempt." Konan shrugged. "I assure you Fuu of Takigakure, Sasuke Uchiha, Han of Iwa, Gaara of the Sand, and your ANBU protector are treated-"

"Han?" Naruto's eyes widened. "Gaara?"

"Yes, we captured them both." Konan cracked a small, faint smile. "With my recent capture of Yugito Nii, all Jinchuuriki have been captured."

Naruto paled. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because Pain asked me to check on you, and I don't see why I shouldn't be honest with a guest." Konan glanced at the radio. "This was a gift from me. Ame has been trying to popularize a national radio, and I thought you might appreciate learning news from the outside world."

While Naruto experienced brief genuine gratefulness, his suspicious nature prevailed. "If we're in Ame, then it means Salamander Hanzo is behind Akatsuki? Funding it?"

"Hanzo is dead and buried." Konan's tone was full of anger, which surprised Naruto. "Pain killed him and took over. The event is very recent, so most of the world at large ignores this information. Pain rules Amegakure with an iron fist, both as leader and god."

Since Hanzo had wasted the three Sannin together, it spoke volumes about Pain's power. Considering the ease he had restraining opponents who managed to stand up to Sasori, it wasn't very surprising. "Who is Pain exactly?" Naruto asked. "Who are you to him? What does he want?"

Konan glanced at the windows. "You should ask him yourself."

When Naruto saw a man floating beyond the window, the rain trailing down his face, the teen's blood froze in his veins.

"Naruto," Pain started, "I will show you the real me."

* * *

The tower in the center of Amegakure was Pain's HQ, and the highest floor his home.

When Pain told him he would see the 'real' him, Naruto briefly thought Pain was a figurehead for a nastier, more elusive missing-nin. Maybe a legend like Madara Uchiha, or Hanzo faking his death. When the false Pain guided him inside, revealing the tower as a giant morgue and memorial for the fallen, the Konoha-nin briefly wondered what kind of man would willingly live in such a graveyard.

The top floor was however much different from the rest of the building. It was a fairly simple apartment, with the only noteworthy room being a large, cubic place equipped with screens, computers, and maps.

And in the center, the real Pain waited on his throne.

He was a redhead, emaciated man in his mid-thirties, who moved inside a floating throne preventing Naruto from seeing anything underneath the naked torso. The ninja's skin was pale, pierced with black rods. His eyes were the same as the fake Pain's, and his fingers were intertwined. He was a hunter observing a prey.

The all-powerful, terrifying leader of both Akatsuki and Amegakure, was a man in a glorified wheelchair.

It would have been a huge letdown, if Naruto couldn't _feel _the power emanating from this man. The redhead's mere presence was nearly unbearable. Even Sasori or Orochimaru never frightened Naruto to this extent.

This man could probably crush the teen without lifting a finger.

"I am certain you expected something else," the redhead whispered. "My name is Nagato Uzumaki, bearer of the Rinnegan and the new god of this world. Pain is but a vessel of my will, a puppet I control through projecting my chakra. Sasori and I shared more than blood. Why did you try killing him? The body was in such a poor condition even I couldn't recreate it."

Naruto clenched his fists. "Because he harmed my loved ones."

"A kinslayer is said to be cursed, and Itachi may be the living proof of it." Nagato narrowed his eyes, the fabled Dojutsu said able to undo creation itself. "Although I understand your grievances, I cannot help but think this was a mistake from my part. Akatsuki should have approached you earlier, on better terms. If I had simply had more foresight, you might have joined us willingly."

The tone was genuinely regretful, and Naruto paused, unable to decide if this was a trick to earn the teen's sympathy. "But you are not here to discuss Sasori, correct? The past is the past." Nagato raised his head. "As Konan probably told you, your friends are fine and being treated as guests. Contact with them will be limited, for your security, but I can arrange a visit once per week, if this is alright for you?"

Naruto clenched his jaw. This was a crappy deal, but this was the best he would get. "What will you do to them?"

"If you and they cooperate, nothing. I need the Bijuu for my plans, but I do not need to extract them… simply for a Jinchuuriki to provide their chakra and support once a while. Of course, if a Jinchuuriki is disloyal, the extraction of his Tailed Beast is a more sensible alternative. It would be a shame to do so to a family member, but the needs of the world outweigh the life of a single man."

The message couldn't be clearer: _I__f you do not obey and convince others to obey, you will all be gruesomely killed._

"What are your plans?" Naruto asked, trying to gather information.

"To replace the ninja system with something better, to establish global peace. A noble goal, you will agree, yet impossible to fulfill without resorting to radical measures." Nagato shrugged. "I will not tell you the details until you earn my trust, and believe me, you have a long ways to go."

Naruto instinctively scowled. "Why? Why are you doing all this? How do you intend to bring peace by spreading chaos and mayhem?"

Nagato stayed silent an instant. "Have you not understood yet the ninja system is doomed from the start?" he asked. "It is in its nature to consume itself, a beast devouring its own limbs. It would collapse on its own before another half century had passed. I am simply hastening the process and making sure a better society will replace it."

The blonde narrowed his eyebrows. "Konoha and the other Hidden Villages lasted for nearly a century."

"And at what cost?" The redhead shrugged. "The ninja world's economy is based on a war market, meaning there has to be constant conflict for the Hidden Villages to stay afloat. Wars are secretly incited between nations so ninjas can get employment. People cannot challenge the inefficient, unjust feudal system since they cannot defy ninjas. The development of technologies that could make the world a better place, but with the side effect of making ninjas obsolete, is halted. Children with a bright future are indoctrinated and sent to die for nothing. Iron which could be used to build medical equipment is wasted on shaping kunai, stone which could build roads is used for fortifications. The Hidden Villages' war effort is absorbing resources which could be used to develop trade and a more sustainable way of living than pillaging your neighbors. Hidden Villages spread suffering merely by existing. They did not stop war, only made it bigger in scale and better organized. The only difference between the current world and the clans' era is that children are killed at twelve instead of nine."

Naruto opened his mouth, and closed it.

"Such a way of living can only last as long as there are resources to waste, and the time when they are exhausted is approaching. When the Hidden Villages won't be able to sustain themselves, the world will return to anarchy and chaos, unless a new system comes to replace them. A homogeneous culture which would prevent mankind from fracturing itself, a one world order which will bring long term stability to the world. This is Akatsuki's true goal: an utopia which transcends nations themselves."

The argument would have sounded convincing for many people, but Naruto was too jaded to buy it. "You would have to change human nature to achieve that."

"Human nature is a social construct. Your own values were conditioned by Konoha since the moment you attended their Academy. But I have found a factor which allows one to reach enlightenment." The leader of Akatsuki locked eyes with his fellow Uzumaki. "Suffering. And you are the living proof of it."

"Enlightenment through suffering?" The Jinchuuriki was genuinely confused. "You'll have to explain me because I am having troubles understanding."

"Those who cannot understand true pain cannot understand true peace," Nagato replied, "Pain awakened you. It gave you the gift of resilience and determination. You were born with twin curses, and you lived rejected. Yet, the pain you experienced only inspired you to strive, to aim ever higher. It made you learn empathy for others, it taught you the value of true friendship. I have gone through a similar process myself, and this suffering is what drives me. This is what I am: the pain that shall teach the world the value of peace."

_Yeah, he's a complete megalomaniac. _"When you see Sasuke, you can't help but think pain makes people bitter."

"We are all bitter Naruto. And this same bitterness is what makes us appreciate the good in the world instead of wasting it." Pain cracked his neck. "I am surprised you did not use my blood to gain Chakra, to be honest."

Naruto's eyes widened. "The Samsara-"

"One of its elements is my blood. You have seen the body I use as decoy: by injecting my blood inside the corpse and using special rods to transfer them my chakra, I am able to enhance its abilities and control it remotely. The great Sage once taught mankind ninjutsu through a similar, less crude process." Nagato smiled. "Have you never wondered how exactly mankind learned to use chakra?"

"Since I couldn't use it, I wasn't truly interested."

"You should have, for it would have cast a new light on yourself." The self-proclaimed god cracked his fingers. "In truly ancient times, before the Sage, all of mankind was like you. Chakra was unknown. In fact, beside the natural Chakra used by animals and sages, it did not exist."

Naruto frowned. "What the hell-"

"Then one day, a terrible beast fell from the skies. A creature of untold might. A god or a demon, no one can tell. Perhaps it was an invader, a parasite which had consumed other worlds and now came for ours. Whatever its nature, one thing was certain: this creature had limitless chakra and warped the earth with its very presence, threatening to destroy all of life. This was the first Tailed Beast."

"The Kyuubi?" If the story was true, then did it mean the beast inside his belly was linked to the origin of chakra itself?

"No. I speak of the Kyuubi's ancestor and progenitor. Anyway, when the world was close to death, a savior with immense power appeared out of nowhere and defeated the beast. This man would later be known as the Sage of the Sixth Paths." Nagato extended his hands. "And I bear his eyes.

"The beast was too strong to be killed, so the Sage decided to divide it. He shaped nine creatures out of its Chakra, the Tailed Beasts. But even this was not enough to completely defeat the original demon. So he found an alternative."

Naruto understood instantly. "He transferred the demon's chakra to mankind?"

"Yes. Every man and woman was gifted with a spark of chakra, which would grow stronger with the individual, often inducing mutations like bloodline limits, and be transferred to their children. There lies the origin of ninjutsu. The Nine Tails destroyed your spark and chakra system because it was both aware man could survive without it if his body had not grown dependent on it, and because it hoped you would rely on it to win your battles. Repeated use of its chakra would weaken the seal, probably resulting in the Nine Tails escaping. With slight adjustments, I can prevent this scenario... in exchange for your cooperation."

Naruto frowned. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because what the Sage did with mankind, I can do with a mere man." Nagato offered his hand to Naruto. "If you are loyal to me and Akatsuki, I will gladly gift you with what the Kyuubi deprived you of at birth."

Naruto silently observed the hand, without uttering a word. The offer was tempting, true, but he didn't trust Pain in the slightest.

"There is still time for you to make up your mind." Nagato coolly dismissed him. "Konan will guide you to your friends, so you may share a few minutes of camaraderie with them. Afterward, she will ask you if you wish to join us and put your resolve to test. You may leave now."

The Jinchuuriki turned around and started walking toward the exit.

"Naruto."

The blonde stopped moving.

"Do not defy me," Nagato coughed, "While I would have you and your fellow Jinchuuriki side with us, I am not Sasori. If you oppose me, I will teach you a sharp lesson. Do you understand?"

"Yes," the teen rasped, "Yes I do."

* * *

As promised, Konan brought Naruto to the rest of his friends and then left him alone with them in an empty community hall.

It was obvious they had seen better days. They were pale and sickly-looking, with Sasuke looking to be the most affected of the bunch. Yugao had lost her mask and seemed truly tired, Fuu was shaking slightly, and Han waited, his arms crossed. "Chakra suppressing seals," Yugao explained, revealing her arm to Naruto. Black designs had been painted on it. "They suppress the individual's chakra to a minimal level. Enough to live, not enough to fuel any technique. Sasuke is too young not to suffer from a chakra-sickness."

"And in our case," Fuu began, "They reinforced our Bijuu seal so we cannot draw on their power. Probably did the same with you."

Naruto had guessed something like that would happen. "They treated you well?"

"They gave the Han a funny radio so he can listen to music, but otherwise, the Han has seen better days." The giant shrugged. "Pain blackmailed you, didn't he?"

"Yes." There was probably bugs in the room, but Naruto couldn't care less. "It's not like I've got a choice. I'll be allowed to see you once per week, apparently."

"They told me they would make us move from place to place," Sasuke guessed. "In case we try preparing an escape."

This greatly complicated things. "I see."

Yugao locked eyes with Naruto. Surprisingly, the teen didn't need words to understand the message she wanted to convey. It was as clear as water.

_"Earn Pain's trust. Do what he's telling you. Try gathering information or contact the outside world. In other words, stay undercover."_

Naruto silently nodded.

The rest of the discussion was quite short. Naruto shared them the radio's info, while stressing the fact the information might not be objective. Obviously, the rest of his friends were too weakened by the seals to react with clarity of mind.

"This sickness is a temporary side-effect of Chakra withdrawal," Konan admitted, once exiting the room with Naruto, "They will recover their strength over the next days. Do not worry, we have medics checking on them everyday."

Naruto kept his mouth shut, unwilling to talk. The blue-haired woman frowned. "I understand your reluctance, but I promise you all I care about is your welfare. If you ever need anything I will do my best to grant your wish, within the limits of my loyalty and competences."

The blonde inhaled deeply. "I will work for Pain."

"Not out of your own will," Konan noted, "But it's a start. Alright, in order to test your loyalty and let you acclimatize to your new home, you will be sent to do a few missions for Amegakure, under the watch of one of Akatsuki's main members."

Naruto raised his head with an obvious lack of enthusiasm. "My new home?"

"Amegakure is your home now, Naruto. Your arrival might have been… difficult… but you will find a better life in this place than in Konoha, trust me." Konan gave him a gentle smile. "You can go now."

* * *

Waiting outside the building, shielding himself from the rain with an umbrella, Itachi couldn't help but adopt a grim face.

When they came face to face, he and Naruto Uzumaki exchanged gazes. The teenager seemed to instantly recognize him, as Itachi picked a gleam of disgust in the boy's eyes. If his expression was to be trusted, the Jinchuuriki wasn't especially enjoying his current situation.

"Happy to meet you, Naruto-san," Itachi began, shielding the kid with his umbrella.

"The pleasure isn't mutual, Itachi-san," the blonde replied with venom.

_Sasuke told him, _the Uchiha guessed. _Nice. Now any hope I had to make a good impression is gone. This complicates my plans. _"Konan-san asked me to be your senpai for the duration of your stay in Amegakure," he explained. "Pain-sama gave you clear rules to follow. Breaking them will result in severe consequences."

Naruto lowered his head and obeyed. Itachi's activated Sharingan however picked the subtle hints of defiance the teen attempted to hide. _He's bidding his time until he finds an opportunity, _the Uchiha thought. _Good._

"While you are completely free to walk around inside Ame as you please, you are forbidden from leaving the city. Pain removed the tracker Sarutobi put in your seal and replaced it with his own version, meaning while none of your allies will be able to track you down, Akatsuki can easily locate you anywhere, anytime."

The teen didn't appear surprised and kept listening. "You will receive a daily allowance so you can attend to your needs," Itachi explained, "However, guards will check out your belongings and are authorized to use force on you if you resist or are under suspicion. The people you will talk to shall also been kept under scrutiny, so if you convince someone to smuggle you out they will probably end up dead, by your fault."

As the boy didn't say a word, Itachi briefly wondered if that was how Kisame felt when they were doing missions. "You and other members of Pain-sama's army will do missions and exercises together. Our leader believes in team-building. After I show you the main areas in the city, you and I will have to help solve a few minor vandalism problems in the merchant district."

Finally finding Naruto's silence a little too unnerving, Itachi asked a stupid question. "Naruto," the Uchiha began, "Do you trust me?"

"No."

"You will have to," Itachi inhaled sharply, "If you and your friends wish to escape this place, that is."

This actually caused the teen's eyes to widen surprise. "What?" he asked flatly.

"I am your only friend in this city, Naruto-san," Itachi replied, before turning his back on the blonde, "You would do well to remember that."

* * *

**A/N: **and so the first half of the story is concluded. Next chapter will start after a timeskip.

I decided to make a backstory of Pain's 'ultimate kinjutsu' (which is totally not an atomic bomb jutsu). The idea had to come from _somewhere_. I also expanded the tale of the Sage of the Sixth Paths. It was never truly explained how he taught people to use ninjutsu, or where the bloodline limits came from (although I've got the feeling Juubi!Obito will probably give details during the final battle).

I've always planned to have Naruto and co be detained at Ame, although I changed a few details from my original plotline. This should give more insight into what it is to live in a minor nation instead of a greater one.

Oh, and Mr. Rainbow is a shout out to Mr. New Vegas from Fallout: New Vegas. I don't know, I absolutely love this character's lines.

Would you kindly review?


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